A/n: hm...sry it took so long. I was having trouble. I really want this to be an amazing story for you guys, and you guys said last chapter was amazing and I wanted this one to be equally amaizng...not sure if I succeeded. I don't want it to be a cliche or boring or lose it's appeal, so...chapter 7. Tell me what you guys think. Losing appeal or no? anyway! on to better things. I would like to thank: Findmebroken (for the great critisism), allycat1186, QuEEnSeRb716, Curly-Q, twentytwopointeightmiles, Sailor-Lit, dtng4ever, MielAngelEyes, musicormisery4105, ScarsLeft2remain, Loridhhp, JessRoryYunaTidusforever, Kassandra27, missthang06 (I'm Sorry I made Tristan as the bad guy, I hope you can forgive), Lucille Mabel, Good2Know, gilmoregirlsalwaysforever, XoPri24, and Jeremy Shane. Thank you for all the reviews! and everyone else who didn't review but read. Also, if you like Jess/Rory I have 2 other stories...one similar to this and another one very opposite. hint hint lol. CHapter 7.

Chapter 7: A Small World

Getting a little erratic here
And i don't know who to trust
I guess they got a way of reading my mind
I guess i gotta adjust
Got my arms they flip flop flip flop flip
Got my head on a spring
Well i thought i got u on my side
I haven't got fucking anything

"Rory! Rory! Turn that music down!" Lorelai yelled walking into the overly loud house.

She could have sworn she heard that damn music a mile away. A freaking mile! She was going to go deaf if that damn kid wasn't going to turn down that damn music.

Im just a face in the crowd
Nothing to worry about
Not even tryin' to stand out
Im getting smaller
and smaller and smaller
And i have nothing to say
Its only taken away
I just behave and obey
Im afraid that i'm starting to fade away

Rory Gilmore ignored her mother as she walked in. She was perfectly comfortable spiraled out on her bed. Her undone homework on the floor. A book next to her, finally finished. She was staring up at the snow white ceiling that seemed to be mocking her. Her face was blank and the music wrapped around her, comforting her and shielding the world from her, like a mother should. Like her mother didn't.

I cannot see through the cracks
when im pressed up on the wall
Im not looking to stand up real high
Id be happy to crawl
I think i'm losing my grip
But i can still make a fist
You know i still got my one good arm
That i can beat
Oh that i can beat myself with up with

"Rory!" Lorelai yelled again angry that the loud music was also making her clumsy.

Rory and her had not talked in almost two weeks. She had come home to this loud obnoxious music since. That was also the only noise. All Rory would say was 'hi' and 'bye'. Lorelai was slowly feeling her heart breaking. She spent most of her days at Luke's being comforted by the flannel coffee man.

"Rory!" Lorelai yelled again kicking angrily at a stray box that had leaked out of Rory's room.

Im just a face in the crowd
Nothing to worry about
Not even tryin' to stand out
Im getting smaller
And smaller and smaller
And i have nothing to say
Its only taken away
I just behave and obey
Im afraid i am starting to fade away

"I'm just a face in the crowd. Nothing to worry about. Not even tryin' to stand out. I'm getting smaller and smaller and smaller and I have nothing to say." Rory sang softly still staring at the ceiling.

She was debating wither to turn the music up even louder. This had been a routine since their last fight at Luke's. Rory didn't want to be a cliche phasing her mother out, but she didn't have anything to say to her, so why start now? She'd live with Lorelai till her father finally sent for her again. She paused letting that sink in, but what if he never did?

And for what it is worth
I really used to believe
Maybe theirs some great thing
That we could achieve
And now i cant tell the difference
Dont know what to feel
Between what ive been trying to hard to see
and what appears to be real
Fading away—

"Hey!" Rory yelled angrily when Lorelai finally came in and slammed the stereo off.

"I was listening to that!"

"So I heard. And everyone from Peach street on did too. What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Nothing." Rory yelled finally getting out of bed.

