H50H50H50

Danny's eyes felt heavy, but he wasn't really sleeping…at least he hadn't thought he was.

He could hear the machines near his bed as they beeped and whirled and he could hear voices, sometimes distant and sometimes in the room he had been waiting in and he could hear Steve's soothing voice from time to time, but he hadn't felt sleepy…not really…

More like relaxed and comfortable, warm…heavy.

The curtain at the end of the room whooshed opened and Danny could hear Steve shifting forward in his seat and tightening the hold he had on Danny's hand.

He hadn't known how long ago it had been since Nick had given him something to help with his anxiety, which, by the way, had worked great, but he felt like it should be time, if not past time for his surgery to have started, so he managed to pry opened his eyes to see that Dr. Kalani had come into the room.

She was dressed in purple scrubs, her hair pulled back neatly into a bun and was greeting Steve with a hand shake, turning her attention toward him once she realized that his eyes were opened, saying, "hello, Danny…are you feeling comfortable?"

He thought about opening his mouth to answer, but decided it would be easier to just nod his head instead, looking to his left to see that Steve had stood and was looking down at him too.

"That's great…I'd like to go over the consent forms and see if you have any questions. Do you feel awake enough?"

He pushed up the bed a little, using his arms and feet, knuckling both eyes, saying, "Ye..yeah…"

"Great," she pulled the rolling tray closer and positioned it so that part of it was over his lap, where she laid out some papers, grabbing the pen that was tucked into her pocket.

She leaned slightly over the other end, one foot perched on the bar under it, pointing at what paragraph she wanted him to notice with the pen.

For the next several minutes she talked about the procedure itself and any complications that could arise.

He signed each form, confirming that he understood what she had explained and what life saving actions could take place if any such complication were to occur, but she reassured him, "it's a straight forward operation...it will only take about thirty to forty-five minutes from start to finish."

He nodded his head again, his tongue coming out to moisten his dry lips and he wished that he could have a drink of water.

Steve squeezed his left hand once again, reminding him that he was there and Danny turned to look at him, to offer his own small smile of reassurance.

He was scared, he could admit that to Steve and to himself, but the sedation they had given him numbed those feelings and at that moment, he wasn't feeling so worried.

His doctor gathered up the papers and told him, "I like to give my patients a choice for anesthesia.

This procedure can be done with a local, which means that you will be in a twilight sleep and not be able to feel anything from your belly button down.

I usually recommend the local because you don't have to be intubated and there are less side effects than coming out of a general anesthesia, but some people would prefer to be knocked out.

In either case, you will need a urinary catheter.

If you go with the general, we won't intubate until you are under and in most cases the tube will be removed before you come fully around…you might just have a bit of a sore throat after."

Danny thought about what she had explained, remembering back to when he was just ten years old and had to have his appendix taken out.

Then he had been put under and when he had woken up, he remembered being hot and then cold…so cold and then feeling sick to his stomach.

It was no fun throwing up, but especially with stitches, so he said, "I think I, ah…would like to go with the local."

"Okay," Dr. Kalani moved the tray away, sticking the pen back into her pocket. "The Anesthesiologist, Beth Henry, will be coming in a few minutes to get you ready and I will see you in there."

Danny gave her a weak smile and listened as Steve thanked her before retaking his seat at Danny's side, asking him, "how are you feeling, baby? Are the meds helping?"

He shifted over to his side on the narrow bed, pulling Steve's hand to his chest, saying, "they are helping, but having you here is even better."

Steve leaned closer, kissing him softly, strong fingers massaging Danny's neck after their lips parted.

Danny heard the curtain at the end of the room rustling, but he hadn't cared who was there, waiting until Steve pulled away a bit to glance at someone new waiting patiently by the foot of the bed.

Steve gave him a tiny peck to the corner of his mouth before leaning back in his own chair and the newcomer introduced herself, telling them, "I'm Dr. Henry. I've come to administer your epidural."

He told her, "I'm ready," and after that things moved more swiftly.

