Hey, so here's the last chapter… I apologize if it's not up to par…..I'm kind of in a mood.. But I'll try my best.
- Sierra.
Part I -
Chapter 7 - Making Amends
Edward's POV
Things were getting better, for the most part. I figured that I could at least compose myself enough to see her now, which came in handy considering that I was going to be spending a lot of time with her and Jacob for a few days. I met up with the pack before the rest of my family, I couldn't stay inside the house any longer.
We composed our plan of attack, carefully guarding the hiking trails. It was time to wait, and Jacob showed up a while later.
Jacob's POV
I didn't stay the whole night, And I felt bad about it.
I met up with everyone around seven in the morning. Edward was already there, able to read my carefully composed thoughts…was Bella the only one would couldn't do that to me? …It felt that way. And it was one of the many reasons why I loved her, she was normal, she was a break from my everyday folklore lifestyle.
I sent Embry to pick her up around noon. We needed her to be here, where she could stand protected.
Bella's POV
Jake called around nine, and told me Embry would come get me around noon. I didn't mind being with Embry…But I wanted Jake to come get me.
It bothered me that he felt that he had to leave early every morning. I guess the whole being a Mind reading Vampire thing did have its advantages.
Not that I missed him or anything…
I wondered how many times I would have to repeat that to myself before I began to believe it…
Of course, I didn't want to be with Edward. But, I did want to be friends with him. If he didn't want to be then of course…I'd understand. But, leaving things the way they were was completely unacceptable.
Embry did show up. And the ride to La Push was short.
"Bella!" I heard Jake call as he came running from the edge up the forest as I stepped out of Jake's car.
He pulled me into one of his breathtakingly irresistible hugs, and kissed me before allowing my feet to touch the ground, I would never get sick of that. I loved it.
"So, what are we doing…I can't exactly read anyone's mind. So, I'm pretty out of the loop." I grimaced.
"You are coming with me and Edward, and we're going to stay with you until this all blows over. We've got a campsite set up where we're thinking Victoria will show up next." I shivered at her name. And my heart stuttered at the mention of Edward. I would get my time to talk today…but, did I really know what I would say? Without hurting him any more than I already had?
"Okay, and What does Charlie think about this?" I smirked lightly.
"Oh, well…Alice told him you were staying at their house, of course."
"Jake! Why? What if something happens to me? Charlie's going to be on them like crazy!" I panicked, and Jacob laughed at my reaction, that angered me.
"Bella, Bella. Calm down, nothing is going to happen to you…I promise." Jacob's hand trailed down my arm comfortingly. I couldn't help but believe him, he always seemed so confident about things…I wondered why I couldn't be more like that?
It had begun to rain as we reached the campsite that Edward and Jacob had put together earlier this morning. I decided to wait until things had settled down to speak to Edward.
Edward's POV
I couldn't feel angry with her, never in my life…could I ever be angry with her. She was so incredibly fragile, and I knew if I set anymore pain upon her I would never forgive myself. I breathed in her scent when she reached the small tent we had set up. I had missed it, so much. I restrained my urge to hug her, to even touch her…just one last time. To kiss her lips, to be able to get so close, to breathe in her scent more clearly. Anything to stop feeling the way I felt. It was much like when I'd left her last winter. Except I knew I had to stay strong…she needed us right now. I would have to wait to allow myself to completely fall apart. We had a beautiful girl to protect right now, I'd do everything in my power to make that happen. To make her safe.
"I brought you a blanket, and a few changes of clothes. Just in case…I don't know how long we'll be out here." Jacob spoke to her, and I could see the love in both pairs of eyes. She went into the tent, and Jacob followed, I felt no jealousy. She was happy. That was enough, no matter how much I missed her…that would be enough for me. I figured one day, missing her wouldn't be so hard, once I saw her…happy. Even in another man's arms…even if that man was my mortal enemy. It seemed easy enough to make peace when it came to her happiness, for both of us. I had to give it to Jacob, he'd matured a lot since I'd first come back to Forks. He seemed more relaxed about the idea of having vampire's around.
Jacob's POV.
Well, this was different.
It was strange, to have Edward outside the tent while Bella and I were at ease inside. She shivered when she touched the ground, so I currently had her in my lap.
"Jacob…" She began, turning around to look at me. "I'm going to warn you, I plan on talking to Edward later. I have some things to clear up." She finished.
"I understand." Her expression looked confused. "Like I've said, I'm not going to stop you from doing anything you want or need to do." I added quickly.
"Thank you, Jacob." She kissed me lightly, and then did something unexpected. She turned, and straddled me, kissing me more deeply now. I welcomed it, and kissed her back. It went on for what seemed like an eternity.
