Northern Constellations
Summary: Explore a year in the life of Joshua Matthews and Maya Hart as they discover the wonders and woes of young parenthood. Joshaya. Post-S3.
Author's Note: This is the Philadelphia chapter you've all been waiting for. Enjoy.
Chapter Seven
Josh knocked twice before thumbing through the keys on his key ring. He had five keys total: a house key, another for the shed in the backyard and two spares for his brothers' apartments. They all looked relatively similar, but he knew that he would get it eventually. After waiting a few short moments, he inserted the right key and opened the door. It swung open with an eerie creak, and Josh took in a deep breath.
"Ma?" Josh called as they entered the house. He shut and locked the door behind them. Afterward, he set his keys on one of the little decorative tables pushed up against the wall, and looked around. "Anyone home?"
No one responded, and the silence was overwhelming. He couldn't remember a time when his house felt so dead. Even though his parents were a bit older than most, their home had always been active and lively. It still looked like home—with the same outdated furniture and blue drapes—but it didn't quite feel like it.
"Her car was parked out front," Josh said with a shrug as he placed their bags at the base of the stairwell. "Maybe she went out with my dad or one of her old co-workers. I think they go out for lunch sometimes."
"Did I hear someone say lunch?" someone chirped from upstairs—the voice was unfamiliar to Maya but all too familiar to Josh—and the older boy groaned as her footsteps got closer. Way to go, Morgan, he thought. "I missed you, baby brother."
"I missed you too, Morgan," Josh rolled his eyes as the older woman rushed to give him a hug. She ran a hand through his hair and pet him like a puppy. Morgan Matthews was a force to be reckoned with. She was pushing thirty-something, single, educated and employed. She was a free, independent spirit, and he envied that. "Mom didn't tell me that you were coming home this weekend. I thought you had work."
"That's funny because mom didn't tell me that you were coming home this weekend either," Morgan replied, noticing the other blonde in the room. "I have business in the area, and I'd rather sleep in my own bed than waste money on a hotel room for a couple of nights. And Maya? It's so good to see you again. You're...glowing."
"Thanks, I guess?"
"It's a compliment," Morgan reassured, combing through her damp hair with her fingertips. From the looks of it, she was fresh out of the shower. "Don't worry. Now where are my favorite niece and nephew?"
"It's just us this time," Josh answered for Maya. Morgan knew just as much about their predicament as his parents. He didn't intend on meeting up with his older sister so soon, so he would have to kill two birds with one stone this week. "Me and Maya."
"You and Maya?" Morgan asked skeptically, looking back and forth between the two. Something strange was going on, and she wanted to get to the bottom of it. "I see. Are you two together now?"
"That is correct," Josh said, giving a quaint nod. Maya's heart skipped a beat. Hearing him openly admit to their relationship to someone as important as his big sister felt so unreal. "It happened pretty fast, but we're happy."
"And let me guess: mom and dad don't know about this yet?" Morgan continued, her Veronica Mars complex kicking in. "You could've told them over the phone, dummy. It's not like you have to bring her home to meet them. Mom and dad already love Maya."
"There's more to it," Josh trailed off, chewing at the sides of his cheeks. "Actually there's a lot more to it than that."
"Uh oh," Morgan teased, leaning up against the railing of the steps. "What kind of trouble did you guys get yourself into this time? Maya's pregnant? You two eloped? Shawn is a pretty progressive parent. I can definitely see him giving consent."
"We aren't married," Maya interjected, chuckling nervously. She had always known of Morgan, but she never really knew her. "But we are...going to have a kid pretty soon."
"Josh?" Morgan exasperated, eyeing her brother expectantly. "What did I tel l you about always wrapping up? And Maya's like fifteen. You guys are kids."
"I'm sixteen," Maya offered as if it made the situation any better. "We really didn't plan on this happening. It just did, and now we're dealing with it as best as we can."
"Well I'm disappointed," Morgan said uncomfortable, grimacing at the thought of her baby brother being intimate with the little girl who once destroyed their neighbor's garden. They were still babies in her eyes. "But I can't say that I'm surprised."
"What do you mean by that?" Josh asked.
"You're mom's baby," Morgan explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "She doesn't have favorites obviously, but if she did, it would be you. You were bound to rebel. Good luck, Joshie. You're really going to need it."
"Gee thanks, Morgan," Josh said, rolling his eyes. It was true. He was Amy's miracle baby. She never really let that go. "Speaking of mom, where's she at? Her car's parked outside."
"I let her take my car to go grocery shopping," Morgan answered, checking the time on her phone. "That was around twelve-ish so you guys just missed her. She'll probably be gone for another hour, so that gives me enough time to put some makeup on and pick up a nice little bottle of Chardonnay because God knows how much we'll be needing that tonight."
"Your sister is intense," Maya commented as they settled into Josh's childhood bedroom. It was minimalist and lacked a personal touch, but it was still comfortable.
"Tell me about it," Josh sighed, lying on his back with his hands behind his head. Morgan was something else, but she was still his big sister. It was her job to boss him around and excessively worry. "It's all out of love though. She means well."
"Do you think you'll ever want more kids?" Maya asked, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. It was around the same size as her bed at home: a full or a queen. "I didn't mean soon...I meant in the future, you know, when we're actually ready."
