I'm Right Here
Twigs were snapping underneath her boots as she wandered further into the forest. It was getting darker and the footprints in the wet soil were getting harder to distinguish. I should have brought a torch. Asami thought as she quickened her pace. She knew the woods around her house well, but the darkness of night obscured everything, so finding her way back without light would be challenging.
She stumbled through some bushes, going on instinct now since Korra's footprints were nowhere to be found. Where did she go? Is she running all the way back to the city? No, she would have asked for a ride… Asami grew worried as the light retreated. The woods were big and if she didn't find Korra fast, she would be forced to go back and she really didn't want to leave Korra alone in the forest. She was considering calling out Korra's name, but that could attract the wrong kind of people. Korra was, after all, still in hiding.
"Come on, where are you?" She started to talk to herself, anxiety rising. She descended a slippery slope and saw a person in the distance standing over some bushes. With haste she made her way over to the person and saw to her relieve that it was Korra. She had her hands pushed down on something that looked like a spirit vine. Her eyes were closed and her face was contorted in concentration. Asami halted beside her and decided not to disturb the Avatar in this state. It didn't take long before Korra opened her eyes, a mix of sadness and seriousness on her face.
"Korra? Is everything okay?" Asami asked calmly. Korra let out a sigh and let herself slide down against the spirit vine, sitting in the mud.
"Kuvira is harvesting spirit vines, that's why they're angry. And they have Jinora…" Korra said defeated. She saw the disasters happening before her eyes and she had no idea what to do about it.
"You could see all that through the vines?" Asami asked in awe, curiosity outweighing her concern.
"Yes, Toph Beifond taught me…" Korra said rather emotionless. I have to get used to famous people if I want to stay friends with Korra. Asami thought to herself. She knelt before Korra and grabbed her shoulders, feeling the powerlessness coursing through the Avatar's body.
"Don't worry, you will figure something out. Let's go home before it gets too dark to find our way back." She said softly, worried that Korra might crumble if she talked too loudly. Asami rose to her feet again and shrugged her jacket from her shoulders. Without saying another word she placed the jacket around Korra and helped the Avatar up.
"I'm not cold." Korra stated while reluctantly standing up, slumping her shoulders.
"It's not about temperature. It's about comfort." Asami said. Korra smiled despite herself. She actually did feel a strange kind of comfort from the weight of Asami's jacket pressing on her. It lifted her spirits a bit. Asami nodded in approval and started her way back through the forest with Korra in tow.
Once Asami was inside the house she immediately turned the heater on. Her shirt was drenched due to the rain and it was hard to supress the chatter of her teeth. Korra saw a shiver run down Asami's body and felt a bit guilty for taking her jacket.
"Okay, so what's next?" Asami asked, turning to Korra.
"I don't know." Korra answered, looking at her feet.
"So the spirit vines have your friend?" Asami asked. She had read about Jinora in the paper when she became the youngest airbending master. There was a picture of a young girl with a big arrow on her head. Asami also remembered seeing Korra in a wheelchair next to her.
Korra slowly nodded to answer Asami's question, but didn't suggest any solutions. Asami sighed, this was going to be a one-sided conversation.
"Okay, I can maybe drive you to the city if the roads aren't too slippery yet." Asami offered.
"That won't work. Her spirit is stuck in the spirit world. I couldn't sense her here." Korra said, still not meeting Asami's eyes. Korra felt like she was on a dead-end street. Whenever she tried to move on something blocked her. She already had lost Su's family and now Tenzin's family was in jeopardy, while she was still stuck in her sorry state.
"The spirit world… You can meditate yourself into the spirit world and safe them from there." Asami tried another solution.
"No, I can't enter the spirit world…" Korra sounded bitter.
"But meditation can ge…"
"No, I said I can't! I tried, but every time I see Zaheer killing me!" Korra interrupted Asami. She sounded more furious than sad now. Asami kept silent, taken aback by Korra's little outburst. Zaheer. That's what this is all about. Asami slowly puzzled Korra's nightmares together. The Red Lotus had almost killed the Avatar. Korra was walking again, but mentally she was still broken.
Korra wanted to run away again. She couldn't stand knowing that Kuvira was destroying the world and Jinora was in danger and she wasn't able to do anything. She just let it all happen. And now Asami was staring at her with a blank expression. She simply couldn't take it anymore. She didn't want to be the Avatar. She didn't want to have those terrible memories. She just wanted to be a normal person living a boring life.
After a pause Asami disappeared into the bedroom. Great, now she is also giving up on me. Korra's mood grew darker while she hung Asami's jacket on the coat rack. After a while Asami returned to the living room. She had put on a dry shirt and carried a glove with an electrical device on it. Korra recognized it as an electrified glove. Without saying a word Asami shoved the salon table to the side.
