Hey fanfictioneers,
Finally Chapter 6 is here :D I'd like to thank all of those that have fav'd this fanfic. It makes me all squishy inside that you actually care about my little story.
Also, I know the spacer Shepards mother is Hannah, but for the sake of my story my colonist mother is Hannah too, encase anyone asks :P
On a side note, the inscription I put on Hannah Shepards gravestone is actually from my own mums gravestone. I'm not sure where my sister got it from, but I think it's beautiful and simple. (much luv mama!)
Why oh why do I let bad things happen to my sweet little Turian? Sigh...
Please comment, I'd really appreciate it. MWAH!
Xxx Maqi
Calm before the Storm
Shepard was locked in her room on the top floor of the Normandy, and horribly bored! Between Dr. Chakwas and Miranda always checking up on her and Grunt standing guard at the door, she was losing her mind.
After an intense day in the medical lab attending to her torn wounds she was finally able to recover in the comfort of her own bed. But instead of recovering, Shepard would always find herself wondering the halls of the ship only to end up sitting in the dark corner of the main battery thinking about the argument the two of them had. Every time she was forcefully escorted to her room, she would always return; again and again, leading to- of course- the locked door, Grunt and the double mint twins. It had been two days since Garrus left her and the team, and every second was torture.
The merc activity on Mindoir was finally over and the colony was slowly pulling themselves together. Miranda had really stepped up to the plate and taken charge of the clean up on the surface. Not something Shepard thought she'd ever volunteer to do. As moody and arrogant as she could be sometimes, Shepard admired the genetic beauty more then she'd let on. But as her team were busy with the colony and rounding up any remaining mercs, she was locked in her sterile quarters and couldn't do anything but think. If it hadn't of been for Thane and the emails he sent her, Shepard would be tearing down the walls.
Her eyes skimmed the latest message from him, a small grin tugging at her lips.
Shepard,
Why are you out of bed? You can not heal if you're sitting at your computer. Don't make me come up there, or worse yet; send Miss Chambers.
Sleep... NOW.
Thane.
His words from earlier came back to her. He cared for her? In what way? Apparently Thane had stayed at her side throughout the whole ordeal on Mindoir, helping Mordin patch her up before finally carrying her to the Normandy to let Dr. Chakwas take over. If it hadn't of been for his company Shepard would be stir crazy by now. She owed him a lot. But.. she didn't no if she could give Thane what he wanted, whatever that might be.
Clicking at the keys, Shepard replied.
Krios,
If you want me to go to bed, MAKE ME! I'm bored! And if you send Kelly up here I will put you at the top of my hit list when I finally get out of here assassin! Don't test me..
annoyed and trigger happy.
A knock at the door roused Shepard from her pc, so after pressing 'send' she switched off the monitor and turned to face the door just as Dr. Chakwas entered.
"Oh, typical Commander," the Dr said with a sly smile, "can you not lay down for 1 whole day?" Coming to the back of her chair, Chakwas leaned forward and petted Shepard on the head with her hand. Shepard smiled, ever since their first mission against Saren, her and the Dr had become close, their relationship almost mother/daughter like. She was the only one that could do such childish things to Shepard, and live to tell the tale.
"Doc, I'm fine, really! See?" She jumped up from her seat and lifted her tee-shirt showing the Dr. the now faint scars of the shrapnel wounds. Her slash against the throat had healed nicely too, it wasn't as red, but the scar was noticeable. A permanent memento of her time back on her home planet. She could deal with it. Some men liked women with scars. Of course, all those men were Krogan. Or Turian, her mind reeled..
"Yes yes Shepard, I can see you're going mad in here," Chakwas said, leaning against the desk and crossing her arms, "but you have to take it easy. Your wounds might be healed on the outside, but you still have internal injuries to worry about. That means NO going ground-side." Her look was firm, like she was trying to mentally project her real meaning behind her words.
Shepard knew exactly what she meant. No going ground-side was code for, don't even think of going after Garrus right now or you'll be in big trouble! Darn doctor knew her much too well. She was right though, she wanted badly to get back on the surface, but not only to find Garrus. She had other business there. Someone else she wanted to see, but she didn't want to tell her anyone that just yet.
"Doc, I have to. Garrus is a part of our team and as a team we help each other. I screwed up before, but I won't this time."
"He left us Commander. Doesn't that bother you?" She tried not to feel the stab that was silently puncturing her insides, of course it bothered her! It pissed her off! Made her so incredibly angry that she wanted to break... something!
"I'm waiting..." the Dr. said, her grin getting wider. The cheeky woman obviously knew something about something? Why did Shepard suddenly think everyone on this darn ship was talking about her?
