Dear readers,

You know how I keep promising you that I will update soon with this chapter or that and then months pass and you are all left hanging until you can't even remember the story I wrote and so you have to go back and read it all over?

Well I am sorry about that! I really, really am! I would like to say that life keeps getting in the way, but the honest truth is that despite the fact that I have mapped the entire plot line out and I know what I want to happen, I find my... I don't know… voice and creative energy blocked?

Anyways, this chapter is a little short, yes, but I plan to immediately follow it up with another longer, deeper chapter. I've already written it. I just feel like it deserves its own moment to shine instead of being squashed in here with all this stuff.

So, without further ado! The song for this chapter is Undisclosed Desires by Muse (I love Muse :D).

Disclaimer: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... wait I don't own that series either!

Chapter 7: Undisclosed Desires

JPOV:

I shifted in my seat for the fourth time in a minute. The room smelled of sweat and Spandex and I tried not to wrinkle my nose in disgust. My throat was beginning to burn as the multiple heartbeats in the room pumped blood actively through their bodies. The emotions in the room were smothering me. Excitement, fatigue, lust, frustration, they all clamored in my head and mouth, each flavor making me more impatient.

The emotion that I was paying the most attention to was the maddening frustration rolling off of Bella as she picked herself up off the wood floor. Her face was flushed and her eyes sparked with passionate anger. She'd been at this for an hour. Her technique and passion were good but her partner was trying to dance with a broken wrist and was pale and sweating in pain.

"Come on, Bella," the instructor -an odious woman with fake blonde hair and an unnatural tan who I was sure had never danced professionally in her life- said approaching Bella's angry form. "I know you can do better!" I watched Bella's face grow redder with anger and had to intervene.

"Miss Penelope," I said and her eyes immediately locked on me, a wide predatory smile spreading her face. A bucketful of lust seemed to ooze over me like tar and I grimaced inwardly.

"Yes, Jasper?"

"I was thinking that perhaps Mr. Robinson would like a break. He looks dehydrated. Bella and I have practiced this routine and I feel perhaps she might be more comfortable with someone she's familiar with." She looked to Bella who was staring at me like I'd spoken Chinese.

"Mr. Robinson? Bella? Does that sound okay with the both of you?" Bella's partner nodded and shot me a grateful look. I nodded and moved to his spot.

"You said you had some dancing experience, Jasper. Why don't you and Bella show us your routine?"

"Of course. You don't mind if I play a different song, do you?" Bella kicked me and then hissed at the pain of stubbing her toes on my legs.

"Of course not! Whatever you need, Jasper." I followed her to the stereo system and plugged in Bella's iPod. I selected the song I was looking for.

"Would you please press the play button when I ask?" She nodded solemnly, like I had just asked her to have my child instead of operating an iPod. I walked back to Bella who was shooting daggers at me and I felt the nervousness and annoyance radiating off of her like heat waves.

"What are you doing," she hissed at me as I helped position her. "I've never danced with you in my life!"

"I know that," I drawled calmingly. "But you once said that no one dances as well as a vampire. Just follow my lead," I whispered, sending a wave of confidence to her. I nodded to Penelope and the music started. Bella's eyes widened at the familiar music and she smiled at me. I stepped toward her and she stumbled. Penelope stopped the music.

"Sorry," I said to her. "We were off on the beat." I pulled Bella back to me. "Relax. The tango isn't a dance to be thought about. It's a dance of emotion. Passion and fluidity; you don't have to think about when you move, you do so when it feels natural. Just go with it." I enveloped us in a wave of desire and she swallowed thickly. Penelope started the song again and this time when I moved, Bella moved with me, eyes locked on mine.

We began to move around the room and she dipped down and extended her leg in a circle around her. I pulled her up and her breathing hitched as she looked up at me with dark, heavy eyes. I spun her away and pulled her back to me, running my hands up her arms to her neck while her head rested drunkenly on my shoulder. We danced together, her breathing becoming more and more labored as we moved. I lost myself in the emotions rolling off of her, the beauty of her body twisting and spinning. When I grabbed her leg and pulled up to my hip, I didn't need to tell myself to gently caress the soft, fragile skin of her thigh. As her heartbeat quickened, I moved my lips to her neck, breathing in her beautiful scent, feeling the pulsing of the blood beneath her skin on my lips. The music came to an end as I spun her into my arms and dipped her low. She looked up at me, breathing heavily, skin shimmering in a thin sheen of sweat and tinged pink with the exertion she'd just displayed. I stared at her, taking in the electricity flowing between us and relaying it back instinctively.

"Well," Penelope exclaimed, pulling us from out moment. "That was very impressive!" The class clapped enthusiastically and we smiled modestly. "Class dismissed." Bella changed out of her dance clothes in the dressing room and collected her bag and thanked everyone for their compliments as we moved towards the exit of the studio. I helped her into the car in silence and then climbed into the driver seat and we left.

