Dammit, Phil, I'm a Healer, not an Avenger!

Notes: A plot bunny I had. I didn't want to risk having it develop into a full storyline xD

Somehow, I got this idea for a DA/Avengers crossover, and this is what happened. I would love to take this and make a whole story out of it, but let's face it, I've got too much on my plate anyway. Also, I seem to have forgotten that Kya is an elf. The Avengers - though they've seen their fair share of weirdness - would probably make some mention of that.

I'm convinced that Kya would be buddies with Captain America (Cap? Rogers? What do people actually call him?). She'd also be besties with Loki. I thought about writing a scene where they meet, but ultimately chose not to. Should I do a Part Two where they meet?

One last thing - I've received an absolutely wonderful prompt from gamer072196 that I'm already working on. Of course, I couldn't just write one scene, I've got three. So I'll be posting it in three parts over the next few days!

Reviews/prompts/suggestions loved and welcomed!


Kya Surana wiped her brow, smiling though she was absolutely exhausted.

Easy.

The Archdemon was dead, she and Zevran weren't. It was almost too easy. Of course, she knew everyone else would disagree; few people seemed to understand that it was over. They were done running for their lives, and a celebration was definitely a good idea.

As predicted, most of the soldiers—her own companions included—just stared around at the carnage with mostly blank expressions on their faces. Kya didn't want to follow suit; not because she wasn't bothered by the deaths, but because she was. All these people had died because she'd asked them too, and that was a little frightening.

So instead, she waltzed up to Alistair, clapped the Templar on the shoulder, and announced, "This will be a three cake event."

From behind her, Zevran chuckled. "Three?"

Kya nodded, leaving her shocked friend in favor of her assassin. "Three cakes. No less."


Zevran's surprise the night before the party, Alistair's sincere attempts to make Kya sound heroic, and Irving's praise of Kya's healing skills weren't enough to stem her anger.

There was only one cake.

Three. She wanted three cakes!

Eamon had repeatedly demanded that Kya drop the issue and mingle with the crowd, but she refused to let the arl get away so easily. He would pay.

In cakes.

So while the rest of her companions chattered away, Kya remained near the solitary cake, warding off hungry onlookers and Sten with the occasional glare. She did, after a while, allow Sten to have a few pieces; after all, he was just as enraptured with the sweet dessert as she was.

Kya was just about to give in to Alistair's request that she venture into the city when she noticed a rather peculiar man standing opposite her. She gladly took the excuse to avoid her "adoring crowd" as the man approached her. "Evening," she greeted him.

He held a hand out for her to shake. "My name is Agent Coulson. I represent a group called—"

"Don't bother." Kya held up a hand to stop the man. "I've done work for a few different 'groups' and it never ends well, and the pay is terrible."

"I'm afraid you don't understand," he continued, folding his hands in front of him. "I'm going to need to debrief you on the situation involving the Archdemon. You see, Miss Surana, we've been watching you. SHIELD has had eyes in Thedas for years."

Crossing her arms, Kya raised an eyebrow and let out a huff of air. "Lots of people have been watching me." With a roll of her eyes, she began to walk away to find Zevran.

"Miss Surana," the man called.

But Kya ignored him, instead locking arms with Zevran. "I'm going to need you to kill an annoying man for me," she pouted.


How an assassination attempt ended with her agreeing to join Coulson, Kya still wasn't sure.

But that didn't matter, because Kya was currently sitting in an odd little chair with a curved back, made out of some foreign material that absolutely perplexed her. The room was dull, but Coulson promised that it would soon be filled with what he called Earth's mightiest heroes. He'd chuckled when he'd said it.

The first person to join Kya after Coulson had left was a man with short blond hair, clothed in all black. He was followed by a woman with unnaturally red hair, dressed similarly. The pair sat at the far end of the table, each giving Kya a brief nod before sitting.

The mage shifted in her seat, fidgeting with the edge of her robe sleeve. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable, but rather that the two opposite her were too comfortable. This place was strange, foreign, and Kya didn't know a single thing about it.

She wasn't even certain how she'd gotten there. It had been something called a tesseract, according to Coulson.