"For the last 2 weeks you have come here and listened to loud angsty music after loud angsty music, so the whole of Stars Hollow can here it, it's like having one radio station for this town and it's being directed by Rory Gilmore."

"Oh, you mean there isn't one radio station? Golly gee! How amazing that we might have two!"

"Funny. But I have been through the whole teen angst John Hugh's thing. It's very overrated Rory and it takes a lot of time cons—"

"Thanks for the advice Dr. Laura! Oh wait, would you prefer Dr. Phil instead? Will you give me love advice too? Tell me, is my soulmate on I really wanna know who I'm gonna marry. See, there's this boy, let's call him...John. I like him a lot, tell me Dr. Phil, will we marry?" Rory said sarcastically.

"Boy, you are just downright hilarious, Rory."

"I do try, Lorelai."

"I didn't give you up."

"I don't want to hear this! Or know!"

"Rory, please listen!" Lorelai pleaded putting her hands on Rory's slender shoulders.

"Rory, I went into labor and I loved you! I loved you—"

"if you haven't noticed your using past tense. What's the matter lose all the love for me when you saw me as a devil baby?"

"Your not a devil baby!" Lorelai protested shaking her head.

"I'm tired of fighting."

"Funny. I'm not."

"Rory. Sit. Listen." Rory took a minute to glare then sat against her better judgement.

"I had you...it was complicated. I got sick. My parents told me that they were giving you to Christopher for a few months till I got better." Lorelai paused taking a breath. "I got better, but it took longer then expected and...Chris didn't want to give you back. I denied it and told myself I would get you back eventually I just needed to get some money for a case...it didn't work out how I imagined. I'm sorry."

Rory was quiet a few minutes then got up and wondered out the front door slamming it hard.


"And for what it is worth. I really used to believe. Maybe theirs some great thing. That we could achieve.And now I can't tell the difference." Rory murmured walking along the road.

She wished she had brought her Ipod.

She needed a distraction. She didn't want to deal with what Lorelai had said. It was...too hard. She wanted to run from her mother's words, but all they did was repeat themselves inside her head. She seriously needed her Ipod.

Stupid, Rory why couldn't you have brought your Ipod, Rory thought kicking a rock along the side of the road. She then sighed and touched her back pocket where she usually kept a book.

No book for Rory.

No Ipod for Rory.

No distraction for Rory.

No fun for Rory.

"Ace!" Rory turned around and groaned.

"I so do not need you right now!" Rory yelled walking faster.

"Rory!" Logan yelled again.

"Can't you leave? You were so eager a few months ago!" Rory yelled crossing her arms over her stomach.

"Rory! Come on! Come back! Or at least slow down." Logan yelled speeding up and falling into step with her.

"Logan!" Rory yelled angrily stopping in the town square.

"I have been here for almost 3 weeks Rory! Talk to me!" Logan said grabbing her arm.

Rory yanked it back.

"Remember the last time you touched me? My arm was all bloody! As a matter of fact it still has long gashes. I'd stay away." Rory snapped stepping back.

"Rory. Come back." Logan yelled rolling his eyes.

"You ruined my life in New York! And now Stars Hollow! Everyone knows."

"They would have found out another way." Logan said rolling his eyes.

"I didn't want anyone to know! It's my personal business! My own freakin personal business and you spread it all over freaking Stars Hollow!" Rory yelled.

"Calm down, Ace." Logan said shaking his head slowly.

"Leave Logan. If you seriously cared about me at all just...leave." Rory whispered looking into his brown eyes.

"I care. But I miss you, Ace." Logan said staring into her icy blue eyes.

"I don't care." Rory said shaking her head.

"I don't care." she repeated again.

"Is it because of that guy? Jess or whatever?" Logan asked.

"Leave him out of it." Rory said rolling her eyes.

"I saw him with some blonde." Logan said smirking.

"Yeah? And?" Rory asked crossing her arms.

"They were kissing. Aren't you guys going out?"

"He broke up with her." Rory said confidently tightening her arms against her chest.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did they break up?"

"Well...he said he was doing it for sure a few days ago."

