Chapter 7

Pain.

My eyes fluttered open the bare room. The bare room I knew too well. Flashbacks of last night hit me like a brick and soon hot tears stung my cheeks. I was so stupid… so aggravating. No one wants to know my problems. No one cares.

I touched my lips with the tip of my finger. The kiss from Will… our best kiss yet. That's number three. I smiled at the thought of kissing Will three times. Three!

I got interrupted from my thoughts as someone opened the door to my room carefully. When I realized it was just Adam, I slumped in my bed. Don't get me wrong, Adam is awesome to hang out with. He is cool, nice, funny, and a ton of other things. I was just expecting it to be someone else…

"Hello." he said quietly, setting the tray he was holding in his hands in my lap. It was breakfast. Pancakes with whip cream, blueberries, and some yogurt. On que, my stomach ached for it. I stuffed it in my face, ignoring the wide grin Adam gave next to me. I actually never thought hospital food would be this good. To be honest I was just expecting the yogurt this morning.

"Hwee.." I muffled with food still in my mouth. He laughed and I blushed. After swallowing my last bite, I used the napkin to wipe off anything on my face. Adam chuckled again. "What?" I asked, setting the tray down on my bedside table. "You missed a spot." he smiled and moved closer to me, wiping away access whip cream off my bottom lip. I swear I saw him blush, but I must've been imaging it. I just laughed and said a thanks to him.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked, standing up from sitting down on the bed. My eyes widened. "I can actually get up?" I almost screamed. He blinked and gave me a confused face. "Adam, you said do you want to go for a walk! I can actually get up from this hell hole?" he nodded. I shrieked and jumped out of bed, already forgetting to make it. I stumbled and almost fell. Adam gripped his huge hands on my tiny waist to help me from falling.

Once outside of the room, we strolled down the main hallway and down a floor. It felt so good to walk, but it also hurt my sore legs. They weren't used to walking after being asleep for, like, an eternity. I didn't mind though.

Me and Adam talked the whole way, not making any stare matter. He told me that I technically wasn't allowed to leave my room yet, but I told him not to worry. I've been stuck in there for what felt like years and I don't plan on going back.

"When can I leave?" I jumped on the last step we took to the second floor. My room was on the third, so I can see the view of the city. It was very relaxing staring out the window every night and watching the lights turn on.

"I honestly don't know, that's up to your doctor. But im sure its going to take a while, considering all those bruises and cuts on your body matter." I froze. Those aren't the bruises from the crash, their from my abusive father, I wanted to say, but of course I didn't. No one knows about that, I have to keep it that way. And when I mean I have to keep it that way, I mean I lied to the doctors about those cuts. I lied to experienced doctors about my life. I shivered.

"How do you even know about those bruises, Adam?" I demanded, kinda pissed off now. I don't know why I was getting mad. I wasn't mad at Adam, I was mad at my father. And i'm sure you know why…

"I… I have my ways." he said, almost trying to act confident. Adam was a big guy, but he can get very sensitive at times. Not gonna lie, he is a big softie. Not that i'm judging him, I honestly think it's kinda cute.

Wait, what.

I shook off my thoughts. I can't think that way towards Adam. He is just a friend… just a friend…

I have Will. He has been there for me all this time. I mean, he just kissed me yesterday.

But doesn't that mean he should be here?

Where is he?

My stomach did a flip.

Was that even Will?

"Nico?"

"Hm?" I croaked, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy. Then who did it? Who kissed me.

I glanced at Adam, he gave me a confused look. I stared at him, tracing his body with my eyes, when I moved to his lips, I stopped. Where those lips on mine?

I freezed.

Fuck.

He is going to kill me. What if he finds out? Will he find out? What would happen if he does? Is he going to kill me? Worse. He will hate me.

This can't happen.

It just can't.

"Nico? Are you okay? Your shaking!" he put his hands on my bony shoulders, but I flinched and he shook them off. "I-I… I have to go Adam." I bolted down the hallway, not looking back to see if he was following me.

I ran to the front desk and asked if I can see the number they wrote down for Nico Di Angelo. Of course Will would put his number down if they needed to call me, right?

Sure enough, Will's name was sprawled next to numbers on a sheet of paper. I stared at the numbers and asked if I could make a call. The women at the front desk gave me a pale look, but she nodded. Before I can dash to the phone, Adam's voice yelled behind me. "Nico!" he said, waving his hands to get my attention. I ignored him and punched in the numbers, my fingers trembling. Warm hands gently approached and soon Adam was facing me. I flinched.

