Be Where You Are

Don't look for life in past or future, look right at it dead in the eye

Caden stared daggers at the quartermaster. She said nothing, bit her tongue, but she stared at the man as if she had the power to melt the flesh off his bones. Alistair coughed awkwardly. "You seem to have made a mistake there," he said warily. "Caden is a Warden-Recruit and so needs a set of armour."

The quartermaster frowned, bushy eyebrows almost meeting in the middle. "I could have sworn she was the Teryns servant. Are you sure?" Caden noted that he wasn't asking her. Her rage ticked up a notch, but still she kept it quiet, swallowing the heat of her ire. She wanted armour that fit well and wasn't full of holes and speaking her mind at that moment, she felt, would only lead to getting the armour from the rubbish pile. Alistair shifted from one foot to the other, clearly desperately uncomfortable.

"I'm quite sure." he said finally. "If you would please just fit her for some armour so we can head out...?"

The quartermaster huffed. "Who am I to question the decisions of the Wardens, eh?" And he went inside his tent to rifle through his available armour.

Caden waited until he returned with some scale mail before saying: "Leather would suit me better."

Those bushy eyebrows shot up to meet his hairline, which was something as it was rather receding. He glanced at her in her tunic and breeches and nodded. "Fair enough. Mail might topple you over, I guess. Such a tiny thing. Maybe there's something in the back." And muttering he disappeared from sight again. Alistair threw a nervous smile Cadens way, but she wasn't in the mood to return it. She remained stony faced as the quartermaster returned with a set of small leather greaves and bracers for her legs and arms, and what looked like a tabbard made out of strips of leather woven into a lattice. "This can all go over your current clothes. Try it on and see how you move."

Caden smiled poisonously, an expression of utter disdain dressed up to appear polite and looked over the items. The quartermaster moved off to speak to a squire who had come to collect his master's sword, and left the Junior Warden and the Warden-Recruit alone. Alistair watched without speaking as Caden checked over each piece, stealing glances at Alistairs own armour as she did as she figured it out. First, she settled the greaves over her legs, fastening two buckles at the side over her boots. The greaves extended above her knees a little, but were secured to her shins, so she had the freedom to move unimpeded. So far, so good. Next, she set aside the bracers for last and found the buckles of the tabbards. The item fit over her head in one piece, then fastened at both sides, tying the front and the back together around her body. It was bulky and shapeless, but it would protect her from the front and back. Her neck was open as were parts at her side, so she knew she would have to remember that if there was fighting, which sounded unavoidable. She recalled how she had found similar exposed points in the metal armour of the guards in Vaughans estate. Wouldn't that be ironic, to be taken down in the same way out here? No, she resolved. She wouldn't give them the chance. Finally, she fitted the bracers over her forearms. Her upper arms were now also open to attack, but she didn't intend to let herself be injured. Once again, remembering her fights at the manor in Denerim; she was smaller and weaker, so she had to be faster. Had to be.

She looked up at Alistair, not wanting approval per se, but then again, he was a more seasoned warrior, so she waited to see what he would say. He nodded at her armour. "Looks fine. You'll get better armour, properly fitted after the Joining, so just live long enough and you can get an upgrade." He smiled wryly to show he was joking. Then he reached over to her tabbard and took hold of one of the buckles. "This could be a little tighter-" he started, but Caden had flinched violently away as his hand brushed her. Alistairs ears went red and he held up both hands. "Sorry, sorry! I was just trying to help."

It was Cadens turn to flush pink under her armour. She had to get that under control, she knew that, but then again, he really needed to learn to tell her what he was doing. She told him as much. "You can't just grab people." She said, trying to remain calm. "Just... say what you're doing, before you do it, alright?"

Alistair nodded. "My apologies," he said sincerely. "I would suggest that could be a little tighter, if you want some help with that?"

Caden nodded, mutely and turned, raising her arm so Alistair could adjust the straps. She felt very hot having his hands so close, could feel the sweat breaking out under her already worn clothes. She really needed to bathe after their sojourn to the Wilds, and to change into a fresh set of clothing, if there were any to spare. Of course, she could always die out on the first mission and then the need for cleanliness and clothes would be null and void.