"What are you doing?" Korra asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You're going to the spirit world." Asami said, her voice sounded harsh.
"I told you, I can't." Korra said with a frown. Was Asami not listening to her?
"You said that you have flashbacks to Zaheer attacking you, not that you can't go." Asami pointed out, putting on her glove. Korra was at a loss of words. Asami looked at her with a stern stare. She didn't leave Korra any room to object.
Asami sat down on the ground with crossed legs and kept looking at Korra. With heavy feet Korra made her way over to Asami and sat across from her, not knowing what would happen next. Asami saw the confused and scared expression on Korra's face and a lump started to form in her throat. She didn't want to upset Korra or even force her to do something she was clearly afraid of. But she had a feeling that the Avatar needed a good push in the right direction. From what she observed, Korra's friends were tiptoeing around her. They even had sent her away to give her space. Maybe it was time to force Korra's hand a bit.
"Asami, I don't kno…" Asami heard the slight tremble in Korra's voice and felt a bit bad for talking so harsh to her.
"Listen, I'm not going to hurt you." She spoke before Korra could continue. Her voice softened and Korra looked at her.
"I once had an experience that left me broken. I didn't know what to do with myself. Every time I wanted to move on I was being held back by that memory. I lost a lot in those days and I wished that there had been someone who forced me to move on. Eventually I found the courage to face my fears. It was painful and hard, but it was the only way to get through it." Asami told Korra. Korra couldn't carry on feeling sorry for herself and thinking that everything she does ends up in disaster. She needed to go over the edge to regain herself.
"I tried to get through it this morning, but it didn't work." Korra said hesitantly, Zaheer's face still fresh on her memory.
"I can't even start to imagine what the Red Lotus put you through. I wish I could help you, but this is something you have to do alone. I can, however, promise you that whatever happens in there I'll be here to protect your body for when you get back." Asami's voice was warmer than a moment ago. Korra took a deep breath. She owned it to her friends and family to at least try again, but she wasn't sure Asami could make the difference by just sitting there.
"I will try…" Korra mumbled. Asami leaned forward and laid her hands on Korra's knees. The warm touch startled Korra a little, but then forced a smile on her face.
"You've done a lot of incredible things already, you can do this too. Don't worry, I'll be here." Asami assured her one last time. Korra nodded and pushed her two fists together. Asami leaned back a little and took her hands off Korra. She looked determined and ready to fight with her electrified glove. Korra wasn't worried about bandits taking her body while she was meditating and Asami's glove would be useless once Korra was transported to the spirit world. But seeing Asami geared up to protect her made her breathe a little easier. It's not about protection, but about comfort. She could almost hear Asami say. She nodded to Asami one last time and closed her eyes. Okay, here we go…
No time was wasted on making Korra believe she actually entered the spirit world. The cold chains around her ankles and wrists returned immediately. Her stomach twisted when her body flew useless through the sky. The rocks breaking her fall felt too real.
No, I have to go on. I have to let it play out. I have to safe Jinora. Korra repeated to herself, keeping herself focussed on the task ahead. A strong whiff of air hit her face when she saw him land before her. She was on her knees and could only look up to the man that destroyed her life. His face was cold and calm. With a nonchalant turn of his hand he created a vortex of air around Korra's head. Korra knew what came next when her lungs slowly emptied themselves of air.
Jinora. You have to… She closed her eyes and braced herself. With the air leaving her body, the reasons why she had to push through this once again started to leave her as well. She couldn't. Zaheer would always lurk inside her head. She wasn't the Avatar her friends had hoped for.
The vortex tugged harder on her lungs and the feeling got unbearable. I have to get out of here! Korra's panic rose as she struggled against her memories. She wanted to open her eyes and leave this horrible place when a strange warmth engulfed her. It felt like an embrace, but there was no one there. I'm not alone and I can't let my friends be alone… The strange warmth helped Korra focus even though her lungs were burning. With a deep inhale she regained her posture. Wait! I breathed! Slowly the cold metal, the hard ground and the choking vortex disappeared. Korra opened her eyes to the beautiful green fields of the spirit world.
In wonder Korra stood up. The mild air tickled her face and she saw spirits fly away into the distance.
"I made it…" Korra mumbled. A small smile tugged at her lips.
"I made it!" She yelled in relieve. A bright white light engulfed her chest and a familiar strength coursed through her veins.
"Raava, you're back." Korra whispered, hugging herself as to keep Raava close.
"I was always inside you." Raava spoke in her comforting voice.