"If this is your way of subtly asking me to father all of your kids, then the answer is yes," Josh smirked, turning to head to look at the blonde. Maya raised an eyebrow at him and shook her head. His boyish charm was one of the reasons she fell in love with him. It made her weak at the knees. "But to answer your question, I do want to have more kids in the future. We're embarking on this whole new adventure—you, me and baby—it isn't going to be easy, but we're going to love the hell out of her. I just hope that the next one will be born into better circumstances."
"Like what?"
"There'll come a day when we both finish school," Josh answered. "I'll start my career, we'll find a place of our own, maybe get married. All good stuff."
"If that's your way of asking me if I want to get married, then the answer is yes," Maya teased. "I'm kidding—not really—but I feel the same. As crazy as it might sound, I kind of really want to be a mom right now, but I hope that we'll have a little bit more to offer for the next one."
"We'll make it someday," Josh said confidently.
"You think so?"
"I know so. Now come here," Josh added, inviting Maya to lie down with him. She obliged. Josh wrapped an arm around Maya, and within moments, they fell asleep.
"Morgan?" Amy Matthews called, opening the front door with an armful of groceries. "Can you take this to the kitchen?"
"Of course, mom," Morgan answered immediately, placing her glass of wine on an accent table. It was two-thirty in the afternoon, and she had just made it back home from the new Fine Wine Good Spirits that had opened up nearby. Josh and Maya were still asleep, so she took it upon herself to pop open the bottle and start her night early. It was going to be a long one anyways.
"Here let me grab that," Morgan offered, rushing to her mother's aid. She carried the bag to the kitchen, and then went to the porch to retrieve a few more paper bags until both women found themselves putting away the groceries inside. When they finished, Morgan went to retrieve her empty of Chardonnay and its pristine bottle.
"You're drinking already?" Amy Matthews asked, narrowing an eyebrow at her only daughter. "This early? I haven't even started dinner yet."
"Relax," Morgan began, slyly pulling out another glass from the cupboard behind her. "I'm not an alcoholic. It's nice to wind down sometimes. I'll pour a little bit for you, and we can make dinner together like how we used to."
"Thanks, honey," Amy expressed with her back pressed against the sink. She wasn't too keen on the idea of drinking, but she rarely saw her daughter anymore and she could use all the help she could get. "Where's your brother?"
"He's, um, sleeping, I think," Morgan tried to explain as she began to pour her mother a drink. Both Josh and Maya were asleep in his room the last time she checked. "He made it in maybe ten minutes after you left for Trader Joe's."
"Should I wake him up?" Amy asked, excited to reunite with her son. Even at nineteen-years-old, Joshua Matthews was still very much her baby.
"Not yet," Morgan said a little too quickly, deciding in that moment to fill Amy's glass to the brim. She needed it the most. "Let him sleep until dad gets home. That way we can all eat."
Morgan sighed. Even though her mother was a simple woman, there was still a chance that their night would end up in flames.
Around four o'clock, Morgan knocked on her little brother's door insistently. She knew that it was unlocked because Josh had lost his 'lock' privileges indefinitely when he snuck over an ex-girlfriend when he was fourteen, but it was still polite to knock.
Moments later, Josh cracked open the door in a disheveled state. His hair was a mess and his shirt was a little wrinkled from his awkward positioning on the bed.
"You guys up?" Morgan asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly at her little brother. "Dad's in the shower, and mom and I made pasta—your favorite—so I think now's the time for you to face the music."
"Yeah?" Josh gulped, looking back at Maya who was still sprawled out on the bed. "We'll be down in a couple of minutes. Did you tell mom that I brought Maya?"
"I didn't say anything about Maya," Morgan assured. "I got mom a little bit tipsy when we were cooking, so that might make things a little better..."
"Or worse," Josh corrected, his head starting to ache. His mother rarely drank. He couldn't recall the last time he had ever seen her drunk. "And dad?"
"Well he noticed a new pair of shoes at the front door, but that's about it," Morgan answered, shrugging her shoulders as if it were no big deal. "I'm pretty sure dad thinks that they're mine even though he knows that I haven't worn a pair of converse since high school, you know, because you threw up on my favorite pair when I took you to that stupid carnival and you got sick on the teacups. Anyways, hurry up and come downstairs because I'm starving and you need to get your shit together."
"I don't want to sound ungrateful, but why are you helping me?"
"You're my little brother, Josh," Morgan explained, rolling her eyes. "You were basically my baby. Yeah, we get on each others nerves all of the time and I only see you on holidays now because we're grown, but as a big sister, it's my job to look out for you. Never forget that."
"Mom? Dad?" Josh called as he walked down the stairs, careful with each step. Maya followed shortly behind. It truly felt weird to be home again. He hadn't seen his mom and dad since Topanga turned down her firm's international partnership months prior. With school and the baby on his plate, Josh barely had any time to himself, let alone time to to take a road trip, so he knew that his mother wouldn't take his presence lightly.
"My baby!" Amy Matthews beamed, opening her arms at the sight of her youngest, her actual baby. Josh accepted her embrace and was instantly reminded of how warm his mother made him feel. The love of a parent was a crazy thing. "Oh, just look at you. Alan, look at how handsome your boy's getting."
"Looking more and more like me each day," Alan poked fun at the mother-son duo and grinned. "Not too sure about your brothers though."
Morgan snorted. "I can't believe that you guys used to think Eric was the cute one. Obviously Josh and I inherited all of your good looks."
