Chapter 6: Moving Forward

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

As my phone's alarm went off, I opened my eyes.

Mondays… I thought to myself, still waking up.

Lazily reaching for my phone, I knocked it off my nightstand and onto the floor. I got up, bent over, and scooped it off the floor, turning off the alarm. As I did so, I noticed that I had a new message from Yukino.

Sender: Yukinoshita

Message: How are we going to come out to Yuigahama? I don't want us to make things unnecessarily awkward for her.

Oh, right. I fell asleep last night while texting Yukino and never replied to her last message. Plus, I still had to switch her contact name over to her first name. Keeping that in mind, I realized that I had to take my migraine medication, which I was going to have to discontinue during my chemotherapy treatment. I quickly walked over to the bathroom, poured myself a glass of water from the faucet, and reached in the medicine cabinet. I unscrewed the pill bottle, took one out, screwed it back up and placed it back in the cabinet, closing that as well. Taking my medication and swigging some water in my mouth, I lost myself in thought like I always do.

This sure is going to be one interesting day… I wonder if I made the right choice with Yukinoshita. Everything happened so fast and we were caught up in the moment. She really cares about me, but then again there's no denying the fact that she played dirty with Yuigahama. On top of that, she's asking me what to do even though she made the initial leap… That girl… I'm going to have to have a few words with her, stealing my heart like that.

Clearing my throat after downing the rest of the glass of water, I sighed. Despite the sketchy circumstances surrounding all that had taken place Friday evening, the truth was that I had made a commitment to Yukino, and I wasn't going to back out now. There was nothing wrong with it. It's not like Yukino was doing this out of spite to Yuigahama or anyone else. She was merely acting on her own accord, something that she had always wanted to do. She knew that what she wanted would slip through her fingers if she didn't act and so she acted. Plus, I still cared about her deeply and carried some feelings for her as well, even if a lot of it stemmed from a hormonal, spur-of-the-moment incident. Regardless, this didn't change the fact that bringing all this up to Yuigahama would be difficult. Immediately, I was brought back to some words that Hiratsuka-sensei had left me back on the bridge some time ago: think, writhe, agonize, and struggle. Heh. Maybe this is what she meant.

I returned to my room and picked up my phone. I began to hammer out a message and then pressed the send button. It read simply:

We'll find a way.

After sending out the message, I walked out to the kitchen to find that there were two plates sitting on the counter, both filled with eggs, bacon, and rice. Suddenly, a small figure leaped out at me from behind the refrigerator.

"Boo! Gotcha, onii-chan!" shouted Komachi, now standing in front of me.

"Yeah, no. You still need to work on your surprise attacks." I said jokingly, patting her head.

"Ahh, no fun! Anyways, I made us both breakfast and I even waited for you to come out of your room. Ooh, I bet that scored a lot of points!" said Komachi, picking up the two plates and taking them over to the dining table. As we ate breakfast, she spoke up with a suspiciously gleeful tone in her voice.

"Soo, onii-chan. Yukino-chan told me that you were going to be at her apartment on Friday and you didn't get back until afternoon the next day… Tell me, am I going to be an auntie?"

"No, no. Nothing like that." I replied, my face starting to flush

"Oh, but I'm sure you two love birds did something together, am I right?" Komachi questioned with the same gleeful tone

"Well, I guess you could say we're dating now." I spat out, with one brow slightly raised. I mean, it was the truth. No need to fret it in front of Komachi. She'd probably be delighted to hear. And delighted she was.

"Oh, really?! I knew you could do it, onii-chan! So, how did you confess?"

"Umm… She was actually the one who confessed to me." I replied, brow still raised.

"Ehh?! Wow, onii-chan! So suave that the ladies come crawling to confess to you! I bet that earned even more points!" Komachi exclaimed

I sighed. Patting Komachi's head, I continued to eat breakfast. I'm glad she was completely back to her usual self. She hadn't been this cheery (or cheeky) since before the initial oncology center visit. After finishing her plate, Komachi asked another question.

"So, what did you two do together at Yukino-chan's place? Obviously something happened since you two are in loooove now. Heeheeheehee!" Komachi inquired, giggling as she did so.

"It's a long story." I replied

"I wanna hear it!"

"Maybe later."

