Disclaimer: What the hell is wrong with Sorachi, what did we ever do to him to deserve all this pain?
NOTE ON THE TEXT: (*) means end of flashback.
How Fools Fall In Love
Chapter 7: Rules Are Meant To Not Be Broken
It wasn't often that Kagura arrived home alone, banged the front door shut and locked herself in the bedroom. Gintoki didn't like to acknowledge any behavior that might signal her impending puberty. He had faith her real father would show up before then and that he, Saint Gintoki, would be spared the agony of suffering another teenage maelstrom in his life. Kagura's strange mood could only be explained by one of two things: she was jealous of something a rich kid had that she hadn't, or she had done some irreparable stupid thing that had cost her her reputation at elementary school. Gintoki entertained these two possibilities till Otae came in huffing and puffing after Kagura, almost destroying what was left of the front door following Kagura's initial strike.
"I'm gonna kill that girl..." Otae muttered angrily under her breath. Her blood boiled and her nostrils flared. Her shoes had slid off her feet with such ease they might as well have melted.
Gintoki thought it wise to divest himself from his sluggish position on the couch, not wanting to fuel Otae's anger or give her any reason to shift her rage towards him. He kept his eyes glued to the TV screen and let her pace a few minutes in front of the bedroom while she cooled off. The few threats that escaped her mouth made his skin crawl. He pitied Kagura.
"Tomorrow you are coming with me to apologize to every single one of them! Their mothers too! Don't you think I won't hold you to it!" Otae sat down beside Gintoki after her ultimatum and glared at the center table in front of them.
"You're not gonna offer me anything to drink?"
Gintoki looked around in search of a miraculous secret cabinet where he might stash his booze but there was nothing of the sort. He shrugged his shoulders and changed channels.
"There's tap water." he mumbled.
"Then get me some tea," Otae replied, nodding towards the kitchen "Come on, move it!"
Gintoki got up with a heavy sigh and went to put the kettle on. Once up and about, he was more than glad at not having to share any proximity with the eldest Shimura. Her bad temper didn't agree well with his bowels, nor with his headache. He ought to call Shinpachi to take her away but he knew Otae wouldn't leave without giving him a piece of her mind. Whether Gintoki wanted to or not, he would not rest today before getting the full account of Kagura's misdeeds. And then some.
"It's all your fault, you know? Kids follow the example of their parents, she sees the miserable excuse you are for a human being and thinks it's okay. She just follows suit!" Otae began agitated, holding the TV remote with a crushing grip "It's not the first time I've gone to pick her up and found her fighting with the other kids, and it's certainly not the first time I've been mistaken for her mother, which I'm not! I'm not even twenty-six yet! I already have Shin-chan to worry about! I've gone through all this before with him and he wasn't even half the trouble she is." Otae took a pause to breathe and touch-up her makeup.
Gintoki's ears were full of wax. He focused on the bubbling sounds coming from the kettle, wondering if he should bring Kagura some tea as well.
"If I hadn't been there today I wouldn't insist on going tomorrow to apologize to the other moms, but you should know it falls on you! It's you who decided to keep her and be her guardian while her good-for-nothing father disappears whenever the hell he wants," Otae continued, putting her small makeup kit back in her bag "I don't even know how you get yourself mixed up in these things."
The wrinkles in Otae's forehead disappeared as Gintoki brought her the tea. She took a cup and sipped with eyes shut, desperate to regain back her composure. She was silent for a few minutes, drinking away. When she cleared her throat and spoke again, Gintoki was happy to hear her calling him by his name. The worst was over.
"Gin-san, I hope you have listened to everything I said. Please go talk to her and tell her she has to come to school tomorrow and apologize. It's what a lady should do," she put down her cup and stood up "I have to go now."
Gintoki followed her to the front door eager to see her out.
"Ah, Shinpachi said to tell you he won't be coming this week because he has to study for his tests."
"Sure." Gintoki nodded reluctantly. Otae wouldn't be Otae without impositions. He was about to close the door on her face when she held it back, her grip like a steel claw.
"I'm counting on you, Gin-san." were her last words before leaving.