With the help of Steve, she got him sitting up with his legs dangling over the edge of the bed, his upper body curled over a few pillows, Steve standing in front of him, one big hand wrapped around the back of his neck, the other kneading and petting his right shoulder.

She untied his gown and pulled it opened, pushing it off his shoulders to hang over his arms and he couldn't help the shiver that racked his body, but he hadn't known if it were from the cool air of the room or his own apprehension.

Steve's fingers dug in a little more, reminding him that he wasn't alone and Danny unclenched one hand from the pillows he was clutching to grab a piece of Steve's soft, blue, tee.

"I'm going to use a few cotton balls and soap to clean your skin…it might be a little cold."

He nodded his head, not trusting his voice, as something queasy worked its way through his stomach, not able to help the jerk of his body as something cold swiped across the skin of his spine.

"You're going to feel my fingers and then a few little pinches as the numbing medicine goes in…just take a few deep breaths and try to relax as best you can."

Fingers pressed into the bony ridges of his spine, and then something sharper dug in.

He hardly had time to flinch before the next bite came and then another.

She ran her hand over the places where she injected him, taking away some of the sting and he supposed, working the numbing medicine in.

"Just rest a few minutes and then I will be introducing the catheter."

"O...kay," he managed, relaxing his hold on Steve's shirt, loosening his fingers.

Steve leaned over a bit and he lost his grip, but hadn't minded since Steve was pressing kisses to the top of his head, whispering in his ear, "you're doing great, baby…almost done."

He had little reference for what was coming next.

When Rachel had been in labor with Grace she had refused all drugs, but he had vaguely remembered seeing a video in one of their birthing glasses and thought that there was no way a needle that long could go in between the vertebrae of someone's spine and thinking about it now made him shiver and sweat…he could feel it gathering along his hairline and over his forehead.

"You're going to feel a little pressure," she warned, before she started.

He felt Steve's hand tightening on his neck and then more than a 'little' pressure and then a zing of electricity shot down his right leg, making it jump.

"You're doing great…arch your back a little toward me..."

He tried to do as she asked, rolling forward on the pillow and touching his head to Steve's belly and took in a big breath though his nose, holding it.

"…good…now, breathe slowly."

Soon, the deep pressure and little jolts down his leg had stopped.

He heard her move away, pulling tape from a roll and using the tape to secure the tube up his spine.

"All done…could you help…"

Steve's hands went to his shoulders, supporting his upper body and the pillows fell away as his legs were maneuvered back onto the bed and he was laid down flat.

Once he was settled and Steve was pulling the covers up to his chest, she told him, "your legs should already be feeling heavy…in about fifteen minutes you'll be numb enough to be moved to surgical." She fiddled with the tubing that extended beyond the piece taped down to his back and over his shoulder and then told them, "I'll be back in a little bit to check on you before they move you."

He nodded, suddenly feeling very cold, so cold that his teeth started to chatter and before she stepped out she grabbed an extra blanket from a cabinet and covered him, telling them, "it's normal to feel cold after an epi…just try to relax and it will pass in a few minutes."

Once she had stepped out, Steve sunk back into his chair, taking up Danny's hand again, but he couldn't tell if it were he or Steve that was trembling, so he looked to his partner, taking in the sheen of sweat on Steve's brow and the paler of his skin and shook the hand he held and said, "it's okay, babe…really, I'm okay."

Steve swallowed, then nodded, telling him, "I know…I just hate this so much…"

"Me too…" but before he could say more, Nick was back.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we need to get your cath in before they move you."

Danny had hoped that they would wait until he was in the operating room for this bit, but he sighed and said, "okay," paying more attention to Steve then what Nick was doing.

He couldn't feel his legs being moved, only the rustling of covers at his chest as he was manipulated into the position the nurse had wanted.

Steve leaned in closer and petted his hair, so Danny closed his eyes until it was over.

It hadn't taken very long when Nick had announced, "all done," and he opened his eyes, a little surprised that he hadn't felt a thing, not even pressure.

His left leg was close to the edge of the bed and he saw that gravity was taking it over, but before he could say anything, Steve had grabbed his calf and pushed his leg back up and under the covers and still, he had felt nothing.

