Author's Note #1 (again, sorry): I'm sorry this chapter took so long, but it was one of the more important ones and I wanted to get it right. Infinite amount of thanks to those who have put this story on their Favorites and/or Alerts lists and my reviewers. I can't tell you how much that means to me. I have decided to keep writing this story (for now) because it is simply demanding to be told. You're welcome. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: See it in the previous chapters.
Chapter 6: Promise
"Yes," she suddenly said, looking deeply into my eyes.
"Yes what, love?" I asked, brushing her hair back from her face.
"Yes, Edward. Yes, I'll marry you."
My hand froze on its path down her neck as she spoke the words I have wanted to hear since the day I met her.
"I'll marry you," she said again, my heart flying, "but I want to do something first."
I didn't say anything. My mind was still frozen in my surprise.
She let go of my hand, and it dropped into my lap. Her eyes never left mine as she raised her shaking hand to my chest, her cheeks a bright pink. She traced her fingers slowly down my abdomen, leaving a trail of flames. I shivered with pleasure, and a small smile appeared on her lips.
As her hand continued its path down my stomach, everything suddenly clicked into to place. Her hand trailing down my chest, her flushed cheeks, her words, all led to one thing. The one thing that was not possible between Bella and I. The one thing that I've wanted to share with her since I knew that I loved her.
I caught her hand in mine just as it reached my waistband.
"Bella," I said, struggling to make my tone disapproving. More than anything, I wanted her to continue, to be swept away into beautiful and loving Bella. "It's too dangerous. I could kill you."
"I don't think you could," she said, twisting her fingers through mine.
She could see that I was about to argue, so she continued.
"Not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to…More that, you don't want to hurt me…so much so that I don't think you ever could."
I shook my head, trying to dispel the seductive thought of making love to Bella. I didn't want to let my guard down, or she would win this argument for sure.
"It might not work like that, Bella."
"Might," she mocked. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."
"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"
How could she question the fact that I wanted to keep her as safe as possible? Her safety was, along with her happiness, the most important thing in my world. But what would I do when her safety and her happiness opposed each other?
I tried not to show the sudden dilemma warring in my head as she stared longingly at me. I wouldn't be able to deny her happiness for long. Who was I to deny her anything when she had given me everything I had ever hoped for and more?
"Please," she finally whispered hopelessly. "It's all I want. Please." She closed her eyes in defeat, waiting for my answer. As was I.
My breathing became ragged as she spoke the word that destroyed my defenses. Please. Such a simple, innocent word, yet, when whispered on Bella's perfect lips, it commanded my attention, made me want to grant her whatever she asked for. But how could I when that meant putting her life in danger?
She opened her eyes and seen the war I was struggling to hide.
"Please?" she whispered again, her heartbeat increasing. Her words tumbled out as she furthered her damage to my self-control. "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us try…only try. And I'll give you what you want," she promised hastily. "I'll marry you. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just…please."
How had she happened upon the one speech that would completely demolish my resistance? It was like she could read my mind and knew exactly what to say in order for me to change my mind. She had just promised to marry me, the one thing she could have possibly said to alter my unchanging mind. How could I possibly deny her now?
I tightened my arms around her, and placed my lips against her throat; her intoxicating scent further dazzling me. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you—and this is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"
"Then don't refuse," she suggested eagerly.
Unexpectedly, a creak of the stairs sounded, and both Bella and I froze. I had completely forgotten Charlie's presence in the house, but now he had my full and undivided attention as he walked up the stairs to Bella's room.
I'd better check on Bella, make sure she's okay, he thought. She had a tough night with Jacob ditching her and Billy putting the blame on her. I hope she won't react as badly again. I don't know if she or I can deal with that again…
I slid off the bed in one fluid movement, pushing Bella down in the next. "Lie down," I hissed, throwing the quilt on top of her. I ran to her closet and pushed myself in as much as I could, making as little noise as possible. I held my breath as Bella rolled to her side, breathing deeply as if she were asleep.
Charlie opened the door slightly, peering in.
As he took in Bella's sleeping form, I thought about the offer Bella had just made me. She had promised to marry me, be my wife, as long as I slept with her. I flinched at the thought of what might happen if I were to sleep with Bella. But, if I agreed, we could both get what we have always wanted. We could both be satisfied…
This thought was so tempting. Too tempting. I knew in this moment that I would not be able to refuse Bella when she beseeched me so. She wanted to make love to me as I did her. But if I succumbed tonight, who was to stop her from going to Carlisle and asking to be changed? Then I would have to wait longer to get what I wanted.
