Rifiuto: Non Mirena

She reached out, grabbing his wrist as he moved past her. "Tim, I won't bite... okay, I nip, but... but not hard. You don't have to sleep in the guest room. This is our bed, you can sleep in our bed."

He studied her for a moment, before pulling away. "I'd... rather not. Not tonight, if that's okay."

Slowly, Ziva nodded. "Sure. Just tonight?"

He hesitated momentarily before nodding once. Satisfied, she let him go, watching as he slipped out of the bedroom, leaving her alone in the dark. She understood, she did- waking up from a coma, discovering marriage, with a baby on the way, and then the very real possibility that he would share his bed with a woman he was supposed to remember...

It's his biggest fear, waking up in bed married to a stranger.

She wrapped her arms around her midsection, forcing herself to take deep breaths. There was no need for her to get so upset. So he was sleeping in the guest room down the hall, at least he wasn't still in the hospital, still in that coma that had worked to destroy their marriage, and left her curling up in bed for the last three, four months, with only their baby boy growing in her womb as a reminder of the man she loved.

You can stand one more night.

After several minutes, she lay back down, curling around her belly-

She wasn't even aware of the sobs escaping her throat as the stress of the last few days finally took its toll. She barely heard the door open or the footsteps, but his voice caused her to choke on a sob. "You okay?"

Slowly, she pushed herself up, glancing over her shoulder. "I'm fine." She sniffled, knowing that was far from the truth. "I just... I'm fine."

He sighed, taking a seat beside her as she sat up. "Look, I'm sorry. I know we're married and we have a baby coming but... I don't know you. Or... at least... not like I used to... not at all, come to think of it... and I don't... I just..." He sighed, frustrated.

"I understand, Tim." She replied, reaching out and taking his hand. "I just... I have spent the last twenty weeks without you in my arms and... this bed... this house... it was so empty without you... and I guess that I just... I want to wake up to you beside me again, like we used to do, before the accident."

He seemed to think for a moment, before, "Well, would it help if I... slept with you tonight?"

She nodded, laying back down under the covers. "Thank you."

He was silent as he slipped under the covers on the other side of the bed. They didn't touch, instead keeping the middle of the bed between them, even though Ziva longed to move over and snuggle against his chest like she used to. She knew that doing that this early in Tim's recovery would send him fleeing for the guest room, if not the sofa downstairs, and so kept still, resting her head on her arm.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you and the baby."

Her gaze moved up, catching his in the darkness. "Not your fault, Tim. It was that ben Zonah who caused the accident. He took you away from me... and Amal... and all we can do is help you to regain your memory."

"I'm still sorry."

She smiled softly. There was the man she knew, the one she'd married. The sensitive, caring gentleman who took others' burdens on as well as his own. The man she'd fallen in love with, the one who'd given her their son. "It's okay."

"When are you due?"

A soft sigh escaped her throat as she calculated quickly in her head. "August... early August, Jeanne thinks. We could be welcoming a fall baby, if he decides to come later, though." She chuckled softly, reaching down and trailing her fingers over her belly. "It's not uncommon for first-time mothers to deliver late."

"This is our first?"

She looked up at him, surprised by the confusion in his gaze. "Absolutely, ahuva. I do not just have babies with anyone. We wanted to be... secure in our marriage before we tried and... we did not even have to try."

"So... the baby's a surprise?"

"Complete surprise." She thought a moment. "We were just having fun... and, one day... we hit the right combination, or the correct pattern or whatever it takes to make a baby and..." She shrugged. "We made a baby."

He sighed, watching her. "We made a baby." The statement was soft, a reaffirmation of a fact he'd been presented with, one he'd store away for future reference. They settled into silence again before he asked, "Do you... know how you're going to... to have the baby?"

She giggled softly, unaware of the affect the sound had on him, how it seemed to relax him, even if only briefly. "How I'm going to give birth, you mean?"

"Yeah."

Her teeth slid out to worry her lower lip before she whispered,

"I want a natural birth. No medication. At home. At the birth center if necessary, and only at the hospital if absolutely necessary. I don't like hospitals, so I want to spend as little time there as possible. There is no way I'm going to spend sixteen hours in a hospital bed, pushing this little one out of my body with nurses telling me when I can push and for how long."

"So you're a... natural birth advocate."

She shrugged. "Not so much an advocate as... a woman who saw what bad hospitals can do to babies." He opened his mouth to ask, but thought better of it; clearly she didn't want to elaborate. "Which means, when it comes time for our little Amal to enter the world, I am going to be here, at home, with Jeanne, and Sarah and... you." Holding me in your arms, telling me that I'm doing a good job, helping me guide our son into the world-

"You want me here when the baby's born?"

"Why wouldn't I, Tim? You're his father. You're my husband, you are the only man I want with me while I-." But her explanation fell on deaf ears, as she realized that he'd fallen asleep halfway through her rant. Eventually, she followed him.

When she woke up the next morning, she found herself alone.