"Can you help me find Jinora?" Korra asked, suddenly remembering why she was here. Without saying a word, Raava guided her through the spirit world, shifting the space around Korra. Korra entered a dark jungle of spirit vines. In the middle was a big green cocoon containing people from Republic City. Korra approached the cocoon and saw Jinora floating between the others.
"How am I going to free them?" Korra asked.
"Bend the energy." Raava replied.
"But I can't. I'm powerless here…" Korra mumbled, seeing another obstacle in her way.
"No you're not. You're strongest in the spirit world. Here you're connected with all the spiritual energy." Raava explained. Korra nodded and brought her hand to the surface of the cocoon. Just like reading the energy of the spirt vines. She reminded herself as she closed her eyes. She felt her spiritual energy connecting with the spirit vines that held her friends. The vines were upset and held on to the scared spirits of the humans. Korra pushed her energy out into the cocoon, feeling Raava react to it. Slowly she felt the spiritual energy even out, releasing the captured spirits. Korra stood back and saw everyone float back to their bodies.
"Thank you Raava…" She said, feeling calm for the first time in years.
Korra was overflowing with happiness when she opened her eyes again. She couldn't wait to tell Asami that it worked! She had faced Zaheer once again and had found a new place in her mind for the tragic event. She found Raava within herself and freed Jinora and the other people. She was closer to being the Avatar she once was!
"Asami! I…" Korra looked around the room. The bookcase was laying on its side, the couch had fallen over, one window was broken and the ground was filled with fallen books and papers. It was a mess. Korra frantically tried to get up, noticing that she was laying on her back. Something soft behind her started to move and when she jumped to her feet she saw Asami on the ground behind her.
"You're back." Asami mumbled with a vague smile. Her hair was dishevelled and a little stream of red flowed from her nose.
"What happened!? You're bleeding!" Korra shouted out in her confused daze. Asami lazily brought her fingers to her nose and inspected the red stain left on her fingertips.
"Yeah, your elbow is really hard." She said, crawling to her feet. Korra immediately bended some water from the tap in the kitchen and brought it to Asami's face. The water glowed and Asami felt the stinging in her nose dissolve.
"You're an healer." Asami observed in surprise when Korra bended the water back into the sink.
"Yes, I learned it from master Katara." Korra explained.
"But that day I found you in the woods. Why didn't you heal yourself then?" Asami asked. A red colour filled Korra's cheeks.
"Uhm… well… You did such a good job with the bandages, it felt rude to let all that work go to waste." Korra explained with a sheepish grin on her face. Asami laughed.
"So I take it you were successful in the spirit world." Asami asked, noticing the happiness radiating from Korra.
"Yes! I made it through my battle with Zaheer and saved Jinora and the others!" Korra said in excitement. "But what happened here?" Korra pointed towards the devastation in front of her.
"Well, you were meditating and all of a sudden your eyes started to glow. I guess you were struggling, because you started to airbend. I tried to calm you the best I could, which left me with a nosebleed." Asami tried to sound levelled, but Korra's display of raw power without any sense of what was going on around her had scared Asami. The only way to keep Korra from destroying the house was trying to keep her down, which was harder than Asami had anticipated. After a struggle Korra calmed down, whether it was because her nightmare had ended or due to Asami's arms wrapped tightly around her, Asami didn't know. But she kept Korra tightly in her arms until the Avatar returned to her body.
"I'm so sorry, this has never happened before." Korra apologized, reaching over to the couch to put it back into its place.
"Don't worry, it's just stuff. I'm glad you're okay and helped your friends." Asami smiled and picked up some papers and books from the ground.
"Just stuff? I thought you were all about stuff and automobiles." Korra said with a smirk. Asami scoffed playfully.
"You would be too if you had my Satomobile." Asami teased back. She was happy that Korra could joke again. The defeat and sadness Korra had carried around had lifted. To Asami it was wonderful to see Korra calm and carefree for the moment. Totally worth this mess. Asami thought, while continuing to clean up the room.
With a stretch and a yawn Asami stepped out of the bathroom into the bedroom. Korra was already laying on the bed, the small night lamp illuminating her face. Asami was exhausted to say the least. Her stressful day in the city and Korra's victory in the spirit world had drained all her energy. She let herself fall down on the bed next to Korra and let the mattress absorb her sore body.
"Thanks for everything you did today." Korra said, turning towards Asami. Asami cracked open one eye and smiled back at her.
"You're welcome." She said. After Korra's meditation they cleaned up the room and started a late dinner. Korra had been joking throughout the whole evening. It gave Asami a glimpse of Korra before her terribly fight with the Red Lotus and she liked the calm and goofy Korra better. Korra had deserved her victory today and Asami was glad to be a part of it.