"Doc, I have to find Garrus. I have to," her gaze fell to the floor, too embarrassed to face her friend. Again she found the doctors hand on the top of her head, petting her gently, "I.. care.. about him."
She waited for the doctors reaction, sure it was going to be... well, not the best. But to her surprise Dr Chakwas only nodded her head.
"I'm not surprised Commander, I could see this coming from a mile away. Ever since the SR1"
"You could? Well, you could of told ME about it! I've been tearing my hair out the last few weeks trying to figure out this... mess I've gotten myself into." Slightly frustrated Shepard ran her hands through her hair sighed, "but, I want to go back down there for a different reason this time around. I want to find Garrus, and I'm sorry but not even you are going to be able to stop me when that time comes. But right now there is something else I want to take of. I would... really appreciate it if you made this easy for me and let me go." The Dr just simply nodded her head, though Shepard didn't actually know if that meant it was ok.
"I understand how you feel Commander, love is a tricky thing." Shepard felt her cheeks go red. Yep, she definitely knew something. Damn it! "You have to promise me something though Shepard, promise me you won't go after him just yet. Give it another day, just one more."
Shepard smiled, "I'm not going to have to pull rank on you, am I doc?" Dr Chakwas laughed heartily as she headed back towards the door.
"If you can't keep the promise, then yes. One day Commander, please? Go, but come back quickly. Then we can sort out a rescue mission tomorrow. Promise me Commander."
The look on her face was purely conniving, and Shepard loved it. She loved how the older woman could make her look at herself and see when she was being difficult, she couldn't help but smile back at her.
"Fine doc, I promise. I'll go and come back. No fighting.. no shooting up the place. Happy?"
"Very," stepping through the door Dr. Chakwas dismissed Grunt from his sentry and they both watched him leave with a sigh of relief and impatience. Turning back to Shepard she smiled again.
"Thanks Shepard. Just, take it easy. Oh, and by the way; I'm not too clued up on interspecies... relations... so it's probably best if you speak to Dr. Solus. We wouldn't want anything... untoward, happening to you after all of this over."
With the Drs' words hanging in the air, she left leaving Shepard planted in place, mouth almost touching the floor and red as a beetroot.
o.O.o
Hannah Shepard
No longer in our lives to share
But in our hearts you're always there
Step softly, a dream lies buried here.
Shepard reread the epitaph again and sighed, wiping away the grime that years of neglect had let build up. The monument was a simple structure, a small obelisk made of polished onyx and cheap gold-like leaf edging. It was all she could afford at the time, but she loved it nonetheless. This was all she had left of her mother, well... this and her memories.
"Hey mum, it's me," lowering to her knees she placed the demael flowers lazily across the base of the stone and smiled, "sorry it's been so long."
Staring at the gravestone her thoughts were suddenly back in her childhood, years before the Batarians were ever a threat. This clearing was their most favourite place on Mindoir, far from the hustle and bustle of the colony; a place where they could just lay on the thick grass, stare at the sky and dream about what was out there. Sometimes they would bring a small snack, usually just bread and fruit, and they'd stay here the whole day; and when the evening came her mother would take her in her arms and together they'd sit at the edge of the cliff and watch the sunset, marvelling at the changing hues of reds and yellows. They were such simple and easy times. A weak smile played on Shepards lips, Gods she missed her.
The sound of footsteps behind her brought Shepard out of her memories, and she turned to face the intruder, her eyebrow raising as Thane came into view.
"That's unlike you Krios, giving yourself away like that."
"Very much intentional Shepard," he said calmly, coming up beside her, "I didn't want to scare you." His eyes went down to the small stone and he smiled, "This is where your mother is laid to rest?"
"Yeah, this was our favourite spot. It was the perfect place to bury her ashes. From here she can look out over the cliff and see the entire colony," she took Thanes hand in hers and pulled him towards the edge. The view was amazing. Vast mountain ranges lined with sombre forests, sweeping fields, lakes and of course the small colony nestled comfortably amidst it all that from this height looked like a small buzzing mound of ants. She loved it here.. had loved it here. Again she felt herself drifting into her memories as the first receding rays of the sun darkened the horizon.
"Shepard? Are you alright?"
Where did that tear come from?
"Sorry, I didn't mean... it's stupid." Laughing nervously she wiped the tear from her cheek, flushed with embarrassment. Every damn time, she thought.
"Tell me about her."
