Tom stood at the closed door of the third class carriage, his arm reaching through the door's open window to touch Sybil's outstretched hand. Even when the train's whistle blew signaling the train was ready to move the pair stood there, one on the train the other on the station platform, with their hands touching. It was only at the last possible moment as the train began its slow crawl away from the Downton railway station platform that the couple's hands finally separated.
He remained standing there with his head leaning through the open window, his arm raised in a static wave, watching his beloved fade away as the train picked up speed. Even when she was no longer visible Tom stood there looking back towards the railway station, the wind whipping across his face and blowing away the tears that fell down his cheeks.
For her part, Sybil stood at the end of the station platform watching Tom's train slowly disappear. She remained glued to her spot even after the train was long gone from sight, her eyes still focused on the path the train had taken unaware she was now the sole person remaining on the station platform. Finally inhaling deeply, Sybil turned to walk back to Downton.
xxxxx
Mary had awoken that morning after a fitful night's sleep that left her unrested. Her dreams, or had she really been awake, had been full of Matthew and Lavinia and Sir Richard. She remembered the unexpected feeling of Matthew holding her close as they danced alone in the great hall, drawing her into a kiss and then the guilt that flashed through her mind when Lavinia suddenly appeared at the top of the landing calling out to Matthew.
To add to her misery, or was it guilt, that she felt over Lavinia's sudden death Mary woke with the realization that this morning Sybil was leaving for Ireland. Looking at the clock sitting across the room on the fireplace mantel, Mary bolted out of bed afraid that she might miss seeing her youngest sister off. She didn't bother ringing for Anna instead choosing to dress herself in a simple gray dress the color of which matched her mood. After several mishaps she managed to wrap her hair into a messy bun.
Mary made herself presentable enough to leave her room and set off for Sybil's room. She pulled her hand away from the door knob, pausing at the closed bedroom door to take a moment to compose herself. Sybil had always been her one true ally, the one person who saw through the facade of coolness and reserve that Mary presented to the world. Mary flinched as realized that Sybil thought far better of her than Mary often did of herself. She had defended Sybil's decision only because she loved her but that didn't mean she actually wanted her to marry the chauffeur and run away to Ireland. Mary loved her youngest sister more than she had loved anyone else and she despaired thinking of what awaited her in Ireland.
Sybil wasn't in her bedroom but the suitcase and trunk still lying on the floor assured her that Sybil hadn't yet left Downton. Mary was surprised as she looked around the sunlight filled room that there was no evidence its owner was moving out other than the suitcase and trunk laying on the floor. The nightstands still held the framed photographs and a book lay on one of them as if waiting for the owner to pick it up and finish reading it. The vanity table still held the variety of porcelain bowls and boxes that always sat there as well as Sybil's comb and brush set.
Mary was halfway down the grand staircase when she met her father coming up the stairs. He too looked as if he had had a terrible night.
"Have you seen your sister?" Robert barked. Mary needn't ask which sister he was referring to.
Shaking her head no, Mary replied "Sybil's not in her room. I thought she might be at breakfast."
"No she hasn't been to breakfast." Mary detected a slight bit of vexation in her father's voice.
"Maybe she's with mama" Mary offered.
"Or she's just left without bothering to say goodbye." The vexation in Robert's voice was no longer subtle.
"Papa you know she wouldn't do that." Now it was Mary's turn to sound annoyed.
Robert shook his head. "I don't know anything about my daughter anymore."
xxxx
Tom didn't know how long he had stood there staring vacantly down the railway tracks towards Downton before finally turning around to take his seat in the train carriage. Luckily the compartment was empty so Tom didn't have the eyes of strangers watching him.
Sitting on the seat beside him was the leather bag that Sybil had carried with her to the Grantham Arms. Only it wasn't an overnight bag as he thought when he briefly first saw the bag laying on the floor of his room where Sybil had dropped it. It was only later, at the church, when Sybil handed it to him that he realized it was the type of bag that he had seen the lawyer Mr. Murray and some of the businessmen he had chauffeured from the railway station to Downton carry. It was the type of bag such men used to carry their paperwork and pens.
"You're a professional journalist now Tom and every journalist should have a bag like this."
He ran his hand across the gold lettering T Branson embossed on the camel colored soft leather. It was without doubt the finest piece of leather work he had ever owned. He briefly wondered if any of his coworkers would have such a fine bag or would it make him stand out. Would it make him seem to grand?
"I was going to surprise you with this on your first day of work."
Tom closed his eyes as his fingers lingered on the embossed T Branson, the vision of Sybil filling his mind. It was supposed to be one of his happiest days for he was returning home, home to his family, home to Ireland and she was supposed to be sitting here beside him. What she had said had taken him by complete surprise and while he understood her reasoning, truly he did, it didn't make it easier to accept.
"This hasn't been an easy decision for me Tom but …" Sybil faltered as tears began filling her eyes. "It's just that since last night … since Lavinia … I … I can't come with you today. I can't leave until I know Mama will be all right."
