Chapter seven: Leaves In The Wind
That early morning was one they'd remember for a long time. After parting at the village gate, Sakura had to sneak back into her room and pretend to know nothing about why she hadn't been there when her mother came in the first time, while Sasuke had to find his way home with his back to a wall the whole time to hide the holes in his shirt from the black wings.
Kakashi wondered all day why the two of them seemed half-asleep. Sakura literally slept standing up at random moments, and Sasuke didn't pay attention to Naruto's sarcastic remarks at all. They had probably stayed up late, studying in Sakura's case and training in Sasuke's. Crazy kids.
"Oi, Emo Boy, we're supposed to be picking up trash," shouted Naruto during one mission.
Sasuke heard his voice, just not the words. Even on D-rank missions he always exceeded expectations, but today it was Naruto who had cleared out most of the garbage from a privately owned park they were working in.
"Eh," he mumbled. Why did Naruto's voice have to be so high? It sounded like a needle piercing deep into his brain. Especially at nine in the morning.
Naruto left him alone, instead elbowing Sakura, whose slow breathing and stillness meant she was asleep again.
"Sakura-chan. Wake up, already! What's with you two today? Am I missing something here?"
Sakura lazily resumed picking up junk from the perfectly manicured grass.
"You're not missing anything, Naruto," she said slowly. "Didn't get much sleep last night. That's all." She yawned loudly, irritated that Naruto had interrupted one of her "Sasuke-loves-me" dreams.
"Maybe you two should think twice before pulling an all-nighter," suggested Kakashi. As usual, he sat reading while the other three did most to all of the work. He would only ever pull his weight on missions if they were being attacked or something…
Sakura mistakenly fell asleep on that thought, dreaming about them visiting the Land of Waves again…
"…And that's pretty much how the rest of the day went," finished Sakura to her parents that evening. Her father shook his head after hearing her explanation.
"You shouldn't stay up like that, it puts your circadian rhythm off-balance."
"Yes, Dad. Won't do it again."
"Well, you'll probably do the exact same thing after that dance in a few weeks…"
Sakura froze. Dance? What dance?
And then it dawned on her.
Oh no. Valentine's Day. And the infamous Valentine's Day dance. Oh god.
"Have you thought about asking anyone dear?"
Yes, I have, only every day for the last four years of my life except this week because I've had more important things on my mind like finally getting the very guy I want to ask to it to like me back! she wanted to say.
"A little," was her brief answer. Sometimes brevity was the best way to go.
"Well, you didn't go with anyone last year, so you should make plans before the last minute so that won't happen again."
"I will."
I'm doomed! she thought secretly.
Ask him, you'll have a great time!
Don't ask him. He hates parties and social occasions.
Maybe that's 'cause he's never had someone to dance with before.
Maybe 'cause he doesn't like it.
Maybe he's never tried it!
Maybe you'll just end up looking like another rejected fangirl.
Maybe he'll be ok with everyone else knowing…
Maybe…
Sasuke always leaned against the wall with some other guys and looked disinterested during those things. Sakura couldn't think of a way to make it sound right. For once in her life, the problem wasn't whether Sasuke would go with her or not, it was if he'd enjoy the dance itself. Unknowingly, she was taking his feelings into account for once.
But what if he got over not wanting anyone else to know about "us?" What if we get to dance together? What if we get to SLOW dance together?
She entertained herself for a few minutes, envisioning that particular thought.
Yeah…they'd play some slow jazz tune, then we'd walk out onto the floor together…
She imagined herself placing her hands on his shoulders, looking deep into those black eyes, which seemed able to gaze into her very soul…he'd smile nervously, and they'd progress slowly at first, because neither of them knew how to slow-dance, but then in a graceful flow of movement…at the end, he'd let her fall back into his arms and kiss her, showing the world they didn't care what anyone else thought, they loved each other and it was going to stay that way no matter what…
She giggled girlishly at her own thoughts. Too many romance movies makes for a vivid imagination. He'd probably only agree to do something that it looked like she blackmailed him into…still, she had the knowledge he really only wanted to be with her, and not any other girls who would inevitably repeat the offer she hade made so may times before.
Lying back on her bed and staring at her room's white ceiling, she daydreamed her little fantasy again and again until it became almost real in her mind…
She was dreaming again. She was standing in a fancy rock garden, a spindly path leading up from the edge to a great castle sprawling across a mountainside. It was night already, so there were lanterns everywhere, casting a warm glow over the statues and tiny river, which fed into a much larger lake below the lit-up castle. She had never been somewhere so…magical before.
A noise from behind an ornately carved statue of a lion startled her. There were other people there. Peeking from behind the statue as not to disturb whoever it was, she gasped.
There was Sasuke.
And…
Sakura?
After recovering from the astonishment of seeing another version of herself, Sakura realized this must be some kind of astral projection dream. She was meant as a spectator this time, not a participant.
The Other Sakura wasn't her exact double, though. This one had long, almost waist-length hair, and a pink kimono with butterflies on it. The Sasuke she was kissing wasn't the same either. He was much taller than she was, and wearing a black robe with the red-and-white Uchiha fan on the back.
