A/N: This loosely follows canonical Victorious, set in the future. Cat doesn't speak in non-sequiturs and Trina is a decent human being, more or less. This story contains OCs, flashback(s), and special guest appearances.

For your reading convenience: Singular slash (/) signifies character/POV change between Jade and Tori. Singular period (.) signifies scene change within POV segment.

Inspired by Katie Herzig's song and the story's name sake, "Closest I Get."

Half of part seven of seven.

A/N II: There is an accompanying Epilogue to this story that will be released in a few days. It's an optional read and you can consider the end of this part as the end of the story. I know there's a lot of time covered in this last section. I debated about extending the story, but I believed that it ultimately wouldn't make a difference if I elaborated aspects of the story just to fit the time frame. It would be, however, understandable if you believed otherwise (thus it may feel rushed to you).

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.


What if the closest I get to the moment is now?

;;

Early February

Her music is blaring from the speakers, the loudest it can possibly be. She's been playing it at a high volume for several hours now, but no one has come around to complain, no one banging at her door to turn the music down because there are people trying to go about their days without such a disruption. She wishes they would, though. Just so she can yank the door open and see Tori again.

Ever since she came home with her bruised pride and her tail between her legs the other night, all she wished was for Tori to have moved out then and there. While Jade struggled to catch a wink of sleep that night, Tori would have disappeared leaving Jade completely alone. That way, Jade would just know that she's already gone and not still leaving. Instead, she struggles through the next two days wondering if there's nothing across the hall from her anymore. She struggles through it now knowing that Tori's moving out today.

She doesn't take her eyes away from the u-haul parked down below with Tori's things. She thinks it's a kind of penance, a deserved punishment for the stupid and cowardly decisions she's made.

/

"My shoulders weren't built for this, you know."

Tori glares at her. "It's the first box you carried."

"Yeah, but I'm tired now."

"Look, at least these are just boxes and not furniture."

"Yeah, thank god for that. Besides, you tricked me; you advertised this move as 'easy, quick, and painless'. I signed up because it sounded like what my Friday nights used to be like."

"Ugh, that's gross."

"No, what's gross is you said you had 'like six boxes' not 'like sixty'," she says mimicking her voice and throwing up air quotations.

Tori glares at her sister again before pointing at the door. Trina rolls her eyes and lugs the box but not before muttering under her breath. "You better be glad Gorge's coming or you're gonna be doing this on your own."

"I heard that," she says when her sister reaches the threshold.

"Yeah, good because I meant it."

As she inspects her surroundings for anything she may have forgotten, she's reminded of the faint thumping of music from across the hall. It's not a secret anymore that she's leaving, but a tiny part of her hopes that Jade knows she's leaving today just to rub it in her face.

Her leaving is a reminder of having hurt the both of them.

"What's up?" Trina reaches the floor landing, slightly out of breath. She looks away from the red door across the hall and hands the box in her hands to her sister.

"Nothing. Nothing."

.

When the last of her things have been cleared that afternoon, she meets the building superintendent for one last procedural inspection. After he finishes the inspection, she hands her apartment keys to him.

"Sorry to be losing your business, Miss Vega."

"Um," she starts, switching her sight between him and the door. "Shouldn't you let her know her music is too loud?"

"We could," he says with a shrug. "But we're not really too strict about things here. Nobody's complained about it yet. Unless you're filing an official complaint right now?"

"N-no," she stutters. "I'm not."

He shrugs before making his way to the stairwell. She takes one last look at her door and the one across from it before jogging to catch up to him.

/

She keeps her eyes on the truck until she can no longer see it on the road.

There's no better way to see someone leave you than packing their things and driving away.

/

The next morning, Tori fights to get up, feeling too tired to unpack her things. But after going through two boxes just for her coffee maker and four more boxes to find a mug, she decides that the kitchen is a good a place as any to start.

When she opens one of the cupboards, she's surprised to find something already in there. With a laugh, she takes her phone and snaps a picture of her housewarming present to send to Heather.

Sneaky how you got that juicer in here :)

It's not until after she's gotten most of her silverware in the drawer that her phone buzzes.

Better than a dead rat, right? Good luck unpacking!

Her present and vote of confidence picks her mood up considerably that she doesn't mind unpacking the rest of her belongings.

/

Her first instinct is to blame everyone else. But she's tired. So she retreats from the world and buries herself in her work. If she stays away from people then no one can possibly get hurt.

.

It takes her by complete surprise when one of her students tugs at her shirt.

"Yes, Josie," she says flipping her binder closed after their session has ended.

"Miss Jade, are you okay?"

Her face scrunches, looks around to see if anybody else is seeing this exchange. "I'm sorry, what?"

"It's just," the younger girl starts. "It's just that you kinda look like my mom when Daddy left."

"What?" she asks, sitting back down on her seat and getting to Josie's eye level.

"Did you and your boyfriend fight?"

She quirks a brow. She thinks she must really enjoy her job to some capacity because she's even entertaining this conversation. "No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"A girlfriend? My Aunt Heather has girlfriends."

She smiles at her student and places a gentle hand on her shoulder. "No, not one of those either."

Josie, after a moment of deliberation, shrugs and starts packing up her things. "Okay. Please don't tell my mom I said that thing about her."

"I won't."

"Okay. I have to go now. See you next week, Miss Jade! Feel better!"

