A good leader in any time period identifies problems when they are small and deals with them ahead of time. A good wizard waits for the evil wizard to return and regain all his power before hunting down all the evil wizard's phylacteries, which is quite the opposite thing, really. This chapter has been brought to you by the letter M.


Luna lay on the floor of Celestia's courtroom, cards at her hooves and a candle between she and Alfred. The night was dragging on wearily, and Luna was not having much fun.

"I'm bored," she whined.

Alfred rubbed his balding scalp. "Perhaps we could visit the gardens, Mistress Luna," he suggested.

Luna groaned and set her head down on the bare carpet. "The gardens aren't pretty at night," she complained.

The two sat in silence. Alfred asked Luna if she had any twos. She did.

"Two is the loneliest number," she sang halfheartedly.

"I think two is quite alright," Alfred reposed.

Luna glared at him. He was wrecking her song. She might have told him that too, but the sound of the latch at the court's double doors echoed off the walls. The heavy doors swung open, and there in the entryway stood Hastur, like the visage of death if the Grim Reaper were yellow. He paced to where the two of them were spread out. Alfred tensed as Hastur ceremoniously bowed to Luna.

Luna crawled to her feet and nervously curtsied.

"I came to offer an apology, Goddess" Hastur said. "One for last night, because I feel that I imposed, and another because I'm afraid I told Lady Celestia about our meeting."

"Oh," Luna replied. "No, it's ok."

"I presume she came to find out you why you lied," Hastur said. "I asked to be held accountable, but she did not seem mad. In fact, you seem to be alright."

"I'm fine," Luna said primly.

Finding nothing more could be said, Hastur pointed to the cards on the ground. "Are you playing a game?" he asked. "I have little else to do tonight. May I join you?"

Alfred gave a worried glance to Luna, but Luna didn't want to be rude. It was just cards; Hastur had nothing evil to gain by playing with her. She nodded, and Hastur sat down. She dealt him a hand from the deck.

"How do I play?" Hastur asked.

"Do you have any fours?" Luna asked.

Hastur shuffled through his cards. "I haven't," he replied.

"Then you're an old maid," she said sardonically, checking his reaction for signs of protest. "Do you have any threes?"

He surveyed his hand a second time. "Yes," he said.

"Then give them to me," Luna ordered. Hastur obeyed. "You lose three points. Do you have any sevens?"

Hastur slowly lowered his cards and gazed at Luna's face. She was waiting for him in a fog of sadistic amusement. "I don't have any cards at all," he said. "My turn is completed."

"What?" Luna cried. "You can't do that!"

"I can," Hastur informed her. "When I do not have the cards you are seeking, I am called old maid, and when I do, I am penalized. Therefore, I surrender, and thus win the game as much as I am able."

"That's not fair!" Luna reached up with a hoof and pulled Hastur's cards down where she could see them. "You do have a seven!" she accused. "You lose at least seven points! No, fourteen!"

"What! Are my losses doubled for surrendering?" Hastur asked, appalled.

"No, for lying!" Luna replied haughtily. "Do you have any fives?"

"You just saw that I have!" Hastur lamented, "Please, it is the other gentlecolt's turn now."

"You lose another five points!" Luna teased. "And you lose another two for stalling!"

"Goddess Luna, I am Viscount Hastur of Carcosa!" Hastur proclaimed, throwing his cards down.

Luna began to giggle. At first Alfred had been rather concerned about the dragon, but seeing Luna so in control here put him more at ease. It was certainly nice to see his mistress a bit on the chipper side as well.

"We are playing by her ladyship's rules, Lord Viscount," Alfred said matter-of-factly, winking to the guest, "You have to understand that the way you win the game is by being the moon goddess."

"And you lose by being the evil viscount!" Luna chimed in.

Hastur eyeballed the pile on the ground suspiciously. "Then what's the point of all these?" he asked, waving his hands around.

Luna gathered his cards together and tried to shove them back into Hastur's claws. "You have to play with them!" she insisted.

Hastur deflated. "This game is very much like real life," he sighed.

Luna rolled her eyes, then spun over on her back. She spread her wings out for balance on the marble. "Tell me about it," she commiserated.

Hastur grievously stared at what remained of the playing hand between his scaly fingers, but then a thought seemed to strike him.

"Is this much like a sleep over?" he asked. "I have never had one, and I am told that makeovers are simply divine."

Luna cocked an eyebrow. "Seriously?" she asked, a touch of inconsolable hope forcing it's way out. A dawning fugue of alarm passed over Alfre'd face.