Once that was sorted, the quartermaster returned and upon request found her two belts to wear in a criss-cross fashion around her torso, so that she could have two short swords in scabbards either side of her. She wanted to ask about a knife so that her boots felt less empty, but she also wanted to be away from this man as soon as possible and although she spotted a knife sitting on a table unguarded, Alistair was hovering so she had to fight the urge to pilfer it.

Together Alistair and Caden walked away from the quartermaster to meet up with the others by the gates.

"I'm sorry about him," Alistair said after a few moments. "Some humans can be idiots about elves."

Caden sighed, but didn't speak. It was hardly anything new. Alistair went on: "You seemed remarkably calm with him. Even when he spoke to you like you were a servant."

"I'm planning to kill him later." Caden deadpanned. "I'll go back under cover of darkness and murder him in his sleep. It's just easier that way." She caught Alistairs face. "I'm joking. Mostly." She rolled her shoulders, feeling the armour shift on top of her clothes. "Let's just see how this armour does. Then I'll decide if he's worth keeping around."

Duncan was waiting at the gate with Daveth and Ser Jory. Caden found her eyes roaming the armour of her fellow Warden-Recruits, eyeing up the fit and quality. Jory had brought his own and it seemed to fit him well to her untrained eye. Daveths armour came from the same place and was similar in appearance to hers, but certainly seemed to fit him better than hers did. Caden bristled underneath it all; none of the armour seemed built for her kind, whether that was because of her female body or her elven stature. It was very frustrating. She tuned out her annoyance to focus on Duncan.

"…additionally, we have sourced a location of a cache that I would like you to find. Alistair has the location so please do your utmost to retrieve the treaties hidden away there."

"Of course, Duncan." Alistair said solemnly. Caden resisted the urge to fidget under her armour.

"Nevertheless, your primary focus is obtaining the blood from the darkspawn." Duncan went on. "Without it the Joining will be delayed and we want complete that this evening."

"What do you do when there isn't a Blight?" Caden asked bluntly. Daveth hid a smirk behind his hand. She ignored him; she wasn't sent here for his personal amusement. "How do you get the blood if darkspawn aren't running around the Wilds?"

Duncan looked to Alistair to answer this question. He cleared his throat first. "We go to the Deep Roads in Orzammar." Alistair said. Caden watched him intently; he'd spoken too freely the previous night and was clearly being more cautious now, with Duncans eyes upon him. "The darkspawn live underground so the dwarves are often the first line of defence against them breaking out so Warden-Recruits join the dwarves in holding them back and in doing so we can get blood."

"And the blood is for…?"

Duncan clapped his hands together. "It looks as though the gates are ready for you to pass through so the best of luck to you all. I will see you on your return for your Joining later."

The Wilds were wet and kind of smelly. That was Cadens first impressions upon leaving the grounds of Ostagar. This was the direction the Darkspawn were coming from, apparently, and so would be the best place to obtain the blood for the three new recruits. They each had a set of vials, lest any should break and Alistair was in the lead. Duncan had explained that Alistair, as a fully-fledged Grey Warden, would be able to sense the presence of any darkspawn and so prevent the small group from being taken by surprise. The thought was niggling at Cadens mind once she heard this, that the very secret reason for needing darkspawn blood might be something rather unpleasant. It didn't seem to bother Jory or Daveth, or at least if they were bothered by it, they weren't letting it show, so Caden kept her dark thoughts inside.

Alistair was much less jovial once they crossed into the Wilds, a focus lighting his eyes that Caden had previously not seen. It made his face suddenly a whole lot more interesting, to her at least. Watching him take something seriously was better than his attempts to get to know her or jolly them all along like children. That wasn't what she was there for. He led the way and had Jory behind, with Caden and Daveth either side of the knight. Daveth, Caden spotted, seemed to have the same weapons as she did, and she wondered if that was the only reason Alistair chose the arrangement that he did.