Shepard met Thanes eyes and smiled. Wanting to be comfortable she dropped to the ground, pulling the drell with her so they could sit beside each other with their legs hanging over the cliff
"Well," she started, "she was beautiful and smart. Kind to everyone, very popular among the other colonist you know. She would always be there to help when ever someone asked, even if it meant she would go without something," she smiled wide, a glint in her eyes as the memories came upon her over and over. "I remember she grounded me once for staying out late one night with Loire. Man, she was so angry I thought she'd never let me out of the house again." The thought of Loire made her sigh inwardly, but she pushed it aside, "She was everything a girl could want in a mum."
Again without realising it new tears were suddenly hot on her cheeks. Every time she thought about her mother the memories always led to that day. Thanes hand quickly clamped over her own and squeezed her tightly, letting her know he was there.
"I'm sorry Shepard, I should not have.."
"It's alright," she said, cutting him off, "really." Taking a deep breath she continued, letting her tears fall if they so pleased.
"When the slavers came she grabbed me from my bedroom and locked me in the storage unit under the stairs. Trapped inside there I heard them coming inside the house. Smashing things, breaking windows; you know, that kind of thing. Then the screaming started. Men, women... children; it didn't matter how much they pleaded or yelled or tried to get away. But above all the screaming and the noise and gunfire I heard her." Shepards tears were now thick and heavy, falling from reddened eyes like liquid lead. " All I could do was press myself against the furthest corner of the small alcove and cover my ears to block it out. But.. but what I really wanted to do was help her! I really did! Everything within me wanted to bust down the door and help her, even if it meant I died at least it was with her. But I... couldn't. I couldn't move. I just sat there listening to her scream and scream until... until..." She couldn't go on. The memory of her mothers final tormented moments were echoing in her head, and she finally let go of her pride and broke down. Not even when her mother died did Shepard let herself fall to pieces, always keeping the stoic facade. She was strong! She was a Shepard! But now, with her shoulders shuddering as the deep sobs racked through her she finally felt.. released.
Thanes arms were immediately around her, pulling her as close into the side of him as he could, shushing her softly, his lips resting in the mess of her hair. "You were a child," he said, "there was nothing you could of done. Your mother did what she did to protect you, take solace in that Shepard, she loved you."
She held onto him tightly, letting the motions of her weeping overcome her, burying her head in warmth of is chest when Thane brought his hand to her face and lifted her chin to meet his gaze, allowing him to wipe the tears from her sodden cheeks.
"Shepard, I know you have probably heard it all before, but your mother did the right thing. If it had not of been for her sacrifice, you would not be alive. You would not of joined the Alliance, defeated Saren and the Collectors, and you definitely wouldn't be here; letting me look at you, or hold you." Wiping the last of her tears Thane let his thumb skim lightly along her bottom lip. A fire went through Shepard like never before, excitement mixed with...panic.
"Thane, I.. can't..," but he was shushing her again, pressing his forefinger against her mouth, his gaze never faltering.
"Shepard, will you hear my confession?" Her heart stopped, no.. froze. She wanted to move away, but his grip on her was tight, commanding. Whatever he wanted to say, he wanted to make sure he said it to her face.
Without waiting for her answer Thane began to speak, his eyes never leaving hers. "I am, aware of your relationship with Garrus, but I still feel I have to speak my mind. When you were almost killed by Sidonis I thought I would never see you again. Would never hear your voice, or smell your scent, see you smile. It, made me feel something that had long been dead since... Irikah. But.." he paused, letting the right words form before hesitantly speaking again, "I do not no if what I feel is.. love Shepard. I do not know.. if I am in love with you, but I feel very strongly for you. I want you to know that I will do anything you ask, I will always be there to help you should you need me. All you have to do is tell me what you want."
He let his hold on her soften enough she could pull back slightly and get a good look at him. Was he serious? She didn't know what to say to such a confession without it being a lie or hurting him, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. He had done more for her in the last two days then she could of asked for or even deserved. She liked Thane, maybe even loved him. Their friendship was at a deeper level then any of her other team mates, but...but.. she loved Garrus. No, she was in love with Garrus, and that made this even harder for her to say.
"Thane, I.. appreciate what you're saying. But I.. can't... return those feelings." This is it, he's going to hate me now!
"Shepard, I care about you enough to stand back and let you be with Garrus without interfering. I do not want to do anything to bring you pain. I just wanted you to know how I felt." Turning back to face the decadent view he took a deep breath, almost like he was releasing a mound of pent up stress. "Tell me what you want Shepard, what do you really.. really want?"
There was no doubt in her mind about the answer to that question. There was only one thing that mattered to her more then anything right now.
"As much as I'm super pissed at him," she said, her tone changing to a more light hearted level, "I want to find Garrus. He could be in trouble, or worse. I don't want to take that chance."
