"Well, it's nice to still see you two together! I was afraid that Hisao's mom was going to separate you two."
Emi's mom broke the silence when we went back to her car. She's really sweet, and it's no surprise that Emi's her daughter. Although I do wish I could have seen where her stubbornness comes from. True to Emi's word, we are going shopping, and I'm going to be used as a pack mule, as I suspected. I wouldn't expect anything less from Emi and her mother.
"Yeah, well, it's not like she can control my life anymore. I didn't think anything like that would happen."
"His mom was more upset with him than me though."
Where the hell did you get that conclusion out of what happened? Honestly, I'm still trying to comprehend just what the hell happened back there. Emotions just flew out of control, and I'm not sure where I stand. Am I happy? Am I upset? I'm not sure anymore, about anything for that matter.
Let's see what happened. Meiko suggested that we talk to my parents. We went to my house, and I found the surprise that my mom was still home, which made it so that we confronted her as soon as possible, rather than waiting for both her and my father to come home. Mother confessed that she missed me and that she didn't want to send me to Yamaku. I couldn't take it and had enough of her talking nonsense. Emi decided to finish what I started. I listened into the conversation. Emi said something to my mom that she's wanted to say for a while. Flashforward to now, and I'm thinking about what happened. Sounds about right.
One thing out of all of that stuck with me though.
"Can't you see what you're doing? You're making this whole situation worse, for yourself and everyone you love."
Emi said that to my mom, but for some reason I can't push down the fact that I feel like it should have been said towards myself instead. With what happened, I felt like I shouldn't have made those two confront each other. No one would have got hurt, or at least I think.
"Hisao, Emi told you where we are going today, didn't she?"
"She didn't really mention anything, no."
I guess had my mom not been there we wouldn't have been able to do whatever it is… Man, it really is a good thing that she was there. After what happened, I can only fear to imagine what would have happen if both my father and mother were there, and Emi and I would have had to stay the night due to it being too late.
"Emi's got a friend at the museum she wants to go see, and I figured that she might as well go with you."
Huh, the museum, filled with science and arts. Seems like it would be better than just lying around at Emi's house at least. It also means they can't spend the rest of the day shopping. It's a win-win situation for me.
"Huh? Who?"
"Oh don't worry Hisao. You know her!"
Honestly, the only one I could think of would be Rin. Honestly, I wouldn't classify her and Emi as friends, if they aren't on the rooftop she's never with her. Even when Emi and I weren't dating, she wouldn't go visit her after school ended, only me. I still got to thank Rin for leaving the roof that day though.
"For some reason, only Rin crosses my mind."
"Hisao, you and your observations. Yes, it's Rin."
"What's the occasion then?"
"The art teacher finally talked her into going into art as a profession. She's supposed to be spending the summer making paintings for her exhibit opening that he got her into. I don't really know the whole story, but it seems like he really thinks she can do it. It's weird, she was pretty adamant about not doing it though. I wonder what changed her mind."
After visits to various stores, Meiko finally stops us and tells us it's probably about time to go see Rin.
It'll be nice to see someone else I recognize, to be honest. While this summer's been great, with its ups and downs obviously, I'm really looking forward to getting back to school and finishing up my last year. Mutou has helped me look for colleges. Man, Mutou's been a huge help to me. Not only looking for colleges that I can attend, but Emi can too. Of course, I haven't exactly told her that, but when we start school again, I'll have to tell her. It'd be for the best if it wasn't just me who went to college, and Emi could easily get into a college that has a decent track team. It'll just be tricky to bring up the subject with her, I know how much she hates thinking about the future, although lately she's been less hesitant about that. Not sure if it's because of me or not, but I'm not going to say it's because of me, that'd only make me sound conceited. Progress, one step at a time, I'm sure; for both of us.
