Chapter 7: Family

Bip…Bip…

Um? That sounds…

"AGH!"

Pathetic! Chitose must be waiting for me! Breakfast sure is ready now! Hurry! Where's my sweater?

I open my cupboard and start to dig it up. Not too much clothes inside it, just a red sweater, a black winter coat, two black turtleneck shirts, three white T-shirts, three black trousers, two deep-blue jeans, a pair of black winter gloves, some black and white shawls and some of important stuffs, such underwear of course. Such a boring color, huh? It's just black, white and only just one red. But, I love red color most, because it resembles me. So brave, yet energetic.

I don't have much time to think what I should wear today. I think I'm grabbing one of the white T-shirts, the longest black trousers, and the red sweater. Not a minute, I already get change and burst out instantly. And I immediately can see Chitose is preparing the breakfast, alone.

"Ah, morning Atsuma."

"I'm sorry, Chitose. I overslept."

"No problem." She comforts me with her smile, I feel relief. "Toya woke up earlier this morning and helped me."

What?! I look around and find him sitting in front of the dining table. I walk fast to him and start to scream, "ARGH! You stole my job!" I point my finger to him.

"Who cares?" he lolls his tongue on me.

"Hehehe…"

Both of us, Toya and me, turn our head together to see Chitose with her giggle.

"What's so funny?" Toya feel confuse with her giggle. He doesn't understand, neither me.

Chitose is still smiling, her bright brown eyes looking at us with warmth.

"I like it." Again, with her little giggle, she talks to us. "Listen to your 'ARGH' every morning, makes me feel more energetic. I wish we could live together like this forever."

Ah...yes, everyone has their own wishes. That's what make their still thinking how beautiful live is if they can achieve their wishes. Chitose of course has her own wishes too. Together with us…

But, what if one day, Toya and I move to Yokohama? Will Chitose come with us too? I hold the same wish like Chitose too. Together like a family, forever…

We sit in front of the table, ready for the breakfast. The smells of roasted breads make me hungrier. I take 5 breads on my plate, and put some strawberry jam on the first bread, blueberry jam on the second bread, raspberry jam on the third, blackberry and peanut jam on the fourth and fifth bread. Toya almost hits me because I put too much jams on my breads. Seeing us like this, make Chitose giggles again.

"Isn't it feels like family?" she says, "even though it isn't a perfect family. But I can pretend to be your mom."

"Huh? Isn't that too young?" says Toya.

"Yeah, it is a bit too young to become our mom. You just 26, aren't you?" I'm adding my opinion too. But I'm a bit excited too, and so I'm adding a question, "but who'll become our dad?"

"Hehe…" again, she's giggling. This time with a bit melancholy. "We'll see it…"

Huh? What's the meaning of that?

"Chitose! You don't mean, you have a boyfriend!" Toya seems surprise. And now I understand her meaning.

"No, but I used to have." Her bright eyes now become brighter. Or should I say because she feels sad and wants to cry? I'm more confused than before. Used to have… Meaning is she had a boyfriend before. But where he is now? Did they break up? Or… is he death? Every time, thinking about past, Chitose and Toya will feel pain in their heart. How about me? A boy without past, can't feel any sadness. I can't share it with others nor understand their feeling when they feel sad. Not only past, I don't know who I am either. Do I have family? Do I have mom and dad? Sisters? Brothers? Do they care about me? If so, they must be worried about me now. Someone I used to rely on. Did I really have it?

"I'm going to a nearby town." Chitose's voice breaks the silence as she takes my empty plate and other plates to the sink. "Our food supplies are almost empty." She adds while washing her hands.

My eyes shine so brightly, I know this day will come. I'm going to see other place and meet other people from other place. Oh, falling star! You're truly granted my wish!

"You guys stay at home. I won't be long. And I've prepared lunch for you two." Did Chitose say that we should stay? What? Why?!

"Can't we go with you?" I'm a bit panic. I don't want to lose my big opportunity to see what world is like. I look at her very eyes with full of hope.

"No, Atsuma. I'm sorry." Her eyes turn glassy and gaze at me with meaningfully. I can't understand her thought. I try to read the meaning of her eyes, but that sorrowful, the eyes which pretend to be strong even still holding the sadness.

"Why?" I know my chance isn't coming yet. But I want to know the reason.

"I just can't take you along. It's too dangerous out there. And pretty far though." she explain, "I'm afraid you can't afford it."

"We'll protect you. Or help you bring the groceries."

"Hahaha…" she laugh, "I'd love to. But I don't want it becomes your burden."

Now, I really lost my chance. Ah, maybe not this time.

"Well, I've to go now." She says while wearing her red coat, "I'll be back before dinner. But…"

She fixes her white scarf and sighs, "but, if I don't come back on time, you guys must endure your hunger, OK?"

Wha? Trust me, I can't endure it. My stomach is very on time with food stuffs. Oh, please, Chitose! You must come back right on time! But I don't comment it too much. I just look at Toya with weak eyes and he only shrugs. Chitose seems to understand me; she smiles and says, "I won't be long. You will get your dinner right on time."

I reply her smile and nod.

"Well, better go now. Bye." She takes her basket; put it on her right arm and walk out through the mist.

"Careful, Chitose."

She smiles again and walks forward. Her shadow disappears within the mist. My eyes are still gazing at the deep mist which swallows her image. It's good to be a grown up. You can do whatever you want; you can go everywhere you like too.

"Disappointed, huh?" Toya ask me with some smile on his face. It's very suck to see it.

I sigh, I can feel the cold wind blow through the door, it's freezing and so I close the door. Disappointed… it's maybe the best word to describe me now. I walk to the window and sit in front of it. I start my habit, thinking. It's there a nearby town in here? If there's so, why Chitose choose to life in here? It's nothing in here except the snowfield and of course this little house. Man, it's too much questions on my head. It's confusing my mind now.

Sigh…

I turn my eyes to Toya and as I thought, he is reading his book on the floor. He hums happily while turning the pages. Sigh… doesn't he feel disappointed? Didn't he wish to be in some other cities?

Sigh…

"There's something strange with you today." Toya looks at me with curious eyes.

"Oh yeah?" I'm too lazy to answer his question. But I try not to ignore him.

"Uh-Hu. It's so weird to see you like this. You don't talk too much today."

Oh, brother… no need to answer that question, Toya. Can't you feel that I'm too lazy to talk right now?

Sigh…

"…and sigh too much…"

Sigh… so annoying… I don't want to see his face right now…

"Alright… alright…"

He stops teasing me and continues to read his book. I don't even know what page he's reading. It's too thick with those small texts on it. Oh, my head's hurt to see that. I don't even know how many times he read that book already. I don't know how he got this book. Hey, that's true. How could he get this book? He's not from here too. He can't be carried this book along with him when he was escaping from his village.

Why there are so many questions without answers? Damn! Not a question again.

Sigh…

"You're so annoying!",says Toya.

I'm bloating my cheeks, they look like balloon now. Toya! Do you detest my sighs? It's the very melodious sighs you ever heard, you know?

He closes the book and stands up. He stretches his muscles like a cat. He turns his head to me and he smiles, an arrogant smile.

"I know that you disappointed. I used to feel it too."

"Wha?"

"Well, I must do some rituals now." He walks to his room, "if you need me, you know where to find me."

He goes inside his room and I know what he's doing, doing some research for golems with that book. He leaves me alone in the living room. As always, I start my usual habit, staring outside the window, feeling the calmness then fall in deep thought of mine.