Dragon Age 2 isn't mine. It belongs to Bioware. So is Fenris and my version of Hawke and all the wonderfuness of the world of Thedas!
I blame all written works on the bioware community for inspiring me to write about the stuff in between the years for Angel Hawke and Fenris. Much love to be had by all. Be kind!
Another Life
Angel stared endlessly at the roof of her canopy bed. Her skin crawled, the sound of his voice echoing in her head over and over. Emotion churned in her stomach, and she rolled over on her side. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she closed her eyes, trying to think of something, anything else.
With a sigh, she sat up. Moping around thinking about it wasn't helping. Why was she just lying around anyway? Wasn't there some charity ball or high town luncheon she was supposed to be attending? Why was there no letters of distress because the neighbors dog ate the cat or some such other silliness she seemed to be dealing with on a daily basis?
She stood, and began pacing the floor. Her mind raged at her. Those brown eyes kept appearing and reappearing in her vision as she paced, threatening to overwhelm her. She felt like she was suffocating, leaning against the mantle of her fire place to take a few deep breaths. Outside her window birds chirped, children laughed, and the sun shone. She needed to get out.
She reached her arm into her wardrobe, plucking out her best looking mage tunic and tugged it firmly over her head. It took her a moment, making sure to secure the lightweight silverite chain shirt over the top. She slid her leather breeches up, securing them with the heavy red leather-and-silverite belt. She took her stave into her hand, a fine weapon crafted to look like a quinari pole-arm. She hefted it a moment, letting the buzz of the power trapped within give her small comfort.
She took a moment to glance at herself in the body-long mirror attacked to the door of her wardrobe. Staring back at her was a rave-haired beauty. The woman's golden hawk eyes were lined with a kohl gray and glowed with the hint of a power not to be trifled with. Her pouty lips, painted in a deep reddish brown, looked kissibly soft. Her creamy, lightly tanned skin was free of blemishes and looked fresh as babies breath.
'Maker,' She thought to herself, 'no wonder this sort of thing keeps happening to me.'
Those burnt senna eyes flashed through her mind again, and she trembled involuntarily. She quickly closed the door to her wardrobe, if a little harder then she'd meant to. She spun around, her loose pony tail flopping against her back, and headed out of her room and down the stairs.
"Bohdan? Orana? I'm going out! I need to get some sunshine!"
"Can I have some Salamanders, please?" Sandal yelled as Angel headed for the door.
"Sure Sandal, I'll bring some back!"
The intensity of the sun on her face caused her to wince as she closed the door of the mansion behind her. A warm spring day greeted her, and she took a deep breath. Nothing, was more wonderful, then the smell of Hightown on a warm, spring day. The smell of pies, perfumes, well tended gardens, and arrogance. Compared to the smells of Lowtown, it was heaven.
"I'll go see if Fenris is home. A healthy dose of him aught to make everything better." She muttered to herself as she headed towards the Chantry square. Children ran past her as she walked, clicking the pointy end of her staff against the stone. They were playing chase-and-catch, a game she and her siblings had played when they were young.
The thought of her deceased twin siblings caught her off guard, causing tears to fill her eyes. She hadn't thought of either of them in so long.. there was never usually time to breath, let alone think. The blight had taken them both, just barely at the cusp of life. First Bethany.. sweet, funny Bethany, her bright flame snuffed out in an instant by the hands of an ogre while they were fleeing for their lives. Then Carver, sarcastic, obnoxious, whiny, wonderful Carver. She had put him to the knife herself, but the dreaded blight had been inside her brothers veins.
Sodding Deeproads. If she ever had to back there it would be to soon. She shook her head and continued to walk, letting herself get lost in the clickity-clack of her stave against the hard stone. She wondered, what would have become of her brother and sister, had she stood in their way, taken the ogre's blow or listened to her mothers pleas for Carver to stay behind in Kirkwall. If the blight hadn't come at all...
She wondered what her father would have said about being the champion of Kirkwall. Her father, Malcome Hawke, with his laughing golden eyes and salt-and-pepper hair. A whole new ache grew in her chest, a longing to see her father again, just one more time. He had been a good man, one who had loved her mother, siblings, and herself fiercely. He had taught her to use her magic, and how to hide it.
He had been so proud of her when she had mastered both fire and ice spells. When she had showed him that she had figured out on her own how to heal, he had been impressed. Whe she learned she was able to manipulate the gravity around her, her father had looked at her with a fear in his eyes that she herself had been scared from. Malcome Hawke was no healer, and he was no force mage. Where, then, had his daughter learned it?
"Tell me about your Father?", his voice echoed through her memory, catching her off guard one more time. She cussed at herself silently. She'd thought she had chased out thoughts of him. Thoughts of family usually were good for quashing tortured thoughts of men when you were sworn to love another.
