Hawks' hands curl around the downy soft feather and he holds it close to his heart. Mourning for a life he never had a chance to live. Listening to his father's audio logs leaves him with an empty and confused feeling. How is he supposed to feel and process everything? Hawks comes to the conclusion that his father was nothing but a monster, willingly operating and cutting open an angel just to advance humanity? Anger begins to fester within his heart and he glowers at an unassuming corner of the room.

His mother was just as much as a fool as his father, what even possessed her to stay with him? She had a chance to fly and be free yet she allowed his father to remove her wings?

"He was wrong." Hawks mutters and looks back down at the small feather. Even if he never had the chance to fly and truly be free, finally after all these years- he knows what had been missing in his life.

His freedom.

For the first time in a month, Hawks has no dreams and doesn't visit Dabi in his realm. Instead, all that surrounds him is suffocating darkness.


His eyes slowly crack open and for a moment, he stays still- confused why he isn't at his apartment. As his eyes slowly adjust to the moonlit room, a dark figure gets his attention. Hawks bolts up in bed and a freezing hand clamps down over his mouth.

"Shh." Its raspy voice comes out as a slither and Hawks can see a puff of breath from behind him. His heart begins to thunder against his rib cage as the hand tightens for a second- its ice cold nails bite into his skin before letting go.

"We have to go." There's a soft hiss from behind him before it fades away and Hawks blinks up at Shouto who's standing at the foot of his bed.

"You could've let me know like a normal human and not scare the living shit out of me like that." The smallest smile flickers over Shouto's features before he moves towards the window and motions Hawks to follow.

"You were dead asleep. Besides, where's the fun in being a normal human, when neither of us are a human to begin with?" Shouto points to the box and Hawks picks it up and follows Shouto and steps out into the silent spring night.

They move under the cover of darkness, Shouto makes an occasional turn down a derelict alleyway and Hawks complies without too much complaining. There's always a soft white light in the corner of his eye that fades away if he dwells on it for too long, always dancing in and out of view. Hawks can't take the silence for much longer and he clears his throat, doing his best to ignore the white wispy light to his left.

"So," Shouto stops and glances over his shoulder at Hawks before taking a right- Hawks close behind him, "Is this what kids do these days? When I was your age," Hawks trails off and shakes his head, "Uh, never mind."

"No, please continue. I'd love to have a history lesson right now."

"Good to see kids still have attitude problems." Hawks mutters under his breath and shudders as the white light floats near him and a gust of cold air envelopes him.

"I thought you said she only comes to you in your dreams?" They stop in front of a small building and Shouto pulls open the door.

"It's three in the morning, this is the only time she can have a form outside of my dreams." He answers flatly.

"She isn't trying to kill you." Hawks observes and Shouto watches him for a moment before looking over at the white light, shaking his head.

"She only does that in my dreams. Like I said, only broken memories of her remain. Maybe when she has a physical form- she still clings to who she used to be instead of a murderous spirit. Never thought to ask her."

"She can talk?"

"No." Hawks rolls his eyes, restraining to say anything else in order to escape another blast of cold air from the spirit.

They enter a small room that's set up similarly to a run down motel room. Shouto is already turning towards the door to leave and Hawks sits down on the thin mattress with the box at his side.

"How much longer do I have to hide like this?" Shouto pauses at the door, his hand tightens around it and he turns around- looking Hawks straight in the eye.

"Until my father is dead." Without another word, Shouto leaves and Hawks stares at the door. He finds himself asking where in the hell did his life turn so upside down? Dabi's words float in his mind, 'When I was created as a monster.' Right, Hawks is sure that he could also apply that quote to his life. As he drifts back asleep, he figures that his various foster parents throughout the years have been right all along. He really is a monster.


The house he's in is deathly silent and all of the lights are off. Despite the bright and sunny day, there's not a beam of sunlight to be seen in the house at all. Hawks is able to see around the small room if he squints and he notices that it's relatively bare and almost unnaturally clean- not a speck of dust to be seen. A threadbare sofa sits flushed against a staircase that leads up to the second floor and in front of him is an archway that goes into the kitchen. A television across from the well worn sofa flickers on, it's on mute and the pictures are in black and white.

