Chapter Seven

When Alexis instructed her on the last turn and Kate finally got a look at the ranch she grinned and felt all hints of negativity leave her. It wasn't that the place was anything different than the dozens of other ranches that they had driven past; it was more of a feeling of finally arriving. The anticipation was palpable as she turned up the long driveway and headed through the archway that proudly proclaimed that they had finally arrived at 'Gilded Tree'.

Castle directed her towards the back of the large house and had her park near a log cabin. She could see that there were several others scattered through the tree line each nearly identical, but far enough from each other to be private. It was the sight of those log buildings that seemed to bring home the fact that she had actually agreed to this without fully thinking through what it meant.

"Did you call John?" she heard Castle ask through her racing thoughts.

"Yep." Alexis responded, sounding proud of herself for having taken care of everything.

Kate's mind was informing her very loudly in that moment that Alexis had not taken care of everything, because nowhere in their discussion was there been a mention of sharing a cabin with them. She was surprised it hadn't occurred to her to ask.

She just assumed that wherever they boarded their horses was probably near a small city where they stayed in some hotel or other and it would be fine. The problem, however, was they had spent the last several miles passing only farm houses and she should have known that something was wrong.

Feeling a little dazed, she followed their lead and stepped out, watching as Castle took in a huge lung full of air before releasing it with a giant sigh and an even bigger smile. "I always forget how amazing it is out here." he said wistfully.

"Well," Alexis called over to him with a stern tone, "Don't get all swept away, the bags in the trunk aren't going to haul themselves."

The words snapped Kate out of her thoughts as she stopped in mid-motion of closing the door to reach back in and pop the trunk. She followed the other two to the back and grabbed her bag, feeling more like she was along for the ride and not really taking any of it in at the moment.

Rick unlocked the cabin and held the door for the two of them to go in first. It was as if he sensed her hesitation, because once they all stepped inside he announced, "There's two rooms, so we're going to have to draw straws to see who's stuck bunking with Alexis." he leaned closer to her and lowered his voice, but it was still intentionally loud enough to carry over to Alexis, "She hogs the covers."

His whisper, close enough for her to feel his breath on her cheek, threatened to send a shiver through her but she fought it back and turned to roll her eyes at him. "Don't lie." she said, "You just want it left up to chance because you know if she gets to pick she'll choose me. Admit it; you're afraid she likes me better."

She thought he'd laugh and shoot a quip back at her, but a suddenly serious expression stole his features and he opened his mouth as if to respond, but then clamped it closed again and started off towards one of the rooms with the bag Alexis had packed for him and sent down with Beckett that morning.

She and Alexis shared a look and a shrug before the girl decided that Kate needed a tour. There wasn't much to the cabin. A living room with a stone fireplace; open to the kitchen. Off to one side there was a modest bathroom and beside that the bedroom that Castle hadn't disappeared into, the whole wall between those doors taken up with a large bookshelf crammed completely full. She was excited to get a chance to look through them maybe spend a few hours of this trip absorbing a new book.

They settled their suitcases in the bedroom and Kate was about to launch into another heated internal debate about the logistics of this trip when the phone rang. Alexis left her to her own devices as she moved back out to the living room to get it. Kate dropped heavily onto the bed, staring up at the roof and wondering, not for the first time what she had gotten herself into.

Alexis was back a moment later, standing in the doorway with a huge smile on her face, "That was Lizzie; she's John and Rachael's daughter. She saw us pull in and wanted to let us know dinner will be ready at six." She turned and left the room again and Kate was sure she was probably headed over to let Castle know the same thing.

Once Alexis was out of the room again, Kate took the opportunity to change into jeans and a t-shirt. Convincing Castle that they had been on a case had necessitated a certain dress code, but out here she was more than a little uncomfortable. She slipped on some tennis shoes to finish off the more comfortable outfit and wandered out to see what the plan was now.

She wasn't the type to do anything quite so spur of the moment and finding herself in a situation where she was basically at the mercy of someone else to plan out her day was making her a little uncomfortable. She wanted this for Alexis, though. Something about the way the girl had pleaded with her to come with them had struck her and she was intent on making the most of it for Alexis, if not a little for herself as well.

With that in mind, she shook off her doubts about this and decided that living in the moment for a couple of days would not be the worst thing in the world. She vowed to have some fun while they were here and knowing her companions, they'd make sure that it was at least an interesting weekend.

Castle and Alexis were standing in the living room when she came out. She was glad to see he changed, too and she didn't feel so awkward about the need to dress down for the situation.

