A/N: The start of this chapter, Kurt's POV, is going back in time to when Kurt is in hospital, and Blaine is hauling him out to the car (his groggy, semi-conscious state). After that, it goes back to Blaine's POV to where I left off last time. Just thought I'd let you all know, in case there was any confusion. Thanks for the follows again! Hope you enjoy this...
Kurt's POV
It's feels as though only seconds have passed since I dragged myself away from Blaine and pack into the chair when I get the sensation of being lifted up into someone's arms. It reminds me of when I was a child; the dreary tiredness, not wanting to open your eyes, willing to fall back to sleep. My brain roars at me to wake up and stop being a burden to whoever the person is, but my body won't function accordingly. This suits me, so I just drift off into oblivion again; resting my head on what I assume is their chest.
I wake again, suddenly feel as though I'm about to fall. I snap my eyes open, but quickly close them tight again as the cold air stings them, not bothering to keep them open to focus on anything. Just let me sleep, I'm really tired. I tried to say that, but it even sounded garbled and distorted to my own ears. My bitter protesting seemed to be futile though, as soon I'm lowered down onto my feet.
My arm is thrown over the same person's shoulders, and I lean on it heavily. I keep my eyes squeezed tight, not liking standing up. My legs feel unhinged and loose, and the frosty air makes me want to sink back into my slumber again. Someone mumbles into my ear. My ears can't pick up a voice, but it seems to be male. It's too... Deep, and more masculine. Although saying that, my voice is high pitched, and I'm often mistaken for a girl. I settle for an unknown gender as I'm lowered into a seat.
I lean my head back, until I hear a door slam. Oh, I'm in a car. I slump my head to the side as the other person gets in. They pull the seatbelt over me, and I hear a click as it locks into place. Finally, I can go back to sleep. The purr of the engine starts, and I'm lulled back into the darkness, and I do nothing but embrace the feeling it holds. I only get woken once more by the same per of arms as I'm lifted out of the car. I reach up on hand and hold on to their clothes to try and gain some warmth that I'm losing from the outside again.
All too soon, my comfort and urge for sleep has dissolved, and I'm left with an empty, cold feeling. I peel my eyelids slowly, giving time for my eyes to adjust to the amount of bright light streaming through a window. I concentrate, although the more I do, the more my heart constricts. I'm in my old bedroom - my bedroom at my dad and Carole's house.
I sit up suddenly, trying to retrace my thoughts. The first idea that comes to mind, is that I could be dreaming, due to having all-to-real dreams before. I look around the room once more, and decide not to rule the option out. It seems too... Familiar, yet different somehow? I shake my head and start thinking again.
I remember yesterday going to meet Blaine, although the taxi driver took forever, and I was late. I then used the key Blaine mailed me to throw my bags into the trunk. Then when we met up, and he hurt himself when catching me when I fell. After that he got rushed to hospital, so when the doctor reassured me for the tenth time that he'd be fine, I then called his parents, slumped into a nearby armchair. His father called by later, dropping off a bouquet, passing me a steely, untrustful glare. His mother was more frantic, trying to pat his hair into place, but ending up freeing the ruthless curls further. She looked most nervous to leave, but I convinced her that I'd be staying with him until he woke up. Then they left around 1am, muttering excuses about sleepiness and work.
As soon as they'd left, I pulled the chair closer to his bed and crashed out beside him. I was woken briefly by a dream where I'd kissed Blaine, to then open my eyes to the same face leaning dangerously close (of which after that, it took so much self control to keep from lunging at him.) After a emotional talk, he then tackled me and we ended up cuddling to sleep in bed after he guilt tripped me into it. After I was sure he was out of it again, I dragged myself out and curled up on the chair again. It took me a while, but eventually I got comfy. Then it was all a blur.
I don't remember seeing Blaine again. I don't even know how I got back here, or who brought me. I remember a car ride, and someone's arms lifting me, but that's about all. Where is Blaine? My heart tightens further, racing at the same speed as my sour theories, the most prominent one won't leave my mind, no matter how many times I try to force it out. He's gotten worse. He's gone into a coma. He's dead. He's dead. Why else would I be here? I sit up, clutching my nears in panic.
I don't remember leaving, so it's entirely possible. My dad didn't know I was here, but I'm sure Blaine's dad had his number from service my dad did on it a while back. My dad wouldn't have woken me up either, he'd probably have ensured that I didn't see him because it was traumatize me. Oh God, what if I'm too late? Tears spring to my eyes, and they don't stop. Soon, I'm sobbing quietly into my knees. The rational part of me tries to force me to consider options, but I'm prone to assume the worst.
He'd told me he loved me. It wasn't said in so many words, but he'd told me he loved me. When he was explaining why he said Blackbird, my heart was continuingly melting, and I had an powerful ache to tell him I loved him too, but I was too scared; scared of getting hurt again. It hurts more that now I'd give anything to tell him, because now the options taken away from me, I want it even more. I'd rejected him! The pains starts anew, and I huddle myself even tighter.
"Kurt! Kurt, what's wrong?" The familiar voice interrupts me from my bubble.
Blaine. Blaine is standing there, at the door of my room, and I'm sat here blubbering. Confused, I look at him. Is this real? Or is this another one of those twisted dreams that are there to haunt me? If it's a dream, I want to wake up, and soon. If I'm not dreaming, it's either I'm going delusional from lack of sleep or he really is here. No, just appreciate the fact he's here.