"Awww… Fine. Do tell me though, onii-chan…" Komachi said, pretending to pout. I patted her on the head once more, and went back to my room to change into my school uniform.

From there, the morning proceeded like usual, and before I knew it, I found myself chaining my bike to the bike rack and walking up the steps to my classroom. Yukino and I were in different classes, so we wouldn't see each other until lunch and then again at club. Oh, right. Yukino. I pulled out my phone and checked for new messages. Yukino had responded, saying "Okay. I trust you." Crap. I was bound to run into Yuigahama in first period since she was in my homeroom. I wasn't going to tell her then and there, but I didn't want to go into first period completely clueless of what to say to her.

What does one do? What does one do… I thought to myself

As I was about to put my phone away, an idea popped into my head.

Bingo! That's it!

I checked the time and saw that there were 25 minutes until class started. Keeping this in mind, I walked towards Hiratsuka-sensei's office.

"Looks like you've found yourself in quite the pickle, Hikigaya." said Hiratsuka-sensei, scratching her head.

"Yeah, tell me about it…" I returned, slouching in the office chair I was sitting in.

"You know, we talked about a similar issue you were having a while back. Do you recall what I told you?" she asked, encouraging me to remember and answer.

"Yeah, I remember. Think, writhe, agonize, and struggle. Those were your exact words. I know what you meant by that, but don't you think that things have, uhh… changed? Since then I mean."

Hiratsuka-sensei was quick to reply.

"Well, yes. Things have changed since then. Obviously you've found yourself in a pool of different circumstances, but the fact that we're all humans who make mistakes and have emotions is still the same."

"I don't follow?"

"What I mean is, you obviously care deeply about Yuigahama despite pursuing a relationship with Yukinoshita. On top of this, Yukinoshita also cares deeply about Yuigahama. If Yuigahama carries feelings for you, there is the risk that she'll distance herself from you two to avoid the pain involved with being denied her unrequited love. There's also the fact that you have your condition, which only complicates the whole situation further. If she pushes herself away and you and Yukinoshita try to help her, there's also the risk that she'll lash out at you both because she feels cornered. Even worse, there's the risk that she might outright force herself to endure the pain of being denied in an attempt to appease everyone. These are risks that I know you've probably considered and risks that you will be taking. But, if you're truly committed to being with Yukinoshita, they're risks that are worth taking. You can't make everyone happy, Hikigaya. I know if it were possible, you would, but you can't please everyone. What happens will happen. But, it's these happenings that make us who we are. It builds character. At the end of the day, we're all just learning."

With that, Hiratsuka-sensei took a long breath and looked back at me. For a moment, we sat there in silence as I pondered what she just told me. Finally, I responded.

"So what course of action should I take?"

"Think about it and do what you feel is right." Hiratsuka-sensei replied. "Logically, you're in a catch-22 where you run the risk of hurting someone you deeply care about regardless of what action you take. There is no purely logical course of action here. However, if you consider what you want and act upon that, consequences be damned, you'll be doing the right thing and you'll be able to continue without regret."

I thought about that last part. If I thought about it and did what I felt was right, I'd be doing the right thing. Hearing that, although robbing me of efficacy, was cathartic.

I've come this far. I value what I have with the Service Club, but preserving the old status quo is no longer an option. I made a promise to Yukinoshita, but I don't want Yuigahama to suffer either. Think, Hachiman. What do you genuinely want?

With that, a feeling of peace washed over me and I looked up towards Hiratsuka-sensei. I nodded my head and spoke.

"I think I know what I'm going to do now. Thank you, sensei." I said.

Hiratsuka-sensei nodded gently and I took my leave. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Walking into first period, I sat down in my usual spot and was immediately greeted by Totsuka, who gave me his signature angelic smile. Returning the smile, I noticed Yuigahama out of the corner of my eye. She walked up to my desk and gave her usual greeting.

"Yahallo, Hikki!"

"Oh, Yuigahama-san. Good morning." I replied nonchalantly

"Is everything okay, Hikki? You seem out of it today." Yuigahama said with a puzzled look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about some things. By the way, there's something we need to talk about today in club."

"Oh? Is it a request?"

"No, but it has to do with the club. It's important. We'll talk about it there."

"Oh, okay." said Yuigahama, her puzzled expression slightly fading away.