Logan smirked. "I saw them kissing a few minutes ago. Call me when you want me back. You know my number."


"Jess!" Rory yelled running into the diner and up towards the apartment upstairs. She ignored Luke and ran all the way upstairs.

Logan's words were still ringing in her ears. Gone were her mother's truthful words, now her head was replaying Logans, they stung almost as much as her mother's.

"Jess!" Rory yelled again bursting through the door.

"Jess!" Rory yelled surprised when she saw him sitting on the couch reading a book.

He stood up and walked over towards her surprised.

"What's wrong?" he asked walking over towards her.

"Did you break up with Lindsey?" Rory asked breathlessly.

He looked at her a little confused. "Why?"

"Logan—"

"Ah yes, Logan." Jess said shaking his head and stepping away from her.

"Did you break up with Lindsey?"

"Did you break up with Logan?"

"We're broken up." Rory said exasperated.

"Then—"

"Lindsey! Break up? Yes? Or no?" Rory asked rolling her eyes.

"No." Jess said quietly.

"Why not?" Rory asked softly.

"You said you would. Your doing that games thing again!" Rory complained.

"I'll do it."

Rory shook her head.

"You won't." she said quietly.

"I will."

"Jess, if you haven't done it yet, you won't. Obviously you don't care enough." Rory said sighing.

"I don't know why I do this. Broken promises." Rory said shaking her head.

"Stupid song."

"Rory." Jess said taking her arm.

"Sorry I wasted your time. In fact, forget you ever met me." Rory said sighing.

"Go! Be happy with Lindsey." Rory said walking out of the apartment and down the stairs.

She walked and walked and walked till she finally realize she didn't know where she was. She sat down on a nearby fallen tree and suddenly tears came and she cried. She cried so hard, for everything, for everyone, for self pity and ignorance and especially for missed chances.

She eventually whipped her tears on her shirt and tried to fix her appearance in a flowing river nearby.

"Rory. He's just a boy. You've lived through 'just boys' all the time. He's no different." Rory muttered staring into her broken reflection.

She tucked some hair behind her ear and sighed.

Stars Hollow wasn't working out, like, she imagined it. She imagined—against her better judgement—everyone would want to be her friend for being a 'big city' girl. All the boys would flock to her because she was mysterious and experienced. She would have no more heartbreak and tons of friends. Her mother and her would be best friends and...she'd meet a special guy, not a guy like Logan or Tristan, but one who understood her, not destroyed her. Of course, even a small town like Stars Hollow had it's broken promises.

Rory stood up and stretched looking around her. She had somehow wondered into the woods, although this time she had no idea where she was, and it was getting dark. She sat back down again on the rock and looked around wondering which way she'd come from. She refused to panic.

"Let's see...let's see..." she murmured as the wind whooshed by.

She shivered involuntarily then stood up deciding to keep on the move. She knew she was going to start panicking soon, but she hoped the panic would hold out for a little while longer. She reached for her lighter and then her cigarettes, only find one, she groaned in annoyance. She lit her last cancer stick, like, it was her last hope. Taking a long drag she looked around her and started walking faster.

A dark thought crossed her imaginative mind; would she die? She tried to laugh it off, but knew that was probably possible. Then she did the unthinkable and started singing an old song.

"Do you really wanna see my scars? Do you really wanna see my razor scars? If I let you in—you might destroy my heart. Ooo Razor Scars ooo." she hummed softly.

Automatically she felt better.

It was after all her song, her clutch that got her through rehab. Granted, cigarettes helped too, but this song, her song, was much bigger. It got her to stay alive, to want to get better, to keep going.

Razor Scars.

"Do you really wanna see my scars? Do you really wanna see my razor scars? If I let you in—you might destroy my heart." Rory sang louder and eventually a smile graced her features.

She walked slower and slowly came out of the dark woods walking her way back home, to resolve and deal with life. It was time to stop running away.

(A/n: so...? o! I forgot the song, in the beginning is by Nine Inch Nails.)