She sat down on the wooden dock, slipping he shoes off. She slid her feet carefully into the cool waters of the harbor, having no idea how she'd managed to walk all the way to the docks. It hadn't even been the direction she was originally headed in. She leaned back against the palms of her hands, eyes closed, and just let the sunshine fill her whole existence for a few moments.
The blazing orange from behind her eyelids helped to chase away all of her thoughts, and she just let herself feel. The breeze off the water cooled her, the gulls screaming overhead filled her ears. It was really a shame she hated being on a boat, otherwise she could really see the appeal that Isabela had always been talking about.
To just hop on a ship and sail away into the sunset, far away from the problems of this city... it was tempting. She couldn't leave Fenris though. No matter what was threatening to haunt her thoughts, she did love Fenris. Mind you, he didn't conjure up images of a quiet life, full of laughing children and warm brown eyes quite the way... the way Anders had.
Anders. The scene came rushing back to her, and she felt heat on her face that had nothing to do with the bright mid-day sun.
"Tell me about your father. He must have been quite the man, to be able to teach both you and your sister magic with out getting caught." Anders had looked at her with his warm brown eyes when he'd asked her. No one had asked her about her father before, and she was all to happy to talk about him.
"Malcome Hawke was a mage here in Kirkwall. He and my mother met by accident, a chance meeting in the Hightown market. They actually ran face first into each other." She had laughed, recalling the story. "Mother always said it was fate, and that she was in love at first sight. I'm not sure if that's true. My father was a bit like you, really.. taking pleasure and fun where he could get it. Must be a circle mage thing."
He had laughed, his voice echoing off the walls of the empty clinic. "I haven't been that way in a few years now, but I was, once, quite the play-boy, yes. A bit more like Isabela then is probably healthy. I get the idea that you're more like your father then you'd like to admit, too, Hawke."
She should have been insulted. She had only been with one man, ever, and it had only been one time. She wasn't though. She definitely enjoyed the game, at the very least. So, she laughed instead. "Maybe, but my mother did teach me how to be a proper lady, when it really counts."
"That's not the way Isabela tells it." He smirked, his eyes dancing from her face to her chest before snapping back.
"Isabela is full of nug-shit. I turned her down when she came calling. I'm sure it would have been fun, but sex isn't something you should just give away to anyone that comes calling. I mean, the game is fun and I enjoy playing it.. but sex should be reserved.. for love." She blushed, looking down at her hands.
"Do you love him?"
"I.. yes, I do."
"Why?" He had moved, so fast, holding both her hands and looking face to face at her, those brown eyes pouring into her with all their sadness and longing. "What would make you love someone who hates everything that you are? Love me, instead, Angel. I don't hate you, I cherish you. You being a mage is a maker granted gift that should be nurtured and worshiped, not brow beat into submission by templars and mage-hating ex-slaves."
She pulled her hands away, pressing her back firmly against the wall. Through clenched teeth, she replied, "He's not like that. You just don't know him."
Anders hands were on her, cupping her face, "No, you don't know him. But I know you. I know that you need a man who understands how delicate you really are. You need a man who loves all of you. Who'll drown the whole world in blood, for you.." He was to close, and his lips brushed against hers. Just the slightest touch, and it set her whole world on fire. He was kissing her then, with all the passion and want and love he could muster. Kissing her to show her just how he felt.
She was gasping, sinking under the waves of passion that came with each kiss. The need to be touched by a man who she could touch back was so strong that it caused her to tremble as they kissed. She clung to him, desperate and sobbing. Hating herself for wanting to be needed this way.. wanting this, him so much, even when she knew it was wrong. Even when it was Fenris that she truly wanted.
When he finally pulled away, Anders looked smug, as if he'd known all along that his kiss alone would break Fenris's spell over her. He wiped teh tears off of her cheeks, and kissed her again, gently.
'I can't.. Anders, I can't.. "
"It's alright Angel. Let me love you."
It had been to much, and she didn't know if she was upside down or right side up. "I.. I have to go."
and she had. She ran, through the endless corridors of the extensive whine cellars that connected his clinic with her home. She'd locked herself in her bedroom, and stared endlessly at the roof of her canopy bed. Thinking about him, his touch.. and Fenris.
"You really shouldn't be out here alone. It's going to be dark soon." Her chest filled with longing as his voice touched her ears and tore out her heart. She opened a single eyeball, looking straight up at the beautiful face of her Fenris. He leaned down gently, filling her vision with a cloud of silvery-white hair and tanned flesh. His lips were upon hers, her nose and cheek nuzzled against his throat as he kissed her. It took her off guard, because Fenris was never a 'public display' kind of man.
She'd been an idiot. Fenris's kiss moved the whole world, and put it right back where it had been before her visit to Anders' clinic. There was nothing more perfect for her, then Fenris. He was worth waiting for. When the kiss finally ended, she looked up at him and smiled. "I Love You", she said simply, pulling her feet out of the water and spinning around to face him properly.
