CARLY SAYS.
Carly: Good evening everyone, you are listening to Carly Says...
Freddie: ….
Carly: ….
Freddie: Uhm. Yes. I'm Freddie Benson.
Carly: …
Freddie: And she's Carly Shay. And this is... Carly Says. Wait. She already said that. So scratch that. Well! Carly? Carls, don't you have something to say? An intro of some sort? We just introduced ourselves.
Carly: I don't have an intro.
Freddie: You don't have an intro? You don't have a morally themed story to share with me and the rest of the world?
Carly: Can't say that I have, Freddie.
Freddie: But you always experience something that pisses you at least mildly off.
Carly: Not today. Not this week.
Freddie: But... what will we talk about then? You sure you didn't experience something bad?
Carly: A pigeon ate my sandwich in the park today.
Freddie: A pigeon ate your sandwich? That the best you can do?
Carly: A pigeon did eat my sandwich. I just put it on a napkin on a bench in the park. I was going to eat it in a second. I just had to open up my soda.
Freddie: And then the pigeon ate your sandwich? Christ! Bad pigeon, bad pigeon! Shame on you, all pigeons of the world!
Carly: Yes.
Freddie: And then what happened?
Carly: Nothing more happened.
Freddie: That's the end of the story?
Carly: That's the end of the story.
Freddie: Exciting things are still happening everyday! Be careful people, if you go to the park and leave your sandwich on a bench, it might get eaten by a pigeon. Yes, now I'm scared to go to the park...
Carly: You're making fun of me.
Freddie: I'm not making fun of you.
Carly: Yes you are. But I can't even get mad at you.
Freddie: I hear that we have a caller through on the phone! Who's with me?
First caller: You guys suck!
Second caller: Go off air!
Freddie: That's uncalled for. I mean, just because we have one bad show, doesn't- oh, they hung up. Wonderful. OK, alright. So... Since the only bad thing that happened to Carly this week involves a pigeon, we'll be talking about pigeons tonight. Or perhaps I should expand a bit and just leave it out there and say that we're just talking about birds in general? I guess I'll do that. If anyone – and here I'm just talking at the top of my head – has a story to share about birds – any bird will be just fine, thank you – then I'll love to hear all about it. Carly will too. Though she's not saying much... at the... moment.
Carly: I'll be happy to hear, because the other day...
Freddie: Yeah!
Carly: The other day, a bird pooped in my hair.
Freddie: A pigeon again, I guess?
Carly: I don't know. Maybe. Could be a pigeon. But it pooped all over me, and I had to-
Freddie: OK, we have another caller through with us! Please tell us a story, will ya'?
Spencer: Stop the show, Freddie.
Freddie: Spencer is that you?
Carly: ...Spence?
Spencer: Stop the show, Freddie. You've really tried your best, even if you haven't had much to work with.
Monica: But you're not really Carly, and you're not funny the way she is. Though we admire you for trying so hard.
Spencer: We really do, but if we have to listen to this for one more night, our ears will bleed.
Freddie: My ears are bleeding. Badly.
Monica: Stop the show, Fred!
Spencer: Quit while you're ahead.
Carly: But-
Freddie: And as of right now, there is no more Carly Says! I'm making a decision here, Carly, and that's it.
Carly: Freddie...
Spencer: Good for you, Freddie.
Freddie: Everyone, thanks for listening, I'm sorry for the past few weeks and how they've been so horrible... if anyone is still listening, kudos to you! I don't know when we'll be back – if we'll be back... but, right now, we're taking a much needed break. This was Freddie Benson.
Carly: And Car-car-
Freddie: And Carly Shay. This was Freddie Benson and Carly Shay of Carly Says! Thank you and goodnight.
This Emptiness is Killing Me, and I'm Wondering Why I've Waited So Long?
"There's so empty in here now." Carly whispered to herself, running a finger across the kitchen table. Her eyes sought the entire room out, lingering on every possible surface to see if there was something leftover from Sam and the time she had spent living there.
There's so fucking empty in here now. She was the thing keeping this place alive.