His shirt was a plain white cotton t-shirt and she almost turned around to go change when she realized they were basically wearing the same thing. His jeans were a little lighter than hers and slightly faded, more well-worn than those off the rack pants kids wore now that looked like they were broken in when they were new. The act of changing his shirt had left his hair lightly tussled and she was almost tempted to reach up and straighten it, almost.

Alexis, thank goodness for the girl, informed them that she wanted to take Kate down to meet the horses. They walked along a path that Castle complained was 'the scenic route', obviously not interested in wasting time on scenery.

"We're giving Kate a tour, Dad, suck it up." Alexis informed him before turning to Kate, "Have I ever thanked you for getting him out of the house as often as you do? He has about zero patience."

She and Kate shared a knowing smile when Castle rose to the bait with a whiny tone in his voice, "Hey, I heard that."

"That was kind of the point." Alexis informed him before her focus shifted back to telling Kate about all the things they passed, pointing out the different trails and explaining where each one went.

She stopped when they did at one of the trails. It was slightly overgrown and looked far less used than the others. Alexis stopped talking and Rick had pulled up next to her, throwing an arm over his daughter's shoulders. With a smile he hugged her close and Beckett barely heard as he whispered, "Tomorrow." to her.

From there they were both wistful and more subdued. Beckett found herself curious about the shift, but didn't want to ask and interrupt their moment. She wondered again why she'd come with if she was going to just hang back worrying about being the third wheel they had assured her she wasn't.

"What's down there?" she asked, trying to sound casual, though probably not being as successful as she'd hoped.

"Remember that waterfall I told you about?" Castle asked and she nodded. He gave her a smile and gestured back towards that trail with his head.

"Why is it all overgrown, then?" she wondered out loud, it seemed like that would be a trail everyone would take.

"This place gets a lot of tourists on top of its regular boarders. John and Rachael intentionally don't tend the mouth of that trail." Castle explained. "It keeps the casual tourists from going down there and makes it a little more private for those of us who value our time alone."

x.x.x

Kate was grinning as they entered the barn and she spotted the names of all the horses over their stables. Her eyes scanned the large barn, quickly skipping over more than a dozen stalls and then settled on a pair of them, "Bet I can guess which ones are yours." she challenged.

"What's the wager?" Castle responded immediately.

"No way, Dad, don't fall for it. It's too easy."

"She's right, Castle." Beckett gave the teen a little smile before gesturing down the left side of the barn as she started walking that direction, "Vader and Pythagoras, seriously?"

Castle was glaring at Alexis, "You should have let me bet her, I'd be laughing victoriously right now."

"I didn't say I'd also guess you had one for your mom, Castle." Beckett pointed out, walking over and reaching up to stroke the nose of a brown and white stallion, his name placard read Othello. "You guys are so ridiculously predictable. I mean, come on."

"What would you name your horse, then?" Alexis challenged, though she could tell the girl didn't take offence to her teasing.

"I know," Castle interjected and her stomach clenched, because if the next word out of his mouth was Johanna, she was going to lose it. "Probably something with Justice or Honor in it."

"Nope." she responded evenly, turning to face him, "I'd name him Amarillo Sky."

Castle looked at her quizzically and Alexis smiled, "Did you just make a country music joke?"

"Perhaps." she responded. Then they proceeded to have an entire conversation that excluded Castle by very nature of the theme.

"I love Jason Aldean!" Alexis gasped, sharing a smile at being able to bond with Kate over a common element that wasn't even remotely related to her dad.

"I know, right?" Kate asked. "He doesn't have the classically good looks of Tim McGraw, but his voice is something else and it doesn't hurt that he looks good in a cowboy hat."

Alexis made a face, "Tim McGraw is a little old for my tastes." Alexis responded, "But Keith Urban? Yeah, that's a different story."

Kate shrugged, "I do love that Australian accent, but he's too pretty."

"Where do you fall on Kenny Chesney?" Alexis asked and it was Kate's turn to make a face.

"I don't mind his songs as long as it's not live, but he kind of creeps me out." she responded and then felt proud for picking the right answer as Alexis grinned at her and nodded.

Castle, who had been trying to interrupt their conversation with various outbursts of the word 'Eww', finally stepped in between them. "Hey, do I need to separate you two, because this is getting uncomfortable."

"What's the matter, Castle, jealous?" she teased and watched him gulp as she slowly looked him up and down with her bottom lip between her teeth, "You'd probably look good in a cowboy hat."