He stares, transfixed by the television and its flickering images. It's showing him snippets of his childhood and seeing it through a third person view draws him in closer. A single word begins to flash across the dim screen and on the second flash, he finally understands what it says. Monster.Soon, that singular word takes up the whole screen and keeps flashing at him until he takes a step backwards- disgusted.

Hawks pauses and looks over his shoulder- up towards the looming darkness of the second floor. He can't shake the feeling of being watched and the hairs on the back of his neck are standing on end. He begins to move away from the staircase when he hears a crinkle of a candy wrapper being crumpled up. Hawks doesn't move and a bright amber colored wrapper drops and bounces down the staircase, with each bounce- its crinkle sounds off like a gun shot. As it lands on the second to last stair, it stills and silence envelopes the house once more. Slowly, his eyes lift up towards where it came from and nearly bites down on his tongue when he sees long grey fingers wrap around the wall from upstairs.

Bird-like talons dig into the wooden wall before the hand creeps forward, slowly getting closer to the stair banister. He's able to see the thin wrist and spindly grey arm that shoots out from the darkness. A dry chuckle rings out softly above him as the fingers wrap around the banister and pulls the being closer to the stairs.

Through the darkness, gold eyes glint dangerously as they study Hawks. There's more scraping and suddenly, the whole second floor corridor is alight with dozens of red eyes that peer back at him with hunger. Chattering fills the heavy air and they turn muffled as the golden eyed monster finally pulls itself into the light. He towers over the others behind him and he clicks his massive bird beak shut.

A dusting of brown feathers begin around at the base of his beak and go down the length of his neck, covering almost his whole body but stopping at his elbows which thin out gradually until only showing the sickly grey skin. Well muscled and scaly legs walk into view, Hawks watches as they bend backwards and the massive talons of his toes click against the wooden floor. The monster pauses and tilts his head, the largest toe of his foot clicks and digs down into the floor's grain.

A tiny, knee sized bird bursts from behind the towering monster and bobs its head a few times, studying Hawks with bright crimson eyes. Its small beak opens and shuts a few times before it jerks his head up to look at the monster above it.

"Looks like this one lost his wings, boss." Its tiny chattering is whispered almost as sweetly as the morning sparrows that sing outside of Hawks' window, but its unbridled glee is making Hawks nervous.

"What a shame." The massive monster finally speaks- his voice is low and smooth. He speaks eloquently and sounds bored. His small friend hops forward and clacks his beak together a few more times. Hawks watches as the tall monster steps fully into the light and spreads his enormous mousy brown wings- shrouding Hawks' sight of the other blinking red eyes behind him. Long primary feathers reach up towards the ceiling and brush against it.

"What a shame," He repeats, quietly this time and blinks down at Hawks, "I've no use for the broken. It is time for you to perish, Hawks." With that, the monster steps back into the darkness as hordes of other bird monsters burst from the darkness and scramble down the stairs towards him. Hawks turns on his heel and makes a bee line towards the front door. It slams shut and he's locked inside the dark house with the monsters behind him.

As sharp talons and beaks dig into his back, Hawks' screams are drowned out by the monsters' cackles. There's a second's pause and everything goes numb as Hawks' vision begins to fade in and out. He clenches his eyes closed and prays for anything to stop the excruciating pain. Hawks feels his heart lurch and a headache blooms between his temples.

Everything goes quiet save for slow footsteps approaching from the kitchen, its claws click against the linoleum as it leisurely strolls forward. The monsters stop digging into his body and turn around towards the intruder. Hawks curls into himself and there's a quiet sigh from the kitchen.

"Still up to no good, I see." Dabi's soft baritone cuts through the silence, suddenly, the monsters around him burst back to life and they let out a screech of rage. Before they can take a step his direction, they're engulfed in blue hellfire and quickly turn to ash.

Hawks turns around slightly and sees Dabi standing in the middle of smoking remains, both hands in his pants' pockets. Bathed in his fire's light, his silver sutures are a cobalt blue and Dabi says nothing as he walks towards Hawks.

"What are you doing here?" Hawks manages to ask, the gaping cuts in his back scream in protest and he lets out a hiss. Dabi's eyes flicker from Hawks and to his back, narrowing slightly before he shakes his head.