It took all Gintoki had not to break what remained of his front door. He stomped back into his apartment dying for a distraction. He had one waiting for him, pigtails and all, orbiting the tea tray and snacks.
"Oi, oi, o-oi," Gintoki's voice quivered "You gotta be kidding me, get your hands off!"
"B-but... Gin-chan..." Kagura turned her best puppy eyes towards him, a move hard to ward off.
"What have you done now? I told you to ask the other kids first if you wanted their lunch." Gintoki moaned tiredly. He buried himself in the couch and filled his mouth with a handful of tea snacks. His voice was hoarse and the disappointment ringing in it made Kagura hunch her back. She poked a salty cracker with her finger, head bent down in shame.
"Doesn't look like anything good," Gintoki said. Kagura was silent.
"Want me to take you to school tomorrow? Shinpachi can't go. He's too busy studying." Gintoki had to hold back clicking his tongue. Kagura nodded meekly.
He took a deep breath, not knowing what to do or say. He hated seeing Kagura quiet and unreceptive. He would have been fine with a shrug, screaming, hair-pulling. Anything.
"You shut yourself there awhile," he tried again, alluding to her previous bedroom retreat "Have you done your homework at least? Otae is gonna kill you and me if you don't."
Kagura poked a hole in the cracker and shook her head.
"Then get on with it and spare us another go from the gorilla woman."
Kagura shook her head. Gintoki groaned.
"It's either that or spilling it out."
Kagura shook her head again.
"Neither of those options include playing with your food, oi!" Gintoki scolded and pulled back the plate of crumbling crackers. Kagura crossed her arms defiantly and looked the other way. Some of Gintoki's stubbornness had rubbed off on her alright.
"Fine!" he rubbed the back of his neck, distressed with his lack of options. His own inadequacy weighted on him and he cursed the day he had allowed this impromptu-family arrangement to happen. He only had one choice left at this point.
"Stay here, I'm gonna call Mitsuba-"
"NOOOO-!" Kagura lunged for his legs as he walked past her. Her weight threw him off and Gintoki fell face first onto the floor. A surge of pain added to his already nagging headache and he howled in misery, clutching his face.
"Gin-chan! Gin-chan! No! Not her! Noo, NO!" Kagura begged at his feet, her whole body entwined in his legs. He had to pushed her off with his free hand, mumbling whatever comforting words he could.
"Ohfkaywewonthgow-Kagulah, Kagulah, KAGURA!"
"Please don't take me there, Gin-chan! I'll do anything! I'll apologize to Anego! I'll eat all the crackers! I'll do my homework! Please not there!" Kagura swore by his knee, drool staining his pants.
"Okay, we won't go there. Just get off, go eat the crackers!"
Gintoki managed to get Kagura off him with his last order. She crawled back to the couch and wiped her snot and tears before beginning her busy chewing. Gintoki stumbled back up and noticed a trail of red on the back of his hand. His nose was bleeding.
"Shit."
"Bad word!" Kagura said in alarm, pointing the TV remote at him. Gintoki rolled his eyes and grunted, happy at least she was back to her usual self.
"I think I broke it." he mumbled, touching his nose lightly.
"I'm sorry Gin-chan." Kagura apologized. She set down the empty plate of crackers on the table and hugged him by the waist "I'll call Shinpa-"
"No, it's okay" Gintoki stopped her. He would rather die and have his nose fall off than bother another Shimura with their problems today. Yet, he didn't have much at home to fix a broken nose other than tap water, and going to the old hag was out of the question. Gintoki could still feel the mental hangover from that conversation.
"We're going out," he decided "The tea's gone cold any way."
Tama was sweeping the landing floor when Gintoki and Kagura went out. Her dedication baffling. She wore her maid attire as pristine and neat as the first time Gintoki had laid eyes on it, her green braid shone in the sunlight and not a drop of sweat glistened above her brow. She was the poster girl for duty and innocence, sure to make another dent on Gintoki's soft side. He couldn't be wary enough of her. He feared being a pure clean freak wasn't the only task Otose had entrusted her with.