Turning around, Carly went straight for the refrigerator, but she did not open it. Instead, she reached out and held a finger to the piece of paper which hung there, a curled note which had been sitting on the kitchen table the evening Carly had come home and found all of Sam's things gone.
"We had a good run." Carly read aloud, the words getting caught in her throat one by one, "Thanks for letting me stay here. I'd hoped it was going to last longer." she needed a good long fresh batch of new air here. "I really hope you'll learn to take things more upside down, Carls. For you own sake. Sam."
Sam, Carly thought to herself and traced the outlines of her name with her fingernail. She swallowed hard and turned back around to face her kitchen and living room. Reaching a hand up, she brushed her cheek off, before trailing across the floor to sit down on her couch – or Sam's old bed, whichever she preferred. Carly let herself fall back into the soft cushions and breathed out heavily. Everything looked so different from this angle. It looked like something Sam would really love.
Covering her mouth to hide the sobs which were quickly erupting from her stomach, Carly let the tears fall freely.
She Knows It's All the Same, Another Time and Place. Repeating History, and She's Getting Sick of It.
She needed milk, bread, eggs and ham, tomatoes, toilet paper, coffee beans, and stick of gum.
Walking through the long, cold isles of her usual grocery shopping place, Carly barely managed to pull out the items she needed, let alone carry her basket. It was raining like hell outside, and she was leaving a trail of water behind her as she went, and her raincoat was dripping and her hair was like glued to her head. Usually she liked the rain, but not as much as it had been raining today. Rain was good once in awhile, but it was just too much for her right now. She scrunched her nose.
Did I forget my wallet? I didn't, did I?
She quickly padded the pocket of her oversized cheap raincoat and sighed in relief when she realized that her wallet was right there. If she had had to go all the way back and get it, she wouldn't have gone back, she would have rather starved.
Grabbing the toilet paper from the shelf, she made her way towards the cashier, as that was the last item she needed for today. There wasn't a long line, so there was only one cash register open, and Carly was in her own thoughts as she got in behind the last person in line.
The woman in front of her, who had a lot of items in her cart, turned to Carly with a sigh. "It's raining today, huh."
"Yeah." Nice one Sherlock, did you need the newspaper to tell you that?
"The rain's good, though not when it's that much. My son's soccer game will probably be cancelled now. The grass is too slippery."
"Yeah." Cool, so let your son play soccer. It's good for him to get some dirt on his perfect pants.
She extended her hand. "I'm Patricia Holden."
Being polite, Carly extended her hand as well, "Carly Shay."
She got a curious smile on her face. "The Carly Shay?"
Carly shrugged her shoulders.
"Carly Shay of Carly Says?"
"That would be me." Carly replied, tripping lightly on her feet from left to right. "You might wanna move towards the cashier, there's room for your groceries on-"
The woman did not notice her vain attempt of participating in the conversation. "Gosh, we love your show, my husband and I, we think it's so great how you tell people off when they do something wrong! I mean, how hard is it to get how to behave? The world would be a much better place if everyone just behaved more- HEY!"
Carly almost jumped in surprise when Patricia Holden yelled out in surprise. Some young guy had slipped in from right and taken her spot in the line because she hadn't moved forward when the line did.
"Why are you cutting right in front of me?" Patricia asked. "It was almost my turn, I've been waiting in line."
The guy gave her an I-don't-believe-you look. "You didn't move, and I don't have time for this."
Patricia's mouth fell open. "But I've been waiting in line forever! Do you see all these people in line?" she gestured towards the rather short line behind Carly and herself. "They've been waiting too. Do you think it's fair that you just slip in there, do you think you're better than them?"
The guy shrugged. "No, I don't. But they probably don't have time to wait for you to finish your conversation either. I'm just moving things along."
"You can't cut in front of me!" Patricia argued, her voice quickly reaching shrill. "You can't!" she turned her head to the other customers. "Are you okay with him cutting in front of you like this?"
No one replied and Carly tried to withdraw herself into the shadows of the the shelf with shampoos.
Patricia now turned to her. "Are you gonna let him get away with this? You're Carly Shay, you're not going to, are you?"
Carly swallowed loudly as Patricia watched her with expectant eyes.
"Well?"