As we're driving to the place where the future exhibit is, I can't help but wonder what I should say to her. She saved my relationship. She might as well had saved my life; God knows what I would have done had Emi actually got rid of me. That girl who can paint, yet can't put her thoughts into words. Yet when it really mattered, she pulled through with understanding. Maybe it was a way to make it up to me for her accidental appearance in Emi's room when we were having sex, but somehow I doubt that. When that happened she acted like she didn'teven notice. Knowing her, she probably didn't notice.
(Warning you right now, I may or may not be terrible at getting Rin's speech patterns down. It's almost as if she speaks a foreign language to me, and I know that's just not to me either.)
Emi runs up to the upstairs where some lady told us she would be. She was nice enough, although had cigarette smoke lingering around her; one of the many things that would probably shorten my life even further. God damn it, Emi. You really shouldn't be running up those stairswithout your running prosthetics on.
"Emi, you don't have your running legs on…"
"As if that stopped me before!"
She waits for me at the top. I guess she wanted me to open the door for her or something. What a time for me to be acting like a gentlemen towards her now. Anyway, I clench the doorknob with my hand, and turn it.
"Rin! I came to visit you! Hisao came too!"
"You shouldn't have come here."
"Why not? I mean we're best friends aren't we?"
I said my opinion on them being friends, so I'll leave it at that. The housing department thought they'd compliment each other. I'd personally find it rude that they thought that because they're missing opposite limbs, but I guess I'm not Emi or Rin in that regard.
"Not you. Him."
"Me? What did I do?"
"Nothing."
"Then why did you say that I shouldn't have come?"
"Because you did nothing."
Rin was pretty far away from the door when she gave me that response. I am terribly confused as to why she said that; for some strange reason Rin has got the idea that I'm the one at fault stuck in her head. "Never mind that Hisao, we'll talk about that later. What I do want to know is what changed your mind about doing this, Rin. Last time you mentioned it, for once you was pretty straight forward and said you had no interest in it. What changed?" Emi ended up breaking the silence that I left out in the open. Emi's always had a way of defusing my anger; I'm still not sure how she does that. The only time she can't do that is when she's the one I'm mad at, but even then that doesn't last too long. I think it might be because this is important to Rin, therefore she wants to share it with people that she cares about, and I'm obviously not on that level apparently. Maybe… I really don't know what goes through her mind, and if I did, I would never want to find out again.
"The boy." Rin's response always was vague, but this is pushing it to the next level.
"Oh! You mean the boy at art club?" I think I might have been wrong about Emi and Rin being more acquaintances. Maybe they are friends… Just maybe… Even so, I'm just as confused as to who they are talking about. Emi seemed to notice my confusion. "Oh, I'm sure she's mentioned the blind boy in the art club. If she hasn't, I'd be surprised."
You'd think that if she did tell me that, that would be something that sticks out. You know, almost as much as a legless girl running. A blind person in the art club isn't necessarily something I'd be able to forget something easily, but for some reason if she did mention it, it's not crossing my mind. I'm not sure if she did or didn't…
"Honestly, I thought you had a crush on him or something… It's almost impossible to tell what you like sometimes…"
I recall one of the reasons that Emi said that she and Rin get along so well. It was about not letting their disabilities stop them from doing what they love.
Suddenly, everything comes crashing down. Everything makes sense. Why didn't I see it before? Everything dealing with Emi and I's relationship is clear. I love Emi. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. She's what makes my life much more enjoyable, and without her I'd still be some guy moping around, complaining that I got a broken heart from a confession, literally. Even if I'm not the one who confessed, I'll never forget that day. I'll also never forget that day that Emi said that I'd better hurry up if I wanted to kiss her. I wouldn't be the man I am today. I don't let my arrhythmia stop me from being around her. Despite my hatred for physical exercise and activity, I soon accepted that part of my life, and embraced the support beam in my life, Emi.
"Hisao, are you alright?" She's concerned. She should be. I kind of spaced out on her, again. This isn't the first time this happened, though. One thing is certain, I know my next step, and no one is prepared for this… Not even myself.
"Emi… Marry me."
