Yuri stared at Otabek in a complete astonishment and forgot all about crying. Otabek was standing before him, his figure straight, his right hand stretched in an inviting gesture and his face expressing a calm determination. For the first time this day, Yuri thought it wasn't really happening... that it was just an incredible dream... But it was Otabek's typical expression and Otabek's typical manners - something that was the most real. He could doubt anything else, but Otabek's firm calm would always restore his sense of reality. If it had been a dream - a dream of someone as crazy as Yuri Plisetsky - Otabek would have undoubtedly behaved in a more extravagant way...

Of course, what he'd just done was extravagant, but in his own unique fashion. Yuri shifted his gaze on the open palm and then looked Otabek in the eye again. Otabek was awaiting his answer; he was staying in place, two steps away, not breaching Yuri's personal space, not imposing on him. Giving him a choice.

Yuri gulped and then nodded silently, fixing his eyes on the floor. He knew he was blushing to the roots of his hair. His heart was racing like mad again in his chest. Yet, that pain that had been crushing him just a minute ago and making it difficult to breathe, was gone now. Apparently, Otabek didn't wish to end their friendship... but what he wished was still unknown. In any case, Yuri had expected to be rejected... yet Otabek had done something completely opposite: had reached to him, literally too. Unless... he wanted to part with him in such a final and spectacular way. The thought was damn upsetting and evoked that unpleasant pang in his chest again.

"Then, put your skates on, and I'll change right away," Otabek said and started to prepare himself, indeed.

Yuri cast him a shy glance, and it seemed to him he could see a light shade of pink over his cheeks. He realised he'd never seen Otabek blushing before... and it stirred a very first positive emotion during this conversation. Then... this situation was affecting Otabek as well? For some reason, the thought didn't feel bad, quite the contrary... It was enough that, most of the time, he would feel terribly immature with Otabek, even though they were just two years apart... If Otabek was embarrassed now, even slightly, it gave Yuri some confidence, for - he realised it now - Otabek was sometimes pretty frightening: always perfectly composed.

But, he asked himself right away, if Otabek was embarrassed, didn't it mean he was doing something he didn't want? That he was forcing himself to act that way... for Yuri's sake? Hadn't he said it himself, 'Your friendship is important to me,' when Yuri had asked why not do what he wanted himself? Yuri's hand froze in the mid-air as he tried to understand Otabek's motives. His rational self, completely shouted down by his raging emotions during the last hour, showed itself and told him that he'd better cut off his head, for analysing Otabek's every single gesture and statement and making exaggerated conclusions wouldn't do him any good and instead would lead to the nervous breakdown. He knew that but...

Otabek noticed his stillness. "You don't want to do it, after all?" he asked, and Yuri thought there was some disappointment to his words, although he might have just imagined that. "That's fine... if you don't want-"

"I want!" Yuri called out, and it was his very first real answer during this strange conversation. "I want..."

Of course he wanted. After all, he'd spent last two weeks, dreaming of skating with Otabek. He'd been imagining it every day, aware those had been just visions that would never come true... And now Otabek was giving him an opportunity... had offered it himself...! Even if Yuri had no idea why... he just couldn't let his chance pass. He wanted. He wanted to do it! Even if it would be the last thing in his life...!

His hands were trembling as he was tying the laces, but his determination helped him to finally stand up with skates on. Otabek was ready about the same time. However, before they left the changing room, he leaned down to check Yuri's bindings, and Yuri was staring at him with his ears red. "I know you're a pro. It's just in case," his friend said, rising again, and Yuri wondered whether Otabek's personality would ever cease surprising him. Always positively.

He nodded, too excited to say anything. Then Otabek reached to him again, and Yuri, with the feeling he would faint from emotional overload any moment, took his hand, his eyes fixed on the floor again. Somehow, he managed to stay conscious, and they soon stepped in the ice, although he didn't stop wondering how come his legs could still bear him. It might be that once, long ago, he'd felt a similar tension before a competition - for it strangely reminded a stage fright - but he couldn't really remember. Now he was under the absurd impression that he was going to skate the most important programme in his life, and everything depended on it... Programme...

"What are we going to skate, actually?" he asked without thinking, yet it was the most lucid remark he'd made today.

"Your free skate from the last season," Otabek replied as if he'd had that answer ready.

