AN: I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Now, on to more important matters. What does Edward want to ask Bella?
Last time:
"Oh, yeah, I just remembered. I had something I wanted to ask you," he said softly and a tad bit nervously. What could it be?
"Well, this weekend Emmett's throwing a party because of his and Rose's year anniversary. He's inviting a bunch of people and said that I could invite a few people if I wanted to and I was just wondering if you wanted to go," he said, eyes never leaving the carpet.
"That sounds fun. When is it?"
"Tomorrow at 7. I'll have someone come pick you up. I'm glad you're going Bella." His eyes once more returned to mine and a smile lit up his face. I felt myself smiling as a gut reaction.
After our brief exchange, Emmett arrived and Edward left. I was left alone in the living room, mulling over my thoughts. I thought back to when we were rehearsing. When he was holding me it felt good, it felt perfect, but mostly it seemed right. It was like we were supposed to fit together like that and that moment showed me how it was supposed to be. It was probably a silly notion, but I couldn't shake it.
There was a sudden knock on the door and I remember that I had ordered pizza for Charlie and I. I opened the door, paid the delivery boy and called Charlie. He seemed relived that there was food now and probably that I wasn't upset with him for walking in while we were rehearsing.
So far, Charlie hadn't spoken a word since I called him to eat. I waited for him to see something, but he still was mute. I decided that it was probably best to proceed and tell him that he didn't have to be embarrassed of mad or whatever.
"Dad?"
"Yeah, Bells?" he asked, looking up from the napkin he seemed profoundly interested in. I studied his face for a moment; surprise and confusion were the only things I could detect.
"Well, earlier-" I began, but was quickly cut off.
"I'm sorry that I, er, interrupted you and Edward. I honestly thought that you would be alone. I'm so sorry for that," he added with a blush. i honestly didn't blame him, I hadn't really shown much interest in any boys up until now and I never really had anyone over except Alice, but that wasn't too often.
"Dad, it's fine, really. Edward and I are taking Acting class at school and we were just rehearsing for the performance we have to make next week. Nothing was happening, don't worry." Not that I didn't want anything to happen, but that would just have to remain my own thought.
"Oh, well, that's good I guess. How is school going for you anyway, we haven't had much time to talk," he said looking much more relieved than earlier on.
I told him basically everything but left out the first script and a few things that only were for me to know for the time being. We exchanged a few more words, but after a few minutes it began to die out. I washed the dishes and decided to continue up to my room to relax and just think for a little while. My plans were interrupted by a phone call though.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Bella? Hi, it's Alice. What's up?" she asked, her usually excitable self. I looked around and saw that Charlie had gone upstairs and was currently showering, so I thought it was safe to talk freely with Alice.
"Well, Mrs. Richards gave Edward and I a new skit," I replied.
"Oh, that's good I guess," she trailed off.
"Alice, you don't sound like you think it's good, now what do you really think?"
"Well, I thought that it would be cute for you two to do that skit that's all. . ."
"What do you mean you think it would be cute for us to do it?" Why did she have to choose now to be cryptic?
"Well, I know you like Edward and it would have be cute of you two to kiss and all that I guess."
"Yeah, I like Edward, but I can tell that he doesn't like me. When he saw what we had to do in the first one, he looked like he was going to be sick. Even with the new one he was really hesitant. I mean I was the one that had to initiate everything, he would just follow along. I don't want him to have to do anything I know he would regret." I could just imagine Alice with her mouth wide open on the other end, but I continued to wait for some response.
"Bella!" she screamed. "Don't even think like that! You don't know if he would have regretted it, he could have just been scared, that's all."
"Alice, trust me, I would have been able to tell if it was fear. What I saw was pure disgust, nothing else. Don't worry about it Alice, what's done is done, there's nothing we can do about it. Edward and I have a new skit to do, we can't go back and do the other one."
Alice sighed. "Bella, just think about what I said, you never know. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye," she ended with a click.
I knew that I had upset Alice, she seemed so depressed after I was saying Edward didn't feel the same about me. She spoke like she had little hope for me in something, what, I don't know, but it was something. I decided to ignore it for now and head up to my room for some thinking time.
By the time I reached the upstairs hallway, Charlie had cleared out of the bathroom and was in his bedroom I presumed. Taking a shower seemed like an appealing option right about now, so I grabbed what I needed and headed into the bathroom and locked the door.
I turned on the water and found the perfect temperature, discarded my clothes, and stepped into the delightful stream of water. I found my strawberry scented shampoo and began to wash my hair.
As I ran my fingers through my hair, I began to think of what Alice had said. Was I sure that it was regret on his face? Could it have been fear, but I had already decided his reaction before I saw it? I tried to make myself think rationally about all of this, like I was an observing it instead of living it.
I imagined what happened as if I had been watching it. I closed my eyes and pictured the scene.
I had just stepped out of the bathroom and Edward didn't notice me yet; he was just looking at the script. He turned to the last page, read, and his jaw dropped and his eyes were wide. Once he noticed me, he ran from the room to consult Emmett on some matter.
I returned from my memory and picked apart every detail. When he dropped his jaw, it could have meant that he was disgusted, surprised or confused. The wide eyes seemed to me that they were out of fear or surprise. Could those reactions just be his was of showing he was nervous about something and not utterly disgusted?
No. He was disgusted, it was that simple. Edward was a million times more amazing than I was and he was just revolted by the idea of being that close to me and further disgusted of actually having to kiss me. I sighed and shut off the water.
Alice had just been telling me that it wasn't disgust so I wouldn't be depressed and make him hate me more then he already does. It was a nice gesture, but I would have rather told me the truth and not just a few lies so I would feel better. I would have been able to take it, after all, I had been telling myself the truth all along.
But, maybe. . . No, I shouldn't get my hopes up by entertaining the thought that Edward had any feelings for me. He was simply being nice to me because he felt bad for me. I knew that if I got my hopes up in any form, I would be devastating when they came crashing down upon me.
I finished dressing myself, picked up after myself and returned to my room. I climbed underneath my quilt and began thinking of Edward once more. I drifted into slumber with thoughts of Edward floating through my mind.
Well, hope you liked it. :) Tell me what you think. Review! Thanks. I'm sorry if I can't update for a few days because finals are coming up. I'll try to get a couple of chapters out this week, but I can't guarantee anything. As soon as school's out though, I'll update quite a bit.
Katth
