SLIGHT SMUT ALERT! SLIGHT SMUT ALERT!


She was laying on her back and looked up at the ceiling on her chamber. They hadn't put her back into cryo. She was glad about it. She had time to think.

The look on his face. It had twisted something inside her guts and she suddenly felt very very sad.

Of course, she had missed on purpose. Wait.. did she? She sat up. Ruffled her hair in confusion. Groaned. She even resorted to hit her head against the wall to get something out of it.

It didn't help. So she just sat down on the bunk and thought.

A name. There was a name inside her head. She reached out for it and before she knew, it rolled over her tongue. "Steve..." she clasped a hand over her mouth and her eyes widened. As soon as it came, it went and again, she was left alone.

Darkness. Inside and out. She would kill him. Now way she would let him control her.

Death would be a relief. Either hers or his.


Steven could feel a shiver running down his spine. He sneezed and Natasha looked at him confused. "Uhm.. bless you?", she wasn't even sure about that.

"No no... it's fine. It was... someone said my name", Steven said and scratched his neck sheepishly.

Bucky... maybe it had been her. He could think of nobody else who he would get shivers and sneezes just from having his name spoken.

Of course there where some people who would manage that with their pure existence... (CoughcoughTonyStarkcoughcough) but he didn't want to think about it now.

He shouldn't to say the least. They were planning on how to approach the helicarriers and how to de-risk them.

It was a pretty short meeting. They had gone through their initial plan a few times, making sure none of them forgot their part. It was easy.

Steven was supposed to hold a speech to SHIELD's remaining non-corrupted employees to warn them.

Fury's assistant would watch over the helicarriers statuses and inform the others.

Sam would join Steven to help him access the helicarriers.

Natasha would try and ward of Winter Soldier. Bucky.

"Natasha... please don't kill her, 'kay?", Steven was visibly uncomfortable about that issue. Probably because he knew, that if Natasha would agree, she'd be one option short.

With Bucky determined to kill Natasha (they tried to find a solution as to why Bucky was so fixated on the Black Widow but couldn't discover anything) Natasha would be inferior to the female supersoldier.

Just because she had promised to let someone live who so desperately lusted after taking hers. Steven knew that and still he asked for that.

Natasha furrowed her brows, evaluating her chances against a supersoldier with intend to kill but agreed eventually. "Still, I hold my life dear. So if I have no chance of getting out without killing her, I'm afraid I'll have to break that promise."

Steven cringed but he had to make amends. After all, he asked for something big and he knew from the start that the woman would not leave him off the hook until he gave her something in return.

They hadn't talked about what Steven had realized the night prior. And he was glad they didn't force him to tell. It would bring his request into a whole new light. Besides, he didn't need nor want anyone to know how he felt. But since Natasha refused to stay in one room to sleep, he had his all to his own.

When he went to sleep that night, after a long and frustrating day of planning, going through their plan like a million times and making amends, requests and pleas, he sure as hell was tired. He flopped down on his mattress and a loud and long sight escaped between his lips.

Lips that felt chapped and he ran a finger across them. The skin had started to peel off and he could feel it rip beneath his fingers. It pricked but he didn't really mind.

When he sunk down into a small cushion they had found somewhere and closed his eyes, he saw her.

Problem was, he didn't just see her. He tore open his eyes, looking frantically around the otherwise empty room. He had been so sure to feel breath against his burning skin.

But the room was empty aside from the mattress beneath him, a small dresser somewhere in the back and him. He sunk back down. Closed his eyes again.

There it was again. He felt the tickling of breath against his neck and suddenly he was hyper-aware of his surroundings.

There were no steps, no audible breathing or a heartbeat. But that tickling feeling lingered on his skin. He grabbed behind him. There was nothing. Slowly Steven closed his eyes and there was her face.

"Bucky...", he whispered beneath his breath, sadness and love and sorry in his voice. He realized that he was daydreaming. Not the one where you just kinda space out and aren't aware of your surroundings.

It was the kind of daydreaming, his mother had told him about. You'd see what you most wanted to, what your heart's most desperate wish was. And of course his was Bucky.

Steven dreamed of her laying beside him, his arms around her, she stroking his face ever so softly. Her face looked he same as back then in this dreadful winter. He'd lift a hand, careful and anxious at first, but growing more confident as he touched her cheek. He dreamed about tugging one streak of her long brown hair out of the waves of it on her back and playing around with it. Curling it around his finger and smelling it.

He had that sweet sweet scent of Bucky in his nose. Summer and flowers and grass and just Bucky. He could almost feel her touch on his skin. His mother had warned him about sinking too deep into those dreams. You could get lost in them forever, never returning to reality. So he tried to cut it.

It worked much to his own surprise. But with waking up from such a pleasant experience, he suddenly felt.. himself. Or rather a particular part of his body coming to live. Much to his own displeasure.

oh no! He sure as hell ain't gon' doing that here and now! He thought about the person who he wanted to be taken care of by and that all but helped. He groaned as he felt his pants growing more and more uncomfortable and restricting.

Steven cursed under his breath while he stood up to check if the door to his part of the catacombs still squeaked. It did. Loud and clear. He'd be able to hear it without problems.

And so he turned around, pulled his mattress to a part of the room that you couldn't directly see upon entering and turned out the lights. The only sound close was the shuffling as he got rid of his way to limiting clothes.

Yeah, sure. He had a mission to do and save a few billion lives. Didn't mean he wasn't just a man with the feelings and needs of one. (When was the last time he did that? Oh right. It had been before he froze for a decade)

He felt himself twitch in anticipation and once again he closed his eyes. Pulling up a picture of naked Bucky in his mind, he went all crazy and was over the edge and cumming in an embarrassing short amount of time.

Steven felt the heat of embarrassment creep up on his neck and ears. Here he was, idol to many kids and teens, respected for who he was and what he did. A grown ass man, still resorting to masturbating. Well, in his defence, the woman he truly wanted wasn't just out of his reach. She felt the exact opposite as the last time they met, she had wanted to fucking kill him (That was until he said her name. But she didn't even remember him.)

"So much for being an idol huh? I know what she would say if she was here. 'C'mere Steve. They will never know' my ass. And she would laugh. Probably because I was too far away to notice her walking in on me fucking masturbating", he rambled. Not even this made it better.

Nor Natasha suddenly standing right next to him with a mixed expression. Half amused to do exactly what Steven had been rambling about, sour because... she didn't even knew.

Steven yelped at her sight, growing beet red in mere seconds and scrambling as far away as possible.

"Never knew the great Captain America was just a man as any other", Natasha teased him. No response gained. "C'mon, put on your suit and get up loverboy. Time to move out", she said and turned around.

Steven frowned. How long had he been captured by his dream? As soon as Natasha had left the room, he let out a long and loud scream. He got dressed (using his white shirt to clean up. It was white anyway...) and moved to meet the others.

He saw Natasha's smug grin before he even entered the room halfway and immediately felt like turning on his heel and run. He tried to hide his blood flushed cheeks best as possible and went to stand beside Sam. Waves of embarrassment flooded through him and when he turned to face the Black Widow, he knew she was never going to let him life that down.

"Concentrate on our mission. Safe the helicarriers and shut their target-system down. Then you get out of there as fast as possible. Got it?", Fury reminded them of the plan one last time and everyone nodded.

"Move out!", the black one eyed man barked and they followed his orders.