Knowing him, he had, and Yuri felt another heat wave creeping onto his face upon the thought Otabek might have planned it all along... He nodded, trying to concentrate on the situation and calm down his heart, pounding in his chest with some silly hope. Technically-wise, they might make it. Every year, Otabek would practice Yuri's programmes, too. He explained that it helped him to improve himself... but was it the real cause? Yuri decided he wouldn't think of it now, for the moment required his all attention.

Himself, he still remembered the choreography - his body remembered - even though the season had ended two months ago and he'd been already practising his new routine. Yes, they should make it, since they both knew what to skate. They only needed to be careful and not to run into each other, and there should be no problem... Still, it wasn't all there was to it; it wasn't about skating the same programme solo... was it now? Otabek had said 'with me', so it meant 'together'. Together... like Victor and Katsudon... together on the same ice... together... together... He nearly lost courage, and his body tensed as if it was going to flee again.

Then, however, Otabek squeezed his hand, as if trying to comfort him, before letting go of him and moving to the centre of the rink. Yuri, irrationally, felt abandoned, but he knew what to do in order to nullify this sensation. He drew up to stop some two meters from Otabek. Otabek answered his questioning look with a nod, and Yuri felt a smile stretching his lips. It was a wonderful feeling, for it seemed to him he hadn't smiled for ages. And with smile came the first hope for the happy ending, whatever it might be.

He raised his arms and bent his body in the starting position. In the corner of his eye, he saw Otabek do the same. His heart was still beating hard and fast, but there was something familiar about this situation - like an excitation preceding the performance: not paralysing but invigorating. It took him a split second to understand it was the magic of ice. On ice, he didn't need to fear anything, for it was a stage he could show his quality on, and the success depended only on himself. Off ice, he'd been just an ordinary and insignificant person, but here he was capable of anything. He felt he was getting calm; it was that well know calm of self-confidence and belief in his own abilities. On ice, he had control. On ice, he was free.

Although no music played, he started to skate as if he could hear it. His body was moving along those soundless notes and accords, easily capturing all nuances and interpreting anti-melody in its own way. He knew - could sense it with his all - that Otabek was skating beside him, and it made him happy. He smiled and jumped up to a quad Salchow, landing it cleanly - just like Otabek two metres away. At the next straight, he turned to look at him. Otabek looked back... and grabbed his hand. Yuri blinked, but the next second he was already adjusting the routine to that new arrangement. He thought it was pleasant... and he didn't want to stop.

However, it was time for the second jump, a triple Axel, so he let go of Otabek - but after landing their hands found each other again. Yuri's smile grew wider, and Otabek's face lit up, too. So far they'd been doing better Yuri could have expected. Yet, when executing the last jumps of the first half - quadruple-triple toe loop combination - Otabek did only one... and Yuri nearly landed in his arms, for Otabek was already waiting for him.

This time they grabbed each other by both hands, and the slower part of the programme enabled them to do it. Otabek placed himself behind him and they moved like that for a moment, their arms abducted, before Otabek released his grip on Yuri's one hand and raised the other one... and Yuri instinctively turned on his own axis, before facing him. And, unbelievable, Otabek smiled...! Maybe he too was pleased with that successful pair skating. Otabek's smile made Yuri's heart leap...

...and the next moment, on sheer impulse, Yuri moved one hand against his cheek and neck. Otabek grabbed his hand and brushed its inside with his lips, but before Yuri managed to react, Otabek grasped his waist and turn him in the mid-air. Yuri went with the punch and did the same, and for the rest of the slow part they skated one by one, and now it was not only their hands that were touching. When the programme entered the final part, Yuri knew what elements he would discard in favour of this joint interpretation. He took liking to this pair skating - skating together - and didn't plan to return to singles now.

He turned to Otabek and wrapped one arm around his neck, looking him in the again. Never before had he been so close - and one hour ago he hadn't believed he would ever be - but now it didn't bother him in the slightest. He felt safe on ice. Ice was the place where he was able to show everything and not be ashamed. Ice was his; here he could do anything he wanted. Keeping the eye contact, he slipped his fingers into Otabek's hair and then touched his face with his other hand. Otabek took him by the waist again...