He rushes over and sits down on the bed next to me, pulling me into his arms. I stay staring at him, wondering and scared. Eventually, I listen to my own advice and just relish the fact that he's here now. I slump my head against his shoulder and wrap my arms against his chest, not wanting to let go. He starts rocking me back and forward, singing softly into my ear. My breathing hitches as I realise its Somewhere Only We Know, so I spiral into another depth of emotion.
"Are you okay?" He breathed, skimming fingers across my jaw, sending chills down my spine.
""I had a bad dream, and I thought you were gone. I couldn't help it... I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling embarrassed that he saw my irrational side, words becoming truer to me when I said them out loud.
"Hey! Don't be sorry," He chides, "I'm here. I'll always be here for you, Kurt."
He then cupped his hand around my cheek, and I can't help but lean into it as he tilts my face up, craving his touch. I was about to snap again, but I then see his mouth part, and a faint sound of a sharp inhalation of breath catches my hearing. This is too much. I've just went through a small, unreasonable drama with myself when I thought I'd lost him, which has brought me to my senses. No matter what this guy has done, I love him, and I'm not sure I could manage going through things without him.
I release one hand around from his back and fist his t-shirt gently, bringing his warm, surprised and sexy lips towards mine. This is what I want.
Blaine's POV
His attack catches me by surprise, and I sit there motionless while he tries to force a response out of me. Where the hell did this come from? I'm dazed as he's gently sucking my bottom lip, full of tenderness. Then he sighs gently, releases his grip and eases back. What?
Finally coming around to my senses, I slip my other hand so that I'm clasping his head, and sink into the kiss with more force than I thought capable. He drops both arms so that they're hugging my lower back, bringing back the ghost contact between our bodies that I thought was lost. We stayed like this, tasting, remembering. It also seemed as if we were testing if we wanted to keep kissing, or break apart. I opened my mouth slightly, and when he pushed his head forward more and opened his, it was a sort of release for me.
I pushed him gently back onto the bed, and we kissed hungrily, yet at the same time with a passion that was indescribable. My hand slid down to his hip, the other remaining on his face. His had drifted up, and it felt like he was pulling my closer. I pulled back and grazed his lip gently with my teeth, feeling satisfied when I heard a small moan. I opened my eyes to see his face, and I saw that he was already staring at me, although he looked hesitant.
That's what did it for me. I stopped our kiss abruptly, but to take the sting out of the wound I'd just inflicted, I reached up and pressed my lips to his forehead, squeezing my eyes tightly when I did so. That was hard to do, but what I'm going to do now will be even harder. But it has to be done. I open them again as I rest my head on the pillow next to Kurt's, reaching out for his hand and running my thumb in circles over the back of his hand.
"That was amazing," I whisper contently, although I'm sure my small smile isn't as convincing by his rejected look, "But I need to know that this is what you want. I want you to think it over."
"I have thought it over too much; I can't bear to lose you again." I see the desperation in his eyes, but I avoid the impact as much as I can.
"You mean you think you've thought it over a lot. This is the first time I've seen you since..." My voice chokes, and he expression becomes guarded, "And that's what I want to avoid. That look that you have when you're hurt. I know I'm responsible for that, and you need to know if this is really what you're looking for. I can't change my past, or the horrible, despicable, rotten..."
"Blaine..." He interrupts, looking serious.
"Sorry... But I can change our future. I want you to think it over during your stay here. We can spend more time together as friends, hang out, go ice skating, that sort of thing."
I chuckle as I see him frown and jut his lip out.
"Not funny, Blaine Devon Anderson!" He continues pouting, before recollecting his expression. "Do you remember this time last year, when I said that it was out first Christmas together?"
"Yes," I look down, sorrowfully. "I said that it was the first of many."
There was a moment of silence before he replied again, "I hope it wasn't our last."
From this, I swapped from rubbing circles to gripping it. I sat up, and motioned for him to sit up, helping him as I did so. I released my entire grip on him, and he did the same, looking a little sad. I extended my arms, and raised an eyebrow as if to say, may I? I giggled at his smirk as he nodded, and I pulled him into an embrace.
"No more tackling me and catching my vulnerable side unless you're sure, okay?" I chuckled as I leant back, trying to lift the mood.
"As long as you don't faint and make me worry about you like mad again!" He laughed, nudging my shoulder with his playfully, so that I blush. Oh yeah. I wonder how things would've turned out if that hadn't have happened. "Don't you think you should change into different clothes? After all, what would the neighbours think?"
He falls into mock horror, making me bark out a laugh. It's fell into routine naturally, exactly how it used to be. I pick up a pillow as I stand up and throw it at him. It was that unexpected, that by time he'd brought his hand up to defend himself, it had already hit is face and was toppling over the side and onto the floor.
"Hey!" He protested, although his giggles made it impossible for him to seem serious, "Go home and get changed! And when you come back, I'm planning a secret pillow attack on you!"
"It's not a secret now that you've told me!" I chuckle as I run through the door onto the landing, deftly avoiding being hit by an aimed pillow.
Took me longer to write, weirdly! I was dying to continue this throughout today... But I had to wait til I got home, boo. The next chapter may be up tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on how much homework I get... Hope you enjoyed, as always; it was a kinda hard scene to write then normal! ~ JustAnotherUltimateFangirl