Kya sighed, ignoring the sidelong glance that came from the woman. It looked as if she were about to say something, but her words were cut off by another man entering through the same door Kya had come through. He was dressed in a tight, thin suit that was an abominable shade of bright blue, with a white star smack in the middle of his chest. He gave Kya a small nod as he sat down, and she did her best not to stare.

Zevran would be jealous. He's not the jealous type, but he'd be jealous.

"Cap," the woman greeted the man, giving him a nod of her own.

"Steve Rogers," he introduced himself to Kya, extending a hand to shake.

I like him. Kya could tell right away that he wasn't as comfortable as the other two, who still hadn't introduced themselves.

"Oh, come on, Captain America," a man's voice boomed from behind them. Kya turned to see a man walking towards them, a lopsided grin on his face. He was wearing dark pants and a grey shirt, and had scruffy black hair. "Steve," he scoffed as he sauntered around the room. "Where's the fun in that?"

Steve – or Cap, or Captain America, Kya wasn't sure anymore – shot a hard look towards the other man, but said nothing other than a curt, "Stark."

Finally, Coulson entered the room. Kya didn't know when it had become a relief to see him, but she was relieved nonetheless. "She's safe, I promise," he was saying, glancing over his shoulder before turning to address the assembled group. He was being followed by another man, with blonde hair that fell to his shoulders and wearing something that looked a bit like armor. "Now that we're all here—" Coulson began.

"Where's the good doctor?" Stark asked lightly, crossing his arms. "It's not a party till he shows up."

"He's upstairs, working," the red-haired woman informed him sharply. "Away from distractions."

"Now that we're all here," Coulson continued, unfazed, "I'd like to introduce you to our newest member. This is Miss Surana, a healer from Ferelden." He gestured towards Kya.

With all eyes on her, Kya grew suddenly impatient. She pursed her lips, glaring at each of them in turn. "Member of what?" she asked, turning to Coulson.

"You're not in the Avengers Initiative," Stark mumbled, staring straight at her.

Coulson sighed. "That's classified. And a member of a team we've organized to battle one of the greatest threats Earth has ever faced."

"Oh, Maker," Kya grumbled. "It's another Blight, isn't it? Look, just because Alistair's the king now doesn't mean he can't help. I'm not facing another sodding Archdemon without him. Or Zevran. Or something to drink, for that matter."

Five pairs of questioning eyes stared back at her. Only Coulson seemed to follow her. "No," he assured her. "There's no Blight."

"Well then," Kya clapped her hands together. "Looks like you don't need me. I'd like to go do my Grey Warden business now, if you don't mind."

"Miss Surana," Coulson said apologetically, "I'm afraid that's not possible."


"Kya!"

Cutting off her healing spell midway, Kya dove out of the way as debris crashed to the ground where she'd been standing only moments ago. "Where's Stark?" she called to Rogers, her voice hoarse.

He ducked behind a ruined car, pulling Kya with him to avoid another one of the creatures falling from the skies. Even though she'd been on Earth for a few weeks now, Kya still couldn't comprehend everything that was going on. She almost would've preferred a Blight.

Almost.

"I don't know." Rogers squinted up at the hole in the sky, where the creatures were falling from. There was a reason behind it all, but Kya couldn't wrap her mind around it; instead, she thought of it as magic.

"Can't you talk to the others?" she demanded, irritated. Checking to make sure that no creatures were going to ambush them, she set to work with a healing spell, mending several injuries that she was certain would kill a normal human.

"Earpiece is out," he explained. At Kya's blank response, he sighed and amended, "No. I can't talk to the others."

Suddenly, Rogers shot up, ending Kya's spell prematurely. "What is it?"

"Is that a—"

Kya followed his gaze, to where Stark was flying across the horizon, carrying something on his back. "He's heading towards the hole."

Rogers' gaze hardened. "A bomb. He's going to blow it up. That's how he's going to close the portal."

"How will he get back?"

As Stark disappeared into the hole, Rogers whispered, "He won't."

Kya froze. "The final sacrifice."

And this time, there was no Morrigan to save him.