"And I, you."
Varric shuffled the cards in his hands. First he cut the deck, then he put each half between thumb and fingers. With a flick of each wrist, the cards quickly and deftly melted into each other. He tapped the deck against the table, and repeated the process again. Anders sat with wide eyed amazement, watching the quick movements of the dwarf's hands.
"How do you always do that so fast?"
"Heh, it just takes practice, blondie. You should try it, keep those hands busy."
"I have plenty to do with the clinic, and other things."
"Other things, eh blondie? Let me give you a word of advice. You probably shouldn't be kissing Hawke anywhere that word of it will come to my ears. If I know about it, then he'll know about it. I'd hate to see you get your heart ripped out by that magical fist thing he does."
Anders froze, his hands on the pile of cards Varric had dealt to him. Heat crept up into his face, and it took him a solid twenty seconds before he could swallow the lump in his throat. "What? I... "
"Blondie, I know everything that goes on in this town."
Anders sighed, dropping his head to the stone table. "I couldn't help it. Besides, he's hardly a man. More like a half-wild dog ready to bite the hand that feeds it. I just.. wanted her to know that there were more options. I shouldn't feel that way for her, and justice hates it, but I do. You know?"
"The Elf's not so bad. A little broody for my taste, but he's funny. Besides, he's better at Diamondback then you." Varric chuckled, "Maybe I shouldn't like him after all. I get more coin from you!"
Anders smirked, sorting his cards. He had a terrible hand, but it didn't really matter. His thoughts were lingering on the kiss shared between Hawke and him the previous afternoon. He'd been so sure, with the heat behind those redish-brown lips, that she had finally come to her senses. Yet, she'd run off, leaving him standing there like a fool. He was a fool, and Justice was right. Angel Hawke was his personal obsession, a distraction he hardly could afford.
"Deal me us in Varric. Kitten and I are bored of shopping." Anders winced at the sensual voice of Isabela, pulling him away from his thoughts. "Besides, I hear there is juicy gossip to be spread. Something about Anders and Hawke, a steamy embrace in the depths of Darktown.."
Merrill giggled, sitting down beside Isabela with all the grace of a feline. The petite elf was pretty, if a little bit to insane for Anders tastes. He was partial to the dark-haired, brown eyed human type. The thought of Hawke's face brought a blush to his cheeks, and he swore at himself silently. Never before had a woman so utterly fustrated him. He was Anders the playboy. Even the Warden-Commander Queen, with all her earnest green eyes and toned warriors body, hadn't compelled him the way Hawke did.
"So, is it true? Did Hawke chose you over Fenris?" Merrill peered at him, her large green eyes wide in honest curiosity.
"From what I heard, she melted into a puddle. I really am jealous, Anders. She wouldn't 'puddle' for me."
Anders gritted his teeth, deciding it was a good time for a topic change, "So did I ever tell you how I became a warden?"
Varric laughed, "No, but I bet it's a good story. Why don't you start at the beginning."
"Oh, spoilsport. Here Kitten, go get us some drinks at the bar." Isabela pouted, but never the less put her head in her hands, leaning in to listen to the story. Merrill nodded, padding out of Varric's suite towards the bar. "Alright then, how did you become a warden?"
"I'd escaped from the tower for my 7th time. I'd spent nearly a year in solitary at that point. Gregor was trying to convince Irving that I should be executed, but thankfully Irving thought I was nothing more then a charming scamp, and no real danger to anyone." His voice was laced with an edge of bitterness, but he continued on. "In any case, I had caught word that the circle's phylactery stores had been moved to Amaranthine after Hawke's cousin, wouldn't you know, Amell, had assisted a Blood Mage destroy a few of them to escape. I managed to slip out durring the whole Uldred Abominiation thing. I just missed meeting her then, you know."
"Her?" Varric fingered his mug, listening intently. "Her who?"
"Why, the Hero of Ferelden, of course. She had come looking for recruits to fight off the blight, and saved the mages from the Right of Annulment. I missed her by days. Anyways, I headed towards Amaranthine, and spent time there under the guise of a brothel worker. Fun times, I miss them. I spent about a year dodging the templars there while a friend tried to find out information for me."
"Oh I met her. We had quite the time, if I remember correctly. Her and that warden Alistair. Who knew a ex-templar could have.."
Anders cleared his throat, "My story, not yours. You can tell me all about it another time."
Isabela laughed, "Fine, but you spoil all my fun."
"The blight was over, and I still had no idea where my Phylactery was. I got antsy, because my .. friend.. had disappeared. I decided to do a bit of my investigating on my own. It was half way to a farm house when I got caught by the templars. I apparently was to be brought in and executed. Fun stuff, really. But, the where headed to Vigil's Keep to restock, and so that's where we headed."
