The painful secret chapter 7
A few hours later Buffy walked into her room to see Tia was still asleep. She softly shakes Tia waking her up. "Come on sleepy. Time to get ready."
"Ready for what?" Tia sits up and watches her mom getting the clothes out that they bought earlier.
"The dinner. Remember? We have an hour to get ready."
Then she remembers "Oh yeah. I want my dress." Buffy passes the dress to her. Then places all the rest of the clothes on the bed. "Mommy are you really going to wear them weird colored clothes?" Buffy's smile grows.
"Maybe, if Angel wants me to. We'll get you ready first." They both get ready. Tia looked the cutest and Buffy, well she was glad Angel would love her no matter what. They walk down the stairs to see Lily and Joyce were both ready with Angel and were just waiting for the girls. They walk down the stairs and the grownups all laughed.
"Honey what are you wearing?" Joyce asks Buffy.
"Well Angel said he wanted something bright."
"I didn't think you would actually wear that or even find that." Angel says.
"So what you don't want me to wear it."
"If you want to that's fine with me." She could tell by his face it wasn't the best outfit.
"Don't worry I bought something else. But what do you think of Tia? Little princess if you ask me." Everyone looks at Tia who is holding onto Buffy's hand.
"You're adorable." Angel says taking her hand and twirling her around it circles and then he picks her up. Buffy smiles and gets lost in the sight of her daughter and her one true love, she is only brought out of her thoughts when Joyce says, "Well Buffy when you go up tell Dawn she only has thirty minute before we leave."
"Ok" she goes back up stairs leaving Tia with Angel. She knocks on Dawns door and then opens it to see her fighting with her hair. "Hey, we only have thirty minute before we get going. Do you want help?"
Dawn just looks at her. Buffy walked to her taking the brush out of Dawn's hand and brushing the long brown hair out straight then sliding a clip in on one side to keep Dawn's hair of her face.
"Thanks"
"That's ok. I better go get ready."
"I agree." She giggles.
Thirty minutes later Buffy walked down the stairs to see everyone was still waiting for Dawn.
"DAWN! Get your but down here." This drew everyone's attention to Buffy. Angel's eyes grew wide.
"Buffy. Your beautiful."
She turns to see him now standing by her, "Don't sound to surprised will you?" she says sarcastically.
"Sorry, I just thought the everyday you was the most beautiful you in the world and now you have just out done yourself."
"Thanks I guess."
Dawn come down the stairs not looking any different from when Buffy saw her.
"I'm ready."
"Ok let's go then." Everyone walks out the house and to the cars. Buffy, Angel and Tia went in Angel's car while the other three went in Joyce's. At the restaurant Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Giles was waiting.
"HI!" Tia ran over to the guys and jumped into Xander's arms.
"Hey little Buffy." Xander says supporting her in his arms.
"That's a pretty dress Tia." Willow says which makes a smile grow on the small face. When everyone is there they go in and get their seats. They sit at a round table with Tia in the middle of Buffy and Angel then the rest sitting around the table.
It was about nine o'clock when everyone has finished their food. Apart from Tia who had only a little bit left to finish. Buffy had kept rubbing her eyes and had made them red, which no one noticed apart from Angel.
"What wrong? You tired?" Buffy nods at Angel. "Don't worry. We'll get home, curl up in bed and have a peaceful night." They smile. Buffy loved sleeping with Angel next to her. It's only happened a few times but every time she felt relaxed and safe. His cool body next to hers; his strong arms protecting her and now her daughter as well, it was paradise.
Throughout the night the Scooby gang got to know Lily and had started to discuss thing that Tia does and that Buffy use to do, most of them embarrassing; when Buffy had heard enough she ask Angel if they could leave and Angel agreed.
They got to the house with Tia still wide awake; Joyce said they would be home soon so Angel left money to pay for everything.
"Was that true?" Angel asks Buffy as they walk into the house and sat down on the sofa for a minute.
"Is what true?" she looks at him.