Dr. Henry returned as Nick was cleaning up and he had realized that he wasn't shivering anymore.

She smiled at him as she lifted his covers and felt around his belly, telling him, "tell me when you can no longer feel my hands."

Somewhere around his belly button he lost track of her gentle touches and told her so.

"Okay…seems like we are ready to roll. I'll be right back."

When she stepped out, Steve stood and clung to the raised rail with both hands.

Two men came then, so Steve leaned over the rail and kissed him gently on the lips, softly saying, "I'll be right here waiting for you…"

Danny couldn't help the tears that pressed the back of his eyes, because, of course Steve would be waiting right here, of that, he had no doubt.

Another gentle kiss dotted his mouth and then they were pulling him away, bed and all and once they got to the door, Steve's hand dropped away and Danny felt adrift, like his lifeline had been severed, but Nick patted his arm and told him, "Steve will be right there as soon as you get back…don't worry," and he wondered if maybe he had been given something through his IV that he hadn't seen, because he felt warm and heavy again…safe.

The trip down the hall seemed long and drafty.

The sheets blew up as they turned a corner and Danny felt gooseflesh rise on his arms, but the next turn brought him to a set of double doors and a brightly lit room beyond.

It was small, a little cluttered and nothing like operation rooms looked like on TV.

A few people wearing scrubs and masks greeted him, taking his gurney in the rest of the way and then strong hands were lifting him over to the other table and his body was pulled down the bed and arranged.

He looked down as his legs were parted and someone had slipped long sleeve like material over his feet and up to his thighs and then each leg was rested in a support that someone else had attached to the end of the table and his legs were covered with ugly green sterile drapes as was his chest and torso, leaving only his groin exposed.

Someone else took his left arm and pulled it away from his body, strapping it down to an extension from the table and his blood pressure cuff inflated, meaning that it had been hooked back up.

Dr. Henry leaned over the head of the table, affixing an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, telling him, "relax…take deep, steady breaths now."

He heard a radio, or maybe a CD since Bruce Springsteen went from singing, 'Brilliant Disguise,' to 'Tougher than the Rest', and then the familiar voice of Dr. Kalani as she spoke about him to her colleagues, before moving closer to him, telling him, "we're going to get started in just a minute," a sympathetic smile reflecting in her light brown eyes.

He nodded his understanding, his eyes wandering around the room before looking up at the ceiling tiles.

Cool air caressed his skin and when he looked down, his doctor was standing between his spread legs, her body angled to the right, but the anesthesiologist put her hand on his forehead and pressed his head back to the table, reminding him, "nice and steady breaths…just close your eyes and relax."

He felt a flush of warmth up his arm and over his chest and his eyes closed on their own and the music and machines muddled together to create a soothing back ground of white noise.

Every once in a while, his surgeon would speak to him, but he found it hard to open his eyes or answer, but he thought he may have nodded a time or two and then somewhere along the way the background noises faded and his eyes grew even heavier and he relaxed into a drugged sleep, only stirring sometime later when Dr. Kalani patted his chest and told him, "we're all done, Danny. Everything went like expected, so get some more rest and we'll talk once you are back to your room."

He thought he nodded, but maybe not.

He felt his body lifted and cool air caressing his skin and then more beeping and whirling and another, deeper voice, telling him to sleep and so he did.

H50H50H50

Steve paced the length of the room, back and forth, back and forth, counting his steps as he went.

He managed nine before he would have to turn and work his way back to the curtain that blocked the view of the hall.

At one point, he had pushed the pink, paisley, material aside, but all around him were other curtained off rooms with people waiting for their turn to go under the knife or with people who had just returned from surgery…all these people around him…hurting…and, and sick…

A little boy, maybe a little older than Charlie, has walking up the hall toward him, pushing an IV pole along in front of him and his dark hair was missing in patches…his legs and arms so skinny and his eyes were sunken and hollow but when he looked up at Steve as he approached, he still smiled and gave a little wave, even though he had seemed sick…so very sick.