"Uh, thanks."

She buries her head in her hands when she knows Josie is gone and wonders when she can stop hurting.

.

Late February

Heya, Jade! I know you've been busy and stuff, but we have another live show at Bartenders next weekend. Beck and Robbie aren't gonna be there because they're checking out a potential new client from Vegas. So it'll be just us. Hope you can make it! I'll call you again later! Okay, bye!

.

Jade plops the bags of groceries on the floor before fetching her keys from her purse. She pauses when she hears a commotion from the stairwell but resumes reaching for her keys when the commotion results in a blonde woman coming into view.

"Good evening, neighbor!" the woman greets her excitedly. Jade turns and offers a tight smile and a nod. When they both open their doors, she hears the woman's voice yell out to her. "Have a good one!"

She already doesn't like this new woman.

Just as the woman walks in her own door, Jade hears a voice call out for a 'Theresa'. When Heather reaches the hallway, Jade just stares.

"Jade!" Heather gasps in surprise.

"You gonna be dating my all of my neighbors or what?" she says even though she knows they're not really on friendly terms. To her surprise, Heather laughs.

"Stop having gay neighbors and maybe I will," she quips. "Take care of yourself."

Just as Jade shuts her door, she wonders if she heard right. She doesn't dare go back.

.

A sense of déjà vu overtakes her when she gets to the entrance of the bar. She watches her friends talk animatedly to one another for a while before walking over. She thinks that she can handle herself better than last time, but she's not sure. She's careful with each step and tries not to look around, afraid that if she lets her eyes survey the room, she'll find her.

When she arrives at the table with her friends, she exhales the breath she's been holding.

.

"She's not coming," Cat tells her after they hug. She nods, appreciates the kind gesture.

Andre finishes his set and walks back to their table, clapping her on the shoulder.

"You missed out on a great weekend last month," he says by way of greeting.

"I'm sure I'll manage." The smirk on her face causes the smile on his to widen.

"So how you holdin' up with everything?"

"What? I'm holding up fine." Jade turns to Cat for clarification; her best friend offers an apologetic smile.

"He knows."

"Cat-"

"Hey, hey," Andre starts. "It's not Lil' Red's fault. I saw Tori last month-"

She tenses and puts herself on the defensive. "And what? You two are best friends again?"

He pulls his hand back and raises them in surrender. "Whoa, no need to get hostile, alright?"

She sighs and runs a hand through her hair, looking down on her coaster. "Sorry. I've just been tired. It's for the best that she left and moved out to God knows where. She could be in Wyoming or something."

She looks up when she hears Andre mutter under his breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothin'," he offers lamely. She glares at him and he tries not squirm under her gaze. "What I meant, was that I, uh, she's not in Wyoming."

She turns her attention on Cat who's glaring at Andre. She alternates looking at the two of her friends until it dawns.

"She's still in the city, isn't she?"

"W-we're not supposed to tell you," Cat says sheepishly.

"But yes."

"Andre!"

"What? I didn't tell her where. I just answered her question."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." She balls a portion of her napkin and flings it across the table falling off the edge. "She doesn't want to see me. I'm not gonna go after her."

.

Mid-March

It's another night when sleep won't come. She knows she has to work early the next day, but the struggle to keep her eyes open forces her to get out of bed instead.

After she pours herself a glass of water, she plops down on her couch and surveys her surroundings. Eventually, her eyes land on the stack of papers she'd been carrying around with her for most of last year. She flips through it quickly, doesn't bother to read through the words. She stops on a page with a crease in the middle. It'd been the one that Tori gave back to her.

She retrieves her bag from the side of the couch and pulls out a notebook and a pen. She may as well be productive if she can't will herself to rest.

.

Jade plunges further into her work. It's all she has anymore. The time and the distance seem to be helping her. But if she's being honest with herself, it's doing nothing more than numbing the pain.

.

On the one day she decides to take a break from her monotonous routine between her apartment and her job, she gets ambushed with a party invite. At Joan's insistence, she's been invited for a St. Patrick's Day party.

"I don't own anything green," she says, pretending to ignore her waitress and friend as she flips another page from her stack.

"It doesn't matter! Your eyes are green. You automatically win."

"Joan, I don't think this is a very good idea."

"Oh come on. It'll be totally fun! Just do it. Besides you totally bailed on New Year's."

"Look, there were things that I needed to deal with then."

"It's going to be super fun, Jade. Jade, it's going to be totally fun."

She shakes her head. "You already said that."

"So is that a yes? I think I heard a yes. Okay great, I have to go back to work but I'll see you there and if I don't, someone might spit in your burger."

"Joan-"

"Have a great night come again!" Before Jade can reply, Joan's already walked away from her leaving her with her receipt and no other choice but to go.

.

At the party, she sits on the couch and nurses her bottle of beer. She tries not to jump in surprise when a body lands on the empty spot beside her.

"Don't tell me you're still pining over that girl." She's horrified to find the same woman she tried and failed to pick up at New Year's sitting right beside her.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's a party. Why else would I be here?"

Jade readjusts herself so she's facing the other woman. "Look, about New Year's, I didn't mean to lead you on like that. I was in a dark place and-"

"Hey, we've all been there. Besides, you made for a really great story for the woman I did sleep with on New Year's. Are you still in that dark place?"

