A/N: I don't own anything, just messing around with some great characters made up by S.M.

Sooooo sorry for the long update but I'v been really busy. This is sort of a filler chapter so I hope I dont disappoint. Enjoy!

Song for this chapter: Three Doors Down- Here without You

Chapter 7: Life without the Sun

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face….

(Same day but early in the morning)

BOV

Beep Beep Beep

Ugh Shut Up I protested, attempting to turn off the snooze button.

My head was buried deep into the fluffy pillow, trying to ward off the rays of sunlight that aspired to wake me from my dream state. I've been having the same recurring dream for about two years now and I can't seem to shake it off. It was my subconscious mind drawing out its true feelings, proving more and more what my heart truly desired, but couldn't have.

I turned over and extended my body out completely, stretching each and every muscle in my body that managed to stiffen in my deep peaceful slumber. Sitting up in bed I tossed my legs carelessly over the side, rubbing my eyes and yawning. It was always a priority of mine to set my alarm clock early in order to watch the sunrise from my balcony window. It was a great way to start the long treacherous day. It always put me in a better mood and it was such a beautiful sight that I would really miss once I returned home. I mean if I ever returned home.

Opening my balcony doors I stepped out on the terrace and leaned onto the railing, inhaling the sweet smell of salt water as the cool breeze rolled off the waves and through my hair. I watched as the sun slowly began to rise peacefully which brought a smile upon my face. The sunrise always made my day because it was a reminder of my personal sun; Jacob.
As I stood there, I reflected on my dream, it was the vision I had before the fight with the newborns, when I pleaded with Jake to kiss me. The one of our future, our marriage, kids, or the one I would have had if I had not been so blind.

Quit being so pathetic Bella, your too late! Just snap the fuck out of it and deal with the consequences of the choices you've made. It's been two years and you haven't spoken a word to him. He has probably moved on already and imprinted on someone and is living a happy life.

I couldn't help it though this dream felt much more real than all the other times.

Get over yourself you selfish girl, it's just your guilt eating at you because today's his 18th birthday. Yet, you're not there to share it with him.

After watching the sunrise, I strolled over to my nightstand and opened my drawer to pull out my jogging pants and a sports bra, which I casually tossed over my shoulder making my way towards the bathroom. Glaring at my reflection in the mirror, I brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, and pulled my hair into a ponytail. After my morning routine, I returned to my bedroom, I sat on my bed and slipped on my socks and shoes. Then I walked out my room to the kitchen to get my keys, while strolling towards the door.

Stepping out the elevator, I glanced at the front desk, Good Morning Miss Swan, going out for your morning jog? A kind Haitian gentleman questioned. I just looked him in the eyes, smiled softly and nodded my head, informing him that his assumption was correct.

I made my way passed the pool, down the boardwalk and onto the sand. I quickly stretched and began to jog. I ran along the shoreline at a steady pace. Soon after I arrived at Miami, I began running to clear my head and to keep myself in shape. I loved the way my body looked now; I've filled up and I'm completely tone. I'm nothing like the scrawny girl I use to be. I also began to run because it is important to stay in top-notch shape due to my job, and my dance career.

After finishing my morning run and work out, I headed back to my gorgeous apartment. My apartment was right in the middle of South Beach, it was definitely a luxurious condo, one that I would have never been able to afford since I'm a college student. It is one I wouldn't be able to afford even after I graduate college. Alice gave it to me as a gift. She had seen my future and implied that I would have a lot of drama living in my dorm room after a month. So she offered the condo to me as a gift, I fought with her continuously, refusing to accept such an extravagant present, but she annoyed the hell out of me by singing "One hundred bottles of beer on the wall" over and over again while I was trying to sleep. So I accepted to shut her up and haven't seen her since, but that's all in the past no need to dwell over my past mistakes.

I made my way back into my bathroom and removed my clothes. I opened the glass door and leaned in to turn the knob in the shower to hot. The steam filled up the room and I stepped into the shower. I washed my hair with my strawberry shampoo and rinsed my body with my vanilla body wash. Slowly caressing my body, I began to drift off fantasizing about that night in the tent with Jacob. How he felt so good snuggled up against my body. How great he smelled as I inhaled his scent, he engulfed all my senses at that moment he still does even being many miles apart. Those days I fought to prevent myself from feeling for him, I was so blinded, it's like I had a shield that was blocking him from entering my soul. At the time, I felt you can only love one person, and I refused to let Edward go even though he had let me go at one point. Edward was my first love, but our time apart made me grow close to Jacob. This allowed him to heal my broken heart while claiming a piece of it as his own. Not until my wedding day did I feel my heart had completely healed. However, I was a fool, mistaking my happiness as being a direct result from Edwards return. It wasn't until that day, that I finally realized I was making a huge mistake.