Sakura giggled to herself. It was sort of funny, watching her dream self and another Sasuke in love. She knew how the Other Sakura felt when Other Sasuke touched her so fondly, having felt it herself with the real Sasuke. It was like her experiences were a romance story, and some unknown author had embellished them to almost resemble a movie.
Other Sakura had laid her head on Other Sasuke's shoulder, closing her eyes in the blissful moment. Other Sasuke played with a lock of her glossy pink hair, his own eyes half-closed. Sakura was moved by their gentleness with each other. Is this what other people thought when they saw true love?
"Sasuke-kun…" said Other Sakura softly. Despite her differences from the real Sakura, she had the same voice.
"Yeah?" Same Sasuke voice as well.
I'm just…so happy that we're together…" said Other Sakura.
Other Sasuke brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"So am I, Sakura. You know I love you, and that's never going to change. Someday, when I've done everything I need to do, I'm going to ask you to marry me."
"Really?" Other Sakura's eyes sparkled.
Other Sasuke blushed, and answered "'Course. You're the only girl for me."
Sakura was overwhelmed with emotion. If this dream was showing how they truly felt about each other…she couldn't think of a way to say it in words. Love was such a pure and wonderful feeling, and she was happy she'd brought it to someone so consumed with darkness and resentment.
She sat back down on the other side of the stone lion, listening to the sound of crickets and wind blowing. A particularly stubborn moth was flying around the outside of an orange lantern, the glow of which seemed to fill more and more space until it blocked out everything else, and then-
She opened her eyes, meeting a view of her white ceiling. She sat up, realizing she'd fallen asleep on her bed. Her clock said it had only been an hour, though it seemed like much more than that. She wondered about what that particular dream was supposed to mean. At least it hadn't been anything like the one before the cliff incident…
She shivered. That whole night had been so…unreal. It already seemed like an eon ago. But everything was ok now… wasn't it?
Sakura needed some comfort. She reached under her bed, and pulled out her tiny wooden box she kept important things in. What she was looking for was at the very bottom, below several other things she'd kept over the years. They were mostly items that only had sentimental value to her… a woven bracelet from the Academy, a piece of brightly colored sea glass, a shell in the shape of a star…and her love letter from Sasuke. She had stuck it in there only last night…her first addition in several years.
Opening it, she reread the last few lines of untidy handwriting. "My love forever to a beautiful angel…"
No, Sasuke-kun, she thought. You're MY angel. My guardian angel. You're always looking out for me, always protecting me…
He'd saved her twice already in one week. Was she just danger-prone? Well…it was all right, he'd save her as many times as he needed to. Like her knight in shining armor, he'd always be there. Those hands of his that could crush boulders and bend metal would always be there to catch her if she fell. She treasured how even with such massive strength, he could hold her so lovingly, his handsome face always so close to hers, his hair tickling her cheeks. It must be every girl's dream, to feel so many tiny bolts of lightning all over her body when that special boy touched her so tenderly, then pulled her closer for a kiss.
She turned red even though she was alone, and giggled. Even now, her thoughts of Sasuke always got her excited. Back in the Academy, all the girls would squeal at the thought of being the chosen one to kiss him. But she had probably guaranteed that would never happen to anyone else…
A thought that had been stewing at the back of her mind surfaced.
Is love gained through using a potion the same as the real thing?
She had ignored that thought before, hoping to forget it. But it stayed in her head. Had she cheated somehow? Did using that potion mean only anything less than the real deal would happen? Then there was the most depressing thought of all.
He only loves me because I used that stuff on him.
Her Inner Self argued against that.
Well, any other girl would have done the same thing!
Right?
Sasuke sat alone, in front of the shrine he'd made for his deceased family. He usually went there to burn with anger at his brother or to ask for the spirits of his relatives for guidance. But tonight his attention was on a photo he'd brought with him.
He'd taken it on the day before the Genin graduation test. It was supposed to be of the school building, but a certain someone had accidentally walked in front of the shot. Back then he'd been angry, but now he saw it as a kind of omen.
The picture showed Sakura turning to face the camera, the school building barely visible in the background. He now noticed just about every detail of the picture, like her wide-eyed expression of surprise, which he now found cute, the way her then-long hair swished in the breeze…
"Mom? Dad? I need your help with something…" he said to the air around him. "You know that girl in my group, the one I always call annoying?"
No answer. There never was, though he knew the departed souls were listening.
"I …I like her. And not just 'like', I mean I like being with her, and holding her hand, and…" he trailed off, and sighed. "That kind of 'like'. And…well, I know there's this thing in a while…Mom, you always told me I'd find someone special to dance with on Valentine's Day, and well…she's the someone. But…I want to go with her, and I really want to dance with her, but…it's just…"
He took a deep breath and blurted out, "I'm nervous. Everyone else will know about…well…you know. And I want to make it special for her, so what do I do? I need advice, that's all…"
He lowered his eyes back to the photo. It would make Sakura happy if he didn't hold back out of anxiety…but she was ok with everyone knowing how she felt, and he was used to keeping his feelings inside…
Which is more important you, then? he asked himself. What everyone else thinks, or what she thinks?
Duh, what she thinks. If everyone else has a problem with it, that's their fault.
He smiled, feeling a sense of power from simply not caring. Their fault.
Not my problem. They can think whatever they want to think.
It's their problem now.