She shakes her head, not sure how to answer. "Life is hard."

"Damn right it is," she says offering to clink her bottle with hers.

"Let's start over," Jade offers.

"Eve."

"Jade."

"What do you do?"

"Voice teacher for children. You?"

"Actress. Theater."

They spend the next twenty minutes having a friendly conversation about their occupations. It's a nice break that Jade openly welcomes. Eventually, Eve leaves to get another round for the two of them. But before Jade can readjust herself on the couch, someone's already occupied the spot where Eve was just moments before.

"This seat taken? No? Okay, good."

Jade stares at Heather, unsure if Heather knows who she's sitting with.

"Is there a problem?" she asks.

"Nope, nothing out of the ordinary. Just run-of-the-mill girl problems."

"Okay. Is Tori with you?" she asks, quickly scanning the room. She doesn't want to care, but the possibility of a confrontation is not appealing.

"St. Patrick's Day party at the club." Jade nods, relieved that she doesn't have to confront Tori tonight. "God! Can you believe women?! They're all assholes. I don't know why I like them so much! How are men?" she asks finally turning to Jade.

"They're fine," Jade says. "But they're assholes, too." Observing the bottle that's being waved around in front of her, she grasps it in her hands and pulls it away. Heather doesn't seem to notice, let's go of the bottle with ease. "Heather, how many drinks have you had?"

The younger woman shrugs before dropping her head back on the back of the couch.

"I don't know, twelveteen? I'm a bartender. I'm licensed to drink this much."

Jade shakes her head. "That's not what that means. Come on, let's go put something in your system to sober you up. Stay there."

Heather doesn't seem to object, just stares into space and mutters about how stupid women are. Jade, meanwhile, locates Eve and explains her situation. After a quick number exchange, Jade and Heather are out of the door and walking towards Jade's car.

.

They find themselves at an IHOP a couple of minutes from Joan's apartment.

"How'd you know IHOP's my favorite?"

"Experience," she replies before beckoning for the waitress. Once they've given their orders, Jade silently watches the woman in front of her. Heather sits just as quietly, but her eyes are darting all over the place, drunkenly taking in her surroundings.

It's not until they're both halfway through their meals, both Belgian waffles, that Heather speaks to her.

"This doesn't make us friends."

She shrugs, she expects that. "I know."

"I still hate you for Tori."

"I know."

"But you look like shit, so I mean, you can't be doing all too good yourself."

She lets herself laugh. "I know."

.

By the time they've finished their meals, Heather has mostly sobered up. They don't talk much during that time, which Jade thinks is good enough for now, considering how recent things fell apart between all of them. She pushes the thought away, trying not ruin a decent moment.

Heather finally looks at Jade. "Why don't you just tell her how you feel? Why did you waste so much time and hurt so many people?"

"I don't know."

"Why are you so afraid? Isn't that all this is? You're scared."

Jade refuses to tear up and blinks away any chances of tears escaping. "Before I sabotaged everything, being around her was fun and easy. It was simple, I knew that I was going to be happy when she was around, at whatever capacity. Being around her was being around someone who accepts you for everything that you are. And it's just like, do you even find people like that anymore?" She shakes her head before taking a sip of water.

"Those are all good things, Jade."

"I don't deserve someone like that in my life."

"Why not?"

"Because I ruin everything I touch. Look at where we are, I just…I'm so afraid that I can't live my life without her. The truth is that I need her more than she'll ever need me. I thought how I felt for her would disappear over time. But when I first saw her after all these years, I wanted to go back to how we were in high school. And for someone like me, it was just too much."

She covers her face and pushes at her eyes, to stop the tears from coming, to regain the self-control she lost just then. Voicing aloud her fears for the first time only deepens the pain in her chest knowing that she's ruined a perfectly good thing by being herself.

.

"So that Theresa girl."

"So that Theresa girl what?"

Jade raises an eyebrow, leans back on her seat. "Wanna tell my why you think she's an asshole?"

Heather sighs and scratches the back of her head. "She's not really an asshole. We were just hanging out. She kissed me first but she ran in blind panic out of her own apartment."

"Sounds familiar."

"Now she won't talk to me even though she's the one who made the first move."

"Yep, that sounds about right."

"And now I don't know if I should just keep trying or to let it go."

"Is it straight girl panic or just girl panic?"

Heather grins before shaking her head and downing the rest of her water. Jade mirrors the smile.

.

Just before she leaves Heather's apartment parking lot, the younger woman sticks her head back in the car, leaning on the door.

"You don't deserve her."

She clenches her jaw. "Yeah, thanks. I know."

"But she's the kind of person that people like us need in our lives…to make us better people."

"Look, I don't need the Oprah lecture."

"It's not an Oprah lecture. Just, I don't know, give her some time. Someone like her who still has strong feelings for someone like you obviously means she sees something in you that other people might not." As Heather backs away from the car, Jade calls her back.

"Hey, Heather."

"Yeah."

"If her panic is anything like mine, then maybe you should just give her some time."

She offers Heather a tight-lipped smile before putting the car in gear and driving away. Heather's words sounds too much like hope and she doesn't want to fill herself with that.

/

She's doing her best to rebuild herself. Reuniting with her high school best friends couldn't have come at a better time in her life. Throwing herself at her work and rekindling old friendships are the only things she makes time for. She turns down any offers for a blind date or a set-up.