"That you use to run around the house naked and won't put on your clothes; that you wouldn't let any of your food touch; that you would fall down the stairs at least once a day; that-"
"Yes ok it is and don't mention is again. It's bad enough that Willow and Xander found out about me going in for swimsuit competitions- you didn't need to know that."
"Really? That I would of liked to see."
"Yeah well that's in the past. I don't like my mom telling my mates embarrassing stories about me."
"Buffy everyone has embarrassing stories about them. In a few years you'll be embarrassing Tia with stories about her. It's normal."
"Yeah but I didn't grow up normal."
"You grew up perfect." They were holding hands and looked into each other's eyes, their faces grow closer and the lips slightly touched but…
"MOM!" coming from upstairs, Tia was shouting and straight away Buffy and Angel run up the stairs to find Tia on Buffy's bed. Buffy walked over to her and picked her up.
"What's wrong?"
"There was a spider." Buffy sighed,
"Is that it?" Tia nods "Oh, thank god" Buffy tries to put Tia on the floor but she won't let go. "Tia it's a spider." Still she wouldn't let go. So Buffy placed her back on the bed. "Where is it?" Tia points to the wall by the window. Angel grabs it and then throws it out side.
"Your mom is back." He saw the three women walk up the path to the house.
"Ok, well can you make drinks for us all while I get Tia into bed." Angel nods and leaves the room. As he walks down the stairs he remembers that him and Buffy had almost kissed, already it was happening. What if they went too far? No. They couldn't. He won't let it happen. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, mostly Buffy and Tia. They had given him back the light he missed and he wouldn't destroy that.
Tia was still on the bed as Buffy grabs her nightclothes, "Mommy? Are you and Angel boyfriend and girlfriend?"
Buffy didn't know how to answer, on some level they will always be going out, no matter if they were with other people they would always drop everything for each other. "Mommy?"
"Sorry. Um, no we're not." Buffy saw the disappointment on Tia's face. Tia never had a father and with the way things were going she would never have a father. Angel is out of bound and Riley had gone, as for her real father he would never get near her. This reminded Buffy that he was getting out of prison and she felt sick, dizzy and scared. She changed Tia and tucked her under the covers; kissing her on the head. "I'll be back soon." She walks out the room and shuts the door. Standing there for a minute she has a lump coming up her throat and it keeps coming. She rushes to the toilet and is sick. When there is nothing left to come she sits back on the cool floor.
"Hey Angel. Where's Buffy and Tia?" Dawn ask Angel when she sees him in the kitchen.
"Upstairs. Buffy's putting Tia in bed. I'm making drinks what do you want?"
"Nothing thanks." she walks back into the living room and sits next to her mom shortly followed by Angel with all the drinks.
"Buffy not down here yet?" Angel says not seeing Buffy down there. "I'll go see where she is." He walks up the stairs and to Buffy's room; opening the door slowly he sees Tia asleep, but no Buffy so he shuts the door. He turns around and then hears crying, Buffy crying. "Buffy?" he opens the bathroom door to see Buffy sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest. He sits down next to her wrapping his arms around her. "What's wrong baby? Tell please"
Her body shakes but she quietly says, "I'm scared" Angel turns her so they are face to face and he lifts her chin.
"Of what? You're safe, Tia is too."
She shakes her head a little, "No we're not. His going to hurt her, hell he already is."
"Who?"
"Who do you think?" Angel realised who she meet. Angel wanted to kill him for touching Buffy.
"What do you mean 'he is already hurting Tia'?" he is trying to keep his demon under control and it's so hard but Angel won't let it out.
"She asked if we were going out. I said no and the look on her face. She always wanted a father, someone to protect her. You know, a dad to tell her that no guy is good enough for her. She won't have a father because me and you are a no no and my other boyfriends weren't anything special and her real father is a rapist that's in prison who is getting out next month and what if he found her. He will hurt her I don't want him near her and-" she is panicking so much her word blend together.