Instantly, his eyes flared with an intensity she wasn't used to seeing in him. The stables disappeared, the conversation with Alexis and even the girl's presence fell away as she got lost in his eyes for a moment. She was picturing him in a black cowboy hat and the image stopped her short.

That's when it hit her and she gasped in surprise at how suddenly everything seemed to fall together. "Castle." she inhaled through his name and then seemed to recall that Alexis was standing beside her. "I just had an awesome idea." she exclaimed.

It seemed to take a moment for the fog to clear from his eyes and realization to strike. She didn't realize that they were standing so closely, or that they hadn't broke eye contact in several long seconds as she smiled in triumph and he smiled in anticipation. It wasn't until Alexis cleared her throat that they looked away from each other.

"Is there something I'm missing here?" the teen asked, a searching look in her eyes and suspicion on her face as she glanced between the two of them.

Kate scrambled to come up with something, and fumbled lamely, "I was just thinking how great it would be to," she tucked her hair behind an ear as she looked to Rick for some help but he was giving her a smug smile that said he expected her to get herself out of this. "To, uh, watch the sunset over the mountains from the corral out there?" She saw that Castle was fighting an attempt to laugh at her lame recovery.

Alexis smiled brightly, apparently missing the exchange between Kate and her father, "Oh, my gosh, you have no idea!" she exclaimed excitedly and started to head for the open doors on the other side of the barn as if to look out on the view westward where the sun would eventually be setting. "It's better than it setting over the Pacific, but there's a great spot for watching it from the main house."

Kate caught Castle's eye as they followed after the teen and glared at him, certain he understood the reprimand for him leaving her hanging by herself a few minutes before. He just grinned at her and shrugged.

x.x.x

Kate loved John and Rachael immediately. They were so friendly and welcoming that it felt like she had known them forever.

John greeted them at the door, in imposing man of at least six foot four with broad shoulders, skin tanned and weathered by days on the farm and salt and pepper hair that seemed to war with his youthful exuberance. "Rick!" he exclaimed as he opened the door and then pulled Castle into a quick hug before turning to Alexis, "Wow, Lexi, you've grown a foot." he smiled at her warmly and she was next for a quick hug before he turned to Kate. "Who's your friend, Rick?"

"Kate," she answered for him, "Kate Beckett." she elaborated as she held her hand out to greet him.

The towering man sidestepped her offered hand shake and pulled her into a hug that was brisk and emphasized the strength of the man. Oddly, she didn't feel out of place in the moment and it prepared her for a few minutes later when she met Rachael and was greeted just as warmly.

The woman seemed the polar opposite of her husband. She was small, and if not for the similar tanning and the definition visible in her bare arms, Kate would have labeled her as looking fragile. She knew, though, that size didn't denote strength, and could easily deduce that the woman worked hard out here on the ranch. The strong hug and a slightly calloused finger tucking Beckett's hair behind an ear confirmed that theory.

She thought that she might be a little more put off by someone she'd never met being so free with physical contact, but something about where they were made her feel comfortable. She scratched that when she was reminded that she only let those two events go because Castle had been so relaxed and carefree in the short moments with the couple. It was her trust in him that had her opening up to these strangers. She found the whole thing more than a little odd, but with a smile she followed them in the house intent to just go along with it.

Her cheeks hurt from smiling and her ribs ached from all the laughing she had done throughout dinner as John and Rachael told stories of Alexis and Castle's visits, most of which left Castle a little pink in the cheeks. The early stories were her favorite as John went on in great detail about the trouble Rick got into learning how to ride. Alexis had taken to it like a fish to water, but Castle had a good deal more difficulty and the stories kept them in stitches through the evening.

At one point he sent her a glare that said he'd get her back after she mentioned that John teaching him how to ride probably wasn't a good thing if he was just going to use that skill to ride naked through New York on a stolen police horse. She just smiled challengingly at his implied threat. Not surprisingly, he was the first to look away.

Alexis and Lizzie had disappeared shortly after dinner leaving the adults to talk. Rachael brought some coffee in as John led them to the back porch. Kate's heart felt light as she settled onto the porch swing and looked out over the open fields. There was something about the wide open spaces that made this feel completely unreal.

Twenty four hours ago she never would have thought she'd be sitting somewhere like this, but here she was and the moment struck her in the span of a breath. That familiar feeling of comfort that she'd felt since walking through the doors, seemed to wrap her in a soothing embrace as she gazed out over the sheer vastness of this piece of land.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Castle asked as he sat beside her and gave a light flick of his foot to gently rock the swing. His tone was hushed as if he didn't want to disturb the moment for her.