Dropping her basket to the floor, Carly pushed her way through the line and walked out the doors. She couldn't believe the fuss that Patricia had just made over one person in line. That had been embarrassing and completely not necessary. How could she not see how silly she was being? It was one person with what, three items in his basket?, when she herself had a full cart with useless items? She couldn't believe people were so righteous.
She couldn't believe that...
I can't believe that I used to be like that.
And She Doesn't Know How to be Fine When She's Not.
Freddie reached a hand out and gently touched the ends of Carly's hair, which was pulled back into a very tight, very high ponytail. He wondered, "You started wearing your hair up again. Why is that?"
Carly glanced briefly at the microphone and earpieces on the table in front of them. "When it's down, it gets caught in the wires." she flatly replied.
Freddie nodded, seemingly understanding. "You looked better with your hair down, though."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He glanced at their things in front of them, old notes, newspapers, the small platform from which he controlled everything. "Are we ever gonna talk about how things ended with the show?"
Carly gave him a short look. "No."
"Okay."
There was a long pause between the two of them. Though they were supposed to be best, friends, she couldn't talk to him and he couldn't talk to her. She wasn't sure what she was ever going to say, because she knew that whatever he wanted to talk about, she didn't want to mention. Never had the air between them been thicker.
Carly thought of something. "How's it with you and Rebecca?"
"We've been out a few times. It's good."
"Oh."
Another long pause came between them and this time Carly didn't think of something.
Freddie sighed. "You seem sad these days, Carls."
She fidgeted with an old stack of papers on the desk. "I'm OK."
"You know you can talk to me, right?" he quickly questioned, eyeing her from his seat. "Are you aware of the fact that your eyes seem puffy?"
She clenched her jaw and gave him a stern look. "I haven't been crying."
"Didn't say that. Just said your eyes seem puffy."
She rubbed them a long while and spun around in her chair. "Must be the allergies." Good one, Shay, you don't even have allergies. You don't have allergies. You don't have your fun attitude. And you don't have...
"You should wear your hair down though." Freddie observed.
And you don't have Sam. You definitely do not have Sam.
It's Over, It's Busted, I Love You, It's Useless.
Coffee with Judith today was a bit better than coffee with Judith a couple of weeks ago. So far Carly hadn't stormed out on her in anger, which was always progress, right? She was actually enjoying her coffee and just liking that she was having a normal conversation with Judith that did not involve her and Sam and Carly Says – that they were just talking about Judith and her work and when they were going to go out again and tear the dance floor apart.
"Now that you're not working nights anymore, we should totally do dinner." Judith said, a small smile on her face. "I mean, before you get your platform back. You guys were much better than that lame music program they're airing now."
Carly couldn't help the small smile on her face. They had been better. And they'd been different. Which was what made them better in the first place. "We should do dinner." she replied, nodding her head a little. "We can have it at my apartment."
Judith sipped her coffee, "Sounds good."
Carly really was happier today than most other days, but the smile on her face wasn't really all the way up, which Judith seemed to notice as they spoke. Carly could see that she was concerned, because it shone right through her warm brown eyes.
"Look Carly-"
"No." Carly cut her off, and looked her straight in the eye. "Do not ask me how I am."
Judith sighed. "I wasn't going to. I know a lot of people must have asked you that." she held a short pause. "I was going to ask you if you'd talked to Sam since she left?"
Carly didn't need to answer. Apparently the way she shifted in her chair and how her eyes were focused on the plain, boring café table were enough an answer to Judith.
"She broke it off with Sabine." Judith told her, and this caught Carly's attention. At least her heart seemed to beat faster and she looked up. "When she moved in with Melanie again, she told Sabine that it had to be over. And – and Sabine's a good person, she completely understood that there was just something between you two. And I know it was stupid of Sam to get with her when there was something there all along, but... but Carly – don't you think that you ought to talk to Sam?"
Carly traced the end of the table with her finger and pondered about what to say for a few seconds. "I... I don't know." she ended up saying, very honestly. "It's not just the thing with her and Sabine, it's – it's everything, it's the way she talks to people, the way she has to get in a fight with the biggest dude in the club, the way she burps at the table and how she's so completely disgusting... I just don't think we're a good match."
