Disclaimer: Don't own Charmed, or Linkin Park for that matter
Next chapter. Crawling. Listen to the song. It's great. Please review.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
It was simple. Nothing was wrong with my heart, I just overworked myself. Or, that's what they thought. So, forced to take a couple weeks off from work, I was debating whether to call Leo or not. On one hand, I did want to see him again, but on the other, it might open up old wounds and put me back in the same position as the last time. The debate was making me crawl in my skin.
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
This was so confusing! The real deal, I wanted Leo back and I still loved him, maybe even more than ever. The "fake" deal, I wanted nothing to do with him and him to stay out of my life forever. Somewhat, the "fake" deal was true. I didn't want to fall into his clutches and make him have so much power over me. Woah, who am I trying to fool? I was mixing things up! I want him. All of him.
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
There was something inside me that was stopping, pulling, me away from the phone. I wanted to call Leo. But did I? No, I just couldn't let myself. It was confusing, and hard, and it hurt.
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem
I can't control myself, and it's never ending. I knew I was overworking myself. I didn't stop it. I knew that I was married. I didn't stop him. I knew what was going to happen. I didn't stop it. It scared me. Something else was controlling my inner being. And I can't figure out how to stop it.
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
I have to find the old me, the one that was nice, and sweet, and caring, and shy. The one that was pretty, and beautiful, and wonderful. The one that could control herself. Because something is suffocating me. I didn't hurt myself because of overworking. I hurt myself...I didn't hurt myself. Whatever is holding me, is stopping me from being healthy.
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I used to walk with confidence. No pressure at all. Now it's the opposite. I have too much pressure and it's too much to take in. Or, so I'm convinced.
I've felt this way before
So insecure
I've felt this way once before...
I continued walking, wanting to go back and help her, but my legs wouldn't stop. I looked back, walking faster. I saw her screaming for help in my direction. I didn't want to keep walking. I hadn't wanted to hurt her. But something inside me was controlling my every move, and I couldn't stop it.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Please stop, I begged myself. But I kept walking. I heard her screaming, but it kept getting fainter and fainter. She was dying. She was in trouble, and I couldn't stop. There was only one thing to do. I tryed turning, but I ended up falling over. This was my chance. I started running. Running toward the distant screams. They were getting farther and farther away. Or were they getting quieter?
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
I was scared. What if she died? How could I live with myself? I reached her. Blood was spilling out of her leg. She was unconcious. I picked her up, hugging her, and started sprinting for the hospital. If she died, it would be on my hands, and I couldn't live with it. I had won. I had fought the demon inside of me. Myself. And I had come out on top.
Discomfort,endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
I don't know how I did that, but it had worked, and now I needed to do it again. I moved over to the couch. I reached for the phone...SMACK! I got up. What was happening. Had I done that? No, it couldn't have been me. I lifted my hand and felt the place where the thing had hit. I walked over to the mirror. There was no mark. I had imagined it. I'm going crazy. I walked back over to the phone and grabbed it. I dialled the number.
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
"Hello?" That wasn't...
"Dan. My gosh this is embarressing," I said, blushing.
"Piper. Hi. Listen I-"
"It's ok. I, actually-"
"I know... I d-"
"I do. Dan, I'm married." Finally, they stopped the mindless banter, the conversation where they finished each others sentences.
"I was hoping you weren't going to say that," Dan said, disappointed.
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
I couldn't breath.
"I have to go. I'm sorry," I said. I hung up without another word. I felt like things were closing in around me. Wow, I never knew I was clausterphobic... (A.N: Is this how you spell it?)
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I picked up the phone once more, the pressure rising and rising. I felt like I was going to explode.
"Hello?"
I've felt this way before
So insecure
"Leo?" I asked. I heard a sigh.
"Piper. I wasn't expecting you to-"
"Call? I know. Will you come and bring me to P3? I need to talk to you about something..."
"I don't know. I-"
"Please Leo. Please," I pleaded.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
"Fine. 9:00. Bye," he said bluntly. Was he brushing me off? I hope not. I was in love with him. Please don't open up these old wounds. I can't handle it.
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
-7 hours later-
"Ok, which one? Black dress or red shirt with white pants?" I asked. Phoebe scrunched up her face.
"Red shirt, white pants, definitely," she decided. I threw the other outfit onto the bed and slipped into the clothes. Phoebe smiled.
"Perfect," she said, hugging me. I smiled and hugged her back. "All right, you're ready!" Ding dong!
"Piper, Leo's here!" Paige yelled from downstairs.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
I felt butterflies in my stomach, fluttering up and down and around. I made my descent down the stairs, complete in an off-the-shoulder red shirt, white hip-huggin white sweats, red shiny ballet flats, and crimped hair down. I saw Leo smile, but his mind was elsewhere. Where? Don't hurt me again.
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
"Ready to go?" I asked. He nodded, giving me a red rose. "Hold on." I ran into the kitchen, cut the stem off, and stuck the flower into a bowl of water. I ran back into the front hall.
"Let's go." I took his hand, and lead me to his car.
Is it good? It took forever. The girl you'll find out if she died. You'll also find out who she is. Please review, and I'll try to update ASAP. I am so sorry I took so long on this one. I hope you all had some happy holidays and a happy new year!
COPhoebeP3
