A/N: Fluff. That's all that this really is. Girl is such a fluffy word. It's slightly OOC and AU, but that's really the only way to get fluffy MA. I really wish I had my writing mojo back, but I really couldn't think of what to do with "girl"…and then I heard that Jesse's Girl song…and so it started off as something like that…and then it just morphed to whatever this little plot is. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Disclaimer: Dark Angel isn't mine.
Girl
Every person has a turning point in his life. It is a moment that is so sharp, so clear, so real that one cannot deny the truth of it. It simply changes one's life. Permanently.
For Alec, it was the moment that he realized he was deeply, irrevocably, and utterly in love with Max. The realization shook him to his very core that it was a wonder he was still standing. Granted, when he had looked, he had actually ended up leaning against the wall.
Unfortunately, the realization came at the worst possible moment: When Max and Logan announced that they had found The Cure.
It was in that moment when Alec knew he had lost everything that he never even knew he had wanted. And as such, he fell in love with a woman, who was at that exact moment, kissing another man.
Life was ironic like that—or so he liked to think, when he was in a good mood. Most days, though, his mood wasn't so good. And he used an entirely different word than "ironic" to describe this particular aspect of his life.
He hid it well.
In the forty days since the great announcement, Alec had been every inch the good friend of the Couple of the Decade. He ran heists with her, tossed back beers with the gang, laughed, and was a smart aleck in every way possible.
He continued to seduce and be seduced by other women. He kissed them and acted like the complete tom cat she had always accused him of being.
What she didn't know was that when he closed his eyes at night, all he saw were her deep brown eyes. Or that when he saw a dark haired girl from afar, his heart always—always—skipped a beat, even when he knew that it wasn't her. She didn't know that he could recognize her scent, or the sound of her footsteps. She didn't know that he would know her anywhere, anytime, anyway.
Alec sighed loudly into his drink.
"What was that, Alec?" asked Logan, peering at him from over the computer screen.
"Huh?"
"Did you say something?"
"Oh, no…just…sitting here, quietly drinking my scotch. You know me." He replied drily, raising his glass in a mock toast.
"Scotch on the rocks tonight," mused Max, walking into the room saucily. "Something's bothering him."
Alec felt every inch of his body tingle as his nerve endings responded to the onslaught of being in her presence. He gritted his teeth and smiled tightly at her. He felt a small lump in his throat as he watched her slowly make her way over towards Logan, and perched lightly on the arm of his chair.
He looked away as they stared into each other's eyes.
If only.
But how could he compete when she was looking at him with those eyes? Intertwining her fingers with his like they were meant to be forged together? And oh, God, when she kissed him with those lips?
"Well, seeing as you guys are googly-eyeing each other, I'm off," he declared loudly, standing and draining the rest of the scotch. He felt the burn run through his system, momentarily paralyzing the agonizing pain he felt every time he was around these two.
"Oh, before you go," Logan tossed a packet at Alec and he caught it effortlessly. "Those are the coordinates and other documents you need for the next EO mission."
"Sure." Alec sighed inwardly. He knew it was futile. He went on EO missions because it was the only time he had alone with Max. But in order to go to EO missions, he also had to spend a whole heck of a lot of time with the two of them together.
"G'night, guys," he called out. But he knew there were too busy wrapped up in each other's world to really notice.
Alec strode out into the night and breathed in the cold winter air. More than once he wondered why he couldn't just have fallen in love with another girl. Any other girl.
He told himself one more time, like he did every night, that he really wasn't the kind of jerk who stole another guy's girl. Really.
He hopped onto his bike and with one last look up at the Penthouse, he sped away.
"So, whatchu up to?"
Alec gave Max a sideways glance and turned his attention back to—well, he hadn't really been doing anything but staring at the TV without comprehension. So, he shrugged and nodded towards the TV.
She threw her leather jacket over the back of the couch next to his head, then she pulled up a chair, turned it backwards and straddled it. "What are you watching?"
He frowned at her. "Don't you have anything better to do than, I don't know, be here?"
She shrugged, took the beer right from his hands and took a swig.
He hated this. No, he loved this. No, no, no. He hated this. He hated how she acted so familiar and comfortable around him. Like she had every right to share his space, to take his drink, and to be around him for no reason at all. He hated it because it was all so close within his reach.
If he leaned the other way, his shoulder would touch her arm. If he turned his head towards her, he could very simply brush his lips across her bare shoulder. If he leaned up a little higher, he could bury his face in the nook of her neck and inhale her scent. Hell, with very little effort, he could pick her right off that chair and cradle her in his arms on the couch.
If.
That was the problem. It was all so close within his reach, but he couldn't reach out for it.
He could never lean over, never touch his lips to her skin, nuzzle her neck, and hold her in his arms. Never.