She needs to focus on herself.

The apartment she chose didn't feel like home when she moved in. But she's making it work, day by day. She has to. She's not doing this anymore. She just hopes that no one from her past lives around her, they only bring the trouble from the past with them and she's had enough.

.

Late April

"Tor, there's an important piece of information that you need to know about me."

Distractedly, Tori plays along as she types up an e-mail. "Okay, go for it. Tell me."

"I'm getting married! Gorge proposed!"

Shock consumes her and it takes her sister calling for her to respond.

"Wow, marriage. That's, um, exciting."

"You don't sound as incredibly happy as when I phoned Mom and Dad."

"I-I am," she stutters. "I just…but so soon? How long have you two been together anyway?"

"Six months! Which is totally enough time because some random scientists were saying that after four months, you'll know if you're in love with someone!"

She wants to be happy for her sister, but she just doesn't think that it's a good idea. What if her sister gets hurt? She doesn't want that.

"Shouldn't you wait a while? I mean, how much do you know about him?"

"I know enough, Tor. My pupils dilate whenever I look at him and every article on tell-tale signs of being in love talks about that. Besides, that's what the rest of our lives together is for, to learn about each other."

"Okay," she offers finally, realizing that her sister isn't going to change her mind.

"Tor, this is a great and happy time for all of us, but especially me. Now if you don't think this is a great idea, fine, but if you're going to be my maid of honor, you're going to damn well act like you think this is all fabulous."

"No, I'm really happy for you, Trina. I am."

"Now say it once more with feeling."

She laughs despite herself and lets her sister talk to her for an hour detailing his proposal and the upcoming wedding plans.

.

"I can't believe your sister wants to play Justin Bieber's 'Baby' as their first dance song."

"Really?" Tori asks, looks pointedly at her friend from across her desk. "That's what you can't believe?"

"What? I would have thought she'd pick a different song."

"You're missing the point."

"Oh, maybe he should get his Demi Lovato fix at the wedding too?"

"Heather!"

"What? That your sister is getting married so soon?"

"Yes!"

Heather scoffs while flipping through a random magazine and Tori resists the urge to throw her stapler. "What's the rule about marriages?" Tori quirks a brow and waits for her friend to keep talking. "There isn't one! Except for the no cheating thing."

"Whatever, I just think that she should give it more time."

"Look," Heather begins. "Some people take six months to realize they're meant to be together, some people take nine years. Just as long as you're together, then isn't that what matters?"

Tori can't tell by Heather's appearance if she's hinting at something. She forces herself to consider the numbers were chosen arbitrarily. She scrunches her face is disgust. "I don't like it when you get all 'hopeless romantic' on me."

"If you accept it, your life will be much better," Heather offers with a smirk. Tori doesn't throw the stapler but she does chuck the roll of tape across the room just barely missing Heather in the face.

/

Early May

After Jade teaches her last session of the day, she starts to pack things up. She doesn't notice Josie standing patiently beside her, one hand clutching her backpack strap and the other holding on to a piece of paper.

"Yes, Josie?" she asks, leaning down so she can be at eye level.

"Aunt Heather wanted me to give you this." Jade looks up behind the little girl and sees Heather offer a small wave. She tentatively accepts the extended piece of paper. When she straightens herself up, her young student is already walking towards her aunt. She waits until the two of them are gone before she opens the note up.

Use this wisely. Because I'll know if you don't. You can't redeem yourself if you're not given the chance to try. So consider this my peace offering. But if she asks, you found this on the Internet.

Below the small message is an address.

Jade doesn't bother suppressing a smile.

.

She drops the note on her desk at home. She stares at it, reads the address until she thinks she's memorized it completely. Her first instinct is to rush over there and repeat their last conversation. But with how the way things went, she doesn't think she can handle that kind of confrontation anymore. She accepts that she is the sole reason why things are the way that they are.

She slumps in her seat leaning on the arms, her chin on her hand her eyes fixed on the note. She doesn't know how long she's been staring at it, but it takes her a second to realize that her phone is ringing.

"Yeah," she greets, sitting back up and rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Jade, it's Eve."

"Hey, Eve. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner tomorrow night."

"Uh yeah, sure."

"Oh and don't forget to bring your play."

"My play?"

"Yeah. I mentioned it to Justus and he says he's intrigued."

Jade sits up from her seat, her eyes roaming the desk for what she's looking for. By the time she hangs up, she finds the stack in her bag underneath the folders of music sheets. She drops it on her desk beside the note before plopping back down on her chair.

A small smile appears on her face.

/

Early June

Tori takes a break from the party and retreats in the kitchen idly dipping chips in the jar of salsa.

"You all right, Tor?" Trina's quickly by her side and dipping her own chip in the jar before Tori can even process that she's in the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't realize that there was a lot that needs to be done in a wedding. Just a little overwhelmed."

"You don't have to if you really don't want to. The wedding's not until next year."

Tori shakes her head, places a soft hand on Trina's arm. "No way. I wouldn't miss this for the world. Plus, I don't have any other sisters to be a maid of honor for, so."

"Yeah, that you know of."

"What?"

"Mom and Dad were total freaks back in the day."

"Ew, Trina, gross." Her sister pats her on the shoulder before taking another bite out of her chip.

"Is that really all there is to this? Does my moving to North Carolina with Gorge make a difference at all?"

