Disclaimer: NO I do not own Inuyasha. That awesome privilege belongs to Romiko Takahashi. Thank you!

Okay, somebody asked what a raspberry is and that is a good question. When I first read it I had a mental image of people putting fruit in their mouths and blowing them all to hell but thats not it. A raspberry is when you stick your tongue out and blow making that 'Bpppp" sound. Like a kid, you know? Any other questions feel free to ask! =) By the way I have a new story idea but I don't know if I should write it while writing four other stories. Go on my profile and read the summery and vote in my poll whether I should or not :)!

Chapter 7: Busted

On Thursday, after lunch to be specific, Kagome met a woman she could have gone her entire life without hearing about and would have been perfectly happy. Like The Guru, she had a name but she ordered the children to call her Manners Mistress. Predictably, she taught them manners.

She also treated them like three year olds.

She came onto the stage, beaming a way too white smile, everything about her perfect. Perfectly straight hair, not a frizz not a wisp out of place. A perfectly pressed cream pants suit, not a stray thread in sight. Her shoes were unscuffed, a miracle in Hell, and seemed to be color matched to her outfit. Or maybe it was the other way around. Her make-up was perfect, no smudges, no wrong color choice, tame and bland. Her skin was flawless, her nose straight, her teeth perfect, no glasses, after all myopia was an imperfection.

She had walked onto the center of the stage, her smile blinding her audience, her footsteps perfectly in time,with absolute grace and poise, and not a single once of fat on her body. Anywhere.

"She has no chest." Kagome said making Inuyasha chuckle.

"You should see her ass, or lack thereof." Miroku said from the other side of Inuyasha.

"Hello, my little ducks." she said beaming. "Good afternoon."

To Kagome surprise the auditorium said good afternoon back. "Why did they answer?" She asked Ayame on her right.

Ayame smiled. "Have you ever seen a baby throw a fit so bad that you just gave it what it wanted just to shut it up? Yeah, picture that but with a grown woman with too white teeth.

Kagome chuckled and looked back on stage. The perfect woman with perfect nails with perfect french tips was putting something on the projector.

"Now, today little ducks, we are learning about gentlemanly behavior." Her smile was kind of creepy. "Girls, you want to listen too so you can find a man with all these qualities. Boys, you want to learn how to treat a woman right don't you?"

"She just says that because no man has ever treated her like a woman before." Inuyasha whispered in Kagome's ear making her stifle a snicker. As if he hadn't made himself clear, he whispered slowly, "She needs to get laid bad."

"Now, first lesson. Door opening. It is polite to open a door for someone carrying something but it is gentlemanly to open a door for an unburdened lady."

"She can't ruin her nail job, that's why." Inuyasha whispered.

"Woman will see you as a kind, selfless boy, who knows how to treat a woman with the proper degree of respect and courtesy."

"Or see you as a nerd who lives with his mom." Inuyasha snickered and Kagome hit him playfully on his arm.

"Pulling out a chair is also acceptable. Goosing the woman in the process, however, is not." She said the word goosing and frowned and curled her lips in distaste as if it were a disgusting sweat word.

Kagome shook her head when Inuyasha opened his mouth because she knew exactly what he would say. His bounced his eyebrows twice for effect though.

Sleeping during Manners Mistress' lecture was unforgivably rude. Those who did were smacked smartly with her wooden ruler.

"Who does she think she is, a nun?" Kagome asked as Manners Mistress did it to a red haired human boy who wouldn't have been caught but he began snoring.

"A godess." Inuyasha said dryly. "She creeps me out. And I bet she's like a board in bed."

"No, she hasn't slept with anyone." Kagome said positively.

"How do you know?" Miroku asked. They didn't worry about being overheard, she was lecturing the red haired boy now.

"No ring. She's the kind of girl who would preach abstinence for fun." Kagome had always believed in abstinence, lived by the rule, though she wasn't as uptight about is as Manners Mistress. However her life was down the shit hole anyway, might as well throw all her morals out the window while she was here.

Manners Mistress nearly fainted when someone would fart or burp and Kami forbid you should have a chewn down fingernail or dirt on your fingernails or dirt anywhere really. She loved the school uniforms, thought they were cute and just right for her growing little ducks. She did not, however, approve of co-ed dorms or a co-ed cafeteria or a co-ed auditorium for that matter. She believed the school should be cut in half, one side for boys the other for girls. Betrothal was her thing though Kagome noticed that she still wasn't married.