Her phone rang, thankfully interrupting his train of thoughts.
"Hey,Logan," she whispered into the phone.
He grimaced at her. "Take that outside, will ya?"
She rolled her eyes at him, but obliged, leaving the room and walking into his bedroom. Alec gritted his teeth. Was nothing sacred anymore? Even his bedroom was going to be witness to Max and Logan. How was he ever going to go back in there and pretend that the coupledom did not exist?
"I said 'out', Max," he growled.
He heard her huff and say, "You know what, I gotta go," and hang up the phone. She came out of his bedroom, eyes ablaze, full lips turned down. "What is wrong with you these days?" she demanded, standing in front of him and crossing her arms.
What was wrong with him? Alec almost laughed out loud. What was wrong with him was that he was desperately in love with this girl standing in front of him. He was insane with desire for the one girl he couldn't have. What was wrong was that he wanted to tell her that he was the one for her. What was wrong was that the one girl who was right for him in every way was in love with someone else.
That was what was wrong.
But of course he didn't say any of that. Instead, he gave her an indolent smile, well-practiced and heavily used in the past few days, and said, "I'm watching TV and you're in the way."
He could have sworn he heard her growl. His lips twitched as it fought a smile. He loved the little noises she made when she was frustrated or happy or content or angry. But he fought the smile because she couldn't possibly know that.
"Liar," she muttered mutinously. "You weren't even watching TV this whole time."
His shock almost registered on his face. If it hadn't been for years of training of keeping his emotions in check, he might have gaped at her. He thought he had done an excellent job of pretending to be completely preoccupied. "You don't know that."
She shrugged. "Your eyes glaze over, your jaw was tight, and you were blinking too evenly, like you were counting between each blink. C'mon, Alec, you can't con the pro." She replied smugly.
He smirked at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"I guess it means that I know you."
There it was again. That little pang in his heart that screamed that she was The One. He ignored it and grimaced at her.
"Well?" she demanded. "What's wrong? What's going on? You've been acting all bent lately."
"What are you talking about?"
She shrugged and dropped onto the couch next to him. "You tell me, Alec," she murmured. "For the first time in a while, I actually think we're friends. Then all of a sudden, you do a three-sixty, and it's like you can't stand to be around me anymore. You leave whenever I'm around. You make these inside jokes that I'm not a part of. When we hang out with everyone, you barely ever look at me or talk to me. Hell, you even lie about watching TV just to pretend I don't exist…I mean, what did I do?"
Alec's heart ached. It hurt to see that he was hurting her. But what could he say? It wasn't that he couldn't stand to be around her anymore. It was because when he was around her, all he wanted to do was reach out and touch her. He didn't mean to exclude her, just that he desperately needed parts of his life that didn't include her…simply because she could never completely be part of his life. And he couldn't look at her all the time because he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to look away, or that his eyes would betray everything that he felt.
He cleared his throat and sat straighter on the couch. "It's really not you, Maxie…it's me."
"Oh god, I get that speech? What are we—breaking up?"
He smiled bitterly at that. "To do that, we'd have to be together," he drawled. He turned to give her a sideways look.
She chuckled. "Riiight. Like that's ever going to happen."
Ouch.
Alec leaned back against the couch and laid his head against the back. "Fine. Think whatever you want, Max. You're a horrible person. I don't want to be around you anymore. You're a bad influence and you make me do bad things. Is that better?"
"No. It's still not the truth."
He didn't think either one of them could handle the truth. The truth was that he loved her. Fact. If she found out the truth, she would never talk to him again. Fact. If he told her the truth, he was going to get hurt. Fact. The truth would completely ruin whatever they had together. Fact. Whatever they had together was all he would ever get of her. Fact.
No, the truth wasn't the way to go.
"I know," she declared as if she had discovered the greatest secret in the universe. "I'm cramping your style. Is that it?"
Hell yeah, she was cramping his style. He must have nodded emphatically on the heels of that enthusiastic thought because she was suddenly peering into his face intently. There was a single frown line on her forehead. He wanted to reach over and trace it delicately with a fingertip and smooth it out.
"Is there someone else?" she whispered.
He groaned inwardly. Someone else? When had she ever been his that there would have been a chance of someone else? And, for that matter, if she had been with him, there would never even be a 'someone else'.
But Max took in his pained, almost embarrassed expression, as an affirmative answer. She had a strangely wistful lopsided smile on her face. "Is she anyone I know?"
There was no point in fighting it, so he nodded.
"Is it Kara?" asked Max, her voice catching slightly in her throat. What was that? Why did her throat suddenly feel so constricted, her chest so heavy?
Alec gave her an incredulous, almost-disgusted look and shook his head emphatically. Thank god, she thought. Kara was gorgeous, but she was devious. So not right for Alec.