Tori shakes her head, but she knows she's not fooling her sister. She didn't plan for a time in her life when her older sister isn't going to be around.

"You know I'm still going to be there for you. That's not going to change, I'm always around. Sometimes even when you don't want me to be." Tori's laughing, but she's fighting the tears in her eyes. She's had a hellacious year and the one person that's stood by her through it all is her sister. She doesn't know if she can go without being able to turn to her sister the next time she gets in another complicated relationship with some other human being.

Trina pulls her into a hug, even with chips still in her hand, and rubs her back. When she pulls apart from Trina, she dabs a napkin at her eyes, tries not smudge her makeup.

"It's not going to be the same, though. I'd have to get on a plane to come visit you instead of just get in my car."

"Then make sure you visit the East Coast. Get your job to get you over there."

"Yeah, because North Carolina is a complete club hot spot."

"Hey, they don't call Durham the Dirty D for nothin'," Trina offers. Tori lets her sister brush her hair behind her ear. It makes her feel a lot younger than she is now, reminding her that her absolute best friend in the world is going to leave her soon.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I know, sis. But you've got a good life here."

"Yeah, okay."

"What? You have a great place to live, a great job, fantastic friends. And I know it's only been months since…you know…but you're doing really well. I would know because I was a hot mess when I was your age."

She sighs before putting the chip down on a napkin. "I still miss her."

"Well, it's only been four months, right?"

She shakes her head, laughs at the foolishness of it all. "It's been nine years."

Trina takes another bite out of her chip before speaking. "Maybe if she ever figures out how to ask for forgiveness, you'll consider it."

/

Mid-June

Jade watches as local actors and actresses stand in a circle holding on to a script that she's been working on and off for the last decade. It's both familiar and surreal because this isn't high school anymore, but it's been a long time since she's done anything that's made her this happy.

"I can't believe this is happening," she whispers beside her.

"Well, believe it. And I think it's going to be amazing." Eve lightly nudges her by her elbow. "It's a great script, Jade. Really."

"Thanks."

After Justus speaks, the attention is now on her and she channels in the old Jade, the one in her element by a stage.

"Hey, everyone, thanks for being here. Let's get started."

.

Cat's in town to visit so Jade uses the opportunity to share her good news.

"That's incredible, Jade! Congratulations!" Cat lunges forward for a hug.

"Thanks. It's nice to do what you love doing again. The venue is small but the people are great, so I can't really ask for more."

"Hey, you never know. I'm really happy for you, Jade. You deserve it."

/

"Guess who just got offered the manager of PR spot," she says casually as she takes a seat on the barstool.

"Laura," Heather replies without missing a beat, not even bothering to look up from her place behind the bar. Tori scoffs and throws a balled napkin towards her friend.

"No, you jerk. Me!" Tori accepts the high five even though moments earlier Heather was just laughing at her.

"Of course it's you. Why else would I make celebratory drinks?" Heather hands her the glass and they clink them in celebration.

"Now all I have to do is just work here for a couple more years and the bar is mine!"

Heather offers her another high five.

"Hey, you never know. I'm really happy for you, Tori. You deserve it."

.

"Work sounds like it's going well?"

"Yeah, Trina. I just recently got promoted."

"Congratulations, Tor. With this promotion it means that you can afford airline tickets to come visit me, right?"

"Yeah, right. With this promotion I have more to do and less time to do anything else. How is it over there?"

"It's not that bad. I have to get a translator for everyone, though."

"What? Why?"

"Gorge's English isn't always the best and Southern accents are sometimes really hard to understand. So no one understands each other."

Tori stays on the phone with her sister for another hour just catching each other up.

For the first time in a while, life is starting to feel normal.

/

Mid-July

Hey, Pipsqueak. I don't know if Andre told you yet, but the play opens on the 15th of next month. So mark your calendar. I'll see you soon and talk to you more about it when you're available. All right, gotta go.

/

Hey, Tor. Gorge and I got the house! Ack! I'm so excited. The house warming party is not until Saturday on the 16th but I expect you to get to the house by the 15th. I'll call you with the details when you actually pick up. Okay, take care of yourself, have safe sex, and we'll talk to you soon. Love you, bye!

.

Tori's just finished straining the pasta when she hears a knock at the door. She's quick to turn the stove off before rushing to the door and pulling it open.

"Tori Vega?"

"Yes…" Tori's staring at a chestnut haired woman with green eyes holding onto an envelope. A shiver runs down her spine, feeling the familiarity of it all, but she tries not to let it show; she keeps her attention focused on the stranger before her.

"My name's Hannah. I'm your next door neighbor," she says pointing at the door down the hallway. "Anyway, the mailman got this mixed up." Tori accepts the envelope with her name on it without a return address.

"Thanks," she says, trying to figure out what the content of the envelope could be. "Um," she starts trying to lessen the increasing amount of awkwardness between them. "Did you want to come in? I know that's a little forward, but I just drained the pasta and-"

Hannah shakes her head with a laugh. "That's kind of you to offer, but I doubt my husband will appreciate if I just randomly disappeared before dinner."

Tori attempts to mask her embarrassment with her own laughter. "Right, sorry. I just thought I'd offer."

"Not a problem. Have a good day."

Before Tori can extend another apology, her neighbor is already halfway to her own apartment. She lets out a frustrated sigh before closing the door. When she reaches the kitchen, she pulls out one of the knives and cuts the envelope open.