...and Yuri just put one leg around his hip and then - when Otabek's hands tightened their grip - the other as well, although it required great attention. Otabek moved his hands onto his tights, holding him firmly, as if he never planned to let go. Yuri trusted his strength. He leaned backwards and stretched his hands over his head until his fingers touched the ice. However, he pulled up soon, drawing his face close to Otabek's, so that their noses almost touched. He felt Otabek's hands moving onto his back and neck, pushing him closer until there was no free space between them. Yuri couldn't refrain from brushing his palm against Otabek's cheek and jaw. Otabek gave him a calm look, but something burned in his gaze, and Yuri decided it was a deep satisfaction.

The next moment Otabek surprised him again, grabbing his waist and putting him on the ice, before moving away. Yuri had that impression of being abandoned once more when he lost the touch of body under his palms. He understood that, if he wanted to satisfy that need for contact, he had to take care of it himself. Otabek was skating away from him, so Yuri followed until he realised Otabek was preparing for the next jump... and made it a point of honour to jump the same one, and land it cleanly, too. He knew it would be the last element; even if he'd changed some figures in the meantime, he had the whole choreography recorded in his body, in his muscles and tendons, and the music he couldn't hear was still playing in his head. Flip or Lutz? Those were the jumps - triple ones - he'd always performed at the end of his free skate in the last season, and now he was feeling so high he had no doubt he could do it. But flip or Lutz? He decided just a split second before taking off... Lutz! He sprung up, in the corner of his eye seeing Otabek do the same. One rotation... two... three... four... Four?

He didn't registered landing. He was filled with euphoria, as if he'd just cleanly skated a programme for medal. His eyes searched Otabek, who turned to him as well, and they started to run to each other until their hands clasped together, and they finished the performance with some particular double spin. Silent music stopped, along with the echo of applause and ovation, and Yuri realised he was standing in Otabek's embrace, gasping for breath, just like Otabek behind his back. He couldn't stop smiling. He didn't remember the last time he'd felt so great... and now there was something more than satisfaction after a flawlessly skated routine. He thought of the proverb, 'shared joy is a double joy'... This very moment he was one hundred percent certain that no performance, even the one bringing him an Olympic gold, wouldn't give him as much pleasure as what they had just done with Otabek.

He turned his head to look at the best friend he could ever have. In Otabek's eyes he spotted the same pride that must be seen on his own face. Otabek's arms were still wrapped around his chest... and it felt as natural as everything that had happened between the two of them on the ice so far.

"It was great... Simply fantastic," he said, still smiling.

"Wasn't it?" Otabek agreed with him.

Yuri turned to him to look with admiration, touching his shoulders. Otabek's hands moved down onto his waist. "Otabek Altin, you're a fucking genius," he said, fully convinced of it. "How come you haven't won a single gold medal yet?"

"Maybe I should switch to pairs," Otabek replied with untypical sarcasm.

"Maybe..." Yuri muttered, although he didn't like the idea in the slightest.

"But only with you," Otabek added, giving him a very penetrating yet very open look, which made Yuri's heart beat faster. "Besides... if I am a genius, then what should be said of you?"

Yuri shook his head. "Why, it was my programme to begin with," he murmured, lowering his head. "I just happened to still remember it..."

"Your perfected programme," Otabek qualified. "Putting aside the choreography... It was quad Lutz, wasn't it? You landed it perfectly," he said appreciatively.

Yuri nodded and looked at him gratefully... and then he realised he was still touching him. He withdrew his hands and took one step back, getting out of Otabek's grasp when the intimacy of the situation struck him... and everything what had been torturing him for the last two weeks returned. Feeling of loss made his chest ache. Just a moment ago, when they'd been skating, everything had been so natural... He'd managed to forget about that and had simply enjoyed being with Otabek, doing something together and having fun, so much fun! Now he was under the impression that the barrier had appeared between them again, and he suspected he would turn into a shaking jelly any moment now, just like before... And after Otabek had helped him to regain his own self!

Then, however, Otabek grabbed his hands. "Thank you," he said outright, and Yuri looked at him involuntarily.

He shook his head. "No, I thank you," he said in a soft voice, wanting to both avert his eyes and never stop staring at Otabek's face... and this time it was the latter that prevailed, although it was still safer to look at Otabek's mouth and nose than in his eye. "That time... in the changing room... If you hadn't done it, I would have felt much worse," he said upon suddenly realising it. "And what... what we did... was fantastic," he repeated and smiled.