Alec needed someone who knew him. Someone who knew that he put up a carefree front, but deep down knew with a steady certainty that he cared deeply. Alec needed someone who would push him to be the good man that he was. Someone who would grudgingly go along with his harebrained money-making ideas and still have his back the whole time.
Alec needed someone…Max sighed. She couldn't think of a single girl out there who would be good enough for him. Not that he was ever going to know that. As far as he was concerned, he was still a pain in her ass. She was never going to let him know that she actually liked spending time with him.
"I got a question for you," he countered. "What are you doing here?"
Max gave him a look that said that it was obvious. "Because this is—" she trailed off, her eyes widening slightly in shock, her mouth clamping shut. She had almost said home.
She realized that most nights, she found herself walking into Alec's apartment for no reason at all. Even after she left Logan's place, she would drop in at odd hours to check if he was still up. She reasoned to herself that it was because she didn't sleep that's why she came over so often to bug him. To be bugged by him. To talk about their next heist. To watch TV. To invite him out to Crash. To share a beer with him.
Anything, really.
As long as it was with him.
Her heart hammered wildly in her chest. Oh god.
"Because what?" He turned to look at her.
She looked at him and her mouth went dry. Had she ever really noticed how damned beautiful he was? In all the time that she had known him, Max was sure that she knew every inch, every contour, every curve on his face. She could draw him with her eyes closed. Easy. She knew him.
But she had never noticed how full his lips were…never stopped to wonder how they would feel to kiss, how it would feel to be kissed by those lips. She had never stopped and stared into those eyes. In a distant part of her mind, she had known he had hazel eyes. She could tell anyone with perfect certainty what color they were to match his moods. But she'd never stopped and stared…not long enough to realize that they were the kinds of eyes that could take her very breath away.
"Max?" his voice was low, deep, reverberating through her bones. Had she ever noticed how deliciously deep his voice was?
"Hello? Maaa-aaax?" He waved a hand in front of her face.
She snapped out of her reverie and blinked at him, "What?"
He gave her a speculative, teasing smile. "What were you thinking about just now?"
She blushed. Oh damn, she blushed. She felt her cheeks go warm, felt little prickles of heat right to the very roots of her hair. "Nothing…" she lied.
"Ha!" he teased. "You're blushing!" Leave it to Alec to notice. And then to point out the obvious.
Then he frowned darkly, "Don't tell me you were daydreaming about Logan in the middle of talking to me," he ground out almost angrily.
"No! Never!" she cried. Too quickly. Too honestly. Because if she really thought about it, whenever she was with Alec, the rest of the world really just faded out. She didn't think about anyone or anything else. Not even Logan. She lived in the moment with him. Only him.
The realization struck her so hard she almost couldn't breathe. Suddenly, she noticed that he was so close, that his entire left arm touched her entire right as they sat on the couch. She realized that she was half-turned towards him, and he was half-turned towards her. Everywhere that she touched him, everywhere that she was within a few inches with him suddenly felt very, very warm.
If she leaned in just a few more inches, she could breathe him in.
Max stood. So quickly she almost stumbled, her knees were actually weak. "I have to go."
"What?" he asked also getting up. "Where?"
Max turned to face him ready to throw a nasty retort about how it was really none of his business, but her voice caught in her throat. He was so close. Her fingers tingled, her body started a slow burn of growing desire. She suddenly realized that she wanted him. She wanted Alec.
Had the world gone bent?
How was it that she was standing here feeling this inexplicable magnetic pull towards Alec? How was it that she had always known Alec was handsome…but never really noticed it until now? Or how wide his shoulders were, or how broad his chest was? Or how his forearms, which were exposed because he had pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, were perfectly chiseled—perfect for holding her close?
Had she gone completely, utterly insane?
Apparently she had. Because there was nothing more in the world she wanted at that very moment than to lean into him, to feel his arms come around her, for her lips to touch his…and…oh god, she was in so much trouble.
Alec felt his hairs standing on end with sheer awareness of her. She never stood this close to him. The way she was looking at him, her eyes unfocused, her lips were parted and her chin tilted up, sent Alec's heart into overdrive. If she'd been anyone else, Alec would have been sure that she wanted—was waiting—to be kissed.
He murmured something, maybe her name, maybe please, he couldn't quite remember. It felt like his hands suddenly had a mind of their own as they reached up towards her. His chest grew tight, his heart pounded. He brushed her dark hair away from her face, his hand resting to cup the back of her neck, his other hand drawing her closer.
He lowered his lips towards hers, hovering just a breath away for a second, offering her that moment to pull away. She didn't.
Their lips touched in the softest, barest, most intimate caress. It was such a soft kiss, but it felt like his heart was going to break right through his rib cage, his blood was rushing through his ears, his entire body tingled.