"Hello, Kagura-chan, Gin-san! Oh-!" Tama's peaceful expression turned to worry once she noticed Gintoki's red nose "What happened to your face? You're bleeding. There's a stain on your shirt, I can wash it-"
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'll take care of it." he brushed her off and made it straight for the stairs.
"I can help if you-"
"No, we are late for my appointment with the vet." he replied, swiftly disappearing behind the stairs. Kagura followed close behind him, looking over her shoulder in the direction of Mitsuba's front door.
"Shut up you idiot, she's gonna hear us!" Kagura whispered by his ear, pulling him down by his hoodie.
Tama followed both of them out of the building, eager to be of service yet bereft of any opportunity. They left before exchanging another word. Sadaharu came to sit beside her, sad to see his owner go without so much as a pat on the head. Tama caressed his fur pitifully, letting out a sigh.
"Otose-sama won't like this."
Ikumatsu's shop was closed while the staff kept busy in the kitchen preparing for dinner time. She met Gintoki and Kagura by the front and welcomed them in with a big scowl, which was only forgotten on account of Gintoki's somewhat disfigured face.
"This is a ramen shop, not a hospital." Ikumatsu told him bluntly.
"Kagura was hungry." Gintoki replied, confident in his pretext.
"I think I'm gonna die.." Kagura said with a melodramatic swoon. No self-respectable adult would have ignored the plight of such a cute little girl, Ikumatsu included. She gave both idiots a faint smile and let them in.
"They're almost done back there, I'll tell them to bring you a bowl." Ikumatsu said while helping Kagura sit at the counter stool. Kagura grinned in return and swung her legs happily from the tall seat.
"Now you come with me." Ikumatsu led Gintoki to a back room and brought out the first-aid kit from the kitchen "Can't remember the last time I saw you around here," she said with a tinge of amusement "What happened?"
"Kagura tackled me and I fell. Your place was the nearest cheapest thing." Gintoki said, averting his eyes.
"Let me look at this then." Ikumatsu tilted his chin up, forcing him to look her way. His stubble grazed her fingertips.
Ikumatsu was an attractive woman. Pleasing face, blond hair, nice eyes. Even her nature recommended her: polite, hardworking, caring. Gintoki couldn't fathom how Katsura had even stumbled upon her in his shady reclusive life. It seemed a waste to have a woman like her tied to a ramen shop, sweating day and night to feed the useless pigs of the town and burning brain cells listening to Katsura's crazy ramblings. Nevertheless, every pore of her seemed content and Gintoki couldn't pinpoint a single day when she had looked anything but at peace. He envied her more than he might lust after her. And he loathed the fact she might perceive that. Her honest, clear gaze pierced through him. He already regretted coming to her for the patch-up.
"It's not bad, I'll just clean the blood and give you something for the swelling. This might sting." she warned.
Gintoki winced as she applied a cold compress to his battered nose. He hissed at the contact but soon the coolness gave him relief.
"I expect a hot bowl after all this suffering you're putting me through." he grumbled.
"Don't push it, even my employees are starting to resent your tab." she reproached him, applying a bit more pressure than needed. Gintoki yelped.
"Alright! I think it's fine now!"
Blame Ikumatsu's good heart, another bowl of steaming hot ramen was brought from the kitchen and put on the counter. Gintoki sat beside Kagura with a grunt, her own bowl already finished and licked.
"Gin-chan I'm sorry for fighting with the other kids. I'm sorry for everything. I didn't mean to hurt you." Kagura mumbled gloomily. Gintoki looked at her from the corner of his eye while blowing the steam off his ramen. She seemed repentant enough.
"You're still going to school tomorrow and you're gonna apologize 'cause that's what a lady does, or whatever." Gintoki told her, echoing Otae's words. He noticed Ikumatsu watching them from the kitchen entrance and color rose to his cheeks "Just do as Otae says, ok?"
"Yeah." Kagura nodded.
Gintoki finished his ramen in silence while Kagura went to help Ikumatsu open shop.
"Sorry for the trouble," he told the older woman when she came to take his empty bowl "And thank you. I'll pay you back."
Ikumatsu stopped a moment to think.
"Would you mind doing me a favor then?"
"Does it have anything to do with Zura?" Gintoki replied dryly "'Cause if it has then I'd rather not."