Steve tried to smile back, to return the wave…

And once the boy had passed, he quickly pulled the curtain shut, practically running for the chair and sank down, seeing Danny in his mind's eye.

Danny skinny, a bag of bones.

Danny's hair falling out in clumps.

Danny's eyes, haunting and sunken.

His once bright and mischievous smile gone…replaced with something brittle and hopeless.

"Just stop it," he told himself, "stop it right now…Danny's going to be fine…he will…"

Steve took in a steadying breath and slowly released it, shaking his head, trying to knock loose any useless thoughts and worries.

"Fine…he's going to be fine."

He stood to resume his pacing, because at least that gave him some purpose…he could count his steps until Danny returned and they both were told that Danny was going to be okay, but as he stood, the curtain was pulled back and Nick came into the room.

"I just wanted to let you know that Danny is in recovery and that everything went as well as can be expected."

Steve sank back into his chair, expecting a 'but', but Nick only said, "he should only be there an hour or so and at some point, Dr. Kalani will be along to let you know any news."

"Thanks," Steve said, resuming his pacing as soon as Nick left, letting the regimented feel sooth his frazzled nerves and trying not to think the worse.

After a few more circuits, he decided that he had seen enough of the small room, so he stepped out into the hall, only this time all the curtains were closed or mostly closed and no one, sick or healthy walked the halls.

He went around the corner to the nurse's station to tell the woman behind the desk, "I'm with Danny Williams…I've been told he's in recovery for at least an hour, so I'm going to step out…"

She nodded, typing into her computer, no doubt looking up Danny's chart, asking, "Steve, right?"

"Yes," he said.

"We have your phone number so if we need to reach you before he goes back to his room we'll call."

"Thanks," he called over his shoulder, even more eager to escape the ward.

First, he went to the waiting room, not wanting to go too far, but the place was packed with people waiting to hear about their loved ones, so he went through the double doors that led him to the elevator, that led him to the lobby, and out to the side walk where he finally felt he could breathe again.

Once there, he found a bench and sat, resting his head in both hands, feeling his heart start to settle and shit, he was getting soft.

He had never had this sort of freak out over any of his other men before, but that was just it. Danny was so much more than just one of his men, his work partner or even a friend…yes, he was all those things, but so much more and god, Steve loved him…loved him so much that just the thought…just the tiniest chance of losing him was causing Steve to spin out like he had never done before.

He had never ever felt this way…about Cath…or anyone else he had ever dated.

Danny was…well, Danny was it for him.

He would never want anyone else.

So, he sat and calmed himself…felt the hot sun on his back and lifted his face to feel it there too.

People came and went, walked right by him, not even giving him a second look, which must have meant that he could pass…no aneurysm face, as Danny liked to say, so he stood, walking back toward the hospitals main entrance, thinking he could grab a sandwich from vending and maybe some coffee…could go back to Danny's room and wait more patiently and calmly for Danny to return.

Just as the automatic doors parted a phone jingled in his pocket and from the ring tone, he knew it wasn't his.

He stepped to the side of the lobby, pulling out Danny's phone to see Grace's beautiful face on the display.

Taking one more calming breath, he answered, hoping that his voice was steady and normal as he said, "Grace face…"

"Uncle Steve?" she asked, no doubt wondering why he was answering her dad's phone.

And as he didn't want to worry her he answered, "Yup…your dad's a little busy right now, so I picked up when I saw it was you…is everything okay?"

She sounded a little relieved when she answered, "Yeah…just that…mom has a conflict in her schedule for tomorrow and asked me to call to see if dad can pick up Charlie today from school…she said we can switch weekends if he wants…I had a in service day today for school and then practice for cheer later and am staying over Amelia's tonight, but if dad wants to switch, he can pick me up at noon tomorrow."

"Umm…"

"It's okay, Uncle Steve…I don't expect an answer right now…just let dad know and tell him to call mom if he can't switch and she will work something out."

"Yeah, sure…I'll tell him as soon as I see him, but I'm sure he can work something out…"

"Thanks, Uncle Steve…tell Danno I love him and will talk to him later."