His fingers tightened their hold on her; his arms drew her even closer, almost crushing her against him.
And he deepened the kiss.
He wasn't sure if it was him or her, but someone gasped. It was a sound of shock and sheer pleasure as she began to respond to him. One arm wrapped around his neck, the other slipped around his back and she was holding him just as close, just as tight.
She opened for him, and he moaned in pleasure.
He had fantasized about kissing Max before. He had dreamed of it, night and day. But never had they been as good, as hot, as passionate as the real thing.
She was literally fire in his arms as she kissed him back hotly. Her lips were soft, pliable as he gently grazed his teeth over her lower lip. Her fingers curled into his hair sending tingles of pleasure-pain through his entire being.
He couldn't get enough.
In one swift, effortless movement, he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him, making obvious the intimacy of the moment.
She felt perfect in his arms.
She would fit perfectly.
He was burning as he squeezed her buttocks, pulling her tighter towards him and pushed up against her at the same time. He felt her momentary shock, and her eyes flew open. He met her gaze boldly, telling her with his eyes that this was exactly what he wanted.
Her dark eyes were glazed over, swimming with desire, her lips were swollen, her cheeks hot and flushed.
"Max," he murmured softly, as he lowered his head to kiss her jaw. "I want you."
She threw her head back and gave him complete access, complete surrender to the most sensitive and vulnerable spot of her neck. "Yes…" she whimpered.
"Yes, what?" he demanded hoarsely. If anything, he wanted her to know exactly what she was doing. He needed her to say the words. "Say you want me, Maxie," he murmured as his lips burned a hot trail down the side of her neck, all the while rocking their hips together.
"Yes, Alec…please…"
… "Alec…"
Alec…
"ALEC!"
The voice was louder and insistent, breaking through the heat of his passion.
"ALEC, WAKE UP!"
Alec's eyes flew open in shock. His vision went red, then black, eventually clearing until he saw light again. He blinked and groaned…it was just a dream. It was all just a dream. Of course it was just a dream. He and Max were never even friends in this lifetime.
He tried to get up, but firm arms held him tight. "No, not yet…" murmured an insistent voice. His eyes finally focused and he saw her. Max's face hovered over him, her dark hair a curtain around both of them.
He suddenly felt a sharp pain in the back of his head and he groaned. "What the hell—"
"I could kill you for scaring me like that," said Max darkly, her face a warring mix of concern and anger.
He turned his head and saw his green motorcycle in flames, crushed between the side of a building and a cement truck.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" she hissed, sitting back up. He realized that his head was cradled gently in her arms, and she was holding him.
"What happened?"
"You weren't breathing, you just laid there…so still…and I…I…" her voice broke off and she stared off into the horizon. He could have sworn that there were tears in her eyes, and her body was trembling slightly. "You couldn't possibly understand how it felt…" her voice trailed.
He couldn't possibly understand how her heart had stopped when she'd seen his prone body lying so still on the ground. She had never felt the vise-like grip on her heart before. She had never felt that kind heart breaking fear before.
He couldn't possibly understand the frenzy that had spurred her into action, pumping his heart into beating once more, giving her breath to him. He couldn't possibly understand the rage and despair she felt when he hadn't responded.
Or how it hit her with perfect clarity exactly how she felt about him. It was one of those strange turning points in one's life that changed absolutely everything: She couldn't live without him.
"Alec, you died." She looked at him, and this time a single teardrop rolled down her cheek.
He gave her a tired smile. "No, I think I just had a wake-up call."
She gave him a wobbly exasperated look. "What?"
"I had a dream…" he murmured. "You kissed me," he continued with a lopsided smile on his face. "I think you kind of liked it."
She couldn't hide the amusement on her face. "Wow, that must have been some knock on your head, huh?"
"Actually, I'm sure you liked it." His grin turned devilish, before he winced from a sudden sharp pang of pain that shot through his entire body.
She shook her head at him. "You're lying here, bleeding, with a broken leg, and you're talking about—Alec, you know I'm…I'm still with Logan." The statement felt hollow, and Max knew that she'd also had her wake up call.
"That's not permanent, is it?"
She glared at him, but there was no real heat or anger in her eyes. "God, you're impossible!"
He smiled weakly at her and he took one of her hands in his. "But you care." He pointed out simply.
She gave him a long, indecipherable look. "I guess, I do," she said evenly. "I guess I always have."
"Max?"
"Hmm?"
"…You're my girl," he whispered, as he suddenly fell back into blackness.
He didn't see the ghost of a smile playing on Max's lips, didn't feel the soft brush of her lips against his forehead. Didn't hear her soft whisper. "If you say so…"
The end.