"He forgot a few things last time he was here. I think they are important, let me go get them."
Gintoki stayed rooted to his spot, trying to ignore the itch on his nose. He had lied to himself thinking he could leave the place without getting involved in one of Zura's predicaments. Ikumatsu returned with a leather bag filled with papers and books. She handed it over to him and Gintoki almost let it fall to the ground unaware of its weight.
"The hell is this?!" he exclaimed, swinging the strap over his shoulder.
"Work I expect. He's been holed up at college all week and I've been too busy to go there. Please take it to him, it might be important."
Gintoki nodded and reassured her he would go after she forced him to promise on it.
"And don't be angry at Kagura-chan, she's just a girl after all." Ikumatsu added with a smile.
Gintoki frowned confused and saw Ikumtasu give him a wink before resuming her work. He had definitely missed something.
While he contemplated the meaning of Ikumatsu's words on the sidewalk, Kagura was already marching her way home a dozen feet away. Her good spirits had returned after gobbling down Ikumatsu's ramen and, Gintoki suspected, having Ikumatu lend her an understanding ear. She was skipping down the street, no awareness or worry, when she bumped into a tall brooding figure.
"Oi! Watch where you're goin-!" she stopped her fussing when she recognized the face above hers "It's Garbage-san!"
Gintoki heard enough words to catch his attention but it was only when he looked in Kagura's direction that he submitted to the situation completely. Hijikata did that to him always, against his will.
"We have nothing for you today, Trashman." Gintoki blurted out. The contrast was too much for him to handle at the moment. Hijikata in his sharp suit, straight out of his big-shot police office, going home to his fancy apartment, filled with fancy furniture and the fancy view. Gintoki wanted to hurl. The stubble on his own face, which hadn't bothered him ten minutes ago, felt like it was consuming his flesh. His swollen nose, considered a national catastrophe by now, throbbed and ached for a bag of ice; his whole body request a heavy dosage of pain killers to assuage his existence. To add up, Gintoki had the unfortunate impulse of looking at a passing car and saw his reflection on the shiny windows. His confidence plummeted to the ends of the Earth.
"Did she fix it for you?" Hijikata asked. Gintoki turned to him with a furrowed brow. He had been expecting a jab or a sneer. He barely got the question.
"What?"
"Her." Hijikata answered, nodding in the direction of Ikumatsu's shop.
"Yeah." Gintoki replied absentmindedly.
"Couldn't get through the door, uh?" Hijikata joked and took a long drag on his cigarette.
There it was, the jab. Gintoki couldn't help snorting. It suited Hijikata better than some half-assed inquiry after his health. Gintoki was surprised he even remembered Ikumatsu at all.
"What a laugh, right?" Gintoki wanted to smile but his self-consciousness stopped him.
"You're always pretty much a laugh."
"And you always walk over to this part of town for a laugh?" Gintoki gave himself a mental pat on the back for the comment, his lips turned up smugly, but Hijikata's stunted reaction undid his merry boost. A burning iron seared his gut.
"I-I went to check on Mitsuba, heard she was sick." Hijikata replied, anxious to get rid of his flush.
"Guess we're all cursed on this side of the rainbow." Gintoki said somberly, the butterflies in his stomach dissipating. Kagura tugged on his arm more keenly now and Gintoki took after her.
"Time doesn't stop for the kids," he said "See ya."
"Bye Garbage-san!"
Gintoki resumed his walk, following Kagura's eager steps home, but a hand pulled him back. Gintoki's nose twitched painfully with the sudden turn. Hijikata's clear blue eyes zoomed closer.
"Is she..."
Their bodies were in close contact. If Gintoki looked down he could probably peer down Hijikata's shirt collar and catch a glimpse of the smooth perfumed skin underneath. But most of what he saw was Hijikata's grip on his forearm and most of what he smelled was smoke. He didn't even register his words. The butterflies made a sterling comeback.
"What did you say?" Gintoki's voice was barely audible. His eyes went up and met Hijikata's and for a second the world stopped. Hijikata's stare lowered and so did his. Gintoki licked his lips in anticipation, a breath caught in his throat.