"Actually, I did it mostly for my own sake," Otabek replied, his hands still holding Yuri's hands, and Yuri let him do so, for he was too absorbed with his words.

"What do you mean...?"

He could swear he saw a faint flush creeping on Otabek's cheeks, and it had nothing to do with the physical exertion.

"I wanted to know how it would feel to touch you," Otabek said point-blank, just like he used to, although it didn't lessen Yuri's astonishment in the slightest. "I thought it would be a good way to find out."

Yuri was staring at him, aware he was blushing again, which was quite peculiar when he had yet to recover after skating. Then, however, he surprised himself even more, asking without any conscious intention, "And?"

Still, Otabek was a winner in the category 'the biggest surprise of the day' when, instead of replying in a normal way, he leaned forward and kissed him.

Yuri blinked, suddenly certain he was dreaming... but did nothing to wake up.

It wasn't even a real kiss, Otabek was just touching his lips, yet Yuri felt like he was going to explode when he realised that Otabek Altin had just kissed him.

How could it be possible?

Otabek moved back and looked him in the eye again. "I think it's all right," he said. "And even better I expected."

Yuri kept staring at him, utterly perplexed... until a nasty thought struck him: that it could be just fun for Otabek. It was nasty because of its content, but even more due to that very suspicion. Deep inside, he knew Otabek Altin wasn't someone to play this way.

Thus, instead of asking, 'Were you serious?', he said, "And what now?", which was the more important matter.

"What would you like to do?" Otabek replied with another question.

Yuri was speechless again and then thought he wasn't sure how to answer that. It was too general question... He thought he really wanted to sit down and think calmly, and talk calmly. However, he was under the impression that if he went back to the changing room, something between the two of them would be destroyed - that bond, different they'd had until now, he could feel here, on ice. Once more, he remembered what he'd written in the sms, 'Let's try again.'

He took a deep breath and, even though it was so unlike him - Yuri Plisetsky he'd been just until a moment ago wouldn't think twice, only jump Otabek as if he wanted to devour him whole... or drown in him completely - he decided that his priority was to know where he was, even if it made him look like a total moron. Not that it was any different from what he'd been in the last two weeks...

"Why did you want to know how it would feel to... touch me?" he asked, forcing himself to keep the eye contact, although it required all his courage to say it aloud.

Now a surprise flashed in Otabek's eyes. Yuri interpreted it as, 'But that's what you wanted'.

He nodded. "Yes, I know that's what I wanted... I still want," he said in a low voice... and it didn't come with difficulty, now that it was no longer any secret. "But why you wanted to know?"

"I wondered about it since that Tuesday two weeks ago," Otabek replied. "I wondered if I could do it in case our relationship were to change. If I could answer you the way you wanted. No, it's not that..." he corrected right away. "Rather, I came to the conclusion there was no other option, and started to prepare myself."

Yuri blinked again. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Otabek had said it so calmly and firmly, in his normal tone, as if he were talking about changing an old pair of skates to a new one.

"And it didn't occur to you to, rather, end this relationship?" he whispered. "Something like that would be perfectly understandable."

"No," Otabek replied, and Yuri knew he believed him, although it was something unbelievable.

"Why?" he asked, for he couldn't really grasp it.

"I'm your friend," he was given another truth as an answer.

"It can't be that simple," Yuri said, shaking his head.

"It is."

"Then... Every guy will say it's all right when his best friend wants to sleep with him?" he said with disbelief, irony and provocation.

Otabek ignored each of them and replied simply, "I'm not 'every'. You are not 'every'."

Yuri was staring at him, unable to utter a word... Some part of him kept telling him he shouldn't be surprised. Otabek always had answers... and always had last words, no matter how much Yuri raged. And now he was standing before him, still holding his hands and looking at him with that damn calm gaze of him. He was telling him such things Yuri had never expected to hear... yet believed without reservation. If it were anyone else, he would have never believed - but Otabek didn't use to lie.

Otabek went on, "Before, you said I always adjusted to you, and I said that your friendship was that important to me. Still, I don't want you to think that now I... hmm, make a sacrifice or something. I don't treat our friendship as some kind of trophy I can't afford to lose because it would be, like, uncool. No, I just hold you dear and want you to be part of my life. And I want to be part of your life. Do you understand what I mean?"