"Bella." I breathed. "We can't do this now." I spoke before she went too far, she had already managed to strip me of my shirt.
"I know." She grimaced, handing me my shirt.
"I'm sorry, Bella. If we were anywhere else…I swear. You have no idea." I looked down, and she smiled.
"I know." She laughed now, and kissed me one last time. "Trust me, I know." She kissed my chest, and removed herself. She went to sit on the other side of the tent, but I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close again. She smiled.
How could she always be so adorable?
She fell asleep later, and I asked Edward to stay with her while I went back home to take a shower. I knew that Edward had seen what had happened earlier. That made me slightly uncomfortable, but I was sure she had reacted that way toward him at one point. I knew they had never gone too far, she had explained that too me once. That he was set in all of his decisions, and boundaries were regularly enforced.
Edward's POV
I sat inside the tent silently, careful not to wake her. I felt the hysteria cave in on me…I remembered sneaking into her room on several occasions…before we had become anything…before we had declared ourselves to each other…just to watch her sleep, to hear her dreams.
Jacob was gone for now, probably not for long though.
It was two in the morning, and Jacob still hadn't returned. I worried, something I didn't think I could ever do in the case of someone like Jacob. But, I did. For the sake of Bella's heart, I worried.
She stirred, and moved to face me, her eyes were still closed…so she must have still been asleep.
Slowly, but surely, her eyes began to open. She sat up, rubbing her eyes as she realized someone was missing.
"Where's Jake?" She yawned.
"He went home to take a shower." I replied, smirking at the way her eyes lit up as she said his name. I decided to leave out the part where he'd been gone for more than two hours.
"Oh, so he get's to take a shower? That's just Beautiful." She said sarcastically. I chuckled.
"I suppose he'll allow you to shower when he comes back."
There was a long silence, neither of us moved.
"Edward," She began to speak, and it were as if she'd been waiting to say something important. "I'm really sorry."
I looked up, meeting her gaze.
"I didn't mean for things to get like this, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But, I couldn't allow myself to marry you if I was so caught up in …someone else." I understood completely. I wouldn't want her to marry me against her will, nor did I want her to marry me if she wanted so badly to be with anyone else.
"Bella, I understand better than you may give me credit for." I spoke clearly and sternly, her expression looked extremely vulnerable.
"I just, I don't want you to be angry with me…or Jacob. I don't want to have to withdraw from either of you. I need you both, more than you think I do. It's just that, with Jacob I need him more than a brother, or a friend, or even a best friend. But, I don't want to hurt either of you. I'm in love with Jacob, he is my entire world. He makes me happy, and it's been so long since I've felt that way…No offense, of course. But, I love you too. I mean you were my first love, of course I'm always going to love you. But, I need you now as a best friend, or a brother. Do you see what I mean? I don't want to say goodbye to you. I still need you just as much as I needed you before…just in different ways." Her words rang in my head. And I did understand.
"I understand completely." I nodded, and hugged her, something I was sure was okay…considering we were just friends now. Friends. I didn't cringe at the word, I welcomed it. I didn't want to say goodbye either. So this was the ultimate choice. To be friends.
"Thank you, so much." She spoke, and her tears began to spill over. I placed my hands on both sides of her face, and held it tightly.
"Bella, you have nothing to be scared, or unsure of. I'm not lying to you. I'm happy for you." As I spoke the words they became more truthful.
"You're happy for me?" She questioned.
"Extremely. Jacob makes you happy. All I want is for you to be happy."
"So even if I were in love with say…a giant rabid squirrel?…what about that." She was joking around now, I chuckled.
"Whatever makes you happy." I replied.
"Well, that's no fun…What if I were…in love with.. Mike Newton?" She joked more. Though this one didn't sound like a very well thought out joke. She knew of my preference for the humans, that they were always more suited for her.
"You know how I feel about that. But, are you honestly comparing a giant rabid squirrel with Mike Newton?"
"They seem about the same to me." She shrugged, and I laughed. Jacob's humor had begun to rub off on her.
"Okay, how about…if I were in love with…One of the newborns Victoria's bringing to kill us?" All humor left my face, and my mind. Was she serious?
"Are you insane? Like I wasn't bad enough…Bella. That's not even funny. And it would be completely unacceptable." I said sternly. She laughed, and something about the situation had me laughing too.
"So, you're fine with humans, werewolves, and giant rodents…but when it comes to your own kind, you become furious." She cleared the air.
"You know how I feel about what I am." She nodded, allowing that.
"It was a joke, though." She nudged my arm.
"I know." I nudged back. Jacob came back then, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Bella's POV
The worst was over, and we had agreed to be friends.