The sky was slightly overcast and the air held a chill as they traipsed over the damp ground. It seemed a far cry from the land she and Duncan had traversed in their journey from Denerim. There were tiny insects here, that seemed to delight in the taste of human flesh, with one or two taking a bite out of her elven skin and apparently deciding it wasn't as good. That they seemed to be mostly nibbling on Jory was as much to his dismay as it was to Cadens amusement, though she hid her glee as well as she could when he grumbled about the bugs.

The group had been walking for a while, long enough to have left behind the gates to Ostagar and had yet to find any darkspawn. Alistair stopped them by a lazy river that was snaking its way between the mounds of grass and reeds. "I'm getting a sense of darkspawn over that way," he said, gesturing away from the muddy path towards a wooded area. The trees had long bedraggled strands of moss hanging from the leaves, giving each tree a slightly stooped over appearance. Daveth swallowed audibly.

"In there?" He asked in a dry voice. "I don't like the look of that."

"I would prefer to stay in open ground," Jory quickly agreed. "It looks like the perfect place for an ambush."

"Not to mention the witches that could be lurking in there," Daveth muttered, his eyes darting around. Caden cocked her head to one side as she looked at the pale man.

"Witches?"

He nodded. "The Wilds are rife with witches and Chasind who follow them."

"Seriously?" Caden asked. This sounded like he was pulling her leg, but he had genuine fear in his eyes that gave her reason to question it. Daveth had turned back to eye up the way into the woods again and did not reply.

"I hear what you're saying, Ser Jory," Alistair started, notably not responding to Daveths woes, Caden realised. "But that is our best bet for finding the darkspawn and achieving our task."

The two recruits shared a worried look, so Caden stepped up alongside Alistair. "In there you say? Let's go." And she started for the woods. Within a few seconds Alistair was beside her and then the other two scrambled to catch up behind. Alistair shot Caden a grateful look, but she kept her head forward, scanning through gaps in the trees. In truth, she was not happy to be inside this darkened woodland. The canopy was thick and the light was dim. She hated to admit it, but it did seem like the kind of place people went into and never came back out from. She understood that Alistair had this special darkspawn sense, but in practise it sounded rather far-fetched. She would need to see it in action to fully trust it. Caden stole a look to Alistair as she struggled to keep pace with him. He had that focused look back, as he peered off through the woods. Was he feeling out the darkspawn at that moment? She wondered if he had a tell, and then wondered what it would feel like for her if she made it to the Joining. While she watched, she spotted Alistair look towards a new direction, almost like she had seen watching the rats in the streets of the Alienage; a sudden awareness of a presence, an instinctive reaction to potential danger. Caden turned her head to peer in the same direction as Alistair. Nothing. She looked back at Alistair who was holding up a hand to quieten the other two recruits, and waited. When he dropped to crouch, the others all followed suit without a moments hesitation.

"That way." Alistair said. "A small group, I think."

Caden looked. They were on a narrow pathway, but to follow Alistairs plan they would be walking through brush and thickets. Any attempts at being quiet would be pretty much impossible. "Are you sure?" Caden asked. "We won't be able to surprise them." Alistair nodded at her words and she chewed thoughtfully on her lip.

"They will be able to sense me, as I am able to sense them." Alistair said quietly. "It is possible to surprise the darkspawn, especially as the presence of Grey Wardens will be faint."

"Will they run if they hear us or stand their ground?" Caden wondered out loud.

"If they call more we could be in a very precarious position." Jory added. Caden held back her grimace at them being on the same page, childishly irritated by his sensible suggestion. Alistair looked torn. It occurred to Caden that they were probably the first group of recruits he had taken to look for darkspawn. Presumably being in the Deep Roads meant lots of darkspawn to fight without having to hunt them down as they were doing. Looking at Alistair now with a critical eye, it was clear to see the slight tic of a muscle in his jaw. He was nervous. Caden took a deep breath. Their leader couldn't be seen to have doubts, especially with Jory worrying about ambushes and Daveth afraid of witches.

"What are you thinking, Alistair?" She asked evenly. He glanced at her and she offered a thin, but encouraging smile.

"I don't want us to get overwhelmed by darkspawn." Alistair said after a moment. "We need that blood, but reports have said that there are plenty of darkspawn groups in the wilds so let's keep going. We need to find the cache as well, which is this direction anyway."