"I will…as soon as I see him, I'll tell him…have fun tonight Grace…"

"I always do…bye."

"Bye…"

Talking to Grace always made him happy, so he felt a little lighter as he glanced at his watch and decided to forgo his sandwich and coffee…he could wait until he filled Danny in and work out a plan so that Danny could have his kids with him this weekend.

Taking the elevator back up, he bypassed the waiting area and went back to the small room and the empty chair to wait.

He had only started to thumb through a magazine when Danny's doctor stuck her head into the room.

He stood, even though she told him, "It's okay, Steve…have a seat."

He sank back down as she came the rest of the way in and told him, "I just wanted to tell you everything went well, the tumor was a bit bigger than I expected, but it looked to still be contained inside the organ."

He nodded his understanding, wondering if that would mean Danny's treatment would be different than what she had told them, but she went on, "Pathology has already called to confirm its malignancy, which we expected and they found some abnormal cells in some of the blood vessels in the organ itself."

He nodded again, but could feel the blood draining from his face, because even though they had strongly expected the tumor to be cancerous, Steve still had held out some hope that it wouldn't be, even if only subconsciously and the abnormal cells...what the hell did that mean?"

"It'll take ten days to two weeks for the Histology report to come in and I still think we are in good shape, but at this point I would like to prepare you both for the possibility of a course of Radiotherapy…I'll get together some pamphlets for you and I will go over everything again once Danny is fully awake."

Steve couldn't seem to find his voice, so he nodded once again, clearing his throat a little and then saying, "I ah…okay…should I ah…"

"He's on his way back here in a few and he's still pretty groggy, but once he's more alert, I promise to go over everything with him…you don't need to worry about that, okay?"

"Ah, yeah." He dried swallowed and then nodded one more time, "yes, okay."

"Okay, good…I'll be back around in a few hours."

Now he stood, telling her, "yes, okay…we'll see you in a few hours."

She patted his shoulder before turning to go and once she was gone, Steve sank back into the hard chair, willing the threatening tears to go away, knuckling at his eyes.

He didn't have the time to wallow…

They had known that some sort of treatment beyond the surgery was a possibility and now that it was confirmed, they could work out the next part of the battle plan.

He straightened in his chair when he heard a squeaky wheeled bed being rolled down the hall toward him.

The curtain was pulled back and the bed maneuvered around so that the head came into the room first.

Danny lay peacefully unaware and Steve suddenly hoped that he would sleep for a while longer yet.

As the men locked the brakes on the wheels, he couldn't help but to step closer, to run his hand over Danny's forehead and mussed up hair, fingers scratching as Danny's eyebrows raised and then scrunched together.

Steve leaned over and kissed a frown away, telling him, "it's okay, baby…you're okay."

Nick joined him as the orderlies left and the nurse went about hooking Danny back up to some of the machines and then rooted through the cabinet for something while Steve continued to pet Danny's arm, to take up his hand.

He noticed that Danny's legs were opened and slightly bent just as Nick opened a package and twisted and snapped the cold pack inside.

He told Steve, "we're going to use ice packs for several hours and anti-inflammatory meds to help keep the swelling down in his scrotum…because of the manipulation from the surgery he will have some swelling and bruising, but the ice will help and he will be leaving in the morning with some mild pain killers too."

Steve watched as the nurse lifted Danny's blanket and removed a spent pack before replacing it with the new one.

Danny shivered but he stopped once the blanket was back over him, so Steve sank into the chair to wait.

After Nick recorded a blood pressure and took Danny's temp, he said, "they will leave his caths in for a few hours.

The epi will help with his post op pain but once he is weaned off and it's removed, I'll take out the urinary cath and we'll get him up and walking around.

He'll get lunch and dinner and if everything looks good, she'll spring him in the morning."

Nick shucked his gloves and continued, "we'll give him mesh briefs before we get him up, but it'll be a good idea to pack a pair or a jock strap and some loose-fitting shorts for his trip home."

"Okay," Steve said, having already made a list of things Danny would need over the next few days and had planned to make a stop at the store on his way home later tonight. "I'll take care of it."