At least she's sleeping this time, Charlie's thoughts interrupted me. I hope she doesn't…react the same way. I'm going to have to talk to Billy about this. I'll go over to La Push after I get done tracking down those dogs.
I smiled at his obvious revulsion of the pack. He didn't know exactly what they were, but his reaction pleased me nonetheless.
He quietly backed out of the room, shutting the door softly. I didn't relinquish my hiding spot as he travelled down the stairs and out the front door. After I heard the cruiser back out of the driveway, I rushed back to Bella's bed.
I threw the quilt off of her and she sat up swiftly. Looking into my eyes, Bella seen the sudden indecision there.
"Please," she said again, her expression hopeful.
"Bella…" I whispered. I wanted to please her, give her anything and everything she wanted, but giving her this would put her in danger. From me.
Abruptly, she leaned towards me and pressed her lips to mine. I could feel her hesitation in the action, fearing that I would push her away.
I felt the need to assure her that I wanted this too.
I seized her face between my hands, and fire erupted across my palms as she blushed. I kissed her desperately as I warred with myself. Bella locked her arms around my neck, and, to my cold stone skin, her body felt warmer than ever. I trembled in pleasure and kissed her more passionately. My fingers slid into her hair, securing her face to mine.
I didn't stop kissing her. She was the one who had to break away, gasping for air. Even then my lips couldn't bear parting from her skin, they just moved down to her throat. Her pulse pounded fiercely under my mouth, and, despite the sudden proximity of my teeth, my horrid instincts were kept at bay. The only thing driving me at that moment was my sudden insatiable need for Bella.
She didn't hesitate as she unlocked her arms from around my neck and placed them at the collar of my shirt. She got through the buttons easily, and her blazing fingers traced patterns across my stomach, causing me to shiver under her touch. She was no doubt marveling at my beauty. How could she see beauty in a monster and not see it in herself, an angel?
She pulled my mouth back to hers, and I was grateful. My lips, my body, needed to feel her mouth moving against mine. There was no sensation I had yet to experience that gave me more pleasure than Bella's lips moving against mine. I slid one of my hands down her back to her waist, bringing her closer to me. I let my tongue trace carefully across her lips, memorizing their taste, her taste. This seemed to ignite her, and she pulled her hands from my hair and reached the front of her shirt.
I released her waist and captured her wrists in my hands. I pulled her arms above her head and gently pushed her down onto her pillow.
"Bella," I murmured, my lips at her ear. "Would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?" A part of my mind recoiled from the words as I spoke them, but I still forced them out.
"Do you want to do that part?" she asked, confused.
Yes. Badly.
"Not tonight," I replied softly. My mouth moved slower against her cheek and jaw, my mind set.
"Edward, don't—" she started to argue.
"I'm not saying no," I reassured her. "I'm just saying not tonight."
My spine tingled as I imagined that long-awaited night with Bella. However, I didn't think about the possible consequences of that night.
"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night," she said. The frustration in her tone was marred by her breathlessness.
"I wasn't born yesterday," I said, chuckling into her ear. "Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am—clearly—much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore…you first."
I smiled as she exhaled loudly, staring at me in disbelief. "I have to marry you first?" she asked incredulously.
"That's the deal—take it or leave it. I've already made the largest concession by far and away—I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."
I could see that she was about to disagree, so I wrapped my arms around her and began kissing her ardently. I tried to coerce her to forget her argument. Dazzle her. It seemed to be working as she pressed her warm body into mine eagerly, twining her fingers into my hair. She was making it harder for me to refuse her.
"I think that's a really bad idea," she gasped when I pulled away.
"I'm not surprised you feel that way." I grinned. "You have a one-track mind."
"How did this happen?" she grumbled. "I thought I was finally going to win—for once—and now, all of a sudden—"
"You're engaged," I finished. My dead heart inflated and felt as though it were flying at the sound of those words. She was engaged to me.
"Ew! Please don't say that out loud."
"Are you going back on your word?" I demanded. I pulled back to read her face, smiling. I enjoyed listening to her try to deny what she had already agreed to.
She glared at me, but I could tell that she was enjoying herself somewhat, too.
"Are you?" I urged.
"Ugh!" I groaned. "No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"
I grinned widely. "Exceptionally." Happy didn't even come close to how I was feeling at this moment.
She groaned again.
"Aren't you happy at all?"
Before she could answer, I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers again. I tried to influence her answer with my alluring senses.
"A little bit," she admitted when I let her breathe. "But not about getting married."
I pressed my mouth to hers another time. "Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I laughed in her ear. "Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?"
"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me."
"True."
I kissed her again, and kept going until my breathing became labored.
"Look, Edward," she murmured, her voice seductive as I kissed the scar on the palm of her hand. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."