"You need to stop worming your way into other's dreams because it's going to cost you your life one of these days." An overwhelming smell of bleach fills the room and Dabi scrunches his nose, "You would end up in his dream realm." He mutters and a tall shadow materializes from behind Dabi- easily towering over him. Dabi turns around and greets the shadow like an old friend.

"I'll be damned. Chisaki, here I thought that we killed you the first time. Good to see you're still kicking." Chisaki narrows his eyes and shoots out a thin hand out that grazes against Dabi's right arm. It instantly explodes into a mass of blood and broken bone fragments. Dabi stumbles back slightly and lets out a low hiss.

"Jesus, fuck. I see you're still pissed about last time." Dabi's right arm melds back into existence and Hawks watches in sick fascination as bone pieces back together with muscle and tendons twining to the bone until his skin grows over the newly formed arm- smoke smoldering in some places. His jacket sleeve doesn't grow back and Dabi's arm flexes experimentally, lean muscle ripples from underneath his skin. Dabi glances up from his new arm and back to Chisaki, rolling back his shoulders.

"Guess you want a round two?" More eyes appear from upstairs, Chisaki melts back into the shadows with a grin and Dabi sighs, "Now that's not very fair." He glances over his shoulder at Hawks with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't suppose you can summon some friends?"

"What?" Dabi swiftly steps to the side as a monster lunges at him, it stumbles and he presses a clawed foot over its head- squeezing as a trail of fire runs down Dabi's body and coats the monster.

"You're really gonna make me fight all of 'em by myself? I'm flattered and all, but even I have limits. Do the thing."

"What thing?" Hawks kicks at another monster and without turning, Dabi sends a fireball towards it.

"The thing!" Dabi shouts over his shoulder, waving a hand around impatiently.

"Thanks for the clarification." Hawks mutters.

"Just close your fuckin' eyes and think, shouldn't be too hard for you." Dabi growls and stomps his foot down, sending a wave of hellfire towards a group of screaming monsters. Scratching from upstairs gets both of their attention and hundreds of eyes glow from the darkness. Dabi beings to curse under his breath and a monster flies by, racking its claws across his cheek- giving him a half of a chelsea grin. Black blood oozes from the wound and dribbles onto his white shirt. Seeing Dabi take so much damage because of him makes Hawks feel guilty, there's a painful lurch in his heart and a sharp pain that explodes within his head. As Hawks grips the side of his head, a blur of red flashes past him. Standing between Dabi and the hordes of monster, three figures pick themselves up from the floor and look around in bewilderment. Dabi whirls around and motions to them with exasperation.

"Really? You summon the ones that tried to kill you?" True to his word- Shigaraki, Himiko and Jin glance from Dabi and Hawks and towards the rushing monsters.

"The fuck?" Shigaraki whispers, rounding towards Dabi, "What did you do?" The two begin to bicker as Himiko jumps up and waves to Hawks with a wide smile.

"Hi Hawks!" Jin keeps looking to and fro between the monsters and shuffles around on his feet.

"I really don't wanna be here. I can't wait to kick some ass! Please let me go back. Fuck that!" Jin doubles over and with a short shout, his form begins to bubble and soon a hulking mass stands in his place. Without hesitation, Jin throws himself into the throng of monsters.

With the odds evened out a little bit, they slowly begin to gain the upper hand. As more of the avian like monsters begin to die out, Dabi lets out a sigh of relief. Hawks stumbles to his feet- ignoring the searing pain on his back. Suddenly, there's a crash from upstairs and all five of them stop moving and look to the ceiling as thundering footsteps make a dash towards the stairs.

A massive figure drenched in black liquid screams at them, its beak stretches and pops out of place as several arms sprout from its back. Glowing gold eyes glare down at them and it jumps from the second floor landing and towers over even Jin in his second form. Dabi throws up his hands as the contorted monster takes a step towards them.

"Congratulations Hawks, you made me hate my life more than I thought I could." Shigaraki glances over from Dabi and to Hawks, crimson eyes studying him with a look of pure fury before a hand swings at him- making Shigaraki crash through a wall.

