"Don't be afraid, oh my love. I'll be watching you from above, and I'd give all the world tonight to be with you. 'Cause I'm on your side and I still care. I may have died, but I've gone nowhere. Just think of me and I'll be there." –I'll be there, The Escape Club
Kate found herself in the loft. She was looking once again at Richard Castle. When she saw him in the water he had a full beard. Now he did not. Again she wondered how much time had passed on earth. Her heart ached and tears ran down her face. She could smell him. I've missed that smell so much, she thought as she approached his silent form. He was seated on the couch, a glass of scotch in his hand. His breathing steady, he stared off into space, his mind obviously far away.
Kate moved to sit beside him and began to speak to him. "Rick, you've got to stop. You've got to stop looking for these people. Don't leave Alexis without a dad. Don't leave your mom, look after my dad. Rick please." She begged him, sobs escaping her. "There is so much that I should have told you, so much that you don't know. I loved you Rick, with all my heart. I dreamed of you at night, woke to wish you were beside me. I dreamed of what it would be like to spend our lives together. Of what it would feel like to make love to you. Rick please hear me." She continued to cry to him, cradling her head in her hands on the couch next to him.
Then she heard it, barely a whisper, but she heard him. "Kate?"
Her head shot up at him and she cried out. "Yes Rick. It is me! You can hear me! Rick I'm here. I'm with you. Rick I love you." He didn't reply. "Rick?" still no sign that he'd heard her. But he knows I'm here! She inched closer to him and reached for him, "Rick I'm here and nobody is going to separate us again. I'll be with you Rick, I'll be right here." Her hand gently touched his shoulder.
The scream he let out when she touched him was more of a howl than a scream. As if he were in an incredible amount of pain, not physical but a much deeper pain. He hurled his glass of scotch across the room and watched it shatter against the wall before grabbing his own hair and rocking himself back and forth, crying out hysterically. Kate stood up and backed away from him, finally understanding now what her prolonged presence would do to him. "Goodbye my love." She whispered, tears rolling down her face, before closing her eyes and willing herself away from him.
She walked back into the cabin, tears still in her eyes. "I touched him mom" she quietly admitted. "I caused him so much pain. I hurt him mom."
She wasn't surprised. "Sometimes the living can sense us around them, but when we touch them our presence becomes overwhelming. Their emotional pain can overcome them sweetheart."
"I can't speak to him and I can't stop him mom."
"He makes his own decisions. It is always hard in the beginning." Her mother continued to explain "It gets easier and life goes on for them." He will get through it, just like you did and just like your dad did when you lost me. Kate pulled her mom into a hug and held on to her for a while. "It's been so long over there mom, it's been at least a year and he's still in so much pain."
"Kate. I know you want to watch over him, but this isn't good for you ether sweetheart. Now, I've got something to show you if you will come with me." Kate hesitated, "I promise you can come back here to watch over him, but there is still so much for you to see and experience Katie, " with that she nodded and took her mother's hands.
