Chapter 7, Frans story.

I closed the door to the bathroom. And rested my back against it, trying to block out the music and constant chatter from Mackenzie and Logans wedding.

My head was thumping. I looked at the toilet and gave it a flush... It was a weak flushing toilet. Fucksake Sheriden! I thought to myself.

I don't honestly know what had triggered it off, I didn't have any major stresses in my life at the moment, Kendall was amazing, Ophelia is an Angel and even Parker was behaving.

When I first realised things were getting bad in my head again I tried my hardest to make them evaporate. I put all modelling on hold, I stayed away from people that I knew would be bad for me but nothing helped and the purging began. So this toilet that stood in front of me right now was my worst nightmare... It wouldn't flush a dead fly down it, let alone what I wanted to do.

My head started panicking. I didn't want to be here at all.

I gave the door one more listen, I could hear people outside, I turned the tap on for good measure then threw the contents of my stomach up down the toilet.

Instant relief swam over me momentarily, then guilt kicked in. I gave the toilet a flush. I could still see traces of my vomit, so waited a moment then flushed again.

the door handle moved as someone tried to get in, then the door knocked.

"I won't be a minute" I called.

"oh sorry fran, I didn't think anyone was in here" Logan cheerfully called through the door."I'll go upstairs" he then called and walked away.

I checked my appearance in the mirror. I looked like shit! My skin looked awful.

I heard my phone buzz in my purse, I looked at it, it was a text from Kendall 'did you want to go home? X x x ' It said.

Poor Kendall. I put my phone away and washed my hands, I checked the toilet once more and placed a few sheets of tissue down there to cover up any thing that may remain.

I walked back out to the celebrations. I saw Tammi crying, sat on the stairs, she had Mackenzie sat next to her trying to cheer her up, Carlos stood leaning on the fancy looking Bannister listening in to Mackenzie slagging his wife off. It pissed me off.

Logan and Mackenzie got on with me okay, despite that I knew Logan despised me because I wasn't paisley, and Mackenzie now knew I had lied to everyone about savannah using my urine to pass a drugs test to help her cover up the fact that she had slept with James.

I liked savannah, I always had. She was obnoxious and loud, but so what! she was fun. As I looked at Tammi snivelling on the stairs moaning about savannah, I could tell that Carlos was mentally disagreeing with everything he heard.

I bet he was dying to talk to savannah. What he saw in Tammi Taylor I just did not get. But I will remain being polite to everyone.

I walked back out in to the garden, I saw Kendall sat in his usual place of the bench. Ophelia was snoring away in the pushchair.

"hey" I said as I sat next to him.

He smiled at me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"you okay?" He asked taking my hand.

I nodded "I'm sorry, I was doing so well... I just couldn't... I'm so sorry" I said.

"Francesca don't say sorry, we will just try again tomorrow okay... Taking each day at a time... I love you baby" he replied

I gave his hand a squeeze "I love you too... I'm doing better... Parties are just... Shit for someone like me" I said honestly.

"I know... Sheriden knows about... It" he said out of the blue.

"you told her?" I asked, upset.

"no baby, course I didn't... She just knows everything. I told her to drop it and walked away" he said.

"is that why your here?" I said looking up at the pretty tree fountain as it sat in the distance.

"yeah, everyone else is busy chatting so I thought I would chill out here with phee... Under the stars.

I gave kendalls face a stroke with my hand. He seemed tired.

Kendall had always known about my bulimic history. I was very honest with him about all my past when we first got together. he realised that something wasn't right with me about a month ago, my eating habits completely changed and I began obsessing with calories and fat content in any meal I ate.

When he confronted me, I admitted everything from the binging to the purging and even the shameful secrets that I kept on how I did it. He did what most people do and got angry at me, just basically told me to stop fucking about and stop making myself be sick.

I disappeared for three days after that, I wouldn't pick the phone up to him or answer the door, but Kendall wouldn't give up on me. When I did speak to him again he said he was sorry, obviously he had done a bit of homework on the matter and was in a better position to understand what I was going through.

So now Kendall knew what I was doing, he knew he couldn't physically stop me from doing it, but he was helping. I am seeing a professional, and am on the road to recovery, but its a long road. A road I've been down a few times before, but with kendall with me I felt stronger... More in control.

"did you get my text?" Kendall asked.

"yeah I did, but was just on my way out of the bathroom... I'm fine here now, I don't want to go home." I said.

"I hope savannah doesn't come down to make any drama" he said looking at Tammi who was now talking with very exaggerated hand movements to Sheriden in the garden.

"Hmmm I dunno, I kinda hope she does" I replied with a smile.

Kendall looked at me with a dimpled grin "I can't stand savannah, she is such a bitch all the time"

"I like her... She isn't a bitch, she is nice, she just deals with things differently to most people" I replied looking at Tammi again who was now in Carlos' arms as he swayed her from side to side.

"no... I've never got on with her! savannah is rude to me, rude to phee... Fran she is even rude to you" Kendall said laughing

I shrugged "she is just a kid!" I then said watching as Tammi and Carlos said goodbye to the newly weds.

"are you looking forward to your birthday?... I mean with... How things are?" Kendall said about the planned birthday party I was intending to have.

"yeah i am, it will be fine kends, its just drinking and dancing for mine... No buffet in sight like this ridiculousness" I smiled.

"did you wanna go home? I'm not really feeling it tonight" Kendall then said looking at James and Sheriden sharing a kiss.

"stop staring at her... Its a good job I'm not the jealous type isn't it Schmidt!" I chuckled.

"no she pissed me off actually... when she said about you earlier, Like she knows best all the time... Sometimes I wish she would just disappear for a bit. You've got nothing to be jealous about Francesca!" He said kissing my shoulder as he still lay his head against me.

"Kendy... You are going to have an obsession with that girl for as long as you live!" I joked.

Kendall lifted his head up. "you wanna go home and have sex!" He said with a glint his eye.

"yeah okay... I've got to get up early tomorrow though to see Parker do this dumb basketball thing" I replied.

"its not dumb fran, he will end up just as famous as his dad one day" Kendall said.

I sighed, "I guess". Parker had his first under tens basketball game tomorrow. it was a big deal kind of as Nate, Parkers dad was in the NBA. He desperately wanted Parker to follow in his footsteps.

"so do you prefer dating the musicians or the sports personalities?" Kendall said with a grin.

I took his hand in both of mine "musicians are better with their hands" I replied with a smile

"and models are dirty minded, so we make a good team huh?" He said giving my forehead a kiss.

"the best!" I replied.