Thane nodded and let his arm come around her again and pulled her over so she could rest her head against his shoulder. "I'm sure he is fine, Shepard. This is Garrus after all. Besides, I'm sure he's saving himself for the ass kicking he's going to receive when you find him." They both chuckled, the tension that had built finally dissipating.
In front of them sunset was in full effect, casting the sky in a swirling array of deep purples and vibrant oranges.
"If that is what you want Shepard, I will be there to help you. We will go and find him, and bring him back. But I want you to know that, even though I do not know if I am in love with you, I want to warn you. If it turns out that I am in love with you, not even Garrus will be able to stand in my way of pursuing you."
She should of been angry at that statement. She should of told him, no no no! But what was the point? He knew how she felt, and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardise what they already had, so she let it go and just enjoyed the dancing rays of the setting sun until the cold forced them to go back to the Normandy.
o.O.o
Finding Sidonis' hideout had been harder then he thought it would be, but since he was on foot Garrus cut himself a little slack. Not that it made him feel any better. Nope.. he still felt like complete shit, and those feelings he definitely deserved!
The way he left her! Turned his back on her even though she was pleading with him through teary eyes and such obvious pain! But NO! He had to fuck that all up for... SIDONIS! The last time someone did that to her he was cast to the side; friendship over.. goodbye forever! He couldn't go back now, couldn't face her, and that made his heart tear in two. All he had left was this. He had to find Sidonis and put an end to everything, put an end to him! For his lost team, the deaths of the colonists and for Shepard. Mostly...for Shepard. Not only had he almost killed her, he'd taken her from him forever just by being alive and that was something he would never, ever forgive.
The bunker was up ahead and pulling himself together he moved quietly towards it, following the worn trail and sidestepping partially hidden stones and tree roots. The area was densely forested, loose wet leaves falling delicately on his head and shoulders, but after a moment of searching he finally found the entrance and slipped inside.
It was eerily quiet. There wasn't much to the hideout, a few simple storage boxes and low tables, but looking around Garrus couldn't see a single person. With his sniper rifle clutched tightly in his hands he searched the three rooms on the lower level, confusion setting in. Where the hell was everyone?
Rummaging through desk draws and shelves proved useless, there was nothing helpful here. It was like the whole place had been stripped clean just before he arrived, but just as he was about to give up a sound came from the top level of the building. Finding the stairs Garrus started to ascend until he came to the second floor landing and was met by a long hallway with a single room at the end. From where he stood he could see shadows dancing in the doorway, the sounds of clicking and low muffles echoed down towards him. He tensed, finally!
Bringing his rifle to aim he slowly and quietly made his way down the hall, keeping as close to the right side as he could. Straining his ears, he tried to focus in on the muffling sounds, finally able to decipher random words.
…...idio ...ident …... again …..colonist... rian tech...
They made no sense, but there was something familiar about the voice. Garrus froze, it was him! He felt the rush of adrenaline surge through him, his blood burned under his skin and all he wanted to do was storm into the room and start shooting. With his back against the wall he brought his rifle up and charged, not stopping until his rifle barrel came into contact with the back of his soon to be victim who was too busy with the communications module to notice; but Garrus faltered as he finally saw his face.
"Loire?" Lowering his gun he roughly turned the human to look at him. He looked, different. "What are you doing here?"
"Uh.. Garrus right?" he said, slowly edging away from the towering Turian, "I'm, ah.. trying to call for help."
Garrus looked back and forth between the comm station and Loire, trying to figure out the strange vibe he was getting, "Does it work?" he asked, keeping Loire in his peripheral vision as his talons ran swiftly over the device.
"Uh yeah, I think so. I've been trying to ah, contact the Normandy."
Garrus pawed at the console, trying to get the thing to work and noticed the call log. Days of communications with various groups, the Shadow Broker and other names he didn't recognise, until reaching the bottom of the list where... huh? The latest communication was signed with an 'S' and had only been received a few minutes ago. Garrus knew exactly who that was, and after pressing play on the screen, the voice of his enemy blared to life.
"Loire, you idiot; you were supposed to kill them! Now my identity has been compromised and I'm going to have to start all over again! Bring whatever colonists you have down to the lab, the experiments must continue. That Batarian technology will be mine!"
"Loire! What the..." But before Garrus could finish his sentence, the back of his head pulsed with blinding shock. Loire hit him again, the butt of his pistol coming down on the softest part of the Turians fringe and as stars hovered in front of Garrus eyes he heard the human laugh and sneer.
"Might as well start with you Turian, you sick fuck!"