"What about Cory?" Amy asked, narrowing her eyes at her only daughter.
"Cory who?" Morgan teased. "What? I'm kidding."
"Oh—and Maya!" Amy exclaimed as soon as the young blonde came into vision. In all honesty, Maya Hart was the last person she'd expect to see in her living room on a random Saturday evening. If she had known that there would be other guests, she would've prepared accordingly. "It's always nice seeing you, honey. Josh didn't tell me that you were tagging along."
"It's a surprise," Josh interjected, suddenly feeling all four pairs of eyes on him. Maya looked at Josh expectedly. She hoped that he'd have something better to say. "Maya and I have been meaning to stop by for a while, mom."
"Now why's that?" Alan questioned. He could read his son like an open book. It was too easy.
"It's a long story," Josh answered truthfully, turning toward Maya. "But we can talk about that after we eat. Morgan said mom made pasta."
"Well that's fine by me," Alan said, nodding in approval. "I guess we should eat then. Maya, you hungry?"
"Just a little bit," Maya replied, forcing herself to smile. Amy and Alan weren't strangers, so she wasn't sure why she felt so awkward. "Thanks Mr. Matthews."
"Great," Alan chirped. "Morgan will set a plate for you at the table. You're always welcome here, ya know."
"Already did, dad," Morgan said, earning a confused look from her mother. She couldn't believe that Morgan didn't say anything sooner.
"Alright, let's eat," Amy said as they walked into the kitchen. She had so many questions, but they could wait a while.
"Thank you for the food, Mrs. Matthews," Maya said politely after they finished eating. She typically preferred Spaghetti over Fettuccini Alfredo, but the creamy cheese sauce tasted like heaven in her mouth. "Morgan, you too. It was delicious."
"You're welcome," Amy Matthews smiled back, plate in hand about to make her way to the sink. "I'm glad you liked it."
"I'm surprised you ate so much," Josh commented, nudging Maya with his shoulder. "For the past few weeks, it's just been pizza and hot wings."
"Don't forget celery with ranch," Maya added, her mouth watering at the thought of a plate of hot wings, celery and ranch. She always pictured herself having odd cravings, but her desired foods were quite good.
"That too," Josh agreed, getting up to place his plate in the sink as well. Before Josh and Amy left the table, Morgan shot up.
"You know what?" Morgan proposed, feigning a look of thoughtfulness. "I'll get that. I think I'll do the dishes tonight, mom. You wanna tbop off your glass so I can get rid of the bottle while I'm at it?"
"Sure, sweetheart," Amy accepted her daughter's offer. Although she preferred red wine over white, she had grown accustomed to the taste of Morgan's drugstore priced Chardonnay. "And thanks."
"You're welcome," Morgan smiled before making eye contact with her little brother. Her eyes widened as if to indicate that now was the time. "After all, I'm a guest. Josh?"
"Um, yeah," Josh coughed into his sleeve. He glanced at Maya for a brief moment, and then looked back up at his older sister. "I'll make lunch and do the dishes tomorrow…or I could just take you guys out. You know, Maya's never had an authentic Cheesesteak before.
"That actually sounds really good right now," Maya thought aloud, musing to herself, earning a tiny giggle from Morgan.
"Remember that old food truck down the street from John Adams? You should take her there tomorrow," Morgan trailed off, collecting all of the fine china and silverware. "Their sandwiches are divine."
Josh nodded, and with that, Morgan turned on her heels and walked to the kitchen sink to wash all of the dishes, thus leaving four at the table. All was silent. Amy sipped away at her drink, feeling quite tired after her meal, and Alan sat with his elbows rested on the table, quietly observing his young son and his female companion.
"So how's school been, Maya?" Alan Matthews asked, breaking the silence at the table. The original Mr. Matthews was a nice guy. She liked him a lot, but he just seemed intimidating at the moment. "Yesterday was your last day, right?"
"It was," Maya nodded, twiddling her thumbs underneath the table. Josh caught on and placed a hand above her knee for comfort. "And school has been fine. My grades are a lot better than they used to be, and I'm passing for once. Mr. Matthews—Cory—suggested that I take honors history with Riles next year."
"That's great," Amy smiled. She cared deeply for her granddaughter's best friend. Maya Hart had been around for years, but it seemed as though she needed to take an even greater interest in the girl. If she didn't already know before, it was obvious that she had won over her son's heart. "How are your parents? We haven't heard from Shawn in a while."
"They're doing alright," Maya answered truthfully. Shawn and Katy were still very much in love and their home was definitely a happy one, but things were a little different now. They were about to become grandparents. "My mom came back from filming not too long ago, and everything has been pretty good at home. Shawn's planning on taking her upstate next weekend to get away from all of the craziness."
"Craziness?" Alan questioned, narrowing his eyes at the young woman. He wondered what she meant by that. "Life can't be that bad. Aren't you guys in that fancy little apartment now?"
"Life isn't bad," Maya explained. "Far from it actually, but we're just trying to make sense of things. And yeah, we moved into the new apartment. It isn't fancy fancy, but it's a lot nicer than what I'm used to."
"I imagine that it's a lot nicer than Shawn's cabin in the woods," Amy added, taking one final sip of her alcoholic beverage. "He sent us pictures when he bought it. Tried to talk him out of it, but he just wouldn't budge."