"WHAT!? What the hell brought that on? In front of Rin even! Isn't that supposed to be a private thing?" Emi's voice is doing something I'd never seen before, and it's adorable. While it's kind of amusing, I can't laugh at her, otherwise she would end up thinking that I was joking.
Here's the thing. I'm not.
Who knew her voice would change octaves every couple of words when she was genuinely scared or surprised, though… At this moment I'm not sure which emotion she's feeling right now.
"I thought you were already married." That Rin, giving responses that don't make much sense… Wait, what?
"Rin! I told you after that day we weren't! You don't have to be married to have sex!" Oh, so she did notice… Now wait a second!
"What happened to 'shouldn't that be a private thing', Emi!?"
"It's not my fault that Rin walked in on us!"
"Yes it is! You could have easily locked the door! I mean Rin could have knocked… err…. Kicked the door as a warning as well, but that's besides the matter."
"What if it was something important?"
I really want to say something like 'It wasn't!' or 'It was about damned butterflies!' or something that closely emulates the vice in my voice to that effect. However… I don't want to piss someone who I just proposed to off. I would eventually like an answer to that question as well.
"Hell, she really didn't walk in on much, Emi…"
"What does that mean, Hisao?"
"Did you forget? I still had my pants on… At least I'm pretty sure I did."
"Oh… Right…"
"Point is, Rin, why did you think that?"
"I don't know. It seems like how society is mention to work. And if something doesn't work right, then its wrong right? So it's wrong. Right? I don't know how to put what I think in words. It's why I paint. It's easier. I can just draw shapes without everyone asking 'What do you mean?' Art's meant to be interpreted differently Sae said. Each person thinks it differently, but they never ask the artist what they meant. It's left to speculation. So it's easier for me to paint than it is to talk."
Hmm… So what would happen if I actually try to ask her about her paintings?
Well, looking around, there's several paintings, thrown all over the pretty large room. I'm surprised I didn't notice how big it was beforehand. However, they all have one thing in common. They all feature a girl, which loosely resembles Rin, with a set of what appears to be iron bars, but at this second I'm guessing it's iron, as they're vibrant colors to match the color scheme of the rest of the painting. Rin's always been one for really vibrant colors… In some of these, the girl is crying. In some of these, the girl is sad. However, in some of these, she looks free and happy. In each one of the sadder toned ones there's someone else, as if she's saying goodbye… Wait… Those iron bars… The style resembles…
The Yamaku gate. The gate I hated when I arrived, but grew to love.
"Rin, why didn't you just tell us?"
"Tell you what? I just told you, I can't say what I want to say. Even right now, it's hard. It's like I'm the butterfly and someone's chasing me with a net."
"That you're leaving Yamaku."
"Hisao, that's stupid. Don't say stuff that you don't mean…"
"Emi, look. Look at the paintings. What do you see?"
"The same thing you see, or at least I think so."
"You want to know what I see?" No response. I'll continue talking then. "I see a girl. Not just any girl. But a girl who looks like Rin. Vaguely, sure, but I'm sure that if Rin wanted her to look exactly like her, she could easily do that. She's leaving it up to speculation, like she said. And this is what I'm speculating. That girl is meant to be Rin. Those iron bars that she's behind is the Yamaku gate. Look at it. It looks almost identical to them. And they are behind her, which means the girl, Rin, is on the outside. Notice how the picture actually show anything below the shoulders of the girl? Why? Because if Rin wanted to be true to herself, she'd have to paint herself without arms, which would immediately be a dead giveaway that it's supposed to be her. Notice that in some of them she's crying, or sad. There's people behind those gates. Who are those supposed to represent? I don't know. They're pretty vague human figure shapes. But one of them is probably supposed to be you."
You know what they say… The cold hard truth hurts…
Emi's crying, almost as hard as when she did when we visited her father's grave before the summer break started. She knows that I'm right. Rin's speechless, however that's nothing new, especially after what she told us about her lack of coherent speech.