"Sounds like a plan." Caden nodded, waiting until he rose to mimic his action.

Alistair began to walk, continuing the path through the woods with Caden walking alongside him. He tried to catch her eye again, but she kept her head forward. She hadn't thrown him a lifeline because she wanted to be his friend; it had merely been strategy. They couldn't afford for Alistair, the guy with the darkspawn sense, to worry himself into inaction. She'd acted out of necessity. That was all.

They walked in silence through the woods, the only sound coming from their steps on the detritus on the forest floor. There were few birds scattered about, with a few calls here and there, but no real song. It made the woods feel more eerie in the gloom. After a while they came to an edge and Alistair halted them, peering through the gaps in the trees. Caden focused where he was looking and caught a flash of movement. She glanced at Alistair. The anxiety was nowhere to be seen; he was ready now. Caden felt her heart speed up. That meant fighting. Her first fighting since Vaughans house, her second time fighting for her life. Against monstrous things that were hellbent on destroying her and everyone she loved. She quietly withdrew her swords, gripping the hilts tightly. She was ready. Hopefully.

Alistair nodded to the others, gesturing for the men to fan out, spacing each member of their small party out in a line opposite the treeline. Caden watched the others pull their weapons free and ready themselves. Alistair held up his hand and then they were charging forwards, bursting out of the woodland into the light. Caden winced at the sudden bright light, so bright due to the gloom of the tree canopy, but she quickly adjusted. Before them were a small group of what had to be darkspawn, two about Cadens height, three closer to the men. They seemed shocked by the sudden appearance of non-darkspawn fighters and Caden pressed forward, pushing the advantage of surprise, sinking her blades into the arm and side of the one closest to her. It howled and his foetid breath made her gag as the sorry creature expired before it could even think to draw a blade. Caden yanked her swords free and turned, eyeing up the next enemy. This one was ready, holding a sword, facing her. Caden had to jump back as it swung, much closer than she had anticipated and she let out a hiss of pain as it left her with a shallow cut on her bicep. Damn that armour. The darkspawn let out a roar at her, and in combination of pain, shock and anger, Caden hollered right back, her voice an irritated growl in comparison to the bellow from her sparring partner. It brought down its jagged blade and Caden parried with her good arm, catching the offending sword with hers and slicing with the free sword. She caught it on the thigh and it grunted. Before Caden could stab at it again, the darkspawn let go of the sword with one hand and suddenly Cadens face exploded in pain. She reeled backwards from the punch, already feeling the blood spurting from her nose, she hurried to parry again as the beast advanced on her, swinging wildly. Caden shook the stars from her eyes and feinted left, before darting right and jamming her sword into the darkspawns already injured leg. It yelped again and she brought the other sword down to pierce the skin at the back of its neck, cutting off the scream as she severed its voice with her blade.

Caden risked a glance at the others. Jory was wiping his sword clean, the body of a large darkspawn prone and bloody before him. She looked over to where another body lay, another downed enemy, with Daveth sitting up beside it, wiping blood from his eyes. He had a gash across his head. Finally, Cadens eyes alighted on Alistair as he swung his sword and sliced clean through his foes neck, sending the monsters head flying through the air. The headless body teetered and then crumpled to the ground in a shower of blood. Alistair looked up and locked eyes with Caden.

"Is that all of them?" Caden asked, her chest heaving with the exertion.

"Yes," Alistair nodded. "Let's collect the blood while we have a moment. Daveth, are you alright?" He reached a hand down to the man who clasped it and allowed himself to be helped to his feet.

"They're faster than they look." Daveth said with a shrug and a wry grin. He looked over to Caden, who had set down her swords and was fiddling with the awkward wax stopper of her vials. "Did you take two down?"

Caden didn't look up from her job. Her hands were shaking after that fight and she couldn't get the vial unstoppered. "I guess so." She mumbled. Finally, the waxed cork loosened and she immediately dropped it. Cursing under her breath she dove for the small stopper on the ground and retrieved it.