"Not funny," I murmured against the skin of her wrist. The mere thought of Bella's blood spilling repulsed me.
"What I'm saying is this—I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone—how often does that happen?"
"Not tonight," I repeated.
"Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do." It was me I didn't trust.
Using the hand I was still kissing, she pulled my face back up to read my expression.
"Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end." She frowned and mumbled, "You always win."
"Just hedging my bets," I said evenly, hoping she didn't read the deception in my eyes.
"There's something else," she guessed, her eyes tightening. How could she see that clearly through my pretenses? "Are you planning to go back on your word?"
"No," I promised seriously, happy that she hadn't figured out what I was really hiding from her. She was so observant. "I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me."
She shook her head and laughed darkly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama—twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."
Could she read my mind? What other explanation was there for her discovering what I was trying to hide from her so quickly? I swiftly ducked my head down to kiss her collarbone, hoping to distract her. It didn't work.
"That's it, isn't it?" she gasped, laughing once. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle her laughter that followed.
"No, silly girl," I murmured against her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."
"Of all the ridiculous—"
"Let me ask you something," I interrupted hastily. I already knew her answer, but I needed her to say it out loud. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"
"Two," she answered severely without hesitating.
"All right. Maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."
"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?"
"It couldn't hurt," I answered, shrugging. "Just in case."
She glowered at me through narrowed eyes.
"Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."
"No, it isn't," she disagreed furiously.
"'Thou shalt not kill' is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."
My thoughts returned to the time when I had left Carlisle and his 'vegetarian' lifestyle. I had gone off on my own, insistent that my hunting habits would not be affected my conscious because I could simply pick out the monsters and kill them. It was a logical plan but had not worked out well because I did eventually get depressed. I eventually went back to Carlisle and his humane eating habits.
"Only the bad ones," Bella said, breaking through my reverie.
I shrugged. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone—"
"That you know about," she muttered.
I smiled at her interruption but continued. "And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."
"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder," she reminded me.
"The same principle applies—the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"
"One?"
"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted…my virtue is all I have left," I said, smiling widely.
"I lie all the time."
"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you."
"But what did you ever covet?" she asked skeptically. "You have everything."
I hadn't possessed everything. In fact, I had nothing in comparison to what I wanted now, what I needed now.
"I coveted you," I said, smiling darkly. "I had no right to want you—but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire." I shook my head in mock horror.
"You can covet what already yours," she informed me. "Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."
"It is. If it's too late for me…Well, I'll be damned—no pun intended—if I'll let them keep you out, too."
My whole body recoiled from the thought of living without Bella. Imagining a world without her was…impossible. She had to exist. But, if she did…die, then I hoped she went on to the place that was forever barred to me. The place where she belonged.
"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be," she vowed. "That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, all right?"
"Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"
I grinned, ecstatic at the thought of never having to lose Bella, of never having to leave her side.
"So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married," she said bitterly.
"Technically, I can't ever sleep with you."
She rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Edward," she said sarcastically, sending shivers down my spine. My name on her lips was something I had day-dreamed of constantly when I was away.
"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right," I said lightly, trying to distract myself from my dark memories.
"I can't believe that I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie…and Renée! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."
One of my eyebrows rose as she confessed her worries of rumors said about her. I didn't understand why she was so worried about her friends said about her. Did it really matter what they said when she was leaving soon and not returning? And Jessica had never really been a good friend to Bella, so why should her opinion matter?
Suddenly, she trembled, so I decided to ease her qualms.
"It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas—you can war old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official—that you belong to me and no one else."
"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," she complained.
I thought of the dog and his apparent…relationship with Bella.
"We'll see about that," I said, smiling gently. "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"
She swallowed loudly before she answered. "You suppose correctly."
I laughed at her martyred expression. "That's fine. I'll get it on you finger soon enough."
Her eyes narrowed. "You talk like you already have one."
"I do," I said, unabashed. "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."
"You're unbelievable."
"Do you want to see it?" I asked excitedly. I had kept my mother's ring in my pocket ever since we…moved. I had feared that I would never have the chance to give it to the person I loved more than anything, the person who it belonged to. But now, with Bella sitting here in front of me, I couldn't hold back my enthusiasm to give Bella what was rightfully hers.
"No!" she nearly shouted, crushing my hopes. I tried not to show my hurt but failed for she added, "Unless you really want to show it to me."
"That's all right," I shrugged, trying to hide my pain. "It can wait."
She sighed. "Show me the damn ring, Edward."
I shook my head, ignoring the warmth that flowed through me when she said my name. "No."
She examined my face for a long moment.