"You guys should come check out our new apartment whenever you visit Manhattan," Maya offered hopefully. She pictured them coming up to visit a lot more when their granddaughter is born. "Shawn would love that, and it's practically walking distance from Riles' place and the bakery."
"We will be sure to stop by, honey," Amy said, setting down her glass. Amy Matthews was so nice. Maya sincerely hoped that she wouldn't hate her once they dropped the bomb. She didn't want to be known as the person who ruined her son's life.
"Maya?" Josh whispered, taking her hand in hers. "You okay?"
Maya nodded, translating his 'you okay? to 'are you ready?' At this point in their relationship, she swore that she knew him better than anyone else.
"So like I said before, Maya and I have been meaning to come see you guys for a while," Josh began, pausing to decipher the looks on his parents' faces. They were impossible to read, and Josh heard a clatter in the kitchen. Morgan must've dropped a dish in anticipation of the events that were about to unfold.
"What's going on, son?" Alan asked, putting an emphasis on 'son' and Josh cringed inwardly. He loved his parents. He couldn't have asked for a better mom and dad. A part of him knew that he should've said something sooner, but everything had felt so surreal and they were going at their own pace.
"I'm in love with Maya," Josh continued. Maya felt her heart race. She wasn't expecting that especially in front of his parents, but it was a good start.
"Tell us something that we don't know," Amy exasperated, poking fun at her baby boy. This earned a laugh from Morgan, eavesdropping from the kitchen sink. "Josh, we've known since you were twelve years old. It's not a huge secret."
"So what?" Alan asked, yawning. "You guys are in a relationship now?"
"Yes," Josh said with absolute certainty. Maya didn't object. They knew how each other felt. It was all love, but they didn't go as far as defining the relationship yet. "But that's not what we came here to discuss."
"What's going on?" Amy asked, suddenly feeling uneasy. "Are you guys okay?"
"We're fine, mom," Josh reassured her. He shut his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath, and Maya decided that it was her turn to speak up.
"I'm really sorry," Maya cut in, earning a confused look from Josh. "You guys are probably gonna hate me after this, and I can promise you that Josh wanted to tell you guys the moment he found out, but I told him not to because I've been taking things way too soon. I'm so sorry."
"Maya, honey, calm down," Amy furrowed an eyebrow at the girl. Maya was like another granddaughter in a way, and it was awful to see her in hysterics. "What are you talking about?"
"Maya's pregnant, mom," Josh explained, clearing the air. Telling his parents felt a whole lot worse than telling her own. At the end of the day, she knew that Shawn and Katy would love her unconditionally. Amy and Alan? They only knew her as their granddaughter's childhood best friend.
"I'm sorry," Maya said weakly.
"Don't apologize," Josh sighed. Her apologizing like that was so out of character, but he blamed it on hormones. "Literally none of this is your fault, Maya. No one blames you, especially not me."
"Okay, wow," Amy choked up a bit. "When did this happen?"
"January," Josh answered, taking responsibility for their actions. It was June. She was five months along now, more than halfway there. "Found out a couple months ago."
"Months, Josh?" Alan exclaimed. He raised his voice slightly. Maya wasn't sure if he was angry or just taken by surprise. "Why in the hell didn't you tell us when you found out?"
"I asked him not to say anything," Maya answered for him, quick to defend the man who would do the exact same for her. "I just needed time."
"There isn't such thing as infinite time when you're pregnant, Maya," Amy frowned, trying her best not to cry in front of everyone. She wasn't really sure how to feel. She saw Josh as her baby for so long and now he was coming to her as a man. "How long have you known?"
"Since March," Maya breathed out. Had it really been that long since she found out? She looked back on all of the countless days she spent ill, hunched over toilet seats, worrying her best friend to death. She looked back on the tender moments she shared with Shawn—her dad—and the anxiety that built in the weeks leading up to her mom's return. She looked back on the sleepless nights she spent falling in love with the man sitting next to her. She looked back on all of the crying and the laughter—all of the friendship and love—had it really been that long?
"So you're well into your second trimester?" Amy pried, wiping a stray tear away from her eyes. "Do you know if it's a..."
"Girl," Maya said, louder than a whisper but not quite as audible for Morgan to hear over the sound of the faucet. "We're going to have a daughter."
"That's so wow," Amy expressed at a loss for words. She just didn't know what to say. She was absolutely devastated. She wanted to yell and reprimand her son for his actions—his actions that resulted in such a dire consequence—but at the same time, she felt happy and sad all at once. Her baby boy was finally growing up, and she knew that it was time to let go. "Another granddaughter?"
"We're expecting her sometime in October," Maya added. She wouldn't have pictured her saying that ever, but times were changing. This was her life nowaday. "I would love for you to be a part of her life, ya know, since you're her grandmother and all."
Amy nodded but remained silent, and Alan gritted his teeth together. It was obvious that he had something to say.
"I know that you guys are mad..."
"Mad is an understatement, Josh," Alan shot back, keeping his demeanor calm. "We're furious. Furious that you would be so irresponsible but even more so because you kept this from us for so long."
"We're your parents," Amy sighed, feeling tension build at the back of her skull. Now wasn't the time for a headache. "But I guess you'll understand what that means when you become a parent yourself."
"I'm sorry..."
"You're an adult," Alan cut him off. "We've always treated you like one. Don't apologize for the decisions that you make because sorry won't change anything. The only thing you can do now is own up and take responsibility."