Nick nodded, smoothing the blanket out over Danny's legs before saying, "He's sedation is wearing off and because it was a twilight sleep he can probably hear you if you want to talk to him…of course he may be sleeping on and off…he's already come around a few times in recovery, but he probably won't remember that...feel free to turn on the TV if you want. The controller and the call button and the bed controls are all on the same remote." Nick attached the controller to Danny's pillow and called over his shoulder as he stepped out, "call if you need anything."

Steve told him, "thanks," and then went back to rubbing Danny's arm.

He stayed that way, staring out the window while he spoke, soothing words, but mostly nonsense since Danny was unlikely to remember anyway.

The sky was overcast now, the bright sun from earlier tucked behind some dark and threatening clouds.

Giant drops of rain started to pelt the glass as Steve watched on.

Danny had been back in his room for about an hour when he started to stir.

He rolled his head on the pillow and frowned, licking dry lips, making a tiny, needy, sound that had Steve squeezing his hand again, asking, "are you waking up, baby?"

"Ohhh…" Danny mouthed, dark eyelashes fluttering against his pale cheeks.

"That's it, baby…open those baby blues."

Danny opened his eyes, but they hadn't seemed to be tracking just yet, so Steve leaned over and kissed his cheek, the tip of his nose and the corner of his mouth, pulling back to see those blue eyes slightly crossed, but at least Danny was smiling when he licked his lips again.

"Need a drink?" Steve moved over to the tray table and filled the cup with one of the juices that Nick had left when he had come to replace the cool pack and take Danny's vitals, holding the straw to Danny's mouth, saying, "here, take a drink."

Danny swallowed with a grimace and then looked around with hooded eyes.

"If you're still sleepy, rest some more…I'll still be here waiting for you when you wake."

Danny opened his mouth, but closed it again, then reached around, patting at the pillow, looking for something.

Steve realized he was looking for the bed remote, so he unclipped it and handed it to Danny, watching as he adjusted the bed so that he was sitting up a bit more and then he looked down to his lap, a puzzled expression on his face.

Steve asked, "are your legs still numb…you should have most of the feeling back by now…they're going to take the catheter out of your back soon."

"Weird," was all Danny managed before he closed his eyes again, but they popped back open a second later and he said, "did it…did it go okay…has the doctor been in yet?"

"No," Steve said, even though it was a partial lie. She had come to speak with him but hadn't been in to see Danny yet. "But she should be coming by soon…how are you feeling, baby…anything hurt?"

Danny seemed to be taking stock, but then shook his head and said, "no pain…not really…I'm still a little numb and…cold?"

"Yeah, baby…they have a cold pack down there to help with the swelling, but I think that's the last one you'll need for a while."

"kay," Danny yawned again, but shook his head as if to cast off his sleepiness.

Steve hadn't known what else to say at this point but then he remembered Grace's phone call, so he told Danny, "Gracie called, said something about a schedule conflict, Rachel asked if you could get Charlie today and switch weekends," he hurried on to say, "I can get Jerry to pick him up and watch him at my house and I'll watch him over night and see if Kono can take him to the beach in the morning when I come to pick you up…Grace needs picked up at noon, so it's doable…"

Danny seemed to be thinking about it, but nodded, more alert, he said, "let's just stay at mine this weekend…easier…less fuss that way and the kids won't have to pack…"

"Yeah, baby…sure…I'll arrange everything and by the time Charlie gets home and Grace is picked up, you can be resting on the sofa…I'll make lunch or we can order out…rent some movies…"

Danny cast him a suspicious look and Steve hoped his face was in neutral, because the last thing he had wanted was for Danny to start asking him questions, but apparently, his face hadn't given him away, because Danny just nodded and shifted back against the pillows.

A second later Dr. Henry came in and announced that she would be removing the tube from Danny's back.

This time Steve helped her roll Danny to his side and within seconds she had peeled the tape back and pulled the whole thing off just as if it were merely a band aid.

Danny hadn't even flinched.

He watched as she peeled an actual band aid and stuck it over the tiny puncture the needle and tubing had left behind.