The car ride was silent as she stared out the window. I tried to read her emotions but only got confusion and guilt, which only puzzled me more. Was she angry with me? Was she embarrassed about performing such an intimate dance with me? Could that be it? I suddenly felt angry with myself for pushing her so far. At the time, it seemed like I was helping her, proving that she knew what she was doing. Now as I sat in the silence of the car, I realized that perhaps she didn't want her abilities exploited in the form of a dance that many people had described as foreplay on the dance floor.

I looked over at her again and this time my eyes met hers. I stared in to the chocolate brown pools of emotion, trying to gauge what she was feeling now. Her face was conflicted, part affection, part guilt. Why? I thought about our dance, remembering the feel of my hands moving over her overheated skin as we danced. I remembered her lithe movements, her shallow breathing. She'd ignited a fire within me, the feeling of life that I hadn't felt since Alice had been alive.

Oh God.

Alice.

I was suddenly crushed with self loathing. How could I have been so close to Bella, so connected to her after Alice? Dancing was something Alice and I had shared; a form of therapy she had introduced, the first thing she had done with me that had healed my torn and blackened soul after Maria's lies and bloodbath. To betray her memory of our life together so frivolously, so uncaringly made me feel sick.

I looked back to Bella but her head was turned from me. I smelled the saltiness of her tears and watched her shoulders shake slightly from her repressed sobs. More guilt descended on my heart as I realized now how much I had hurt her in my hasty and selfish actions. I had put her in the position of betraying her best friend, a sister even.

My correspondence with her had taught me one thing above all others: Bella loved Alice deeply, with intensity above normal human emotion. Her loyalty and attachment to Alice hadn't dissipated, even after all the time that had passed. Her grief was still one of her dominant emotions and her nightmares had become so frequent and crippling that I had been laying in bed with her at night for the past three months, crooning poetry and classic literature to her to help her sleep easier. This action helped her to remain calm or to calm her down when the horrors of her subconscious became too much to bear.

How foolish I had been! I should have realized the implications of my actions and the consequences of making her feel such strong, passionate emotions about the man her best friend was married to. What kind of sick, sadist was I that had made her feel amorous and lustful after me, her new best friend and the widow of her former best friend? I had to make it up to her but I didn't know how I could fix this. She didn't talk to me about her feelings and that hurt because I obviously knew she had them, experienced them with her, I didn't know why she felt what she did. Why was her grief always mingled with guilt? Was it simple survivor's guilt or something more?

If I was being honest with myself, I couldn't completely regret my actions tonight. Their consequences, yes: I hated that I had hurt Bella so impulsively. But I honestly cared deeply for Bella. And while my ability to open myself up to the possibility that Alice was actually correct as usual, I couldn't relinquish my love for her enough to consider the future and the possibility that Bella might become a more permanent fixture in it. I knew that I would be devastated if I lost her, much like Alice, but there was only one soul mate and mine had died in a fire. But tonight, watching Bella get angry and frustrated when I knew as well as she did that she had the ability to perform that entire dance on a professional level was so adorable and I wanted to be the one who helped her showcase her talent, her ability. I didn't want it to be that bumbling human of a boy -often reminding me of Mike Newton -who couldn't even bear to let her down and suffered through the pain to let her dance. I wanted it to be me and the tango is such a deeply personal dance that I didn't want her feeling any of those things with him. He didn't know her like I did! He didn't calm her down when her nightmares became too much to bear and fear paralyzed her; I did.

So as I listened to her tears slide down her silky cheeks, I knew that while I regretted hurting her, I didn't regret that she and I had shared something so personal.

I would make this up to her.

I had to.

So at last we discover that Jasper isn't just being friendly out of platonic obligation! And that tango… I tried to be as descriptive as possible without becoming so technical that it took away the magic of the tango. I used lots of videos on youtube to help me out and if you guys want to see something similar to what I was using, search for Derek Hough, DWTS, or Julianne Hough. Those were my favorites.

Just a heads up you guys, I'm going to be publishing some fics for other fandoms soon and while I doubt you are all familiar with them all, I would love it if you guys checked them out. I have a Stargate:Universe oneshot that even if you aren't familiar with the plot or characters is a real tearjerker. And then I am soon publishing a Captain America and the Avengers one... it's not purist comic universe though I am sure I will get some crap for that but honestly, I saw the thing and it wouldn't get out of my head. So if you've seen the movie, good enough! Check them out and let me know what you think of my efforts to branch out.

I am also going to be publishing a Bella/Emmett fic. A little weird I know, but at least try and give it a chance. He's not your typical completely inappropriate, immature self. It's a beautiful story... though so wrong in some ways.

Next chapter: Therapy!

p.s. guys I think I might change my pen name... it's kind of... well fandom specific and dirty lol. Thoughts?