"That's exactly what I'm doing, dad," Josh explained. That was his plan from the very beginning. He vowed to own up for their slip up and take responsibility. "I'm coming to you—as a man—to tell you that you're going to be a grandfather again. Are the circumstances ideal? No."
"Did we plan this?" Josh continued. "Of course not, but I am taking responsibility for what happened."
"Ya know, I expected this from Eric or Cory," Alan went on, ranting more so than anything. "But never from you. They're idiots. You're the smart one."
"Alan," Amy chastised.
"What?" Alan countered. "It's the truth."
"Alan."
"Fine," Alan huffed, coming to a realization that their exchange seemed comical. "But you get where I'm coming from, right?"
"Of course I do," Amy sighed. "He's our son. We raised him well. I'm disappointed beyond belief."
"Mom..."
"But that doesn't change my love for you," Amy interjected. "It doesn't change how I feel about Maya either. I love both of you, and I'm gonna love the hell out of my grandkid."
"None of you were planned," Amy added, looking at the young couple sympathetically. "Not you, not Morgan, not Cory and definitely not Eric...but I love all of you, and you guys became my world. I have two oddball sons, a little bird that keeps flying back to the nest to drink wine on my couch and a baby I almost lost. It's not easy being a parent, but it's a life I wouldn't trade for the world."
"She's right," Alan said, his tone a lot softer than before. "And as parents, all we want is for our kids to live good lives. We've succeeded so far. Eric—our Eric—is an actual senator. Cory married Topanga and made a life for himself. Morgan's travelled the world. And you—Josh—earned that big scholarship at NYU. We don't have to pay a dime out of pocket for you to get an education. I think we did a pretty damn good job at raising all four of you."
"This isn't how I pictured your first year of college," Alan said truthfully. "This isn't how your mom pictured things either, but if you're serious about manning up and taking responsibility...I have no reason to argue with you. Be the man we raised you to be."
"I will," Josh professed wholeheartedly. "I can promise you that I will be."
"Now that that is over with," Amy began, scooting her chair away from the table. She looked like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. "I think I need a cigarette. Maya, Josh, I love you. If you ever need anything, I'm here."
"Wait," Josh called out as his mother walked away from the table. "Ma you don't even smoke."
"You're right," Amy shrugged, making her way toward the back door. "I don't smoke, but Morgan does."
"Jesus Christ," Alan groaned. "Look what you did, Josh. You broke your mother. Go talk to her."
So Josh followed...and that's exactly what he did.
"How did things go with your mom?" Maya asked over an hour and a half later when Josh returned to the room. In the time they spent apart, Maya color coordinated the remaining clothes in his closet, raided his desk drawers—which were surprisingly empty aside from an unopened box of condoms, a few miscellaneous trinkets and the better half of a partially eaten twix bar—and took a warm shower to kick start her night. "Did she bite your head off?"
"Not exactly," Josh said ambiguously, taking a seat at the edge of his bed. He sank down, and Maya moved closer to him. "She cried for a little bit and we just sat together for a while."
"Do you think she'll be okay?"
Josh nodded. "I mean she's fine now. This is just a lot to take in at once. My siblings are old. They've been out of the house for a really long time, and I'm just starting out. It's kinda hard for her to see me grow up. Did you know that I almost died once?"
"It's been mentioned before," Maya trailed off, hoping that he would elaborate. She didn't know the exact details—of course—but she heard stories about his birth.
"Well, I was born premature," Josh explained, taking her hand in his for what seemed to be the hundredth time of the day. "Two months early—or something like that—and I contracted this nasty respiratory infection. Couldn't even leave the hospital. I was this close to not making it, but I did anyways. That's one of the reasons why my mom still thinks of me as her baby."
"Because you almost weren't?"
"Pretty much," Josh sighed as Maya rested her head on his shoulder. It felt so good to be close. They were both starved of physical contact. "As depressing as that sounds. Is that my shirt?"
"It is your shirt, genius. How could you tell?" Maya teased, looking down on the band tee she had pulled from his closet. It was white and had a large image of a sun printed on the front. It even fit big over her slightly swollen stomach. That's one of the reasons why she liked it so much.
"You don't even like Sublime," Josh said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She knew that he was joking, but his words held some truth in them. She would never admit to it, but she'd rather listen to bluegrass than ska any day. "I'm pretty sure we've talked about this before, and the only song that you know is Santeria. I have a Joy Division shirt in here somewhere. You can have that one. I know how much you love the classics."
"You don't know how much I love you," Maya said dreamily, suddenly feeling like the naïve little girl she had been at the Ski Lodge. "I mean...yeah. I do love the classics. You do know me. But I want this one."
"But why?" Josh egged her on. He honestly didn't care. She could take all of his clothes if she felt inclined to. Seeing her in his clothes really did something to him. "You're always preaching about how people shouldn't wear band shirts for bands that they don't listen to."
"It is my biggest pet peeve in life," Maya cringed. "Doesn't it bother you when you see someone in a Stones shirt, and when you ask them what their favorite song is they can't name a single one?"
"It actually doesn't bother me all that much," Josh replied, earning an annoyed look from the blonde. "But that's my point exactly. Why go for Sublime when you can go for Joy Division?"
"I want this one because it's yours," Maya shrugged, tugging at the bottom hem of the shirt with her free hand. "You like Sublime and I like you. That's gotta compensate for something."