"Do you think we could paint my nails?" Hastur begged, holding his talons up and waggling them flamboyantly. "Duke Incitatus painted his, and they were the most gorgeous shade of blue. I'll do yours if you do mine." He tapped his fingers to his cheeks in excitement.

Luna flipped over to her feet. "You want that?" she asked. "You really want to have a make out -" Luna rattled her head, "I mean, you really want to have a make over?"

"Would it make sense for a dragon to paint his spines?" Hastur asked, clapping his claws together.

Luna began to feel herself being swept away. "Celestia bought me a very expensive kit for me to use with my first friends." She was trotting in place, but stopped. "Well, not my first ever friends, but my new friends."

"Heavens. Go!" Hastur pressed, waving for her to run.

Luna took off for her room at full speed.

"Goodness," Alfred remarked after she had left, "My heart nearly stopped when she mentioned her first ever friends. I thought for certain the next words out of her mouth would be, 'my first ever friends are all dead now,' and then we'd lose all that joy in one swoop."

"I'll remember to steer clear of that," Hastur resolved.

"Honestly, though, when I first saw you I didn't expect you to be much of a dandy. What ever compelled you to ask for a makeover? Now we're both stuck!" Alfred chided.

"I'll have you know that Carcosans do not have gender roles," Hastur admonished. "Furthermore, it's quite presumptuous of you to assume my gender in the first place." The bass in Hastur's voice did nothing to reinforce the implied femininity of the statement. "I, for one, intend to have a splendid time enjoying one of a young filly's rights of passage."

Alfred found himself perfectly dumbstruck. "So you're saying that you're a -"

"The real question you should be asking is how did I find out about make overs in the first place!" Hastur placed a hand on his chest. "Of course, as the proud parent of three hatchlings of my very own, naturally I should be interested in discovering how mares take care of their babies."

Alfred found himself feeling a tad hot under the collar. His face was growing bright red. "Oh. Well, I'm sorry miss – er, ma'am," he coughed apologetically.

The both of them sat in awkward silence until Luna returned. She was surrounded by a whirlwind of makeup, exfoliating products, teen filly magazines, and other female paraphernalia. In her mouth she was dragging a series of dresses, which she was accidentally drooling on. Luna's eyes were alight with hope and vitality, but she slowed to a trot on her way in just in case Alfred and Hastur were not quite in the same tizzy as she was about the whole thing.

She set the materials down gently, and at once lost confidence. She smiled bashfully, feeling silly about having gotten so worked up. It was easy to lose momentum to a face like Hastur's. The lizard, on the other hand, rose to his feet and examined the lipsticks and mascaras as they rolled across the floor.

"My word," he breathed, lightly gripping Luna at the shoulders, "You've brought everything! Let's start with a fashion show. Alfred will be the judge."

Alfred released a deep sigh of relief, and the passion rekindled in Luna's expression. A flurry of makeup rose into the air. Like a complex orchestra conducted by a well-oiled machine, Luna helped apply all ranges of cosmetic products to Hastur's crocodile-like face. He tried to return the favor for Luna, but even with the magazines as guides, Hastur found he was not terribly proficient at the nuances of looking good, and Luna had to reapply next to everything. Luna won the contest of course, with a perfect score from the only critic. In an upset, Haster called for Luna to get the opinions of the guards stationed outside, but they naturally, even if uncertain about the entire extravaganza, sided with Luna.

The night passed by in an endless stream of trying on dresses and Hastur protesting that he really was quite attractive by Carcosan standards. There were quizzes about colts, there were mud treatments, pedicures, and the night chef was asked to prepare special meals for the event. At one point in the festivities, Alfred was perfectly shocked to learn that Luna had shared a first kiss with some young buck in literal ancient history. When the dragon began trying to explain Carcosan mating rituals, Alfred was forced to leap to his hooves and stutter, in a conniption of embarrassment, that the Viscount was to be thanked but he had said quite enough.

The hours of the evening waned thin, and soon came the cusp of dawn. Celestia's court room was a mess, and Alfred made it his duty to begin collecting shoes and stray game pieces from the regal red carpet.

"I dare say we have had enough fun for the night, mustn't you agree, Mistress Luna?" Alfred prompted.

Luna was entirely drained of energy. In fact, she may have stopped a bit earlier, but she had been spurned on by Hastur's enthusiasm.

"Alright," she concurred, gathering up several outfits at once with her magic.

