"Look Kurt, LEGOS!" Blaine exclaimed as he ran toward a brightly colored bucket.
Kurt and Blaine were spending their Saturday morning walking around a neighborhood yard sale; it was mostly just for fun as their funds were rather limited, but they weren't opposed to a fabulous bargain on something for their home together. Kurt wasn't convinced Legos were the thing to spend their money on, however.
"Legos, Blaine?"
"Oh come on, Kurt, you can't tell me you didn't spend a huge part of your childhood playing with Legos. Boy or girl, gay or straight, the whole world comes together with Legos!" Blaine said dramatically, bold hand gestures and all.
"Well, I did for awhile, but by the time I would've started getting into the big kid Lego sets, my mom started getting sick and we didn't have any money for them anymore," Kurt said softly.
Blaine's face dropped. "Aww Kurt, honey, I'm sorry," he said, and he gave Kurt a hug around the shoulders. After waiting for what he thought was an appropriate amount of time, he continued. "But there's no time like the present! Please, Kurt?" Blaine looked pleadingly at Kurt, his eyes almost as large as Margaret Thatcher Dog's.
"Twenty dollars is quite a bit for a toy," Kurt hesitated.
Blaine slipped into salesman mode. "It's a really good deal, Kurt. This bucket is HUGE. This many Legos would cost at least a hundred bucks in the store."
"Well, okay," Kurt agreed, a sucker for a great bargain. And they DID look fun… "But I'm going to see if I can haggle a bit."
Kurt approached the man running the sale. In Kurt's experience, the men tended to be easier to bargain with than women; most men were oblivious to what things cost and were not determined to try to make their money back on everything.
"Would you go down to $15 on the bucket of Legos?" Kurt asked.
The man hesitated. "I'm already letting them go for a steal. I'm surprised they're still here, really. But then, not too many people have stopped here today."
Kurt wasn't surprised. Quite honestly, the bucket of Legos looked out of place here; all the other items for sale were dirty or rusty or long out of date.
"Yeah, I'll take fifteen. I wanted to close up soon anyway." Kurt pulled a ten and a five out of his wallet and handed them to the man.
"He special or something?" the man asked, watching Blaine, who had managed to fashion two mini daggers out of Legos in the short amount of time Kurt was making his offer and was now sword-fighting himself.
Kurt grinned. "No, not in the way you're thinking. He's just developed Peter Pan syndrome – he doesn't want to grow up. Plus, he's studying to be an elementary school teacher; he likes being on the kids' wavelength."
The man nodded, and Kurt said his thank yous and went to rejoin Blaine. "Come on, sweetie. Let's haul this big ol' bucket home." Kurt grabbed one end and Blaine grabbed the other, and together they carried it home between them.
The moment they got back to their apartment, Blaine overturned the entire bucket on the wooden floor in their living room.
"Blaine!" Kurt protested. He had hoped to attack the Legos with a can of Lysol spray before Blaine started playing with them again, but now he just hoped that an errant Lego wouldn't attack his feet later on.
"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head, Kurt. I'll clean them up."
"You better, or I'm going to be cleaning them up myself. With the vacuum."
Blaine patted a space on the floor next to him. "Sit. Come immerse yourself in the joy that is building with Legos."
Kurt hesitated only briefly before plopping himself down next to Blaine. He grabbed a green base plate and a handful of the colorful bricks and set to work making his dream house.
Blaine made a handful of small objects (a car, a Star Wars light saber, a dog, a robot) before a naughty look crossed his face and he set to work. Had Kurt been paying attention, he would've seen the evil glint in Blaine's eyes and gotten suspicious, but he was engrossed in his own work. Even in a Lego house, the large walk-in closet must not be neglected.
They both worked busily for about ten minutes before Blaine tapped Kurt on the shoulder, snapping Kurt out of his building zone.
"Hey Kurt, look!" Blaine said proudly. Blaine held in his hand a larger-than-life sized model of…
A penis. Standing erect and tall. Complete with balls.
"Oh my GOD! Blaine!" Kurt screeched, slightly horrified. He scrambled up from his seat on the floor, trying to get away from it as if it would bite him or something.
Blaine laughed uncontrollably at Kurt's reaction. Tears streamed down from his eyes and he was making almost no sound. "But Kurt!" he choked out. "Isn't it LIFELIKE?"
Kurt turned his nose up. "Yes, Blaine. A multi-colored penis with square corners and sharp edges. SO lifelike."
Blaine began to tease Kurt by waving the Lego dick through the air as if it was thrusting into some unknown orifice.
Kurt shook his head and said sarcastically, "Very funny, you big pervert. I'm going to go fix lunch. If you can grow up by the time I'm done, maybe I'll even let you have some of it."
Blaine cheered internally, his plans for making Kurt leave the room for an extended period of time successful. He quickly set aside the offending phallic object and went to work.
xXxXxXx
Kurt put the finishing touches on the meal he had slaved over. Chicken Parmesan was a lot of work for lunch, and he had even made fresh breadsticks and tossed a salad to go with it, but he had this strange, unexplainable hunch that today was a good day for a special meal.
He wiped his hands on a kitchen towel. Satisfied that everything was plated beautifully and ready to be enjoyed, he went back to the living room to call Blaine to the table.
He entered the living room to find… no Blaine.
"Blaine? Where are you?" There weren't many places he could go. Their home was comfortable, but small.
Kurt turned around to go looking for Blaine when he kicked something that skittered across the wooden floor. Kurt sighed; it was starting already.
"Blaine, I thought you said you were going to clean these up?" he called out in a random direction, not sure where Blaine could be.
Kurt bent over to pick up the offending Legos and stopped dead. Painstaking laid out in front of him in Legos were the words Kurt, Will You Marry Me? He gasped, his hand going straight to his chest. He whipped his head around, frantically looking for Blaine, only to find him right behind him.
Kneeling on the floor, wearing his much loved tuxedo shirt, was Blaine. He was holding in his hands a hollowed out Lego heart with a golden band laying inside.
"You know I'm not very good at speeches, or at romance. I'm usually much better at expressing myself through song. Truth is, though, I didn't even have a song prepared. This was incredibly spur of the moment, but for some reason, it just felt like the right time to do this. So, Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?"
"You're just fine at romance, Blaine. Yes, I will marry you." Kurt allowed Blaine to slide the gold band over his ring finger and pull him into a long, borderline steamy kiss.
"You make me so happy, Kurt," Blaine said softly, staring into Kurt's eyes. Then he broke away and flashed Kurt a huge mischievous grin. "So, tell me, Kurt – what made you decide to marry me? Was it my charisma and charm, or…" He reached behind him. "Was it my Amazing Technicolor Dream-Penis?" he said, shoving the Lego creation underneath Kurt's nose with a flourish.
Kurt facepalmed. Oh god, I'm marrying an IDIOT, he thought.
xXxXxXx
A/N: This has to be one of the dorkier things I've written. I'm in a weird mood today - please forgive me.
Inspired by the huge mess of Legos my son is working on (which currently consists of Angry Birds and Super Mario designs) and this picture I found on Google: http :/ / tinyurl . com / ckep8ep (remove all spaces)