She's surprised to find a playbill. Her eyes quickly scan the front and she almost drops the pamphlet on the ground when she reads a certain name on the front cover.

She flips through the book and finds a smaller envelope tucked in-between the pages. When she opens it, she discovers a pair of two tickets for opening night. She searches through the envelope and the bill to see if there was a note anywhere, but there wasn't. When she tears the envelope open, she finds nothing else.

.

"It's a play," Heather states as she flips through the pages of the small book.

"Yeah, Heather, I know it's a play."

"Are you gonna go?"

Tori sighs. "I don't know. It's the same weekend as Trina's housewarming party. "

Heather plops down beside her and offers the pamphlet back. "Is this the same play that she carried around with her all the time?"

"Yeah. She'd been working on it since we were in high school. Heather, what should I do?"

"Well, think of it this way. Your sister will have that house for a while. But this play lasts all of a week."

Tori rests her head on her hand. "So do you think I should go?"

"All I'm saying is one will be there when you get back and the other won't."

Tori tosses the bill on her coffee table. "What I don't understand is how she got my address." When she looks at her friend beside her, Heather only shrugs.

"Beats me," she says as she turns the television on, seemingly unaware of Tori's suspicious gaze on her.

Tori keeps her focus on her friend before giving up and turning to watch the television.

.

She thinks it's silly and irrational. But she can't shake the nagging feeling that the tickets are following her. When she thinks she's placed them back in an envelope and placed with the rest of the coupons in the mail, they find their way back to her kitchen counter where she sees them in plain sight. When she thinks she's kept it in her bag and zipped that compartment shut, she's surprised to find them stuck between pages of a book beside her wallet.

She's not sure if this is a sign from the Universe, but she wants the Universe to stop interfering with her life.

.

Late July

When she finds the tickets and the playbill tucked in the stack of mail on the kitchen counter, she thinks she's had enough.

After three solid knocks, she steps back.

"Hello?" A blond man opens the door, a curious expression on his face.

"Hi, um, my name is Tori Vega and I live next door," she offers pointing at the other end of the hallway.

"Okay?"

"Um, I met your wife a couple of weeks ago when my mail happened to get mixed up with yours."

"Okay."

"Honey, who's at the do-oh, Tori!" Hannah appears behind her husband with a small smile on her face. "Taylor, this is Tori. Tori, this is my husband, Taylor."

"Hey, nice to meet you. I was just telling your husband about the mail mix up."

"Well, what can we do for you?"

"I have two tickets for opening night at the local theater, but I can't make it because my sister's having a housewarming party across the country and I've already booked a plane ticket." She extends the playbill and the envelope of tickets to her neighbors.

"Thanks. How did you find out about the play?"

"Um, I know someone in the crew."

"Well thank you, Tori. That's really kind of you."

"You're welcome. I hope you enjoy the play," she says. As she's walking away, she turns around. "I, um, I hear the person who wrote the play is incredible."

/

Mid-August

She's excited to find her friends – including Beck – gathered around her living room. She hasn't felt the buzz of excitement since the announcement of her friends' record label.

"I can't believe that tomorrow is opening night," Cat exclaims from her seat on the couch.

"Yeah. Thanks. And I appreciate everyone being here." She smiles up at Beck who subtly raises his glass.

"To Jade and her play!" Andre offers, raising his beer bottle.

"To Jade and her play!"

.

With everyone mingling with one another, Jade takes a moment of reprieve for herself, stepping out of her apartment and into the hallway, staring out of the window. She pulls the window up and appreciates the cool breeze coming in. As she lets her hands play with the moisture from her bottle, she thinks about the one person she wishes she could share this moment with.

"Getting your fresh air, are you?" Her head snaps to turn to the voice and sighs in relief when she sees Beck by her door.

"Yeah, something like that."

She doesn't move from her spot when Beck walks over and takes the free space beside her by the window. "You nervous?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you look pretty calm for nervous."

She offers him an amused smile and appreciates the foreign yet comfortable silence between them.

"You think she'll come tomorrow?" She looks at him curiously before taking a drink from her bottle.

"I don't think it's appropriate to talk to your ex-fiancé about an ex-girlfriend."

"Hey now. We were best friends once upon a time."

She runs her hand through her hair, realizes he's right. "I don't know. I sent her tickets last month."

"Well I think she'll show up."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, sure." She can't help but roll her eyes. For a moment, she pretends that they're back on good terms with each other again. It feels nice, it feels like some kind of restoration of order.

"Let's go back inside." Beck takes a step back and waves his arm in front of them, offering her to lead the way. With a small, grateful smile, she walks forward, opens her door to her apartment and immerses herself back to her party.

.

She doesn't sleep a wink that night. She knows she should, but the excitement of the play gets to her. She wonders if this is a sign from the Universe or something. How, if she just stops sabotaging her life, then things will find a way to come together.

She still feels the sting of their last conversation. She wonders if she'll ever get the chance to do it over.

/

"I'll see you on Monday when you get back?"

"Yep."

Heather shakes her head, but offers Tori her bag anyway from the passenger seat. "Okay, well travel safely."

"What is it?" she asks when Heather doesn't say anything else.

"What?"

Tori pointedly looks at her. "Just say what you need to say, Heather."