"Nevermind." Hijikata shrugged and pulled back, leaving Gintoki standing still against the wind.
The bedroom went dark after Kagura switched off the lights. She hopped over to her futon next to Gintoki's and dove under the covers. He was already lying down with an ice pack on his nose, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in.
"Can I get an ice pack too?" Kagura asked.
"What for? You think you'll need one for tomorrow after Otae gets you from school?" Gintoki rambled. He always did so when he was unsettled.
"No, it just looks fun." Kagura replied with a pout.
"I'll let you play with this one when I'm done with it."
"No way! It's gonna be all smelly and dirty!"
"And watery."
"And watery!" Kagura repeated after him.
"Kinda defeats the point then, doesn't it?"
"Gin-chan?"
Gintoki hummed in reply, noticing Kagura's change of tone.
"Are you still angry with me?"
"About what?"
"Your nose. I'm-"
"No. Just go to sleep. My nose won't heal if you keep apologizing to it."
"But you've been weird." Kagura complained.
"Me weird?" Gintoki scoffed "You're the one going crazy at school and running from Otae. I thought you had a death wish when I saw you rushing in this morning."
Kagura fell silent.
Gintoki cleared his throat to get rid of the guilt. He had no way to tell her the real reason why he was tenser than usual. He loathed to even admit it but he couldn't handle the paranoia permeating the afternoon's turn of events. Namely the secondhand smoking that followed the swollen nose and the bowl of free ramen. It had been too close an encounter.
"Are you going to tell me what happened or what?" Gintoki said, desperate to end the subject.
"Okay..." Kagura mumbled, pulling the covers up to her nose "The kids at school were making fun of me."
"So? Did you make fun of them back?" Gintoki replied, his logic pretty solid.
"No."
"Why not? What did they say?"
Kagura groaned and hid her head under the pillow. Gintoki felt his eyelids growing heavy. He was too tired to argue. Kagura's elementary school skirmish floated aimlessly in his mind.
"They said a boy likes me."
Gintoki's eyes jolted open with surprise. The dark room lightened somehow. Gintoki had to contain a laugh and a frown at the same time. He shifted to look at Kagura but he could only distinguish a lump in her futon. Her shyness amused him.
"So what?" he replied nonchalantly. Kagura's head resurfaced.
"I don't like him!" she declared offended "I hate him!"
"Good. Then that's the end of that." Gintoki stated. The lesser deal they made of it the better. He didn't want Kagura to obsess over it and drive everyone insane. Besides, he felt a bit embarrassed having this kind of talk with a nine year old.
"But I really really really really really don't like him, Gin-chan!" Kagura insisted. She had left her cocoon in the covers and crawled over to Gintoki's futon "Why did they say that? Can I send Sadaharu after them? They deserve it!"
"Oioioi, Princess Mononoke are you going to school to apologize or to terrorize them?" Gintoki wondered outraged "Don't worry about it, after Otae goes there tomorrow they won't pick on you again."
"Will Anego protect me?" Kagura's eyes shone from fighting back tears of frustration.
"Yeah. Just tell her what happened." Gintoki reasoned, though his answer begged the question: who would protect the other kids from Otae? He tried not to indulge the thought.
Kagura nodded and slunk back into her futon without further objections. Gintoki adjusted the ice pack on his nose and heaved a sigh of relief, glad to have put the elementary school drama to rest. He closed his eyes ready to sleep but a couple of obtrusive recollections prevented him. A new light shone upon little snippets of his day and he was forced to reconsider the whole thing. Ikumatsu's comment for starters. It was obvious Kagura had told her the reason why she had been fighting at school. Maybe she had even told her who the boy in question was. The whole outburst over Mitsuba's made sense now too. Kagura wouldn't want to mention it in front of her demonic rival, Okita Sougo. He would have had ammunition against her for ages, she would be old and wrinkly before he finally stopped picking on her and Gintoki would have taken the brunt of it. He could barely believe the amount of trouble he had evaded. Or maybe, maybe Okita was...
"No." The thought was so disturbing Gintoki rejected it aloud.
"Gin-chan shut up, bad dreams aren't real."