The dragon began to scrape jewelry from his spines and claws. Luna was fairly certain he had eaten a few rings, but it wasn't as if they couldn't be replaced. His face was still laden with make up, which was about as attractive on his alligator maw as could be hoped - admittedly not very. He looked like he'd be going out to a hot nightclub to snatch zebras from the river banks and drag them under.

"For such an ad hoc affair, that was truly a lot of fun, don't you think?" he asked.

Luna bobbed her head emphatically. It was fun. She enjoyed spending time with Alfred, but he never had quite the pizazz to make a night like that happen. He was polite, always weary of out-stepping his bounds, and was unusually content with the mundane.

Hastur examined his nails, now painted purple and dotted with little silver stars to compliment his cape. His spines were also painted purple, but Luna discovered that Hastur had etched engravings into them – he explained they were to help differentiate him from the other Carcosans – so she had painted silver lines following the patterns. Luna thought it looked rather dashing, and she wondered if she ought to get her own horn engraved and painted. Celestia would never allow it, sadly, but it had the potential to be something of a fashion statement.

"Imagine if we had planned this," Hastur went on. "I believe we could have made quite creative use of the palace grounds."

"Like what?" Luna asked, shimmering garments orbiting above her. She really did want to have more court holdings like this.

Hastur placed his glittering talons beneath his chin. "Well, we could throw a veritable party, granted some organization. I imagine quite a few fillies would be eager to attend. Is it not the dream of most children to enjoy the luxury of royalty?"

"Oh," Luna whimpered. Her wings drooped. "I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm not very well known right now."

Hastur nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, yes," he mumbled. "However," he waved a claw in the air, "Perhaps that could be of some advantage."

Luna blinked. It sounded like Hastur was hatching an evil plan, but it seemed strange that he would be so dark about throwing a party. On the other hand, Luna was well aware that Celestia's own prime minister had a strange habit to be like that. Celestia once told her that Cecil plotted incessantly about all manner of inane things, but that was just the nature of an adviser. Reportedly, Cecil was one of the best prime minsters in recent history because he took his job so seriously and yet lacked any real ambition. Maybe Hastur had the same kind of personality?

"Here we are in Celestia's halls," Hastur said, walking to one of the stained glass windows. He placed a hand on the frame. "Yet the institution is ancient. Stale."

Hastur plodded back to Luna. Alfred eyed him suspiciously. Things were becoming serious again with this lizard despite the makeup, and mother of three or not, Alfred did not want trouble of any kind from him or her.

"You, Goddess," Hastur said, holding his claws out to her, "Are new to the ponies."

"I'm behind the times," Luna dismissed, shaking her head.

"Then you have an old world charm," Hastur insisted.

"I'm afraid that Mistress Luna is not interested in politics at the moment, Lady Hastur," Alfred interjected in Luna's defense.

Hastur threw his arms out. "Who said anything about politics?" he asked. "I merely believe that you, Goddess," Hastur pleasantly dabbed Luna on the nose; Luna flinched, "Have the potential to be the most beloved celebrity in all of Equestria. We could throw parties in your honor every night, and the ponies would come to celebrate you and tell you how wonderful you are. How beautiful you are!"

Luna blushed and cast her eyes downward. It was essentially all she ever wanted, but reaching out for that goal had always led to a lot of anger and frustration in her life. The more she struggled to be noticed, the more it backfired and the more she was shunned.

"I don't think it's that important," Luna capitulated evasively.

Hastur reached out and tipped Luna's head towards him so that she could see into his placid face. "Goddess, in my homeland we have a legend of two dragons: Mithra and her sister, Maonghah."

Mithra was famous for her ability to tease and inspire other dragons. She waved their desires beneath their noses and taunted them with the hope of gain. She always seemed just submissive enough and quite within reach such that all dragons thought they could own her. She promised riches to those of avaricious heart, romance to the lusty, and power to the ambitious, but always she stayed at arm's length. In time, she was pursued with ferocious madness by her suitors.

The sister, Maonghah, on the other hand, saw Mithra's popularity and believed she would place herself a step above. With equal wealth, beauty, and power, Maonghah would fulfill the desires of her suitors and rise above Mithra. At first her plan seemed fruitful, as Mithra's dejected and embittered hopefuls came to her to burn off their passions, but soon they came to take Maonghah for granted. Her wealth dwindled and her power slipped – many dragons lost respect for Maonghah, and even the males that visited her began to treat her like convenient refuse. After all, if a dragon is not to be eagerly chased, then surely she is not worth chasing!