"The boy. The boy who was blind. He quit the art club. I don't know why. I don't know why I even care. But something about it made me upset. I figured it would be better if I listen to Nomiya and do the art gallery. Maybe I wouldn't pay attention too much to things that aren't clouds. So I painted. I painted a lot. I got blisters on my feet. I worked hard. One thing that never changed. Emi understands that. Doing the unthinkable. Tezuka Rin. Me. I got a scholarship to an art school. I took it. Maybe it would teach me to pay attention less. An artist is only supposed to be so observant. I think… I wasn't going to tell you. I didn't want to. I was just going to send art to you once I got there. It would be easier to explain."
Rin's mind is really complex. One thing I do understand is this… She didn't want to hurt her friend. She waited until the last moment to tell us, so we would not worry about her. In her own little way, she's really kind.
After several hours of Emi and Rin talking it out, I'm going to decide that I had something more important to do.
"Emi, I'm going back to my house."
"What, why?"
"I got a couple loose ends to clear up… And believe me, I don't need you need you for this anyway. This time, it's strictly family."
"But Hisa-"
"Promise me this much, Emi. Make sure to think about that question I asked you earlier."
"What? Oh… I never did answer that…"
"Yeah, well make sure you get home. I'll be back at your house by tomorrow."
And with that, I'm walking home in the middle of dusk. Sunset happened a while ago, and it's really beautiful to see how much a place can progress. We went from nature to industry really quickly compared to how long the Earth's been around. Just natural evolution I guess… On my way home, I walk past a purple-haired figure. It's probably no one. However, she's following me. Whoever she is, she's definitely following me.
"Hisao, wait." And whoever it is, she knows my name.
"Hmm?"
"You don't remember me?"
"Honestly, I can't remember much of the people I used to be in contact before what happened, so if I can't recognize… you… I-Iwanako…"
God damn it. Did I ever remember to reply that letter? I think I wrote a response to it, but I can't remember. If I did it was probably in one of those damn dreams of where I'm still stuck in my first week at Yamaku.
"So... You do remember me then."
I scratch my head in nervousness. Damn this unkept hair, it's really annoying at times.
"Well, yeah... I mean it's kind of hard to forget..."
"What do you mean?"
"Listen, I need you to know something. What happened that day. It wasn't your fault, okay? The doctors said that eventually I would have had an attack later on in life. In reality, you kind of made my life better, in more ways than one."
"I heard. The doctors told me."
"Then, why'd you stay?"
"Hmm?"
"I mean, why'd you stay so long with me during those months? Everyone else stopped visiting. Why'd you continue?"
"Well, I mean, I did feel guilty. I mean, sure your accident could have happened later, or even earlier. But it wouldn't have happened during high school if I didn't do that. I mean, high school's supposed to be the best time of your life, and I feel like I ruined your chances."
I guess she's right in a way. I mean, I was miserable beyond repair during that time, but luckily Emi's fixed that relapse. However, she's also right about High School being the best time of my life. Emi's made it that way.
"Then why'd you leave? If you were trying to make me feel better, it didn't work."
"I know. That's why I left. Hisao, did you even read that letter?"
"Yeah..." So that answers the question of whether or not I responded to her or not. That or she didn't get it...
"I told you there. I'll tell you again. I felt like you gave up on yourself. Possibly even happiness. I'm not sure whether or not that was a good thing, or a reasonable thing considering your circumstances, but I didn't like it. I felt like if I went away from your mind, then maybe, just maybe, you'd push away that day into the back of your mind."
Something doesn't add up... "But if that's true, then why did you send the letter? Wouldn't that just increase the chances of me breaking down emotionally again? You know, remind me of the accident?"