Her friend just shrugs, her hands in her back pockets. "I don't have anything to say…except for the play starts at 4."

"And my flight's at 3:45. What's your point?"

"That's it, you asked me and I told you."

"I thought you were on my side."

"Yeah, Tori. This is me being on your side."

"Just drop it." Tori rolls her eyes; she doesn't appreciate this childish behavior. "Stop making that face."

"I'm not."

"I don't need all this silent judgment from you."

"Who's to say it's all silent."

Tori glares at Heather who can't help but keep the smirk on her face. "I'll call you when I get there."

"All right."

She shakes her head, offers Heather a short hug before walking into the airport. She refuses to think about what other things are happening today.

.

She struggles to sit still, flipping through her book and generally feeling uncomfortable in her spot. She hates how a week's worth of convincing herself that visiting her sister is the right decision comes completely undone with a single conversation.

She hasn't made a mistake. This is the right decision.

She doesn't believe herself at all.

.

"For the passengers of flight 1435, there has been a delay. Flight 1435 will depart at 6:45 PM due to weather issues in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. We're sorry for the inconvenience and appreciate your cooperation and patience."

She sits back in her chair and readjusts herself, watching the rest of the passengers around her groan about the delay. She buries her head in her hands and groans in frustration. An elderly lady with silver hair and thick glasses beside her taps her on the shoulder. "It'll be okay, dear. Sometimes these things happen. You just have to make do with what you got."

Slowly, she nods before she rises from her spot and packs her stuff. "You're right. Thanks."

.

"I need to reschedule this flight for next week. I don't care how you do it, just do it."

.

Trina, listen. Something's come up and I can't make it this weekend. I changed my ticket for next week. I'll explain it later. I'm really sorry for springing this up on you. I know that you wanted me to be there, but there's something I need to take care of tonight. I gotta go, I'll talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.

/

The whole front row is full but she doesn't see her anywhere. She realizes that Tori must have given the tickets away. She takes some solace that Tori didn't throw the tickets out. But it doesn't make a difference knowing that Tori's not coming.

She pretends that it doesn't hurt; she pretends that she expected it.

.

She hears the applause and she prays she doesn't trip while she's walking. After the theater falls silent again, she offers them a grateful smile. One of her dreams is coming true and they're all there to witness it.

"My name is Jade West and I wrote this play. I just want to thank Justus Mann and Eve Archibald for giving me the opportunity to tell this story. And I want to thank all of you for coming to watch it. My friends, colleagues, and students who have made the last few months bearable and possible. I just want to dedicate this piece to the first person to ever support it. The script has been in my possession since I was seventeen. She was the one who thought this deserved the chance to be watched. And now, nine years later, it's a reality. Thank you."

.

She's a nervous wreck the whole time during the play, pushing the curtains from the side to spy on her audience. They're reacting as she imagined them and she can't thank enough of her lucky stars for this miracle.

Justus, a thin and balding man with black-rimmed glasses bearing a strong resemblance to Stanley Tucci, places a hand on her shoulder.

"I think they're enjoying themselves."

Jade doesn't bother hiding her smile, her heart swelling in pride.

"Yeah, I think so too."

"Who knew a story about a couple of scared individuals would compel this many people?"

She turns to look at him behind her before placing her attention back to the play. "Yeah. Who knew."

/

She's one of the first people to stand up when the curtains are drawn and the cast files out. She stays rooted in her spot even when the rest of the audience around her is moving towards the exit. Her eyes sweep across the front of the stage where small groups of people have gathered. She shouldn't have been as surprised to find Jade as quickly as she did, singling her out from the group closest to the stage.

With intently watching Jade from a distance, she doesn't notice someone sidle up to her. "Oh my god! You scared me half to death!" she exclaims, clutching at her chest.

Andre's laughter rings in her ears and she has half a mind to swat him with her purse. "I'm sorry, but that was priceless."

She shakes her head, but her eyes gravitate back to Jade in the front of the theater.

"That was some play," he says, looking in the same direction she is, his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah."

"You should go talk to her."

"No! I mean, it's probably a good idea that I stay back here."

"Okay. There's gonna be an after-party for the cast and crew and friends later. You're more than welcome to go."

She pulls her attention back to her friend. "No, that's all right. Thanks, though."

"I gotta go, Tori. I'll see you later?" he asks just as he checks his phone for a text.

"Definitely." She offers him a smile and he returns it with a warm hug. She watches him walk out to the exit, a sad smile on her face.

When she turns around, she almost screams in surprise, her hand once again on her chest.

"Jade!"

"Tori."

/

She clears her throat, tries to memorize the image of the woman before her, just in case this is all a giant cosmic joke on her.

"I thought I saw Andre walk out," she says just as she takes a final step not three feet away from Tori.

"Yeah, he did."

She can feel the awkwardness seep in the space between them. She stuffs her hands in her pockets and resists rocking back. It's been about six months since they last spoke to each other and Jade thinks that Tori has never looked more beautiful.

Tori clears her throat. "That was a great show. Really."

"Thanks."

"You changed the ending."

Jade shrugs, tries to play it cool, but she's certain that she can't hide the giddiness in her eyes. "Yeah, well. Happy endings are apparently a thing that people are into."

Tori chuckles. "Who knew, right?"

She nods and moments pass before she finds her voice. "How, uh, how have you been?"