He felt as if someone had punched him in the gut.
"Tom" she called softly as she reached up with both of her hands to gently stroke the sides of his face. But Tom seemed frozen in place, his eyes seemingly boring through her. Then as she gently stroked his face, his eyes closed.
"I swear Tom I haven't changed my mind about us. As soon as Mama is on the mend I'll leave for Ireland."
xxxx
Sybil trudged back to the abbey. The long cape she had worn to visit Tom was no longer needed now that the bright sunshine had warmed the air but she didn't seem to have the energy to remove it. As she walked passed the oversized stone pillars of the entrance gate and the house came into view, Sybil paused to take in the sight of the grand house. Yesterday afternoon when she had met Tom here in this very spot she had thought today she would be on a train heading towards Ireland.
But everything had changed late last night. Lavinia's death had come so shockingly fast and so unexpected for she had never seemed that ill especially not like Mama who in the last day or two had seemed to fade in and out of consciousness. After watching Lavinia die Sybil had made her decision but she knew Tom would fear the worst that she had changed her mind or was having second thoughts and so it was that as she sat at her vanity she had thought of her grandparents' gift.
"When I was born my grandfather Levinson in America created a trust fund for me like he did with my sisters." She had gotten Tom to sit down beside her on the bench in the church's vestibule and listen to her.
"And my grandparents also bought me something." Sybil reached into the satchel she had just given Tom and brought out a small square box with a dark blue ribbon tied both lengthwise and crosswise around it. Tucked under the ribbon was what Tom thought was probably a note card.
Sybil didn't open the box but rather sat there holding it in her hands. Looking down at the box she said "In this box is a necklace and earring set that my grandparents want me to wear on my wedding day."
Sybil looked up at Tom and offered him the box. "I'm entrusting this box to you. When I walk down the aisle in Dublin I'll be wearing this jewelry."
Arriving back home, Sybil went directly to her mother's bedroom. As she had for the past couple of days, O'brien was sitting at her mother's bedside wiping Cora's face with a cold damp cloth.
O'brien flicked a glance at Sybil as she entered the room and then turned back to Cora. Even in that momentary glance Sybil could read the disdain for her on O'brien's face. Undaunted Sybil removed her cape and flung it over the padded bench at the foot of her parents' bed.
"How is she doing?" Sybil quietly asked.
Without bothering to look at her O'brien replied "About the same."
Sybil looked at her mother whose eyes were closed in a restless sleep evidenced by the way her head pitched from side to side.
"You can take a break O'brien" Sybil announced.
"I don't need a break" came the terse reply as O'brien continued wiping Cora's face with the damp cloth.
Sybil audibly inhaled. "I want to be alone with my mother."
Not accustomed to such an authoritative tone from this one, O'brien snapped her head in Sybil's direction, a smart retort on her lips. But seeing the steel in Sybil's eyes O'brien thought better of it. She sat the bowl of water on the nightstand and dumped the cloth in it before rising from her chair.
She waited until she was almost at the bedroom door before looking at Sybil. "I thought you would be on your way to Ireland by now" she smirked.
Sybil wouldn't give this odious woman an explanation so, hopefully sounding more cheerful that she felt, she replied "soon O'brien soon." Then turning to look at her mother she added "please shut the door behind you."
Sybil chided herself for being so short with the lady's maid especially since O'brien had been unexpectedly compassionate towards Cora. Since Cora had fallen ill, O'brien had rarely left her side.
Before taking the seat O'brien had just vacated, Sybil gently stroked her mother's forehead which felt no warmer than it had last night. Maybe that was a good sign Sybil thought, maybe I'll be able to leave here earlier than I told Tom.
Tom … at the thought of him Sybil closed her eyes and saw him as he stood there at the carriage's window, his arm outstretched and his fingers touching hers, his eyes boring into her as if he was memorizing her face.
"We'll know in a couple of days if she'll …" Sybil couldn't bring herself to say the words.
"Then I'll stay and we can leave together as we planned" Tom replied. "I'll contact the newspaper and tell them—"
"No!" Sybil interrupted him. "We've already postponed our leaving once Tom. They told you you have to be at the office the day after tomorrow."
Sybil stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. Her head against his chest, she could feel his heart beat. "This is our chance Tom. Our future. You have to be there. We can't let this job slip away."
His hands ran up and down her back while his lips brushed the top of her head. He knew she was right but it didn't make him any happier.
Sybil sat down wearily in the chair beside her mother's bed. Taking hold of her mother's hand she quietly said to the sleeping woman "Mama we haven't had a chance to talk about Tom. I need you to understand …"
A/N: Well it's only taken me seven chapters to get Tom to leave Downton alone. I hope you liked the way their conversation at the church played out in this chapter. So we've seen one unexpected turn. I promise in the next two chapters we'll see what else fate has in store and we'll learn the reason for the title of this story. As always thank you for the reviews. I also appreciate the follows and favorites.