"Nico, is everything alright?" he asked in a worried tone, getting glances from other patients as they trotted along. I couldn't even look at him in the eyes. I stared at the wall behind me, until he motioned me to look up at him. I did.

"It was you…?" I whispered. "What?"

"It was all you!" I shoved him out of my arms. "You kissed me!" the concerned look in his eyes turned to worry. "I-"

"Stop!" I wailed. He took a step towards me, and I took one back. "Why Adam?"

Feared crossed his face as he took another step towards me, as if trying to explain but the words just won't come out. "You… you were so scared. And-and, I was there. You needed someone Nico." he finished, using his hands to explain with him.

"I didn't need you." I spat. But right after I said it, I regretted it. Adam looked hurt, but he nodded. "I… I understand." he scratched the back of his neck, looking now at the ground. "Wait… Im sorry Adam. I didn't mean it like that…" I trailed off. My thoughts are too confusing to read. I am too confusing to read.

He left, and I just stood there, a phone in my hand and no explanation for making him stay. I didn't run after him. I should have, now thinking of it, but it's too late.

I just lost Adam.

(line break)

I packed up the rest of my things, and took a look in the mirror one last time. I was finally in my own clothes, not some stupid dress thingy. It felt good.

I didn't call Will like I was supposed to a couple days ago. I decided to just find him at his house or something. To surprise him. Although I need to head home first, I can't leave my father all alone after all this time. Even if that means taking in the pain he has in store for me. I need to keep thinking that he still needs me, and that he still cares.

I haven't talked to Adam in days. He doesn't go to my room anymore, he assigned another nurse to look after me over the days. She was mean, and she never talked to me. Something Adam never did. I miss him, though I hate to admit it. I still just don't get why he did it. What happened that night that he wasn't telling me?

Well, I guess it's too late to ask…

I took one last glance at the towering hospital, and took a taxi back home.

Home.

When he pulled up to my street, I told him to stop here, gave him a wad of cash, and he sped off. I walked the rest of the way back to my house.

This was always the tricking part, making it in the door. I wonder what he is going to do to me when I tell him i'm back. I'm not as scared though, almost all the bruises and cuts are gone and healed, and i'm only thanking one person for that…

I cracked open the door, ignoring the worry that it was unlocked, and made my way into the house slowly. Nothing changed. Well, almost nothing.

Beer cans scattered the floor, and the smell was disgusting. Remembering I actually lived in this horrid place I call home just terrified me…

Then there he was. Walking in the doorway with a glass of beer in one hand and his belt in the other, I immediately felt like a child all over again. I clutched on my backpack strap, and took two enormous steps back. He took two enormous steps forward. We were now face to face, his glare on my face and mine on the floor. "You bitch." he spat. "Left me here to rot. " he lifted his belt and struck my bare arm, pain shooting everywhere up and down it. "You left your poor daddy to serve for himself!" He broke the beer glass on my head, and, surprisingly not unconscious yet, I struggled to my feet. "Now- punch-you-slap-know-kick-what-squeeze-it-hands-feels-throat-like!"

Pain.

Solid, ruthless, deafening pain.

Familiar pain.

I tried so badly not to fight back. It's not worth it. I told myself not to. Don't make things worse for yourself, Nico.

I told myself to suck it up and live with it.

Live with it Nico.

Every slap, every punch, every kick, was all the same on this body. I have felt every type of pain, and i'm not proud of it. I have dealt with loss, abuse, bullying, love…

Love.

Wasn't this supposed to be love?

I might be the only one who thinks so.

Because this is the only thing that's closest to feeling love for me.

I forgot I was even there, at the hospital. What's the point in going when it only happens twice? Or three times? Four? Five?

An eternity of pain?

Whats…

What's the point in living if all you feel is pain?

Im sorry this chapter is pretty short. I wanted to end it this way and make things more exciting in the next chapter. Kinda like just taking things slow for now.

One other thing I wanted to add is that I will be doing swim practice up until pretty much the end of the summer, so if chapters are late, i'm really sorry for it. Swim is every single day, but I will try to keep up with it and getting the gist of how things will be going, even if it means working my ass off at 1 in the morning just to get a chapter up every week.

I'm willing to do anything and everything to keep this series up.

I love you guys so much and please send me a comment. It won't hurt to and it means the world to me hearing about what you think of this chapter !

Oohh, and team Adam or team Will?!

I'm thinking Will ;)