"You'll have some soreness, but if you feel any sharp pain around the puncture or if you develop a headache or fever, let the nurse know."

Steve rolled Danny to his back and tucked the blankets around him as she finished typing something onto the computer and they both thanked her before she left.

"Everything feeling okay back there," Steve asked when he noticed Danny was biting the corner of his bottom lip…a sure sign that something was going on.

But Danny nodded, telling him, "I think so…I can feel both legs now, but my right hip area is still pretty numb."

"Well, they did say it could take several hours for the drugs to leave your system…"

"What are we talking about?" Nick asked as he pushed the curtain aside and come into the room.

Danny told him about the numbness, but the nurse hadn't seemed too concerned, echoing what Steve had said. "Should have all your feeling back by later afternoon, which is when we'll be getting you up and moving, but first I'm going to take out the urinary cath, check your vitals and order your lunch."

Steve went back to his chair as Nick pulled the sheet up to Danny's hips and the blanket back to his thighs.

He watched as Danny glanced down and then looked away again, so he asked, "what's good for lunch around here," which got Danny's attention and Nick talking as he pulled on his gloves.

"Well," he said, hands moving just at the corner of Steve's vision, since he made the point to look at Danny's face while Nick worked. "There's chicken or turkey or tuna on whole wheat…a side salad and soup and Jello."

"Yum," Steve snickered, but before Danny could even complain, Nick was dumping tubing into the red waste can and taking off his gloves.

"It's not so bad," Nick told them, "but dinner is usually better and if you tolerate lunch well, Steve can even go down to the cafeteria for you or order out…as long as you stay away from high sodium and fat, that is…but, I have a menu for you, which I will bring in once I get your vitals."

It took only seconds to check Danny's temp and get the last readings off the machine for his blood pressure.

While Danny was occupied with the check, Steve stepped to the corner of the room and called Jerry, asking him to pick up Charlie at three thirty and take him to Danny's until Steve arrived in the evening.

Thankfully he hadn't asked any questions beyond inquiring about Danny's injury, which the team had been informed, so they all still thought that Danny had tweaked his knee and pulled a muscle, and would continue to think so until Danny informed them otherwise.

He asked to speak to Kono, who readily agreed to pick Charlie up for a morning and take to the beach and to collect Grace at noon and bring both the kids back to Danny's house.

With that bit of business settled, he went back to his chair, hearing the tail end of Nick's insistence that Danny use the urinal until all the numbness had gone and they got him up to walk later in the day.

Danny sent him a pleading look, but he just threw up his hands and shrugged his shoulders, signaling that Danny was on his own for this one, but secretly pleased that his lover was starting to seem like his old feisty self.

"Not negotiable," Nick was saying, going as far as to hang the thing by its handle from the bed rail, making Danny turn an interesting shade of pink.

"Well, don't leave it there," Danny whined and Steve chuckled, but Nick just rolled his eyes and picked the thing up and shoved it under Danny's blanket, near his left hip.

"I'll leave it here, out of sight and when you need to use it, be sure you do."

Danny blow out a breath and hadn't looked happy, but Nick turned on his heels and winked at Steve as he stepped out, having won that round with his hard-headed patient.

Later lunch had arrived.

Danny had gone with the turkey and side salad and veggie soup and nibbled on the offering while Steve sat back to watch, his own belly rumbling since he had skipped breakfast and forgone his mid-morning snack.

"Babe," Danny said, pulling apart his sandwich, taking tiny bites, but he hadn't looked too interested in his food anyway, "go get some lunch…I promise not to go anywhere while you're gone."

It wasn't that he though Danny would go for a stroll or anything, but he was worried about missing Dr. Kalani's visit and he wanted to be there when she explained things to Danny.

"I will…" he stalled, checking his watch again. "I just…" and before he could finish his sentence, Danny's doctor came into the room, with a fistful of pamphlets.

Steve watched as Danny pushed his food away and stiffened, as if he were expecting the worse and Steve felt guilty for not just telling him sooner…on his own, just the two of them, where Danny could react and grieve however he wanted.

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