Yuri nodded. Oh, he understood, he perfectly understood - mostly because he felt exactly the same. He wanted to be with Otabek not due to some pride or desire to have, but because Otabek made his life better.

"I accepted you for better or for worse. I did long ago," Otabek continued. "I can't imagine anything to stand between us, to divide us. That's why I want to adjust and think I'm fine with anything."

"But to change your sexual preference... Isn't it overdoing it?" Yuri asked, wondering whether he was still able to feel surprised.

"Who says about changing it?" Otabek replied, raising his brow. "I'd rather think I discovered that part of me I hadn't realised until now. And that's because of you," he emphasised.

Yuri shook his head. "Okay, but you said you'd wanted to know..." he reminded Otabek his previous words. "What if it hadn't worked? What if you'd realised it was absolutely impossible? What then?"

"Then I would've given myself more time," Otabek replied, and there was some satisfaction in his voice, although the next moment he winced slightly. "In the worst case, I'd have tried to wait it out," he added, although that option apparently pleased him the least. "You said yourself you wanted to wait it out, right? Well, in any case, I haven't thought for a moment you could do anything... haven't thought you could do anything to me."

"Really?" Yuri asked with his eyes like saucers.

"Why? As far as I was concerned, you've rather tried to run away from me during those two weeks. When we skated a moment ago, you haven't jumped me either, or tried to rape me, even though you had plenty occasions, right?" Otabek said in a lucid voice and very directly, even for him.

Yuri lowered his eyes, blushing up to his ears. He knew it would take a while to proceed everything he'd been told during the last half an hour. Otabek could be silent for months... but he was also able to say so much things in just a few minutes that other people didn't say during the whole year. It was natural that such a condensed dose could stupefy and required time to be absorbed. Still, Yuri thought he knew what was the main point here... and he felt dizzy again.

Had Otabek Altin really said he wanted... was ready to... with him...? He felt his hands tremble, or maybe he was trembling all over, suddenly completely thrown off balance - but, at the same time, so terribly… so awfully happy...!

He raised his eyes and looked at Otabek with delight. And admiration. And affection. "Are you an angel?" he asked without thinking... and then realised he really thought so.

"Says the man who skated Agape in his senior debut," Otabek replied with a shade of smile.

"Agape has nothing to do with it," Yuri replied, never taking his eyes off him. "But, Otabek... What if... you regret it?"

"I haven't regretted a single day with you. Don't expect me to start now," Otabek replied with conviction.

Yuri felt his eyes sting... but this one time he didn't care about showing his weakness. With all things Otabek already knew about him, there was no reason to be bothered by tears. But he promised himself that the next time he would by no means act as a weepy girl. The next time he would show Otabek who Yuri Plisetsky really was.

"Then..."

"I think we can try," his friend said, nodding.

No promises, no declarations... yet single 'we can try', coming out of Otabek Altin's mouth, sounded like a life-long vow.

Yuri nodded, too, and wiped his eyes. He looked at Otabek and smiled, and Otabek smiled back, in his own way. Yuri felt his sense of security, that he'd lacked for the last two weeks, was being restored. The feeling of relief was so intense that he swayed, but Otabek grabbed him by his shoulders right away. Yuri trembled... and then, mustering his courage, pressed himself against Otabek, hiding his face in the curve of his neck. Otabek embraced him, and they stayed like that in silence, full of understanding and mutual respect, and Yuri thought he had never felt so good before.

"Then, let me ask again... What would you like to do?" Otabek spoke once he was sure Yuri calmed down.

Yuri detached himself and spent a moment simply looking at the face he'd loved more than anything. Apparently, Otabek didn't like to lose time once he'd made his decision - yes, it was so like him. Yuri smiled, cupped his head and kissed him... and this time it was a real kiss. As his tongue acquainted with Otabek's - judging from the way Otabek's fingers clutched on Yuri's back, it must have been equally pleasant for them both - he thought he really had underestimated his friend. Then the reasonable part of his mind pointed out they would be too cold on the ice in case they wished to go on, before politely turning off.

When their lips parted - Yuri's fingers still in Otabek's hair, and Otabek's hand still on Yuri's back - Yuri whispered, "You're the most incredible man in the world."

And this time Otabek didn't deny it.