"Stay on your toes!" Himiko sings, laughing as she dances out of the monster's flailing arm. Jin lets out a growl and rushes at Chisaki. They exchange bone shattering blows as the other three begin to whittle away at Chisaki's lower part of his body. Occasionally, a bubbling and distorted hand will sweep around the ground- making Dabi, Himiko and Shigaraki scatter for a moment before regrouping. Dabi doesn't dodge an arm in time and is sent flying backwards. He crashes somewhere behind Hawks and he grits his teeth together. Ever since he somehow summoned Himiko, Jin and Shigaraki- his migraine has increased tenfold and his vision doubled.

Swaying on his feet, he looks behind him and can only see the hole in the wall from Dabi and more pain begins to blossom throughout his body. If Chisaki's deformed and powered up form can take out Dabi, they're going to be in deep shit. Panic begins to claw its way up Hawks' throat and he turns back to glower at the giant monster. He watches as Chisaki swings another arm, Himiko lets out a yelp and is thrown off balance. Shigaraki reaches out with a hand and part of Chisaki's form disintegrates before healing again. One of Chisaki's hands catches Jin's incoming fist and like what he did with Dabi, Jin's fist explodes and he stumbles back with an earsplitting scream.

Hawks' migraine begins to migrate towards the front of his head and another flash of red appears, at his feet lays a military grade pistol. It doesn't look like much but Hawks knows the bullets inside of the gun are heavy tranquilizers that could even put the devil, himself, to sleep. Bending down with shaking hands, it takes him a second to pick up the gun. Hawks blinks, trying to get rid of his double vision but it only makes things worse and he starts to feel dizzy. Raising the pistol, it sways dangerously in his grasp. Lining up his target as best as he could Hawks is about to pull the trigger when a mottled purple hand with silver stitches snatches it away from his grasp and steadies the aim.

"You really piss me off." Dabi mumbles to Chisaki and pulls the trigger in rapid succession. Dabi doesn't react to the pistol's recoil, Hawks follows his gaze and sees several entry wounds in Chisaki's hulking body. Dabi side eyes Hawks with a wry smile and tosses the empty pistol to his feet.

"Feels good to be the one that's shooting instead of being shot at for once." Chisaki lets out a muted scream before his body begins to bubble and under all the black liquid, lies his original form- riddled with bullet holes. While Himiko is busy consoling Jin and his lost hand, Shigaraki stalks over to them and points a bone thin finger accusingly at Hawks.

"I don't appreciate being summoned like a pet." Shigaraki is keeping a calm presence but Hawks can feel the frustration rolling off in waves from him. Hawks blinks at Shigaraki for a moment.

"Well I don't appreciate that you tried to kill me earlier." Dabi gives a low whistle and crosses his arms, looking from between Shigaraki and Hawks.

"Feisty." Hawks turns from Shigaraki and glares up at Dabi.

"Get me out of here." Dabi holds up his hands in mock surrender and shrugs.

"You're the one that got me and them in here. You let us out, I can't do shit."

"Then what do I do?"

"I dunno, wake up?"

"I can't wake up!"

"I'll give you something to wake up to." Shigaraki mutters and reaches a hand towards Hawks, as soon as all five fingers rest against his face- he can feel himself starting to crumble. Shigaraki turns to Dabi.

"Why do you make things so difficult?"

"I wanted to s-" His answer is cut short and Hawks chokes on ash- vision fading to nothing.


Hawks jolts awake, his back is still screaming out in pain but that doesn't catch his attention. What does, is the lack of a bloody nose and four bright red secondary feathers that lay against the mattress.


Author's Note

I know this chapter is way shorter than my usual chapters in this fic but honestly? I wrote and rewrote this chapter like 10 times and was getting frustrated and basically was like "good enough" ugh. Shout out to my own nightmares that serve as inspiration for Hawks' nightmares.
All that was going through my mind when Hawks was getting attacked and wishing for anything to make it stop was that scene from Lilo and Stitch where Lilo is praying for a really nice friend and the scene switches to Stitch surrounded by fire and laughing maniacally. So, there's that lol.
So you know how in the manga, Hawks can get things with his feathers? That's kind of what happened in this chapter.
I can't wait for the next chapter though! It's going to be a long one, there's going to be so much angst and sadness. We all know that's my specialty so of course I'm excited to break all the characters.
That's all for now, until then!
Reviews are always welcome!