"You really are something else," Josh teased, kissing the top of her head. It had been a stressful day and a stressful few months, but the moments they spent together made it all worthwhile. "I wonder if the baby is gonna be like you."
"I hope not," Maya said impulsively. She didn't intend on sounding snappy. "I hope that she's better than me."
"If you say so, but I hope that she's snarky and creative and funny and kind just like her mother."
"We've gotta think of a name," Maya blurted out. It had been on her mind for a while. They discussed names in the past—Stone, Sidney and Manson—but now they were having a little girl. "I'm getting kinda tired of referring to her as baby."
"You're right," Josh agreed. It had been on his mind for quite some time as well. "We can't keep calling her Baby Matthews for all eternity. She needs a name. What did you have in mind? Nathalie? Riley said something about that."
Maya shrugged. "I do like that name. I like it a lot, but it doesn't really fit. I'm back to square one honestly. I didn't plan on having a daughter."
"We didn't plan on having a baby period," Josh chuckled softly. "I get what you're saying though. Manson Matthews would've been a cool little dude."
"You get me," Maya mused. Manson Matthews? It was classic. "We never talked about any girl names that you like."
"I honestly don't even care what you name her," Josh expressed, exhaling a long breath. "It just means a lot to me that you'd give her my last name."
"You're her dad," Maya said at an instant. "I entertained the idea of Hart-Matthews in the beginning, but she's a Matthews through and through. Now what do you have in mind?"
"Bernice?"
"We are not naming our daughter Bernice. Where did that even come from?"
"My grandma's name was Bernice."
"Was? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"It's fine. I loved her to death, but she was kind of a nut. Bernice is a little old fashioned now that I think about it."
"What else do you like?"
"Melissa?"
"Riley and I knew a Melissa in middle school. Everyone called her Missy. She was the biggest bi..."
"Did I say Melissa? I meant Kennedy."
"Melissa and Kennedy don't even sound alike, but I'll think about it. Kennedy Matthews doesn't seem that bad."
"Elizabeth?"
"I know one too many girls named Elizabeth at school. It's almost as popular as Hannah."
"Alright, I have a good one," Josh snapped his fingers, recovering from his past rejections. "Aurora."
"Aurora?"
"Yes Aurora."
"Like the Aurora Borealis?" Maya questioned skeptically. She was reminded of her childhood.
"Exactly like the Aurora Borealis. I remember you telling me about a storm. You were scared..."
"And my mom came into my room to comfort me. She ended up making it a game. We were gold miners in Alaska, and the lighting was the Northern Lights. You remembered."
"How could I forget? You spoke so fondly of that night and your mom. I like Aurora. It's pretty, kind of like a princess name."
"It is a princess name, Josh."
"But that's not why I suggested it. After hearing that story, Aurora makes me think about how easily you can turn the scariest circumstance into something beautiful with a little bit of love. That's exactly what this pregnancy has been for us. So how do you feel?"
"About you or about the name?"
"I was talking about the name, but you're free to answer both."
"Well I love you and baby Aurora. Always have, Matthews."
"Aurora Matthews?" Josh thought aloud trying to get a feel for it. It flowed. The name meant something for the both of them, just like the little life they helped create.
"Aurora Matthews," Maya said after him, placing a hand to her stomach.
Maybe things were going to be alright after all.
"How would you feel about going to a party tonight?" Josh asked, taking his eyes off of the brightened screen of his cellphone to look up at Maya. It was eleven at night, and they were sitting in the kitchen in front of bowls of cereal, scrolling aimlessly through their explore pages and timelines, when Josh received a cryptic text.
"A party?" Maya repeated. "Josh, I'm pregnant. I am literally the last person anyone would want to be at their party."
"It's not that kind of a party," Josh reassured her although he wasn't quite sure himself. "There might be a little bit of alcohol, but I'm not drinking. I haven't seen my friends in a really long time. I want them to meet you."
"But it's late," Maya pouted, feeling so unlike her younger self. She could vividly remember sneaking into a college party at fourteen-years-old just to tell Josh about how she felt. "We'll be here for another three days, can't I meet them another time?"
"You can," Josh nodded. "But this would be an opportunity to meet everyone all at once and get it out of the way."
"You really wanna go to this party. Don't you, boing?"
"It's just been a while..."
"Then go!" Maya laughed.
"I don't want to leave you here by yourself," Josh began before she cut him off.
"I'm not alone," Maya shrugged, she was indifferent to the idea of him going to a party without him. She didn't care as long as he came home at the end of the day. "Morgan's in the living room watching something on TV. Your parents are sleeping upstairs. If I get too lonely, I'll go bother Feeny."
"Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"I can promise you that I will be perfectly fine."
Even though she played an important role in his life, she refused to control his actions. It was his life. As long as he stayed true to the man his parents raised him to be, everything would be just fine.
"How does it feel?" Morgan questioned, her curiosity getting the best of her. Morgan and Maya sat on opposite ends of the couch, curled up next to a pillow of their choice and two plush throw blankets.
"How does what feel?" Maya asked, biting into a popcorn kernel. She wasn't quite sure what the other blonde was asking about. Maya felt a lot of things. Morgan needed to be more specific.
"Being pregnant," Morgan clarified as she dug her hand into the plastic bowl full of popcorn set in between them. She pulled out a handful of popcorn and placed all ten pieces in her lap. "How does it feel to be pregnant? I've always wondered."