I was setting everything in order. All I had to do next was talk to Yukino and discuss a few things with her at lunch and we would be ready to move forward. I sent her a text telling me to meet me on the rooftop at lunch and closed my phone.

"So, Hachi-kun… Did anything happen?" Yukino asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. I told Yuigahama that we have something to talk about in club. I also asked Hiratsuka-sensei for a little advice and she told me to do what felt right. I think telling Yuigahama and going from there is the right thing to do. It's the honest thing to do. But, I need to talk to you about a couple things first." I said. Yukino tilted her head.

"Sure. Like what?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Don't take this the wrong way. I want to be with you and I'm not breaking the promise that I made to you last Friday night, but I need you to know that what you did was playing dirty. That's the main reason our relationship is going to be so hard to bring up to Yuigahama in the first place. I know that's not a very comforting thought to hear, but it's true. Keeping that in mind, are you ready to accept Yuigahama's reaction, regardless of what it might be?"

Yukino looked down and then back up at me again. She nodded her head and spoke.

"I am. I knew that I'd be putting our friendship on the line if I went after you, but I was willing to take that risk. I know that things will never be the same after this, but I hope we can all still enjoy ourselves as much as we used to. But, Hachi-kun. If worst comes to worst and Yuigahama hates both of us, it'll be my fault. If that happens, would you still love me?"

"Yes. And it'll be our burden to carry if that does happen."

"How are we going to tell her?"

"Simple. We come out with it. No beating around the bush or ignoring the issue. We sit her down and tell her the truth. We'll let her know that we're still there for her and that she'll have our support and understanding regardless of how she decides to respond. It's the best we can do."

Yukino simply nodded in reply. We stood there on the roof in silence for a few moments. Despite all the talking we'd done over the past weekend, it wasn't until now that I was certain that we were one hundred percent on the same page. I smiled and looked into the sky. Turning back towards Yukino, I spoke up once again.

"I'm ready if you are."

Yukino nodded again and we both headed back down the stairs to eat our lunches. It was soon going to be time.

After the final bell rang, I packed my bags and headed straight for the clubroom. Walking down the hall, I felt almost weightless in stark contrast to how I'd felt a week and a half ago. Yukino and I were on the same page and I was willing to accept what was to come next, regardless of what happened. As I approached the door to the Service Club, I took a deep breath and slid it open.

"Yahallo, Hikki!" exclaimed Yuigahama, cheerful as usual. Yukino merely nodded and got up from her seat to prepare some tea. I replied with my usual greeting and was about to say something else when Yuigahama asked a question.

"You said you had something important to talk about in club today, right?"

Yuigahama's expression changed to the same puzzled look that she was giving me earlier and I nodded.

"Yes I did."

I looked at Yukino, who subtly motioned for me to continue and I looked back at Yuigahama.

"Yuigahama. There's something that you need to know. You specifically." I said. Yuigahama tilted her head suspiciously.

"Oh?"

"But before I do, I just want you to know… It's okay to be honest and let out how you feel about it. Don't feel like you have to hold back." I said. I took a deep breath and then continued.

"Yukinoshita and I are in a relationship."

Yuigahama sat for a short while without making any sort of reaction or response. After a few moments, she smiled and looked towards me, in Yukino's direction, and then back at me. She let out a small chuckle and spoke in a tone that was unusually cheerful, even for Yuigahama herself.

"Congratulations, Hikki! Yukinon! I'm glad you two are happy together…"

Quickly, she trailed off and she looked down at the floor. Her cheerful smile soon devolved into a sad one and as she looked up, I could notice small tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Immediately, I felt pangs of guilt sweep over me and as I looked over at Yukino, I noticed that she wore a pensive look on her face. Keeping Hiratsuka-sensei's advice in mind, I looked back at Yuigahama and hesitantly continued.

"It happened over the weekend. We... Things happened, we talked and we knew it would be wrong to hide from you. I'm sorry."

Yuigahama shook her head slowly and spoke up again, her voice beginning to waver.

"Don't apologize, Hikki. What's there to apologize for? I…"

She trailed off again, steadily losing her composure. As I looked at Yukino, Yuigahama stared at the floor, whispering something quietly to herself, although I could hear her perfectly.