"Asami?" Korra asked with a little hesitation. Asami raised an eyebrow and turned her face further towards the Avatar.
"Yes?" She said, holding back another yawn.
"Can I ask you something?" Korra continued.
"Of course…"
"When you spoke about facing your fears…"
"Yes?"
"You said you had experienced something you had to get through. Was it your mother?" Korra asked softly. She didn't want to poke around in Asami's personal life, but she realised she had never asked about Asami's mother. She remembered Asami mentioning that her mother had died. After all the time they had spent together Korra thought she should at least ask. Besides, she wanted to help Asami the way she had helped her. If Asami wanted to share she could.
There was a silence after Korra's question, making Korra doubt whether it was a good idea to bring it up.
"No, it was something else. Although seeing my mother die is still an haunting memory." Asami spoke careful.
"I'm sorry if I brought something up you don't want to talk about. It's just… if you want to talk we can… you know."
"Thanks Korra. I try to remember my mother as the wonderful woman she was, not at the moment she was taken away by… the Agni Kai Triad." Asami almost spat out the name of the triad that had attacked her home years ago as if it was poison. Maybe it was poison to her.
Korra felt a chill run down her spine. From all the terrible things she had to go through, losing her parents wasn't one of them. Mako and Bolin had lost both their parents when they were little and they didn't really wanted to talk about it. Korra herself was only once close to losing her father. At the moment it felt horrible, but before Korra could mourn, she found out her father was, thank the heavens, still alive. Now Asami said that losing her mother wasn't the terrible experience she had referred to. What could be worse than losing your mother? Korra asked herself, but decided not to push it.
Korra swallowed when Asami turned away from her again. Maybe this wasn't a good time to bond over bad memories.
"I didn't want to upset you." Korra apologized. Asami turned to face Korra again and smiled at her.
"You didn't. Let's get some sleep though. I'm exhausted." She said through her weak smile, her voice strangely void of emotion. Korra nodded and clicked off the lamp beside her. After ten minutes of darkness and silence, Korra felt Asami's weight shift from the bed. She was getting up. With cautious footsteps she left the bedroom. When the silence returned Korra grunted and pushed the palms of her hands onto her eyes. Why did you have to ask? She scolded herself. She only wanted to let Asami know she was here for her as well.
Korra let an half hour pass before she got worried. Asami still hadn't returned. Maybe she decided to sleep somewhere else, maybe she was working in the garage to avoid sleep. With another grunt Korra sat up. She had to see if Asami was okay. Without making a sound, Korra walked to the door and opened it a little. The darkness in the living room was pierced by the small lamp on Asami's desk. Asami herself was slumped over the desk with her hand laying loosely on the knob of the radio. The soft crackling sound of static made its way through the room. The slow rise and fall of Asami's shoulders told Korra that Asami was asleep.
With careful footsteps Korra approached Asami and slowly turned off the radio. Asami hummed and folded her hand under her head. She looked peaceful, even though the thoughts that had compelled her to end up sleeping here must have been anything but peaceful. We all have our Zaheers. Korra thought.
Somehow it made her sad that Asami harboured pain and fear just like everyone else. Korra could deal with the fact that her life was intertwined with tragedy, since the good times outweighed the bad ones. But thinking of Asami sitting here all alone with her nightmares made Korra's stomach turn. Nobody should be living out here alone, with no one to talk to.
Somewhere in the back of Korra's mind things started to make sense. She had gotten angry when she found out Asami's ties to the Hisoka family. It was beyond her how Asmai could put up with their backwards eaqualist sentiments. But seeing Asami slumped over this desk alone made Korra glad that Asami had some contacts in the city. That there were people out there thinking about her, inviting her over for tea even though they were equalists. The Hisoka family was her safety net.
Korra had been lucky to have met the most wonderful people in the world. Tenzin's family, Mako, Bolin, the Beifong family, they were all fantastic friends. And her parents and Naga loved her unconditionally. Whatever pain Korra had to endure, she knew that there was always an home with her loved ones waiting for her. Maybe she was spoiled in that department, not realising that some people didn't have the luxury of good friends and family and had to do with the people that took them in. Even when those people were harbouring hateful opinions.
In the darkness Korra searched for a blanket she knew was laying somewhere on the couch. Carefully, as not to wake Asami, she laid the blanket over the shoulders of the sleeping woman.
"I'll be your friend, if you want to…" Korra whispered and got a soft snore in return. The sound made Korra smile and she decided that as long as she was alive Asami would have another person to fall back on.
Phew, another chapter. I'm sorry for any grammatical mistakes or typos. I had to read it over pretty quickly.
Next chapter a little Kuvira action! So stay tuned :p