"It's different," Maya tried to explain. She couldn't really put it into words, but she would try her best for the sake of the question. "I don't know. My body doesn't really feel like my body anymore, but that's not a bad thing. I kinda feel like I have more of a purpose if that makes any sense."
"It does," Morgan sighed. She had always wanted to be a mother, but apparently that life wasn't meant for her. So she worked her ass off instead.
"Do you want kids someday?"
"I do," Morgan answered, looking down at her lap. Four more popcorn. She suddenly wanted to crush them all. "But I can't."
"You can't?"
"I'm infertile," Morgan said, her honesty surprising even herself. It wasn't something that was really out in the open. "Found out when me and my ex-fiance couldn't conceive. It's one of the reasons why we split."
Maya frowned. She hardly knew Morgan, but here they were, talking as if they had known each other forever. "Oh I'm sorry..."
"Don't worry about it," Morgan said quickly, trying to air out the gloominess that had fallen between the two. "He was a shitty person anyways. I'm happier now, and maybe one day I'll try to adopt. Who knows."
"You're welcome to borrow my kid anytime," Maya offered sympathetically. She was half-joking, but Morgan was practically family now. "You might just be her favorite aunt."
"What about Riley?" Morgan teased, thinking about how close the blonde and the brunette were. Of course Riley would be Aurora's favorite aunt. It only made sense.
"Riley can be her favorite cousin," Maya laughed, shaking her head at how strange that sounded coming from her mouth. She was really having a baby with her best friend's uncle. How odd. After this light exchange, Morgan and Maya fell into a comfortable silence until Maya's phone started to go off. Maya leaned over her lap to get a better glance at her phone that was set atop the coffee table. She read them one by one: notification after notification after notification after notification. None of them were hers, so she didn't feel right looking at them.
"You gonna answer those?" Morgan asked, narrowing her eyes at the phone.
"They're notifications for Josh's instagram," Maya shrugged. He had logged into his account on her phone and asked her not to log out. She respected his privacy enough to stay off of his account. They didn't keep secrets from each other. "Not gonna read them."
"You never feel tempted to?"
"Sometimes, but I try not to look into any of it."
"Well can I? He's my little brother. I wanna snoop."
"Go ahead," Maya shrugged, picking up her phone from the table. She typed in her passcode and handed it to Morgan. "I don't really care."
"You really are my new favorite sister-in-law," Morgan said as she began to lurk through his account. "Uh oh."
"Uh oh?"
"Yeah uh oh."
"What do you mean by uh oh, Morgan? You can't just leave me hanging like that. What did you see?"
"It's nothing," Morgan said quickly, failing to cover her tracks. The older blonde grimaced. It was obvious that she saw something she wasn't supposed to.
"I'm pretty sure it's something."
"Nope. I am pretty sure that it isn't."
"Just give me my phone, Morgan," Maya demanded. She couldn't believe that she was arguing with a grown woman about a cellphone.
"You asked for it," Morgan frowned, handing the thin device back to the younger girl. Maya analyzed the content pulled up on her phone immediately.
"Holy Regina George," Maya said with her mouth left agape. The notifications were for pictures that Josh had been recently tagged in. They were all from a girl named Charlotte Stemmer. She was a beautiful blonde girl with the most vibrant highlight she had ever seen. "Who is that?"
In the first photo set Josh was tagged in, they sat next to each other in a group picture in what seemed to be someone's garage. Josh held a red solo cup in his hands—so much for not drinking—and the blonde girl wore a shit eating grin on her face. The second photo was a candid shot of Josh talking animatedly to a young couple, and the third one made Maya sick. It was a picture of Josh and the girl, Charlotte, by themselves, and they looked so happy.
Maya was arguably not.
"Josh never told you about Charlotte?"
"This is the first I've ever heard of her."
"She was his first girlfriend," Morgan explained, adjusting herself on the couch to face the younger girl. "They were on-and-off throughout all of high school. She was a lot more serious about the relationship than he was. By a lot, I mean a lot."
"And?" Maya pressed, hoping for some peace of mind. So far she had none. This Charlotte girl was making her feel queasy.
"Eventually Josh realized that their relationship wasn't going to work long-term—like she wanted—and he broke up with her," Morgan continued. "Josh told me that she didn't take the breakup very well. That's why I was surprised to see her posting pictures like that."
"Maybe she still loves him."
"That might be the case," Morgan agreed, pulling her blanket up to her neck. "It's impossible not to love that idiot, but it doesn't matter anymore."
"Why not?"
"Because he loves you."
Maya stepped outside moments later for a breath of fresh air. She wandered into the backyard and sighed. This was a place where she had so many fond memories. The handful of road trips she went on to Philadelphia really made her feel like a part time of the family.
She could vividly recall meeting the love of her life here—or so she hoped that's she could call him—with her arms full of uprooted pink peonies and her face smeared with dirt. That was nine-years-ago, and Maya couldn't believe that they had known each other for that long.
As soon as the lights were out for the night, seven-year-old Maya Hart snuck out of the room she shared with her best friend, Riley, and made her way downstairs. It was spring break, and instead of being left to wander all of New York City by herself during break, Cory and Topanga offered to take her on their trip to Philadelphia. Katy Hart agreed, rationalizing that her daughter would be better off with the all-American family instead of being alone while she pulled off long shifts at the diner. It was Maya's first trip out-of-state, and it was all so fascinating. Although Pennsylvania wasn't too far away from New York, it felt like an adventure. Every day she spent with the Matthews family was a new adventure.