Jacob came back, and settled into the tent, pulling me into his lap.
"So, did we clear the air?" Jacob asked us both.
"Yes, we did, actually." I smiled, and so did Edward. I couldn't believe that this had worked out so simply…I waited for someone to pinch me and say it was just a dream. But, no one did.
"Well, uh, Edward can I talk to you for a minute?" Jake spoke, a look of concern flashed across his face. And even though I knew Edward could read his mind, something was off…even Edward seemed to look confused.
Edward's POV
Jacob and I walked away from the tent, not far enough that we couldn't see it though. Whatever it was, Jacob didn't want Bella to hear.
"They got to Seth and Quil." Jacob spoke quietly, but urgently. "Sam took them to his house, Emily's taking care of them right now. They may not be able to help us, the injuries are going to take at least a week to heal."
I was furious. The entire pack felt like family. And nothing stood in between me and family.
"So, they're here." I managed to get out.
He said nothing, he just nodded.
"I think we need to have Bella go to Emily's. I think she'll be safer there." He said, speaking as though she could hear us.
"Jacob, I agree with that. But, I think that if we go out there and fight. She's going to be upset with us. And we can't just stay here and watch everyone else get hurt out there."
"I know she'll be upset, she's been upset before. But, this is to keep her safe. I'm sure she'll find a way to understand that. She has too." Jacob spoke, and there was an edge to his voice. Like he didn't know when he'd see her next. And edge that I remembered clearly. Something that now haunted both of us. Our mission to protect something so infinitely precious…Bella.
"Edward, don't tell her that Seth and Quil are hurt. You know how she gets."
"Won't she find out soon enough? If she's going to go to Emily's?"
"Yes, of course, she'll know. But, we need to keep her calm as long as possible. We don't have time for petty arguments. And I don't want to argue with her right now."
I agreed completely. She had been upset about this before. If she could always forgive me so easily, surely she could forgive Jacob. And we Had to help them, two of us were already out of the game. And that was enough. No more chances could be taken.
We walked back to the campsite, and I was sure Bella had heard parts of our conversation.
She sat in the corner of the tent, her legs hugged to her chest, and her arms were wrapped around her as though she were about to fall apart. I recognized the stance. From Jacob's memory of her. The Bella that I had created when I left. It hurt more to see it with my own eyes opposed to his.
Bella's POV
My family was getting hurt. For me to take this easily I'd have to be completely desensitized. Of course I'd heard their conversation. And I was close to just leaving, walking away from all of it…and straight into the grasp of Victoria herself. I'd rather have her torture me to death, than watch her slowly kill off all of the people that I loved.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked them, I didn't want to go to Emily's, I didn't want them to leave. I didn't want to worry, I knew that if Seth and Quil were injured…then Jacob could get hurt too. Tears had become elaborate on my face, and I felt Jacob's arm cradle me. I changed my stance, once Jacob was here…I didn't need to hold myself together.
"Bella, we have to. We have to defend our territory. We can't let anyone else get hurt, we can't afford it." Jacob's voice was in my ear.
"I can't afford to have either of you get hurt." I whispered back, I knew they could both hear me.
"Bella, I know you don't want either of us to go. But we have to keep you safe." Jacob spoke again. Edward looked as though someone had smacked him. It was then that I realized what my previous stance had reminded him of. I shuddered. I went up to Edward and wrapped my arms around his waist, he didn't move, he looked like a ghost.
"Edward, I'm going to be okay. There's nothing to worry about. Okay? Stop. I'm fine." His eyes searched mine.
"I promise you, Edward. I'll be alright." I spoke, I think we all knew I was lying.
"I'm sorry. Truly, to see it through his eyes was one thing. But, to see it with my own, it's unbearable. To see you hurt like that. Unbearable." He hugged me back, though I knew what he truly wanted. It was written all over his face. And I would have, for his benefit…had Jacob not been watching.
"It's alright, Edward. Just forget it ever happened, alright?" I pressed my head against his chest.
"That's impossible. I can't believe that I did that to you. How could I have been so…selfish." His expression broke my heart.
"Edward, leaving me was the most selfless thing you've ever done. You did it for me, remember? And I'm extremely glad that you did. Look how happy I am now. And it's because of you. Never forget that."
"I'm so sorry." His face was at my neck now, and I knew that if blood ran through his veins, if his heart was beating…he'd be crying right now. I felt terrible, I'd never wanted him to see me like that.
"There's nothing to apologize for." I said, subtly kissing his chest, when I knew Jacob wasn't watching. He pulled away at that, realizing that was as well as I could fulfill his wish. I went back inside, and sat in front of Jacob.