"Good. Busy, but good."

She wonders if all this nodding will result in some neck muscle being pulled. She hates that they're so awkward with each other, but appreciates that it's not just her struggling through it. "Thanks for coming. I didn't think you'd show."

"I wasn't going to, originally. Trina and her fiancé moved to North Carolina and I was supposed to visit them this weekend."

"So what are you doing here?"

"I realized I couldn't miss this."

She looks away and back to the lit stage and she wonders when the other shoe will drop. It's only a matter of time before her good fortune wilts. When she shifts her attention back to Tori, she sees Tori with a wide smile.

"I'm really proud of you." She can't erase the grateful smile on her face. She doesn't really want to. "It's good to see you, Jade."

Tori nods before walking away from her seat and onto the aisle. Jade remains in her spot. "Yeah, it's good to see you, too."

"I should probably go." There's no word of goodbye, just Tori turning around and walking away. She's not sure she can bear that image in head anymore. Tori's only covered a couple of yards when Jade decides to catch up to her.

"Wait!" she says just as she reaches for Tori's wrist. "Are you hungry?"

She can feel Tori's hesitation, but she doesn't pull away her grasp. She resists tightening her grip on Tori's wrist; she just doesn't want her to go. She tries not to think anything of it when she catches Tori biting her lip. "I could eat."

She grins but she harnesses it back, tries to pull a neutral face. Jade jerks her head to the side. "Come on. I know a place."

.

Joan smiles at the two of them, offering them hugs. "Well, well. Guess who eventually comes out of the woodwork? Are we ordering the usuals?"

Tori looks at Jade before looking back up at Joan. "If you still remember them."

"Hey Jade, how was the play? I couldn't take off tonight, but tomorrow night is a definite."

She hasn't gotten a chance to situate herself when she hears Tori speak.

"It was great. Definitely worth watching."

Joan offers her a thumbs up before finishing to write out their orders. "Good for you, Miss Writer."

"Thanks, Joan."

When Joan leaves, it's just the two of them once more. She appreciated Joan's presence; she was a good buffer. But now they're back to just being Jade and just being Tori.

"Great play again."

"Thanks."

"What made you decide to get it finished?"

"You."

"Oh, come on."

"Hey, if you don't believe me, you don't believe me. But it's true."

Tori brushes her hair back, adjusts herself in her seat. "But why?"

Jade wonders how to respond .And she ends up with telling the truth because anything else feels like an insult. "It was the only thing I could fix."

When Tori doesn't respond, only fiddles with her silverware, she takes the opportunity. "You know, I wish we could just start over without all of this baggage and history. So things would be easy, for once," she says before taking a sip of her water.

"Yeah, but isn't complicated more of your style?"

"It's not really a good look."

"Jade."

"Hear me out. And I suggest you listen because I have enough courage to only do this once. I know I've been the biggest coward and idiot. You deserve more than someone like me…"

"Jade-"

She cuts her off because she's running on some limited bout of courage and doesn't want to lose it when she still has the chance. "But the truth is that I need you. I can't walk away from this and pretend that things are going to be okay. I need you and that has been the most paralyzing thought. It's realizing that you make me a better person."

Tori doesn't say anything not even when Joan comes back with their food. It's not until Jade knows that Joan is out of earshot that she continues.

"When you're ready, love me until you don't. Love me until you can't anymore." She realizes she can't quite look Tori in the eyes. "And if that time ever comes, we'll figure it out then. But just think about it even if you don't have a reason to do so."

The surge of confidence that Jade experienced just moments earlier seem to have dissipated, leaving not a trace of it in her system. Tori sits eerily silent across the table, leaning back as if getting as far away as she possibly can.

"Are you done?" They're not the words she expects to come out of Tori's mouth and she attempts to hide the heartbreak from her voice.

"Yeah, I'm done," she says with a slight crack to her voice.

"I never stopped feeling the way that I do about you." It sounds conditional and she wishes she'd prepared for disappointment, too.

"But…"

"But," Tori starts, "right now I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship."

"Okay." She bites down, clenches her jaw; she wills herself to think of the play just so she doesn't cry. She's not sure if she can stay for dinner, not when her last chance just got turned down.

"But I am looking for something more casual." Tori's smiling across from her. For the first time, it's easy again and she doesn't want to let any of it go.

"Is that so?" she asks crossing her arms and offering her best smirk.

"Yeah. Casual."

Jade's face brightens, doesn't even bother to hide it when her smirk transforms into a smile.

"I can do casual."

Jade can't help the laughter that bubbles over and before she knows it, Tori's laughing along with her. She can't believe how excited she is to hear that laugh, to see Tori smiling in front of her again.

She's not much for the overdramatic – not anymore – but she can't help but wonder if this feeling is a lot like redemption.

When they've settled down, laughter still in their eyes, she watches as Tori leans forward with her hands clasped together and a grin on her face.

"Are you doing anything for dinner next Tuesday?"

She leans forward and clasps her own hands together.

"Nope. I'm all yours."


A/N: Like I said before, the Epilogue will be available within the next few days. Similarly, I will make a tumblr post that will be copied to my profile page about how to acquire the fanmix and the PDF. Final notes to come with Part 7B.

As always, thank you for spending time with me and this story. Let me know about things you liked, things you didn't, things you wished I could have done instead, etc.