"That's impressive." Daveth said. Caden ignored him as she knelt beside her fallen foe and considered how to get the blood out of the darkspawn and into the tiny vial. After a moments consideration she held the vial at the opening she had made with her sword in the creatures' neck and pressed the vial to the blood that was still pouring forth. There was no way to avoid it getting on her hands, so she gritted her teeth and filled one vial after another.

"So, what exactly are these?" Daveth was asking as Caden worked. There was a nervous energy to his tone, making Caden feel glad that she wasn't the only one letting the tension get to her.

"These big fellows are hurlocks," Alistair said, then he crossed over to crouch beside the creature Caden was taking the blood from. Wordlessly she passed him a full vial. He took it and pressed the stopper over the top to close it, then waited for her to pass him the next one. "And these ones are genlocks."

After a short while Cadens vials were full and her hands were slick with blackish blood. She grimaced down at herself, but Alistair stood and offered her a hand like he had with Daveth. Without a second glance at his outstretched hand, Caden pushed herself up from the floor and got to her feet alone. Alistair didn't say anything as he pulled his hand back.

Caden dithered for a moment, then bent and wiped her hands on her thighs; smearing the blood over her breeches. She was filthy enough and sweating after the fight. What was a little more mess? Alistairs face appeared in her peripheral view, frowning. She opened her mouth to defend her decision to clean herself up on her clothes, but then she realised that he was looking with concern at her face. "How's your nose?" He asked.

Cadens fingers flew up to touch it, wincing at the sharp pain that elicited. "It's fine." She said bravely. She caught the barest hint of a smile on Alistairs face as he clearly didn't buy the lie.

"Very well," he said, reaching in pocket for a handkerchief. Caden took it and pressed it to the drying stream of blood surrounding her nostril.

"Thanks." She dabbed a few times until she was satisfied the bleeding had definitely stopped and withdrew the handkerchief. There was an embroidered crest on the fabric. She was getting used to seeing them everywhere, but while she had expected to find a griffon for the Wardens, instead there was a grey tower upon a hill. She'd stained the fabric with dirt and her blood, but it looked as though the thread used for the hill was itself red. It didn't look like the Templar heraldry. Was this something from his time before the Chantry? Caden was surprised to feel a small flicker of curiosity for Alistairs previous life. She quashed it quickly. She didn't need to know his business, just as he had no right to hers. Caden held out the handkerchief and Alistair took it back, stuffing it into his pocket again, apparently not minding that it was just as grimy as Caden was now.

"Do we have enough blood?" Jory asked. Caden and Alistair looked over to him and Daveth; both had managed to gather some vials, somehow managing to avoid the mess that had befallen Caden she noted grimly.

"I'll wager we do," Alistair replied. "Good work."

"But we still need to find that stuff for Duncan?" Caden offered. Alistair nodded.

"We do. Let's press on."

Following Alistairs directions they travelled across open marshland, battling with insects again rather than darkspawn.

They walked on, slowly trudging through the Wilds. Caden wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but it seemed as though her fellow recruits were fallen back a little. Certainly she found herself up alongside Alistairs while Ser Jory and Daveth ended up behind. She kept her gaze ahead, trying to avoid Alistair catching her eye. Her hair had mostly held fast in its tight knot atop her head, apart from a few wisps that had fallen around her face. As she walked, Caden brushed the strands back up into the knot, tucking them into the cord that held her hair in place. No doubt she was smearing black streaks along the yellow hair.

"What's that?" Jory asked. The others stopped and Caden looked up from her task, to follow the length of his extended arm to see what he was pointing at. They were coming up to a bridge which was adorned with spikes on which were skewered human skulls. She narrowed her eyes, her skin prickling with unease. Surrounding the bridge was thick hedgerows either side of the river. There was only one way forward.

"I don't like this," Alistair murmured. "I can feel something nearby..." He turned around, seeking out the incoming threat. Daveth and Jory readied their weapons, glancing around.

Caden slowly crept on light feet towards the bridge. Then she stopped.

"I can see traps—it's an ambush." She had barely finished the sentence when genlocks suddenly appeared as if out of thin air surrounding the troupe. Before any of them had time to breathe, they attacked.