Anders took a drink, shooting a thankful glance at Merrill, who stared endlessly, enthralled in his story. "We couldn't have had worse timing. We got there ten minutes before the Darkspawn attacked. Apparently there was a whole legion of Orlesian wardens stationed there, a gift to the wardens after the blight. I'm not exactly sure how I managed to survive the attack, but my templar friends sure didn't. I was roasting the last of the twitching fiends when she broke through the door."
"Wow! Did she really? Did she kick the door in and everything?"
Anders laughed, "That she did, Merrill. This petite, toned, dark haired, beauty of a woman covered head to toe in armor and wielding two of the biggest long-swords I had ever seen came crashing through the door behind me, ready to cut any darkspawn that might have been in the room into tiny peices. The only thing I could do was look around at the dead templars and darkspawn, and say, 'I didn't do it'."
Varric roared. "You didn't do it, eh blondie?"
"Nope, I had actually not killed the templars, though I would have liked to. But, its not a good idea to kill big, armored men when Darkspawn are trying to kill you. Anyway, she's standing there, staring daggers and knives and those long-swords at me, and then she started asking me questions! How did the assault happen, who was left alive, so on and so forth. I thought I was dead, and she asks if I can heal. So I followed her. Followed her as she cut a path through the Darkspawn like they were WEEDS. I have never before or after ever met another person as small as this woman was be able to take on so many Darkspawn at once."
"I always knew I should be scared shitless of her. She was fun though." Isabela smirked.
"That she was."
"Oh? Wasn't she married by then?"
"Yes, she was. I didn't sleep with her, though I would have liked to. I had the feeling she was interested. Not nearly enough time to twiddle away at her resolve for King Alistair though. Her faithfulness to him even irritated Nathaniel, but that's another story." Anders grinned and took a gulp off of his mug. "In any case, after we ran into Oghren.. erh, he's a Dwarf, and also another story... we headed up to the ramparts. There, we found the senechal in the clutches of a TALKING darkspawn. Very creepy."
"Darkspawn don't talk!" Merrill gasped, looking down at her mug with wide eyes.
"Oh, they do.. its hard to explain and I'd rather not go into it. To talk about it usually invites them to suddenly appear and we've got enough problems in this city with out darkspawn." Anders said with a smirk, " Besides, The Warden-Commander cut its head off with a single swipe of those long-swords, and saved the day in one single moment."
Varric delt out another hand, listening intently as Anders told the story. "So, the day is saved, and Vigil's Keep is utterly cleansed of the darkspawn. We just start getting things in order.. and here comes the king and a huge entorage of knights. This is when we found out that the Warden-Commander was also the Queen of Ferelden. She's standing there, staring the King in the face.. and then Kisses him! I about died, because untill then I had no idea who this woman was, other then scary strong and possibly insane."
"So she's the Queen of Ferelden, which makes her the Hero of Ferelden, and ten times scarier then she was 5 minutes previous because shes killed an Archdemon and survived. I was so busy dwelling on that very fact that I didn't even notice the Templar till it was to late. 'blablabla dangerous apostate, blablabla' and both the king and the queen looked at that lady-templar and I thought the world was going to explode. 'He assisted us in protecting several dozen survivors from a Darkspawn attack, including myself. He's not dangerous, and I see no need for him to be returned to the circle.' She said that! I about died. No one sticks up for mages! I had no idea that some of her best friends were mages at the time, but even still! And then she turned to me, and said, 'I cannot protect you unless you become a Warden. If you do, I can offer you freedom from the circle for your assistance here.'"
Varric stared, unbelieving, as Anders took a breath. "Andraste's holy tits, blondie! She conscripted you to keep you out of the circle?"
"That she did. The look on the Templar-Commander's face was PRICELESS. And King Alistair agreed with her! 'If anyone knows the worth of someone, its my wife. If she feels he can aid the wardens here, then she has my blessing'. It really is a shame the rest of the Wardens aren't all like Her. Did you know she conscripted the son of the man who slaughtered her whole family? I think originally it was out of revenge, but She and Nathaniel ended up being really good friends."
"You're full of shit. No way did that happen." Varric sputtered, setting his mug down with a thump.
"Makers honest truth. That woman collected the strangest cast of friends I have ever met. Maybe one day I'll tell Merrill about the crazy, murderous Dalish elf we recruited. Or perhaps about the Legion of the Dead Dwarf. And then, there was Justice, whom you've all met, sort of." Anders grinned. It was nice to think about happier, even if chaotic, times. The look on his friends faces were more then worth it.
"Another round, blondie? And don't think you're getting out of telling us what happened between you and Hawke."
Two entries combined into one to give it a little bit of substance. Love it or hate it, there it is XD 333333333333
