Olivia raised her hand to knock on the door but dropped it again. She looked at her watch. She had been here for fifteen minutes so far. "Come on Olivia" she said to herself "You see the worse in people every day. Just knock on the door." Again she raised her hand but dropped it. This is useless she muttered. She turned and walked down the hallway to the elevator. When the elevator door opened she stepped in and turned to punch the ground floor button. "I love you, Mary. I always have and always will. I hope she treats you right and you're happy." She said to air as the door closed.
Twenty minutes later she was seated at the local bar trying to drown her sorrows. She knew alcohol wasn't the answer. She had learned that with her mother but at the moment it would numb all the feelings and she wouldn't have to face them. Where did everything go wrong she asked herself taking the last swig of beer and motioning to the bartender for another one.
She started thinking back to when they first met. She had gone over to the 2-7 to meet her friend Dean for lunch. She had walked up to her asking for Dean. Her breath had caught in her throat when she looked at her. Mary had blue eyes the bluest she had ever seen and when she looked at her she felt as if she was totally exposed. "He ran to evidence he will be back in a few. You must be Liv he told me to tell you to have a seat." All I could do was nod. I didn't trust my voice.
Olivia laughed out loud causing the bartender to walk up to her. "ma'am everything ok?"
"yeah walking down memory lane. Let me get another beer." The bartender reached behind the bar and grabbed another bottle popping the top. "You know it's none of my business but nothing good ever comes of trying to bury your sorrows in booze."
"You're right it is none of your business." The bartender nodded and walked off. Olivia stared at the bottle feeling bad for jumping on the bartender.
"Please have a seat she shouldn't be too long. I'm Mary Blackwood." She said extending her hand. "I'm Olivia Benson I work at the 1-6" She answered taking her hand. The simple hand shake sent shock waves through her. She pulled her hand back like it was on fire. "I'm sorry Olivia did I do something" Mary asked with true concern in her eyes.
"No just a sharp pain. I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's ok." They sat there and talked about being a female detective in the special victims unit and nothing in general. She found it very easy to talk to Mary. The conversation seemed to flow and it wasn't forced.
"I don't see a wedding ring?" Mary had asked catching her off guard.
"I'm not. I'm married to my job." I answered as I watched a smile creep onto her face. Suddenly there was a twinkle in her eyes that wasn't there earlier. "What about you?"
"I'm widowed. It's a long story."
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok. So miss I'm married to my job. Do you think you could cheat on it and have dinner with me on Friday night." Leaning close to me. I felt as if everyone in the room was watching and could see and feel the electricity between us.
"I'm sorry. I think you may have misunderstood my signals."
"I didn't misunderstand anything Olivia."
The way she said my name sent chills up and down my spine. Not from fear but excitement. I found myself wondering what my name would sound like coming from her during sex. I had to shake my head "No I really think you did."
"Pretty sure I didn't. if you're not out that's cool no one has to know. Besides its one date. I'm not asking you to marry me. Dinner, that's it."
I found myself wanting to say yes. I just had to know what it would be like to be kissed by her, made love to by her, to have all her attention on me. "Friday night 8 pm. Meet me at Cheshire Bay Restaurant on 25th street."
"Ok."
"That's providing I don't catch a case that day. There are times…" She had cut me off "Olivia you don't have to explain to me. I'm riding the same boat you are. If either has to cancel we will just reschedule ok."
Mary leaned forward and took my hand in hers. "Let's pray that there is no new case" She brought my hand to her lips and kissed it. That simple kiss had shaken me to my core. Every part of my body was on fire. I had never experienced that before. It wasn't until I heard someone clear their throat that I had remembered where I was. I looked up and there was Dean standing with his arms crossed across his chest and a huge grin on his face.
"If you like I can come back in a few?"
"I uhh. I" I couldn't form any words. The only thing that was going through my mind was how she made me feel with one simple kiss on my hand. Then everything hit me at once. I could feel the heat creeping all the way through my face. I knew I was so red that I could have been seen a mile away. "Listen Dean.." I had started to say but was interrupted by Mary
"Stays here man" was all she said as she stood and walked away. "You got it Mary" Was all he answered watching her walk out the door
"Excuse me miss" The bartender was saying waving his hand in front of my face "Ma'am"
"Yeah, yes sir."
""Would you like another?" Pointing at my empty beer bottle.
"No thanks. Let me get a couple of shots of Tequila, instead."
"You know you should never mix liquor and beer together, right?"
"At this moment I don't care. Beer is no longer cutting it. I need something stronger. So line them up."
The bartender nodded as he pulled a shot glass from the counter and a bottle of tequila from behind him. "Make sure it's the gold version. I don't want nothing cheap" I said pointing to the bottle.
"Yes ma'am it is" He answered as he began filling up my glass. I took it and swallowed the golden tinted liquid. It burned like fire when I swallowed and brought tears to my eyes. I slammed the glass on the bar. "Keep filling them up until I say stop." He nodded as he filled the glass to the brim and I downed another one.
By the seventh or eighth shot it started to kick in I was beginning to feel numb. Numb was good but I wanted oblivion. "Keep em' coming" The bartender filled the glass again and said "Ma'am this is your last shot. I am going to cut you off."
"I didn't say anything about cutting me off." I tried to get out as normal as possible. Which was totally impossible considering the amount of alcohol I have had.
"No. I did. Is there someone you want me to call to pick you up?"
"Yeah my wife. Oh wait a minute you can't. She has found herself a new woman but doesn't have the guts to tell me. So NO"
"How about a sister or brother?"
"Nope only child." I stopped to think brother the closet person I had as a brother who wouldn't pass judgment was Fin. "Yeah call Fin" I said as I handed him the phone. "Just tell him he needs to come get Liv."
"Yes ma'am he answered as he opened the phone and scrolled through the contacts to find the person she was referring to. He handed her a bottle of water while he waited on someone named fin to answer the phone. "Here drink this. Trust me you are going to need all the water you can drink."
I took the bottle from him and mumbled something that sounded like thanks.