Riley Matthews had been her best friend for a little over a year. They were the complete package deal. Wherever Riley went, Maya followed. And whenever you saw Maya, you could count on Riley not being too far behind. They were good together. It was almost as if they were meant to be sisters
When they arrived at the elder Matthews' home earlier in the evening, Riley made a mad dash for the neighbor's backyard. Maya followed—of course—because someone had to protect the tiny brunette from herself. Riley was a klutz. The two girls were left in awe over what they saw: a pretty little spring garden far from their flowery yet chaotic fire escapes.
New York City was awesome. Both Riley and Maya couldn't have asked for a better place to call their home, but there was something about this little Philadelphia suburb that they loved so much. Amy and Alan's house was cute. It was huge compared to Maya's little apartment, and it was more homely than Riley's brownstone. Plus there was an actual yard to play in and a grumpy old neighbor who grew pretty flowers that made Riley feel like she was a fairy...and because Riley loved them so much, Maya promised that she would pick one or two.
So that's exactly what she did as soon as everyone fell asleep...except she didn't just pick two, she pulled out the entire bushel.
And everything would've been fine if it hadn't been for some strange little boy who hopped over the fence.
"I didn't know Feeny had a granddaughter," the boy mused, straightening his clothes from his brief drop. "Guess you learn something new everyday."
"I'm not Mr. Feeny's granddaughter," Maya corrected the older boy, wiping away some of the dirt away from her chin self-consciously with the collar of her shirt. "My name is Maya. Maya Hart. And you are?"
"Let's start over then," the boy proposed, extending one of his hands for her to shake before realizing that both of hers were occupied. "Hi Maya. I'm Josh. You gonna tell me what you're doing here or do you want me to wake up the beast?"
"I could say the same to you, boing," Maya retorted, trying her best to think of an insult on the spot. These things usually came easy to her, but for some reason she couldn't think of anything. She wasn't quite sure where 'boing' came from, but it felt like more of a pet name than an insult. "What are you doing here?"
"I asked you first," Josh said pointedly before giving in. "I live next door."
"I'm visiting next door."
"Oh, so you're that Mia? I'm Cory's little brother. Sorry we didn't get to meet earlier. I was staying at my friend's house a few blocks down, but then I decided to come home so I can surprise Riles first thing in the morning."
"Maya," the blonde corrected for the final time. "M-a-y-a. Not Mia. And I knew Mr. Matthews had a little brother, but I didn't think that you were a kid."
"I'm not a kid," Josh laughed. "I just turned ten. You gonna explain the flowers, Maya?"
"I picked them for Riley."
"Why?"
"Because I can."
"Yeah, well," Josh grimaced. "I think you picked one too many. Feeny is definitely gonna notice, and then chew me out in the morning. If you really wanna surprise Riles, just pick out a couple stems. I can help you replant the rest."
"You think Mr. Feeny's gonna notice?"
"Definitely. Lemme help you with that."
"What are you doing out here?" Josh asked, breaking Maya away from her train of thought. She was surprised to see him here, standing on the opposite side of Feeny's fence instead of at his friend's little party with Charlotte. "It's like one in the morning."
"Morgan and I stayed up to watch some dumb cheerleader movie," Maya shrugged, crossing her arms. "I could say the same to you, boing. You're an adult now. You can get charged for trespassing on people's property. Shouldn't you be at that party? I thought you drove."
"I did drive," Josh answered. "But one of my friends got me to drink a little bit. My parents would kill me if I drove home drunk—even though I'm not—so I left my car and walked. It's really not that far."
"You couldn't have asked for a ride?"
"I mean I could've," Josh said. It was true. He could've asked for one of his sober friends to give him a lift on their way home. "But that would've taken too long. There was somewhere I needed to be."
"And that would be Mr. Feeny's backyard?"
"I meant with you, genius," Josh smirked, and for the first time since she saw those photos online, Maya felt at ease. "I've known almost everyone at that party since we were kids. For a little while, it felt like high school all over again, and that's when it dawned on me that it still was high school for a lot of those people. I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty fun being a teenager. I got a lot of cheap thrills out of it...me, my friends, my ex."
Maya frowned at the mention of his ex, Charlotte, but allowed him to continue anyways.
"We had a lot of fun, but I can honestly say that I've outgrown them."
"What do you mean by that?" Maya asked.
"I moved to New York on my own," Josh began, citing things that she already knew. "I started college, worked my ass off, and now I have you."
"Me?"
"Yeah you. It's always been you, and that's something that I realized tonight."
"What happened?"
"I saw my ex at the party. She's still in love with me."
"And?"
"And I couldn't reciprocate. I don't think I ever did. Do you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because of you and this garden and someday."
"Josh, I..."
"Who's out there?" Mr. Feeny bellowed, flickering on his deck light. "Matthews is that you?"
"Oh shit," Josh cursed, stepping over the fence.
Maya laughed. She had nothing to worry about.
Author's Note: This chapter was a lot. What did you like the most? Also I (sadly) cut out the part with Feeny in this chapter, but it's coming soon.
Chapter Preview: Josh and Maya take a detour on the way home, Amy and Alan discuss a life-changing decision, and Maya discovers the true meaning of forgiveness.