"I guess we just weren't meant to be…"

Yuigahama looked back up at me again and asked a question.

"This is what makes Hikki happy, right?"

I slowly nodded my head, smiling softly at Yuigahama in an attempt to coax her. Tears were evidently streaming down her face, but she still smiled. She was clearly in pain, but was doing all that she could to control herself.

"T-then I'm ha-"

Yuigahama fell to her knees and cried. Yukino got up to come and comfort her, but I waved her off. Not yet. Standing up, Yuigahama slowly walked towards me. Mere inches away from me now, she looked directly into my eyes and spoke up again.

"Hikki... Whatever happens, you stick with Yukinon, you hear me?"

I nodded. Suddenly, Yuigahama pulled me into an embrace. She rested her head on my shoulder and spoke up again, this time in a more calm, collected manner.

"I know I'll never take Yukinon's place, but please, Hikki… Let me stay like this for a little bit."

I looked over to Yukino, who nodded encouragingly. We stood there in silence for a few minutes. As we did, I thought to myself.

I thought back to first year, when Yuigahama and I walked around at the Fireworks Festival together. I'm almost certain she was about to confess right then and there, but I'd stopped her. Maybe it was due to a misunderstanding. Maybe it was due to the fact that I simply wasn't fit for a relationship of any sort at that point. Either way, it was all in the past now, and whatever might've happened differently had I not told her to answer her phone that night was unwise to dwell upon. The truth was, I didn't hold the same feelings for her that I did for Yukino even though I cared for her immensely.

I'm sorry, Yuigahama… I know this isn't fair to you. This isn't the first time I've denied you, but I know that this is the right thing to do. I hope you understand…

Yuigahama let go and walked over to Yukino. She pulled Yukino into a similar embrace and whispered something into her ear. Pulling her head back, Yukino smiled sadly and nodded. Yuigahama headed over to her seat and grabbed her bag. Wiping her eyes, she picked it up and slowly left the clubroom, waving and smiling at us as she did. I turned towards Yukino and began to speak.

"Yukino. What did Yuigahama say to you?" I asked

"She told me to take good care of you until the very end."

With that, I nodded. Yukino and I both knew what that meant. For a while, we just sat there looking at each other. What we'd just done wasn't easy by any means, but it was something that had to be done. Hiratsuka-sensei's last words to me this morning began to ring true. We were all just learning. Finally, Yukino broke the silence.

"So, Hachi-kun. Did we do the right thing?"

"Yes. Whatever happens from here on out, we'll all keep moving forward. You, me, and Yuigahama."

A/N: Hey, guys! Bronze V Lee Sin here! Thanks for all the support and all the feedback up to this point. I wouldn't have imagined this story blowing up as much as it did in the first few days, but it seems to have gotten a lot of attention. I read each and every single review, so to those who point things out and give criticism and make suggestions, thank you! It's kind of hard to hold a story like this together without slipping up here and there. In response to Knightro, I was actually trying to give off the impression that Hachiman was feeling doubtful about Yukino's recourse (and later feelings) at first. It probably should've been a bit more drastic, but nevertheless things didn't pan out as I thought they would. If we wanted to, we could attribute Hachiman's sudden change of heart to the fact that he doesn't have much time left to live (a sudden realization of mortality can easily lead to unforeseen changes in character, behavior, etc). That is a completely legitimate explanation and would make sense given how suddenly everything was happening around him, but at the same time it'd probably be a pretty piss poor excuse on my part. Also, regarding Yukino's confession, I can see where you're coming from and it probably would seem that she was speaking out of pity based on first glance. However, that wasn't what I was going for and it's not something I intend to make a point of. Anyways, I hope it wasn't too bad. Now that I think of it, I probably shouldn't have tried to tackle a behemoth like terminal illness in my first fic, but I'm going through with this one nonetheless. Going into it, I knew that in trying to accomplish as much as I am, I'd be bound to run into some bizarre, OOC behaviors here and there. I can only hope that the ending is as good as I'm imagining it to be. Now that a lot of the tedious work has been done and most of the social drama has taken place, the story is going to shift its focus towards Hachiman's terminal illness and the rest of the fic will be a lot more medically focused. Also, expect a lot more introspection and questioning of beliefs on Hachiman's part. All that being said, Bronze V Lee Sin out! Hikuu!