At last, Maonghah barred herself from the outside world. She slept for many years, refusing to interact with others or to be stolen from again. Mithra, on the other hand, continued as before, and during Maonghah's sleep Mithra's courtiers became more numerous and worked into a greater frenzy than ever before. When at last Maonghah woke, most had forgotten that she ever satisfied them in Mithra's stead, but Maoghah formulated a new strategy.

Now Maonghah selected Mithra's suitors carefully, identifying the ones that were most desperate to have their needs fulfilled. She invited them to her domain, and whatever they sought, she indulged them, but only once. If they returned a second time, she would send them away. Word spread that Maonghah had returned to the world, and rumors of her deeds spread with it. The greedy flocked back to her lands and to court her again, but now she was quite choosy and only gave favor to those who brought gifts.

The favors themselves were often worth more than the courtesies, and as such it became common standard to bring Maonghah an offering. However, she selected fewer and fewer suitors to satiate, and eventually it became a matter of gambling. Each dragon would do his best to bring the largest and most impressive charity, and she would choose one of hundreds on a whim. The contributions eventually summed to be worth more than any need Maonghah fulfilled, and her wealth soared beyond what it had ever been.

Both Mithra and Maonghah came to be of equal influence in Azathoth and were both widely sought after. However, one day, Nyarlathotep, the king of dragons himself, proposed he could tame the two at once. When he came to Maonghah she submitted to him, and he lavished her with prizes. When he found Mithra, in comparison, she slunk just ever so slightly beyond Nyarlathotep's grasps, hoping to prolong his attention and gift-giving. Yet though this had worked for her with countless dragons before, Nyarlathotep took her polite refusal as a personal insult, and Mithra was made no more.

"I see some parallels between your life and the story of Maonghah, Goddess," Hastur assessed. "Like her, you have been given a new ability to reinvent yourself and reach your avidity."

"I don't want to be some kind of royal prostitute," Luna protested uncertainly.

"Well I should certainly hope not!" Alfred gasped. "Lady Hastur, this is hardly the kind of advice to be giving to the Young Mistress!"

"You needn't be," Hastur responded to Luna, coolly ignoring the butler. "Maonghah's tactics for wealth and popularity were ones that she devised and chose herself. In my opinion it is foolish to dismiss romance or any tool in your repertoire of social combat, but as Goddess Luna you are free to choose your own colors and road to recompense."

"But..." Luna paused. She looked to Hastur imploringly. "Well those dragons seem..." She let her eyes wander, and she huffed in exasperation. "They seem clever," she managed, bleeding hurt into the observation.

Hastur reassuringly placed one his talons on Luna's back. "Dearest Goddess," he cooed, "Cleverness is merely smoke and mirrors. I am sure you could be made to look the same."

Luna frowned. "You mean I can look clever, but you don't think I'm clever already," she accused.

Hastur released her. "Maonghah's benefit was that she learned humility while her sister enjoyed success," he said, changing the subject. "I feel the lesson of modesty has been pressed upon you cruelly. However, I believe that everyone who has met you personally would like to see you succeed. Myself, your sister," Hastur looked to the servant, "And Alfred too, I am sure."

"Of course, as much as anyone," Alfred obliged. He seemed to want to say more, but there was nothing to protest about encouraging Lady Luna.

"I have been thinking about your situation since we first met," Hastur said to Luna. "I think that perhaps we should consider rebuilding your ancient castle in the Everfree Forest. All this," Hastur said, motioning to the room in general, "Was not designed to compliment you properly."

"That sounds rather ambitious," castigated Alfred. "I would love to see Lady Luna ascend to her proper place eventually, Lady Hastur, but such things cost a great deal of money, and we would absolutely need to have Lady Celestia involved in the matter."

"I already have her consent," Hastur snapped.

Luna's ears perked. "She said she was ok with rebuilding my castle?" She asked, shocked.

Hastur nodded. "Yes, but this is not a matter of following her orders. The decision to embark on this project is left entirely to you, Goddess."

Luna thought back to when her castle was first built. There had been parades commissioned by Celestia and a lot of pomp about its completion, but the walls came to grow cold and empty. Luna had her power, but she had nothing the world wanted. Celestia chased off the vultures picking for free meals, and Luna was not good at politics.

"I don't know," Luna replied bitterly.

"You do not need to make a decision tonight," Hastur relented. "However, I feel that once you have your temple, you will have ponies to dance in the moonlight with you. I swear I will make it happen. If you decide to try, then meet me at your former castle tomorrow night. Otherwise, it will merely be an interesting historical foray for me, and I will bring something to read to pass the time. Just promise to think about it."

Luna reluctantly agreed.