The water began to coo so I shoved my head under the stream of water, to rinse the remnants of shampoo out of my hair. I turned the knob shutting off the water; I stepped out the shower and wrapped myself up in a towel.

You're not the same pitiful self-conscious girl you use to be, you are strong, independent and sexy. You know why you didn't go through with the wedding, and why you ran instead of confessing your love for Jacob. It just wasn't the time, at that moment of Jacob's kiss you not only realized that you loved him, you also realized that you wanted to live life to the fullest. Experience everything life has to offer, even if it meant abandoning those you loved. You left because you needed to grow and learn to love yourself, because if you do not love yourself, how can you ever love another person enough to give them your whole heart?

I quickly dressed and made my way back to the kitchen, pushing all my thoughts of the past to the back of my mind. Today was going to be a good day, I told myself repeatedly. Pulling out a frying pan I contemplated what I would make for breakfast, I need my energy if I'm going to make it through my classes today. I had two midterms to take, before I start my spring break vacation. I decided on scrambled eggs with ham and cheese. I pulled out half a loaf of Cuban bread and cut it in half while spreading a little bit of butter for extra flavor. I then positioned the slices in the oven for a few minutes, then I retrieved the slice and cut it in half making sure to leave enough for my roommate, he would be up soon and definitely hungry. I placed the scrambled eggs in the bread to form a sandwich. Then I prepared some Cuban coffee and milk a.k.a CortaditoI giggled at myself, even my thoughts spoke Spanish with a gringa (white girl) accent.

"Hey beautiful, what are you laughing about?" Mike questioned while entering the kitchen rubbing his eyes of sleep. "Not that I mind, I love seeing that gorgeous smile, I don't get to see it that often." He finished while kissing my forehead and plopped his ass in the stool by the counter.

"At myself and how horribly I sound speaking Spanish." I replied grinning at him while placing his plate in front of him.

"Who cares? At least you fully understand the dialect and speak it well enough. All that matters is that the person you're talking too understands you. You're bilingual now baby." He smirked while biting into his sandwich.

"Hey, I have an idea why don't you throw on a sexy bikini and come with me down to the beach? It should be insane, many tourists' are here for spring break getting wasted, should be fun." Mike sang

"I wish I could but unfortunately I'm not as lucky as you, your spring break started early, but I still have two midterms left. By the time I'm done it'll be too late, and I have to work tonight anyways." I responded with an appalled expression.

"Are you performing tonight, or working the bar?" He probed.

"Both" I sighed my response. "So I got to get ready before I get late to class" Placing my plate in the sink.

"Are you coming by tonight?"

Mike responded. "Not sure, hopefully I'll meet, and I quote "a GIRL Gone Wild on the beach that can occupy my time." He said while making imaginary quotation marks in the air. "It's been a while since I got laid, man I'm fucking horny."

I walked away laughing at his bluntness, "Well Good Luck, hope you get your dick wet." I chuckled

I'm here without you baby, But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby, But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me


"Finally free" I sighed stepping out of class, I turned on my phone it was 5:27 pm; the professor had requested they be turned off prior to taking the test. Flipping it open I read my one and only text message.

I miss you

C

I wrote back before shutting the phone and putting it in my back pocket.


After glaring at the clock above the bar for the millionth time, I sighed when I realized it was still early, only 9:30. I just wanted to end my shift so the I can get back to see…

"Hey B, you okay?" Chanel interrupted my train of thought while handing two Heineken's to a man on the other side of the bar. She must have sensed my anxiety.

"I'm fine sweetie, just tired." Pouring myself another shot of patron I continued, "It's been a long day, can't wait to perform." It was the truth, dancing was a part of me, it is my passion. I love how it makes me feel, which is a sense of liberation.

"And I can't wait to watch you; you seriously know how to entrance your audience." She giggled.

"You know I am more than willing to help ease some of your tension." She approached me from behind and wrapped one arm around my waist and the other hand brushed my hair off my shoulder exposing my neck and ear, where she trailed soft kisses down towards my collarbone.

Turning my body facing hers, I looked her in the eyes, "As tempting as that sounds babe, I'll have to pass." I needed to stop her before things went too far; Chanel always had a way of seducing me. She was beautiful, exotic and sexy and even though I am definitely not a lesbian, she always made me extremely horny. She was the only women I have ever been with and she wanted more. Even though the sex was mind blowing, I could not let it go on. Because for me it was just fun, but for Chanel it was more. She wanted a relationship and all I wanted was to experiment. I softly pressed my lips against hers and gave her a quick peck.