"Yeah, well... That's the thing. I talked to your parents a lot after the accident. I was worried about you." That would explain so much. Why my mom stated that 'she was the only one who didn't set off my heart.' I don't even remember telling her that Iwanako was involved in my first one, given that she had to know something was up with her when she kept on visiting, I don't think it mattered at that point. She was just trying to be something she wasn't... A friend. It's almost the exact same thing I'm doing to Rin, with one difference. Iwanako can at least piece together how I work. She's been around me for so long, where as Rin is so open-minded it is almost intimidating, and I've only been around her for a semester. Maybe I should back off... She's going to be leaving Yamaku anyway, which means I won't see her much, if at all. "They started telling me that you started avoiding them, and that they knew about as much as I knew. So, I decided to fix that. I hoped that you hadn't shrunk back into your shell even further... I thought if I had reminded you about the outside world, that you would realize that people still care about you. If not me, then your parents. They're the only parents you are ever going to get Hisao. Remember that. I'm just a girl. A love interest, possibly. There'll be at least one more of me, especially knowing you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Hisao, there's a reason why I liked you. There's a reason why I called you out on that winter day. No matter what, if you like something, or someone even, you'll put yourself out there to make what you wanted happen. You were kind and considerate of the people you cared about, you were honest to yourself and everyone around you, and all in all, you just listened. That's the best person you, Hisao, could be. I wouldn't change that for the world, if I was you. But like I said... In the hospital... you gave up. It made me frustrated. How the image of the perfect boy was shattered. It's weird though... That image that you had back then is still gone... What replaced it is even stronger though."
Damn it, what the hell did I do to deserve this? I didn't do a damn thing today to get verbal praise from the girl who caused my heart attack. I swear, if there's a God watching out there, he likes me for whatever reason, even if I did yell at my mother.
"Well, that's what happens when you brush it off, and put the pieces back together I suppose. Trial and error, and here I am..."
"You always were one for the scientific approach."
"Yeah well, that's what I plan in majoring in."
"So you're planning to go to college, huh? Glad to see your disability isn't holding you from a future."
"Yeah well, the hard part is trying to find a college that both I and..." Damn it, I don't want to let Iwanako know about Emi. That would only end up bad... for me at least. "my personal trainer to go to." Iwanako only stares at me with a confused expression on her face. I can't blame her. "Well you see, the school's nurse thought if I exercised more, it would strengthen my heart to the point where activities wouldn't risk my heart going off, and so he set me up with one of the track stars... A real prodigy, even. It's unbelievable how fast you see a person can go, but then to do it with no legs, it's really impressive. I guess my trainer's been kind of my inspiration for getting my life together."
"After all, if she can run track without any legs, then why can't you with a broken heart?"
"I didn't say it was a girl..."
"Hisao, you're smart. I'll give you that. But there's one thing you lack."
"What's that?"
"Common sense."
"How so?"
"Well, first off, I didn't ask you anything about why you needed to find a college for two specific people to go to. That was my first clue, when you just spontaneously answered my unspoken question. Second of all, you spoke really well of her, even if you didn't mean to. I'm pretty sure a guy wouldn't be your inspiration to get your life together. Maybe to get in shape, yeah, but not your whole life. And third of all, you explicitly avoided using pronouns, such as he or she. I mean, it's pretty obvious that you wanted to hide something from me, and because I said that I liked you, you probably wanted to hide the fact that you are in a relationship so you wouldn't hurt my feelings. You're that type of a guy."
"I'm not sure if that's a good thing now, or a bad thing..."
"It's a good thing, Hisao. Don't change." And with that she's walking off.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?"
"Home. It's getting late, and I suppose you have someone to meet. When you get home you should just email me or something. Last time I was being nice, but this time, I want to keep in touch."
"Alright... I'm not sure when I'll get the chance to talk, but I'm sure it'll be nice!"
She's right though. I have someone to meet. And for once, it's not Emi.
My longest chapter to date! Woo, a stunning 4,683 words, not counting this Author's Note. I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I spent the time writing it. Before, I had no general idea of where I wanted this chapter to go, and ended up scrapping it for the first time within the second thousand words. Then I thought, eventually I'll have to make my way back to Yamaku (which by the way, I can't wait to do that. It's time for some characters to come back.), so I would have to come up with some way to piece it back together. Next chapter will be the last chapter to be during summer break, I need to tie up some loose ends, finish some stories. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and as always, stay classy and review please! I love feedback!
