Chapter Six: Deeper Than I Thought
I just waited for his reaction, and looked up at him shyly. His face was a mix between happy and surprised. I licked my lips, feeling them getting dry, and set my guitar down on the bed.
"Wow.. Deenie.. That was really good. Your voice is beautiful. What's that song about?"
"Oh.. Thank you.. I wrote it for my father." I appeased.
"Okay, let me reread the lyrics now that I know that.." I waited as his eyes skimmed the pages, left, right, left, right, left, right, left.. He closed the notebook and handed it to me, smiling.
"You're an amazing singer, guitarist, songwriter, basketball player, and you're beautiful. That, and you're super strong, mentally and physically.. I don't know how you do it." He gushed. I start blushing and look down to my feet, which are kicking the bed, up and down, each leg moving an opposite direction.
"I don't think I'm anything special. I was always told that I'm not." I confessed quietly.
"You are though.. Deenie?"
"H-huh?"
"I never thought I'd say this before but," he took a deep breath, "Deenie will you go out with me?"
I gasped. "Really? I've never had a date before, though."
"That's okay, will you though?"
"Oh uh.. Sure? But.. But I don't know how to do anything."
"I don't mind, I could teach you." He replied, sitting next to me on the bed. He put his arm around me and tried to kiss me.
"Woah woah woah, hold up now! I said I'd go out with you, sort of, then three seconds later you try to suck my face!" I yell, pushing him away. He's moving WAY too fast. I'm regretting partially saying yes already.
"Sorry.. Every other girl I've been with kissed me as soon as I asked them out. You didn't so I thought I had to."
"Marc, the most you will ever get out of me is a hug." I retorted.
"Well then we aren't even going out if we don't kiss."
"I just said 'sure' as a spur of the moment. I know the only reason you even asked me is because you think I'm pretty."
"No that's not true, I listened to your song and stuff."
"If I looked like Megan Morrow at school, but everything else was the same would you ask me?"
"Well.."
"No, you wouldn't, I knew it!" I sneered, giving him a mean look.
"You're not nearly as pretty with that look on your face." He mused, grinning at me.
"I don't care! The only reason I even went through all this trouble is because you asked me to! So if you don't like it, I'll wipe it all off! Screw that!"
"Wait! Don't do that!"
"No I won't wait, and yes I'm going to do just that. And Marc.. Though it lasted all of 2 minutes, I'm breaking up with you. You're so.. Weird. You know what? I don't consider you my first boyfriend." I babbled angrily.
"You were just fine until I tried to kiss you!" He responded, sounding confused.
"Well remember what you said, and I quote, 'I'm different', and I am. I'm not like other girls."
"It's not even a big deal, you kiss your dad all the time!"
"Do I?"
".." He paused, then thought about what he said. A little late aren't we?
"No. I don't. I haven't kissed my dad since I was like 3. Next time think before you say something stupid. Just leave Marc. Please. We'll both pretend this never even happened."
"Deenie, I'm sorry-"
"You're not sorry! And you don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone! This is the last straw, I don't wanna hurt anymore."
"No really I'm sorry please forgive me-"
"You can tell me that you're sorry but I don't believe you like I did before. You're not sorry."
He just nodded sadly, and left the room. I yelled after him to close the door, he did, and then I heard dad and him talk for roughly 20 seconds before the door downstairs closed. I look out my window, it's really dark outside and all the stars are out, no clouds. Marc is getting in his ugly old Slug Bug, and driving away. I leave the window to lock my door. A quietly as I can manage, I climb out my window and on to the roof. I make my way very slowly to the flattest part of our roof, which is just above where the attic is. I keep a plastic tub of blankets up there. I open the tub and pull out one of my favorite quilts. It's a beautiful midnight blue color, and the patches are all different pictures of the moon from various fabrics. Then at the bottom is an embroided "Deenie's Quilt" in white. My grandma gave this to me when I was just 6 years old and I've had it since then. I set it next to me, then pull out a purple fleece blanket. I spread the fleece over the flat part of the roof, then lay down my quilt over it. I flatten the wrinkles, then lay down on it, resting my chin on my folded arms. The sky is a beautiful, dark, indigo towards the horizon and a navy blue everywhere else. The stars are shining very brightly tonight, it's so pretty. It's like someone sprinkled diamonds across the night sky. I close my eyes and start thinking.
I allow my mind to wonder, and it goes through a few subjects. My song, my guitar, my dad, my mom(or at least the hollow shell of her), my radio, that song Billie Jean, and it stopped at Michael Jackson again. I thought about what little I knew about him. His name sounds kind of like a black name, so he's probably black then. I tried to imagine what he looked like, and it's very hard! I thought about his voice, a typical man's voice is deep and stupid and annoying.. Like Marc's, and my dad's. But his voice is lighter and softer. I thought about it more and more, he can reach really high notes without changing to falsetto, which took me ages to master. Slowly my mind fades off into spacing out again. It's starting to get cold now, and I pull out a few more blankets, laying them over me. I fall asleep that way, on the roof.