"Buffy breathe calm down. Your having a panic attack and there is no reason to." He pauses; Buffy was pale and now heavy breathing. "Just breathe. Yes, you and me can't do anything but that doesn't mean I don't wanna be a father to her. I love her. I love you both and he will not get near you two. Forget about him."
"I can't. His always going to be there. His fingers are always going to be over my body. Tia will always be wondering who her real father is and I can't just say-"
"Buffy breathe!" Angel cuts in. She is panicking too much. Her breathing was uneven and she was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He holds her by her arms, they are still both on the floor, and he looks into her eyes "Look at me. I will never let him near you. I will kill him if he hurts you or Tia. I promise." This seems to relax her a little. She was shaking still but she wasn't as dizzy. "I'm going to get you a drink of water and then be back ok." She nods and he gets up to go get the drink.
"Where is she?" Joyce asks Angel.
"Um, she's in the bathroom. She doesn't look to good so I'm going to put her in bed."
"What's wrong with her?" she asks getting more worried.
"She was having a panic attack about him" and he continues to the kitchen and gets the drink while Joyce runs upstairs and to the bathroom where Buffy was still on the floor.
"Honey?"
"I'm ok mom" Joyce sits next to her oldest daughter and holds her hand.
"Is this the first one?" Buffy nods. She use to have panic attacks after she was raped. Joyce only saw them when she came out the metal hospital and they were bad, Buffy had fainted twice because the lack of oxygen. As her pregnancy went on she had more and more. But when she had Tia they stopped. Until now. Angel came back and handed Buffy the drink, which she took and sipped at it.
"Thanks, I think I'm going to go to bed." Angel helps her stand and then holds onto her. Joyce kisses her on the forehead. As Angel takes her to their room. She gets into bed and cuddles Tia while Angel climbs in behind her. She doesn't feel his cold skin against her, she feels material.
"When did you get clothes?" she whispers.
"I had them in the car but I forgot about them, but when we got in the car earlier I saw them." He whispers back and then kisses her behind her ear. Angel had his hands on her waist feeling it rise and fall. Her breathing had gone back to normal which he was happy about.
Buffy tried to move her arms, couldn't. Tried moving her legs, couldn't. She looked around; all she could see was white. White walls, white ceiling and white clothes. Where was she? She saw the door and there were locks on it. The small widow had bars on it. The door opens. No! Buffy think and then before she can think of anything else there is a needle in her arm. She scream and tries to get out of these restrains but nothing happens. She saw the man climb on the bed and straddle her hips. He slides his hands up her belly under her top. He rests his hand over her breasts, squeezes them and she screams. One punch to her cheek, then he grabs her arms.
"Shut up, Buffy!"
"Buffy!" Her eyes shoot open to see Angels said her name and that his hands are on her arms with Tia sitting the other side of the bed. Buffy pushes his hands away and rushes to the bathroom to be sick again.
"Mommy?"
"Stay here Tia, mommy just isn't feeling to good." Angel follows her after grabbing the water off the dresser. "You ok?" Buffy nods from the same place she sat on earlier. "What happened?" Taking a seat next to her. Giving her the drink. "You're shaking still."
She takes a sip and then puts the drink on the floor "I'm fine" obviously she wasn't.
"You don't scream like that when you're fine. What did you see?" tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Did I scream loud?"
"Not very loud. Just Tia and me heard you. Tell what happened."
She shacks her head, "Mommy?" Tia was standing by the door.
"I'm ok baby." Buffy gets up walks over to her and picks her up giving her a cuddle and walks back to her room followed by Angel. He watches them climb into bed leaving space for him. Buffy stokes Tia's hair; her eyes wide while Tia's are closed. What was going on in Buffy head? Angel needed to know. He hated not being able to help her. He would talk to her tomorrow; he understood that she didn't want to talk about this in front of Tia. So he wrapped his arms around the two girls and rested his head on Buffy's. "You're mine and you're safe." With Angel saying loving thing in her ear she was able to fall back to sleep and didn't have any more nightmares. That night.