In her class, girls practiced walking down the auditorium isle while balancing books on their heads. Kagome was the only person who didn't drop her book at least five times, she tried to teach polite conversation and install a belief that cuss words were the root of all evil, that and poor people. She hated poor people. No, correction. Manners Mistress didn't hate anything. She just 'did not comprehend the style'. A polite person did not 'hate' anythng.

Later that night, at the nightly party, Kagome was laughing at Kouga's impersanation of her.

"We always wipe our ass-cough,cough-I mean behind in a smooth vertical movement." He spoke with a high pitched voice and he walked on his toes like he was wearing high heels. "Twice for maximum cleanliness."

Kagome giggled at him while devouring a cold box of chicken Wacnuggets. In Hell she didn't worry about her weight. She would work it off on Saturday anyway. Ayame was off somewhere, Inuyasha mentioned lookout, Miroku was busy begging for a dance from Sango who was ignoring him in favor of a cup of soda she looked way too interested in. Inuyasha and Kagome were Kouga's solitary audience though she caught a couple people snickering or smirking as they passed by.

Kouga's attention was later caught by a favorite song of his and he ran off, already dancing as he walked.

"Having fun?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome laughed and looked up at him beaming.

Inuyasha froze for a moment and blinked as he looked down at her. Her face was glowing, absolutely radient, with some inner light he had never seen before. Her eyes were so bright and full of laughter that the dark brown seemed closer to the color of gold. She just seemed to brighten the whole room with this smile he had never seen before.

Her old friends had seen this side of her all the time and they still abondoned her but Inuyasha couldn't ever imagine letting her take the fall. He'd jump in front of a bullet for her for that smile alone.

Beautiful. That's what is was just...beautiful.

"What?" Kagome asked tilting her head. Not having realized he had spoken Inuyasha shook his head and looked away. Best not to be caught in those mystical eyes again.

"Nothing, I didn't say anything."

"Hmm?" Kagome looked at him funny but he was busy looking off into another direction, the wall to be precise.

"Inuyasha, did you-"

"Well, well, well. Now what do we have here?"

The music cut off as fast as the conversation as all eyes turned to the entrance where GD and Helga were standing with three other guards looking triumphant. In one of the other guards arms was a struggling Ayame with a hand clapsed firmly over her mouth. To add insult to injury, Ayame, a wolf demon, was being held by a cat demon guard.

"Ayame!" Inuyasha jumped attention, his claws already showing in the dim light.

"Now, now, now." Helga said in her man voice. "I think we are in need of some punishment here."

"Get your hands off her!"

They all looked around at Kouga's roar. But he had already passed by in a blur of motion and was attaching the cat demon with his bare feet.

"Kouga!" Ayame cried as she fell. The cat demon's arms were up, deflection the blows Kouga's powerful legs were trying to deliver.

"Kouga!" Kagome tried to run forward but Inuyasha put out a hand to stop her.

"I got it!" was all he said before running over to help Ayame up. "You okay?"

"Yeah. But Kouga, if he doesn't..."

"I got it." Inuyasha ran after Kouga and grabbed him from behind. "Calm down, man! You know what they'll do!"

"Bastards!" Kouga yelled trying to escape. He kicked his lug up backwards and hit Inuyasha's leg. He grunted but didn't let go.

"Kouga! Knock it off!"

"That's enough of this, I think." GD said smirking at Helga.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out three rounded objects that looked like mothballs. She threw them both at the struggling boys and they exploded releasing a white gas into the air.

Inuyasha and Kouga immediatly feel down to their knees, their eyes watering, coughing and sputtering.

"What did you do?" Kagome asked but she could smell the sharp scent of ammonia from where she was standing making her eyes water. The boys passed out, their superior noses unable to handle the strong gas form of the substance.

Helga smirked. "Sure fire way of handling to canine demons. Ammonia balls. Knocks them out but don't worry, it wont kill them." She looked at the other guards. "Take them to the cells." She ordered. Two men grabbed each of them under their arms and dragged them away.

"Now, for the rest of you." GD said smirking at them. "The Cages? Perhaps?"

"We don't have enough cages for all of them." Helga said but she was still smiling.

"Well, the rest will have to go into the cells with the boys." He looked entirely too pleased as the guards escorted everyone who had not already gone to bed out of the dorms.