Ayame's Monologue and Fiction We Live
(A/N: This chapter is based on the song Autumn's Monologue and Fiction We Live by the band From Autumn to Ashes. I do not own Inuyasha's characters!)
Ayama stared down at her reflection in the water. Her tears streamed down her face. She wipes her tears away and punches her reflection, causing large ripples. Koga promised he would marry her, but he has broken that promise when he met Kagome. That is all he thinks about, all Kagome, but not her. Her heart is ripped into pieces. She hasn't noticed that Koga was close by, but she didn't care. If she doesn't have the love that Koga has for Kagome, she feels broken, alone.
Oh why can't I be what you need? A new improved version of me? But I'm nothing, so good, no I'm nothing. Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs of violence, of love, and of sorrow. I beg for just one more tomorrow, where you hold me down fold me in deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins. I break in two over you. I break in two and each piece of me dies, and only you can give the breath of life. But you don't see me, you don't.
"Leave me alone Koga," she demanded, still looking into her reflection. Koga appeared from behind the tree he was hiding behind, and walked up next to Ayame. He didn't know she was crying. Ayama wrapped her arms around herself as if she's trying to keep herself together. Her breathing came in short pants. Ayama was falling apart. Koga quickly dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her. Ayame struggled to get away from him.
"Keep your hands off of me!" she exclaimed. Koga ignored her. Ayame continued to struggle in his arms, trying to get away. She squirmed and kicked, her feet beating against the water, causing huge splashes. Ayama jabbed her elbow into his stomach, making him lose his grip on her. As soon as he dropped his hands, Ayame jumped up and ran to the closest tree, gasping for air.
"What the hell do you want?" she asked. Koga brushed the dirt off him and stood up.
"I was trying to comfort you, but apparently you don't want it!" he snapped back. Ayama smirked sarcastically.
"Why don't you comfort the girl you love most! Kagome!" she yelled, more tears streaming down her face. Ayame balled her hands into fists, trying to control her emotions. Koga kept quiet and just looked at Ayame. Angry, betrayed, loss of love were the emotions that crossed her face.
"You promised we were to be married. Why Kagome?" she asked. Koga looked away from Ayame. He couldn't see another girl have her heart broken, not like this. He knew Ayama loved him but...
"I love Kagome. She cares about me enough to leave me be, not only because she wants to go by a promise I made her years ago," he whispered. Ayama stayed quiet, shocked. The only noise she could hear was the pounding of her heart in her ears. She couldn't breathe, Koga was truly going to break his promise.
Here I'm pinned between darkness and light, bleached and blinded by these nights. Where I'm tossing and tortured 'till dawn. By you, visions of you then you're gone. The shock bleeds the red from my face, when I hear someone's taken my place. How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel? When all, all that I did was for you. I break in two over you. I break in two and each piece of me dies, and only you can give the breath of life. You don't see me, you don't.
Ayame slowly slid down against the tree until she got to her knees. Koga quickly rushed up to her and held her hands. Ayama wasn't looking at him, but looking beyond him. When she glanced at him, she saw his lips moving, but couldn't hear a word he was saying. She repeated what he said over and over in her head.
"You never loved me..." she said quietly. Koga stopped talking. Ayama didn't make any sudden movements, letting Koga hold onto her hands. Koga shook his head and reached up to cup her face in his hands, making Ayame look into Koga's eyes.
"Ayama, can you hear me? That's not true Ayame. I do love you. I do care about you," he said. Ayame wasn't listening.
"I was never yours, and you broke your only promise you made me. Broke it to be with Kagome," she said as she stood up," I want you to make another promise Koga. Pretend as if I don't exist. Don't talk to me, or try to come near my tribe in the mountains. I don't want to ever hear from you, ever."
Just like that, Ayama was gone in the blink of an eye. This time Koga was in shock. He wanted to move, but seemed like he was stuck, paralyzed. Tears formed in his eyes. He looked down at his hands, and balled them to fists. That was the last time he was ever going to hear or see from Ayama. The look in her eyes were going to haunt him forever. The look of betrayel and a broken heart, numb from the pain.
You might be just what I need. No I would not change a thing. Been dreaming of this so long, but we only exist in this song. The thing is I'm not worth the sorrow, and if you come and meet me tomorrow, I will hold you down, fold you in deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live. I break in two over you. I break in two and if a piece of you dies, Autumn I will bring you back to life. Of course I see you, I do.