"Please?" she asked softly, tracing my jaw lightly with her fingertips. "Please can I see it?"
My eyes narrowed. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I muttered. But I lifted my waist up a little so that my hand could reach into my jean pocket. My fingers found the little black box and pulled it gently out. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and carefully placed the box on her left knee.
"Go ahead and look then," I said brusquely. I wanted to see my ring on her finger.
She reached for it slowly, clearly trying not to hurt me again. Her fingers brushed over it, hesitating.
"You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."
"I didn't spend anything," I assured her. "It's just a hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."
"Oh," she whispered, surprise coloring her tone. I was pleased with her reaction; she understood the significance of this ring. She pinched the lid between her thumb and forefinger, but it didn't open.
"I suppose it's a little outdated," I said mockingly. "Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?" I would buy her anything as long as she married me.
"I like old-fashioned things," she mumbled and my heart soared as I heard the truth in her words. She hesitantly lifted the lid of the inoffensive black box.
Nestled into the black satin, Elizabeth Masen's ring sparkled in the dim light of the moon shining through Bella's window. The face was a long oval, set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold—delicate and narrow. The gold made a fragile web around the diamonds.
Unconsciously, she stroked the shimmering gems.
"It's so pretty," she whispered quietly.
"Do you like it?" I asked eagerly.
"It's beautiful," she shrugged, feigning a lack of interest. "What's not to like?"
I chuckled. "See if it fits."
Her left hand tightened into a fist.
"Bella," I sighed. "I'm not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."
"Fine," she grumbled.
She reached for the ring, but my long fingers beat her there. I took her left hand in mine and slid the ring into place on her third finger. I held her hand out, and we both examined the oval sparkling against her skin. My feet felt as though they were leaving the ground as I beheld my ring on Bella's finger. I was flying.
"A perfect fit," I said indifferently, trying to hide the wild emotions that smoldered inside me. "That's nice—saves me a trip to the jeweler's."
As always, Bella seemed to hear something deeper under the casual tone of my voice as she stared up at my face. Her eyes searched mine, trying to decipher my expression.
"You like that don't you?" she asked suspiciously, fluttering her fingers.
I shrugged my shoulders, feigning lack of interest. "Sure," I said, still nonchalant. "It looks very nice on you."
Her eyes stared into mine, and I gazed evenly back, fighting the emotions that threatened to break through. Suddenly, as I felt her place her hand unthinkingly on top of mine, I couldn't hold back the victory I felt. My face broke into a jubilant grin as I realized that Bella was mine, that I could keep her for all of eternity.
Her scent, her eyes, her face, pulled me in to press my lips against hers. I kissed her, and my elation broke through to her. Her lips responded to my ecstasy, moving more urgently against mine while her hands twined into my hair roughly. I sighed blissfully into her mouth and pulled her closer until I could feel her warmth against every line of my body. My head spun dizzily when I moved my mouth to whisper in her ear—but her breathing was just as ragged as mine.
"Yes, I like it. You have no idea."
She laughed, gasping a little. "I believe you."
"Do you mind if I do something?" I whispered, tightening my arms around her. I needed to do this properly.
"Anything you want."
I released her and slid away.
"Anything but that," she complained.
I ignored her, taking her hand and pulling her off the bed, too. I stood in front of her, hands on her shoulders, face serious.
"Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me."
"Oh, no," she gasped as I slid down onto one knee.
"Be nice," I muttered.
She took a deep breath.
"Isabella Swan?" I looked up at her, my eyes soft but still intense. "I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"
She paused, and my cold heart ached as I anticipated her answer. Even though she had already agreed to this, I felt anxious as she looked down at me with her smoldering chocolate eyes, deciding how to phrase her response.
I held my breath as she opened her mouth to answer. "Yes," she whispered, and I was flying again. It felt as if everything in the world was perfect in this one moment.
"Thank you," I said simply. I took her left hand in mine and kissed each of her fingertips before I kissed the ring that now belonged to her.
Author's Note #2: This is one of chapters that I enjoyed writing the most because of Edward and Bella's unwavering love for one another. This was also one of the chapters that took the longest to write, but I wouldn't shorten it if I had the chance because it's perfect the way it is now. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try to update soon.
Chapter 6 song: "Giving It Away" by Mae (again, yay!). Now for all of you dirty minds out there, it's not what you think. Shame on you! It's about how Edward knows that "The best is still yet to come/And I don't want to leave" and that "Without you (Bella) I'm giving it away" meaning without her, he'll be giving his happiness/life away. Also, it says "You've asked me to stay forever/Well, you know that I would, I would do anything" and "It feels like I'm so lost without you." I think it's a really great and meaningful song to this chapter and story so check it out!
