Hi, and we're back again, for another episode of 'Starkit's Prophecy: A rare educational-yet-funny (I hope) review!'
Um, okay, so...let's start...?
Chapter Five Untidles
(Let's introduce a new word, 'untidles')
UR OLL JUST SAINTS y cant u just except jEsuss it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again
(Ooh, look at the many red curly lines underneath the words! So much vocab the dictionary hasn't heard of!)
StarPaw sad "I..i….." she was so foncusded!
(Ha! Ha! That's gotta be the most 'foncusded' word I ever heard! Ay, folks, a new word here! Foncusded!)
Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates an wht was she supops to do?
(Kill herself. Didn't it state in the Mary-Sue Code, Page 957, line 5 that Mary-Sues shouldn't be mats? And didn't the Mary-Sue Code, Page 489, Line 23 say that a Mary-Sue should do anything to benefit her Clan? Well, killing herself would honour both rules! She wouldn't become a mat, and she benefits her Clan, and actually Clans, by handing them back their sanities on a silver plate of her death?)(Whoops, my rant was too long. If you don't understand it, nevermind, since I don't seem to understand it myself either.)
They we beoth handsome and althing,
(Two characteristics of the mate of a Mary-Sue:
1. Beoth handsome
2. Althing
Remember that!)
but bot had matss!
(That's not an issue. In the Two-leg world, we can have as much mats as we want, as long as we got the money to buy them. I mean, some people's homes are strewn with mats, rugs, carpets etc., right? Why can't cats be the same?)
Nhd she luvved them both!
(Gawd major incest alert!)
FirstAr wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot.
(So a Mary-Sue has a body part called an 'allot' that toms liked.)
GayStirpe was so funny and col.
(But yet don't like that allot of hers.)
"!" said StarPaw ass she ruan in to the forest.
(Totally articulate! Definitely! Then again, Starpaw's ass couldn't have said much.)
It wus to muck# she culdnt choss!
(Xdarkrosesx was trying to create a new hashtag, #sheculdntchoss. But I think she just created a failure of a hashtag and a new pronunciation of 'chess'.)
She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged.
(Stupid Starpaw-Sue, can't even tell the difference between past tense and present tense, and don't even know how to use past tense. No wonder her paws hurt; it was because they were tense when she was running.
Ha! A pun! Although it's very lame. Thank you, thank you! Address me as the Punmistress Echoshadow, thankyou very much!)
Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader.
(Ahh, her corset grew broader. But that's to be certain, it couldn't hold all of Starpaw's Mary-Sue powers without the rubber being overstretched, eh?)
Oih no she thugh
(Ahh, I totally get the meaning of this.)
Shadowclan will get me.
(Good. I specially hired them to kill you, little turdhead.)
"wut are you ding here?" sd BalkStar s he waked up.
(Wait, 'waked up'? You were sleeping? I thought I posted you on guard duty so you could kill Starpaw at the first moment? You're useless. Utterly useless.)
"I'm sorry!" mewoed StarKit I didn't men too!'
(She...answered the question well, didn't she?)
That's ok" sed blackStar. "no wons perfeck."
(Hey! Why aren't you killing her yet? Me, the Punmistress Echoshadow, command you to kill Starpaw! I may not be perfeck, and I may not be perfect, but you still have to listen to me!)
"no that's not true." Said StarPaw, offed.
(Boy, if someone could switch Starpaw off and if she actually died or something, I would definitely, DEFINITELY thank the person profusely.)
"StarClan is."
(Of course, they're perfeck but they're not perfect. I see the logic here.)
"Waht do you mena?" wemed BlackStar.
(Ahh, I see the reason why BlackStar won't kill Starpaw yet. It's because he's stupid. Well, I should have known.)
"well the give us all this halpand stuff" said Starpaw.
(Hey, StarClan! Do you actually give these morons halpand? New word, btw.)
\"without them we wold be lust." She said.
(Hey, StarClan! Is it true that you guys are the only barrier that prevents a million kits from spawning in the Clans? Although xdarkrosesx didn't have to put it in that ever-so-innocent way...she really does have a sick, twisted mind.)
"I gess that's ter " balkcStar said, "besid I didn't relly mean that neway.
(Good, Blackstar, you are resisting Starpaw's seducing skills. But not enough for you to go on and kill her.)
"o really why?" said starpaw. "becus yo are."
(Such a good explanation.)
'WHAT' YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her.
(My only conclusion here: Nugle= Snuggle. Got it. New word, people!)
"WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?"
(The moles wouldn't be very happy, being accused of strapping Starpaw down. First the otters, then the moles. What exactly are you thinking, xdarkrosesx?)
"e—" BlakStar started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick
(Despite being strapped down by moles.)
"no" she Sid "I don't doned another tom after me!"
(Really? Because you becoming a mat x3 sounds fascinating enough to me.)
"I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy!
(Like a bunch of Fanfiction readers wanting to slaughter you.)
"but yor pahfect." Said Blackstar. "you betted me in badle you HAVE TO BE "
(NOTE THE ACCENT! NOTE THE aaaaaaaaccent. She's pah-fect. Pah-fect.)
"NO!" shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst.
(Sigh. Rewind this horror of a chapter...Starpaw's ass ain't proficient in English, but Starpaw's shit is?)
Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"
(StarClan, huh? Fat hope, little Starpaw. You have so much fat hope that I'm surprised that corset of yours [refer to above comment] hasn't broken the moment you were born.
Is that a pun?
Nevermind.)
5 points here.
1) The mate of a Mary-Sue needs to be 'beoth handsome' and 'althing'.
2) New words coming through, 'halpand', 'foncusded', 'untidles', 'choss' and 'perfeck'.
3) Starpaw's ass sucks at English, unlike the shit coming through it.
4)Starpaw has a corset. dun, Dun, DUN.
5) Toms are attracted to a body part that only Mary-Sues have. It's called the 'allot'. [My, that sounds wrong XD.]
Anyway,please, I need some good warrior names quickly! My friend's finding a warrior name. She's a girl but she's not too girlish. She's kinda ambitious, and likes the name Hazel. Please help!
Thanks,
The Potato Punmistress Echoshadow.
