A/N: Thanks to marisje for suggesting this!
Disclaimer: Do I need to tell you people that I don't own Alex Rider for every one of these? Seriously, tell me. Please. I beg you.
"Hey, Eagle!"
The man in question turned at the sound of his name. Jogging toward him was Cub, and he was clutching something in his hand.
"What's up, Cub?" he asked as the boy drew near.
"Drink this," Cub replied as he shoved the object he had been holding into Eagle's hands.
Eagle raised an eyebrow. "Why? What is it?"
"Because I asked you to, and it's an energy drink."
Eagle's other eyebrow joined its brother. "And...why would I drink one of those? Do I look like I have a death wish?"
Cub sighed, obviously exasperated. "No, you don't look like you have a death wish. And do you really want to know why you would drink this?"
"Yes."
Cub motioned Eagle closer and whispered in his ear. A slow grin spread across Eagle's face as Cub spoke.
"Alright, you got me," he said, taking the drink from the boy. "But if I get in trouble, I'm blaming you."
Later that night...
"C'mon! Just one more game?"
"No!"
"Pleeeeeaaaase?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Stop pouting. Because I said no!"
"But why did you say no?"
A sigh. "Because Wolf cleaned me out, that's why."
"Oooooooohh."
A brief silence. Then:
"But can't you bet something else?"
"NO!"
"C'mon, Eagle, leave the sore loser alone."
"Now, that's not nice."
"What?"
"Rubbing it in like that."
"Uh-huh. Right."
"Hey, Wolf, get off Eagle's case. It's not Snake's fault he's bad at poker."
"Yeah, you can say that as you sit there thumbing through your cash!"
"I thought you guys were supposed to be grown men, not five-year-olds!"
"Shut up, Cub!"
"Oh, yeah? Make me!"
"You shouldn't have said that..."
"Shut up, Fox."
The next morning...
Wolf stumbled out of the hut, bleary-eyed. Whoever gave Eagle all that sugar was dead meat.
"I think I'm going crazy," mumbled Fox groggily as he followed his unit leader.
"I already am crazy," Snake moaned, rubbing his eyes.
"Oh, come on, guys. It was only a few thousand renditions of The Song That Never Ends. It could have been worse, right?" Cub was unusually chipper for someone who had been kept awake all night by said song.
"Shut up, Cub," Wolf said, but his usual venom was lost in a yawn.
"What's for breakfast?" Eagle asked as he bounded out of the hut.
Snake glared at him. "Well, I can tell you what's not for breakfast."
Eagle tilted his head to the side, looking not unlike his namesake. "What?" he asked innocently.
Snake closed his eyes briefly in exasperation. Then he started ticking items off his fingers as he listed them. "Pancakes, waffles, coffee, French toast, anything with syrup...basically, you're restricted to the glop." Wolf nodded his reinforcement of the all-but-order.
Eagle cocked his head to the other side. "Why?"
"Because you don't need any more sugar," Snake explained, affecting patience.
Eagle frowned. "But I didn't have sugar. I had-"
"K-UNIT!" Fortunately for Cub – who rather enjoyed having skin on his body – the sergeant strode up to the group. "Why are you not at the mess hall enjoying a delicious nutritious breakfast?" he demanded.
"Uh..." Each member of the group made various excuses, then all but ran to the building in question.
That night...
Fox groaned as he stretched out on his bed. "And I thought it was bad when Cub and Eagle weren't there."
Snake nodded his agreement. "I never realized the obstacle course was so long," he moaned, his voice slightly muffled by his pillow.
Wolf yawned. "I'm just glad we can actually sleep tonight."
Cub looked concerned. "Where's Eagle?"
Wolf grinned – well, wolfishly. "Looking for hot girls."
"What?"
"I told him there were hot girls here. It'll keep him outside all night."
Cub shook his head, but couldn't argue. After all, training was a world worse when you had gotten exactly no sleep the night before.
3:00 the following morning...
K-Unit was awoken by a pounding on their door and Eagle's shouts to "Open up!"
Cub hauled himself out of bed and automatically opened the door, still half-asleep. "Eagle?" he asked.
The man scowled. "Wolf lied!" he complained. "There are no girls out there!"
"Why you little..."
Cub heard the words just in time to leap out of the way, as Wolf – who had been standing behind him – lunged out the door and began to chase Eagle around the grounds.
"When do you think they'll be back?" Fox mused.
"A few hours. Probably before breakfast," Snake answered, already laying back down.
Fox grinned. "You want to bet on that?"
Snake's only response was to throw a pillow at the other soldier.
A/N: Personally, I don't find this up to my usual standards for this story. But don't judge me by that – some of the best stories I've read are by authors who thought they (the stories) were crap. Hint, hint. :D