"No they aren't, right Kagura-chan? Right? Right? Right?"
Kagura snored.
Gintoki's thoughts inevitably spiraled down to his own messy life and he fell asleep wishing solutions came as easy for him as they did for Kagura.
9 YEARS AND 3 MONTHS AGO
Midday and the dorm was empty. Gintoki had returned from another quick job he had promised Hasegawa's wife, done more out of sympathy than anything else. He trudged towards the kitchen and nicked two cans of beer from the communal fridge, private property be damned. He deserved them.
The vacant living room tempted him and he plastered himself in front of the TV enjoying his solitude. His stomach growled with hunger but his sore muscles rooted him to the floor. Being alone had its disadvantages. His eyes fixed on the screen, glassy and out of focus, while his pricked ears sounded the house for any movement. No unfortunate soul turned up for him to lord over, but he heard noises upstairs. They came from his room. Gintoki scratched his chin in deliberation, wondering what the hell Hijikata was doing back so early.
His curiosity led him upstairs, hunger forgotten. He could do with a bit of banter at the moment to dispel the boredom.
"They kicked you out of college yet? I have a spare beer I might be persuaded to share- what the hell?" Gintoki's taunt fell on dumb ears. His jaw clenched and his brows furrowed.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, you sick woman!?"
It had been a while since Sarutobi Ayame had made an appearance at the dorm, at least to Gintoki's knowledge. After the last three hundred times he had caught her snooping around in his room, he had specifically asked Zenzou to warn him in advance whenever she followed him home.
"Ah! Gin-san~ I didn't see you there, how embarrassing!" she whimpered. She was sprawled over Gintoki's futon in the same position he had caught her smelling his sheets. He regretted not having stored his futon back in the closet earlier, but riling Hijikata with his lack of tidiness had won him over.
"Get out." Gintoki ordered. He walked over to her, willing to drag her out if necessary. A moan stuck in Sacchan's throat at his commanding voice.
"Oh no~ Gin-san!"
"Let it go." Gintoki kicked his pillow away and pulled back the sheets she was clinging onto.
"No way! I've never been this close to Gin-san's drool before, you can't make me!" she cried out desperately with a smile on her face.
"Oh can't I? Can't I?" Gintoki sneered, his anger boiling.
"Yes you can! Make me! Make me!" Sacchan yelled in ecstasy. The sheets slid between her thighs and she squeezed her legs enjoying the friction.
"You fucking pervert, let go!" Gintoki gave the sheets a fierce tug but Sacchan persisted, moaning in response.
"Harder! Harder!"
Gintoki towed her by the sheets around the room, panic and rage firing him up. Her noises were beginning to fog his judgment and his hormones clogged his system. He looked down at her and saw her skirt had creased up, showing her panties. He threw his head back in despair.
"This isn't happening! Fuck off!"
He tripped on the mattress and lost his balance, bringing Sacchan down with him. They were in a compromising position, disheveled clothes and sheets between them, when Hijikata walked in. For a second Gintoki thought it was Zenzou coming to save him from his crazy deviant childhood friend but Hijikata was a million times worse. It didn't even compute in Gintoki's brain at first, nor did he see his face. He had a pair of breasts obstructing his view.
"Hattori!? Don't just fucking stand there, help me! Take this freak off me!" Gintoki exclaimed. He dodged a boob to the face and then he saw it, Hijikata's pale white face of stupefaction. Gintoki froze completely, his voice vanished. Sacchan noticed him go quiet and turned around in annoyance.
"Can't you see we're busy here?! Go away-!" she stopped mid-sentence once she acknowledged the stranger "Gin-san, who is this?"
His brain ignored the question. He had his eyes lost in Hijikata's stone cold gaze and his heartbeat drummed deafeningly without reason.
"I own half this room. You have one minute." Hijikata declared. His tone chilled the room and he stepped out to give them what privacy they had left.
Sacchan stood up with a pout and straightened her skirt, her face red with fury. She didn't do shame.
"The fuck is it with him? How can you put up with this, Gin-san? I thought you were a sadist not a maso-"
Gintoki shoved her towards the door before her big mouth could do more damage. But she fought against him, digging her heels on the tatami floor.