"Well Bella baby, you know the offer still stands, I'm here when you need me." She pulled away from me and returned to serving more drinks. "Well I'm going to change; I should be going up soon."

She responded, "Let's see what La Hermosa Cisne, has in store for her audience tonight." She winked with a small glint of lust in her eyes. I smiled back at her, she gave me the nickname after one of my personal performances for her, it means beautiful swan. The name caught on, and has been my stage name ever since.


While wrapping up my performance, the crowd remained silent. That is until I heard a rough male voice yell from the VIP area upstairs, "Now that's what I call a fucking show, Woo!" All while clapping at the same time. The appraisal was flattering which in turn caused the blood to rush to my cheeks and tainted my fair skin pink. Looking up towards the commotion, I gazed into an exquisite pair of onyx eyes. My breath stopped and my heart raced. They look just like Jacob's, but it was impossible, my eyes had to be playing tricks on me. Besides the lights had me blinded it couldn't have been him. What would he be doing all the way across the country? In a strip club no less. Maybe he decided to pay me a visit. Bella quit it with the wishful thinking.

As I walked off the stage, I suddenly felt different. My body trembled, and my hands were shaking. But for once in a long time, I actually felt alive and even whole. This brought a smile upon my face. All my worries from earlier today, faded.

I made my way back to the locker room to take another quick shower and rest for a few minutes. I only had time for a short break because I was requested to dance again, but this time I have to give a lap dance along with my performance. I usually don't give personal dances, I only work the bar but since I was feeling good I decided one dance couldn't hurt. Since the lap dance was going to be for a birthday boy I wanted to be generous, shit, I just might pretend that he's Jacob.

After resting for about 20 minutes, I got dressed. I decided to perform Mya routine; I was feeling especially sexy and confident and that is exactly what the song represents. I had the perfect outfit that would give all the men watching tonight a major woody. While chugging down my fifth shot the D.J. played my song. I walked up the stage, but the lights were off. I gave instructions only to turn the spotlight once I was at center stage. Once the spotlight transfixed on me, my body and mind became entranced by the music. I was so in tune with the music and swayed my hips to the beat. When I danced all my shyness and nervousness disappeared and replaced with confidence and cockiness. I walked towards the stranger and couldn't believe my eyes. I wasn't going crazy before. Jacob, my Jacob was really here and apparently hasn't realized that it's me, oh this is going to be fun. The little devil Bella that sat on my shoulder instigated and convinced me to continue withholding my identity until I was ready to give the lap dance. I wanted to tease him as much as possible making it the best lap dance of his life.

Watching his gaze on me sent chills straight down to my core soaking my panties. His gazed ignited a fire within me without even placing a finger on my body. When did Jake turn into a panty dropper? Wow I have always sensed an attraction towards him but this was ridiculous. If I didn't get my hormones on check I will definitely pounce on him. He has definitely grown some more and is much more buff. He is Beautiful. I decided that it was time to reveal my identity and I did so by removing my hat and releasing my curls. I approached and laughed to myself when I saw his expression. His mouth was open and his eyes where open wide. He probably thinks he's dreaming, maybe I should do something to prove I'm real. After staring him in the eye I bit my lip seductively and then straddled his thighs. But suddenly my playful mood was gone and replaced with desire once I felt his hard cock on my pussy. I began to grind myself on his dick increasing the friction I felt on my clit. It was sending chills all over my body. This felt so right and the tension gradually increased. His hand trailed down my body giving me goose bumps. I rubbed my pussy with much more force against him and my orgasm was at its brink. Once his hand made it's way to my panty my anticipation caused my body to explode. I felt tingles everywhere and I literally saw stars. I have never had such an intense orgasm in my life. It was fucking unbelievable. As soon as I came down from my high, the song ceased. I brought my body back up to look directly in his eyes, and I saw love, devotion, lust and my soul mate. Jacob I whispered and I did what my body wanted to do for two years, I kissed him.

I don't remember how I ended up in the locker room with Jacob or how we ended up in this intimate position. All I knew at that moment was that I had to have him. But my horny thoughts were pushed aside once he stop kissing my neck and broke our trance. He was out of breath from our make out session. His eyes that were just filled of lust were now full of rage

Jacob, what's wrong? I asked

His reply snapped me out of my stupor,

"Where's your husband, Mrs. Cullen?"


Sorry for the wait. The next update will be sooner, I promise. I will have some pics up tomorrow of Bella's apartment and Chanel on my profile. Right now I'm to tired to do it. ;( Sorry Anyways...in regards to this chapter...any questions? I slipped in a few things here and there to keep you guessing. Ley me know your thoughts.