Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Damn, I need to come up with something that I can own...
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STUFF 'N THINGS
PG13
DMP's Idea of Fun (PT 6)
Previously:
Sasori: How many more villains are there?
Pein: Two. And then it'll all be over.
Sasori: And then I'll have DMP again…
Zetsu: I'll be fine. Go. You have another villain to kill before you can hold DMP again. Kill them.
Sasori: -hesitates- Be careful. -runs off with others following-
Zetsu: -nods before pulling a sword and hacking off the mummy's hand-
Mummified Shikamaru: HAHAHAHA! -beetles start crawling out of wrist-
Zetsu: That's exactly what I want! -pulls on bandage until it's all unraveled; stares at a pile of dust and beetles and then opens mouth in horror; a beetle bites the underside of his wrist and he falls forward; the beetles all swarm him, slowly eating him alive until he's nothing but bones-
Konan: What do you mean?
Sasori: He's dead. I know it. And I feel really bad about it.
Deidara: Does that mean the others are dead too, yeah?
Sasori: Probably.
Pein: You knew it would happen and you let them go anyway?!
Sasori: Everything comes with a cost!
Konan: The cost isn't worth it for us. -she and Pein walk off and promptly get killed by two swords that fall after they set off a trap-
Hidan: I guess…Maybe there's a chance that I'll die so I can be with Kakuzu again…
Sasori: Thanks, all of you.
Hyper: At least I'll die with some pride. -steps around Pein and Konan's bloody heads that had rolled to her feet-
--
Deidara: Where's the big boss, yeah?
hyper: Stop calling it that! It freaks me out!
Deidara: Well, it is the big boss, yeah.
hyper: La la la la la la la la…
Hidan: Is that it?
Sasori: Oh my god, it is. -stares at a big monster with fangs jutting out of its mouth and giant claws and twenty eyes- Holy shit…
Deidara: It looks like an oversized purple fuzz ball with fangs, claws and eyes, yeah.
hyper: It looks fuzzy, but it doesn't look like it wants a hug…
Sasori: How do we kill this thing?
Deidara: Why are you asking us, yeah?!
Hidan: I'll distract it, you go for the chest. -lunges at monster-
Sasori: Hidan! Wait!
hyper: Where's its chest?!
Deidara: He's going to die to give us a chance, yeah. Let's take that chance. -slides under monster and pulls out sword; shoves it into where the chest should be but isn't-
Monster: -roars; smashes Deidara with a claw; shakes Hidan off its back – throwing him into a wall-
hyper: DEIDARA!! -breaks into sobs-
Sasori: Deidara should have killed it! Why isn't it dead?! -looks over monster and sees the hearts on its back- It's like Kakuzu! Its heart is on its back!
hyper: I'm going to avenge my baby! -jumps onto monster and attempts to stab the heart but gets throw into a wall-
Sasori: I'm the only one who can do it now…-jumps onto monster and jabs the sword into its heart before getting swiped off, getting all his bones broken- Ugh…
DMP: -appears, not as a ghost- Sasori! No…
Sasori: I saved you…
DMP: But you're going to die!
Sasori: It's all part of love…
DMP: I never wanted this.
Sasori: It's not your fault. It never was.
DMP: -looks around- Is everyone dead?
Sasori: -nods weakly and then starts coughing up blood- I love you…-dies-
DMP: No…-looks around again and finds Deidara's sword; picks it up and thrusts it through her- I love you too…
--
Kakuzu: Woah. That was amazing. -pulls off 'virtual-reality' goggles-
DMP: It's like a Romeo and Juliet thing only…more modern and dramatic… -pulls off goggles-
Tobi: Tobi's death was brutal. -pulls off goggles-
hyper: -pulls off goggles- I almost felt my death. That was so weird.
Pein: -pulls off goggles- That was awesome. Thanks for the idea.
Everyone else: -pulls off goggles-
DMP: No problem. I figured everyone needed to get into the Halloween spirit anyway.
Sasori: O.o
DMP: Are you okay, 'Sori?
Sasori: My death…was so…vicious. Why'd I have to die like that?
DMP: I don't know. Maybe it ran out of nice ways to kill everyone.
Konan: None of the deaths were nice!
DMP: -shrug-
Zetsu: I died with honor. And that was an awesome movie type thing.
Hidan: Why did I get such a sappy line? "Maybe there's a chance that I'll die so I can be with Kakuzu again." Ugh.
Kakuzu: You'd so say that if I died.
Hidan: Would not.
Tobi: Tobi's going to have nightmares for weeks.
Itachi: It was like a horror movie that we all stared in.
Kisame: He's right. It looked exactly like a horror movie…
--
Everyone: -staring at TV with intense expressions-
DMP: Oh my God…That was so fucking creepy…
hyper: I can already feel the nightmares coming on…
Hidan: That was fucking AWESOME!
Kakuzu: Of course you'd say that.
Konan: Did anyone notice that all the characters looked exactly like us?
Pein: Yeah…Like the guy with the blue haired chick looked like me.
Sasori: And the guy who was in love with the girl who killed herself in the end looked like me.
DMP: The girl in the end looked exactly like me…
Tobi: Maybe they're doppelgangers…
Zetsu: I don't know…
Itachi: They looked too much like us, Tobi.
Kisame: Yeah, but they weren't as evil.
hyper: Deidara, are you okay?
Deidara: Giant spider…lots of blood…I get squished, yeah…
DMP: Oh brother…And I thought I was bad.
Sasori: Do you really think that it was a coincidence that they looked like us?
Konan: I hope so. That's really scary.
Pein: Are you scared?
Konan: Stop trying to be the brave guy here. You know you're going to be the one who ends up getting a few hours of sleep because you had nightmares all night. You can't fool me.
Tobi: That was scary.
Hidan: But the guy who looked like me got a really shitty line: "Maybe there's a chance that I'll die so I can be with…Kakuzu…again"…Oh my god…
Zetsu: That was no coincidence!
DMP: They said our names…
Sasori: A lot…
Itachi: That is scary.
--
LAM: -tossing the tape in the air and catching it with one hand- Hehehehe…That was a lot of fun. Totally tricking them like that. And they'll never figure out how it happened…-catches tape again and walks off snickering-
A/N: FINALLY! The end of the Halloween Special and it's after Halloween!
Time for even more random shit...
Please review!