"Ah, Gin-san, not so rough~"
"Just go back to the hole you crawled from, fucking perv! Get out!" Gintoki gave her shoulders one last push and she was out. He closed the door behind her and lent his back against it for good measure.
He stood a while trying to catch his breath, his dignity waning. The last few minutes replayed in a blur. Hijikata's upset face was the only thing clear in his head. Anger and remorse ate Gintoki's insides. He hated it. Then the sounds of a flushing toilet were heard resonating through the dorm, announcing Zenzou's long-awaited departure from the bathroom. A dozen veins popped in Gintoki's forehead. He wanted to kill the bastard for letting that deranged lunatic roam the house freely. While Gintoki had been in his room fighting for his life, the suffering fool had been in the crapper, most definitely reading Jump and contemplating the spams of his rectum.
"That fucking bastard." Gintoki muttered, rubbing the strain off his eyes.
"That's my line, dumbass!" Hijikata came storming in, this time throwing his heavy school bag directly into Gintoki's gut and staggering him. Gintoki would've replied something nasty in return but the blow drove all the air out of his lungs.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Bringing a girl in here?! To our room? MY room? You know the rules, asshole!"
"That's rich... coming from you," Gintoki said, panting "We agreed about smoking too, but that doesn't stop your stupid ass from smoking all over the place! You think I don't notice, oi?!"
"You're really comparing smoking to stuff like that!?" Hijikata exclaimed, pointing a finger towards Gintoki's futon in accusation. A slight blush rose to his face.
"It's not my fault!" Gintoki shouted in his own defense. He didn't even know why he felt so guilty. "Zenzou was the one who brought her! I thought no one was home and then I found her here, she's like a stalker or something-"
"You're not even denying it!" Hijikata cut him off.
"Why would I?! Nothing happened, so calm the fuck down Vegeta, your whining is draining my life force." Gintoki replied. He just wanted to forget the whole thing.
"My what?" Hijikata whispered in disbelief "No."
Gintoki had his back turned when Hijikata seized his forearm and pushed him against the wall. He had grabbed him so violently Gintoki heard his shirt rip where it met the sleeve.
"Shit! Are you fucking crazy? Look what you did to my shirt-!?"
"No more girls here, you hear me."
Gintoki heard him alright. He saw more than he heard though, given the sudden proximity. He lifted his eyes from the hole in his shirt up towards Hijikata's stern face. The blush had gone from his cheeks and his intense stare dug straight into Gintoki's soul. He hoped the wall swallowed him before Hijikata's hostility did.
Hope wasn't Gintoki's strong suit.
"Just us boys then." he said.
Hijikata's frown deepened, his fists curled and Gintoki expected him to aim one at his face at any moment. However, Hijikata's lips were closer and Gintoki's eyes couldn't pull away. He placed his hands gently on Hijikata's wrists and leaned in, led by Hijikata's stillness. Perhaps he was just as stunned as Gintoki was, just as insane. Some part of Gintoki blamed the hormonal surge Sacchan's advances had unleashed in him before, some part knew exactly what was happening.
A knock at the door made both of them jump. They broke away from each other, relishing the distance.
"Yooo, sorry about Sarutobi. I had to go to the toilet and left her alone. I really needed to, that one couldn't be stopped and I had to get one of the old Jump issues to help me with the pain, you know, it takes my mind off it. One of the old issues with Hanger x Hanger chapters, really brings tears to my eyes that-"
"It's your painful shits that bring tears to your eyes, you fucking idiot!" Gintoki cried out. His heart still going a million miles per second.
Hijikata slipped out of the room amidst their argument.
"Is he going out already? I just heard him coming in." Zenzou wondered confused.
"He's a moody bastard."
(*****)
AN: This took me the longest time, I'm so sorry! I spent a lot of time editing stuff out and pushing it to later chapters. I hope they'll turn out well. Once again there were a lot of domestic scenes in this one and I seem to be writing more about the female characters than the two main idiots. I don't think I'll apologize for that haha. As always, thank you for reading and giving me your support. It just makes it all worth it. Next chapter both Gintoki and Hijikata are gonna receive some very unsettling news.