"Well..." Judith trailed off, shrugging her shoulders lightly. "From what I've heard, you weren't even gay when she showed up again. And now you're talking like it could be a possibility if Sam wasn't … Sam." she chuckled lightly. "Which doesn't make sense at all, because the reason you love Sam, those are the things you just mentioned, isn't it?"
It is... it totally is. I love her, but I can't stand her. It's useless. "I guess so."
Judith reached a hand across the table and kindly took Carly's. "See how much a person can change? You guys are the perfect match, you just need to realize that – that everything in life is not perfect and that you need to embrace your gayness and your differences."
Carly bit her lip in thought. "She really broke it off with Sabine?"
A smile came upon the black beauty's face. "She really did."
She really did... I'm just not sure – is it too late?
I've Got All These Questions and None of the Answers – What Happened to Happy and Our Ever After?
"Is there something you wanna say to me, Carly?" Spencer questioned, pushing his too-long hair behind his ears and slurping his hot chocolate.
Carly made a face at him and took a long sip of her white mocha. "Is there something you wanna say to me, Spencer?" she fired right back, and mentally added, Maybe an 'I'm sorry for getting Freddie to cancel the show'? That would be good. Or just – an 'I'm sorry' would do it, really.
Spencer seemed to think about it for a few seconds. "Oh. I do! Actually. I do!" he smiled warmly at her. "The doctor said that Monica could have her baby any day now. I'm gonna be a father soon."
I don't care about your baby. It's not my baby. "That's not it, Spence."
"Oh."
She raised an eyebrow and gave him another look. "That's good about Monica, though. She must be thrilled to be loosing that belly soon, huh."
"Yeah, it's gigantic!" Spencer laughed, slurping his hot chocolate for every last drop in the cup. He placed his cup down then and gave her a sad smile. "You seem to have changed lately, Carls."
She sat up straight with as much poise as possible. "Well, loosing their job will do that to some people."
"I'm not talking about the past two days." Spencer quickly clarified and reached a hand across the table to grasp Carly's before she even had time to think about moving it away. "I'm talking about the last two weeks, Carly." he continued, his voice suddenly more serious than it had been in years, and much more caring. "You've changed."
She snorted. "No I haven't."
He raised an eyebrow. "Since Sam left you. You've changed."
"Two things." she said, holding up two fingers just to get her point across. "First off, Sam did not leave me. I kicked her out. And you're making it sound like we were dating." Which maybe... possibly... wouldn't be... that bad? "And second off, no I haven't. I have not changed."
He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair, his eyes now roaming her face for anything. "You won't admit it to yourself, that's stupid, but everyone else can see it. You like her, that's OK, we don't judge, we want you to be happy. You will be with her. Because you know what, Carls?" he offered her a warm smile, that brotherly smile of his which was only reserved for her. "She makes you happy."
He had whispered the last part and Carly wasn't sure if it was to get a point across of if he was just being Spencer. Her left hand found the end of her ponytail and she played with the worn tips. She didn't know what to say to him, so she decided to not say anything at all.
"She compliments you." Spencer said then, taking her silence as a cue for another speech of his. "You two compliment each other. When you two are together, you become less up-tight, and Sam... Sam becomes more considerate and less disgusting. Which is a very good thing. You're good for each other."
We are, aren't we? We're really... good for each other.
There you go, another chapter done! ;) Thank you so much for the amazing reviews I received for the last chapter, please keep them coming, because as far as I can count in my notes, the story is ending sooner than I thought. One more chapter will do it, folks! I hope that's all good with you? :)
Another note about some of the lyrics in this chapter – two of the titles are from a song called 'It's Useless' – it's by a Danish country group called The Fireflies. They placed fourth in this year's x-factor. I normally don't like or watch these things, because I believe they don't know good music, but The Fireflies really caught my heart after seeing a performance of them on Youtube. After that I was rooting for them all the way, and even though they didn't win, they've already released this single and their CD will be coming later in the year. Just thought I'd give you some background info in case you were wondering about the lyrics.
Download; I don't own any of the lyrics or iCarly.