"If I ever give up crime and the city," she started, following his lead in the quiet tone, "it would be for something like this."

He was smiling softly at the statement, but he didn't push for more as she might have expected him to. Instead, he was the one who broke their eye contact and a moment later ventured out of the little bubble they had created as he turned to his friends, "Any idea where the girls ran off to?"

Rachael shook her head at him as if he should already know this and perhaps someone had told them, but Kate had missed it, too. "Buttercup had a colt a few weeks ago and Lizzie took her down to see him."

"So, you think they'll be a while?" he asked, receiving a nod and a look from Rachael that said he should know better than to even ask. "Kate and I are working on something for Alexis and I just remembered that she had some kind of epiphany in the barn earlier but couldn't share because Alexis was right there." He turned to grin at Kate and that heat was back in his eyes as if he were remembering the moment just before her revelation, "I've been waiting all night to hear this."

Kate shrugged in response. "It's probably dumb." she said.

He narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. She could see the reprimand in the set of his jaw and the tilt of his eyebrows. He definitely hated when she was down on herself about something, but now that the moment had passed she wasn't sure if it was even a good idea anymore.

"I just thought," she shrugged again, looking back to the fields of gently swaying greens and yellows, "As much as she loves it here and how she's a total city girl with a heart in the country, that we could give her a country themed birthday party. Everyone can dress like cowboys and we could get a great local band. I don't know. It's stupid."

"It's perfect." Castle responded, surprising her as his arm came around her shoulder and pulled her into his side, "It's so much more than perfect."

"Sounds like she's got Alexis pegged." John commented.

His presence reminded her of where she was and with whom. She pulled back from his embrace and straightened herself on the swing. She felt his arm fall away, but he kept it just behind her along the top of the bench seat.

"Yeah, I didn't think they were as close as they are, but did you hear what they did?" Castle asked, shock and outrage playing through his voice and expression. "They kidnapped me!" he exclaimed.

John and Rachael were laughing at him and it felt good as Kate joined in.

x.x.x

A few minutes before sunset found them joined once again by the two teenage girls. Lizzie and Alexis lay out on the grass of the backyard, staring up at the clouds in the last minutes of daylight. Their excited chatter about the colt carried up to wash over the adults who had fallen silent as if in anticipation of the sun's departure as it continued to dip lower on the horizon.

She felt her breath catch in her throat and hold there for the last moment that the sun lingered high enough over the horizon that the sky was still blue and the grass still green. She let it out on a contented sigh when the first hints of pink streaked across the bottoms of the few clouds in the sky.

It seemed that moment stilled them all as the girls on the grass fell silent and even the subtle sounds that had been everyone's movements stopped. There was only the glowing orb of the sun falling slowly behind a mountain in the far distance.

It blazed orange, surrounded by a halo of wispy clouds, hovering as if stalled just above the jagged peaks of the mountain tops. Patches of blue were still visible throughout the sky, but they faded quickly as the sun began to move further beneath the mountainous peaks.

"It's beautiful." she whispered, feeling almost breathless with the wonder of the sight before her eyes.

"Yeah." she heard Castle agree from right beside her. He seemed just as caught in the moment as her, if his tone was anything to go by.

With the sheer strength of her will, she forced her eyes from the beauty laid out before her because she was pulled by his voice. Urged by the fervent tone to actually see the reaction to this sight on his face, confirm that she wasn't the only one so enthralled with what they were standing witness to.

Her eyes met his in the fading light and her breath caught again at the realization that he had been watching her take in the sight. Her heart skidded in her chest a moment as she wondered what his breathy agreement had meant, but she forced the thoughts away and gazed back at the sunset. She was, unfortunately, distracted from the beauty of the moment by memories of his expression. Wonder and awe directed poignantly in her direction.

She didn't want to think about what that meant. She didn't want to dwell on what any of it meant. If felt good to be here in this moment with these people. It felt right. She didn't want to wonder about the arm that had been behind her that was now, somehow, since when, she didn't know, looped around her shoulders and drawing her infinitesimally closer to his side. She didn't want to think at all any more, not in this moment when the realization that she was so small in a world so big was made perfectly clear by the simple act of the earth in rotation.

She didn't want to think, and so, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she turned herself off. Everything that normally fought or raged inside her. Everything that normally soothed and counseled within her mind. Everything that warned and chastised each small choice she made. All of it, she switched off as she let herself be pulled close and even leaned into the side of the one man she probably shouldn't be leaning on. Her head resting against his shoulder, she watched the sky darken from her new, slightly angled, vantage point.

The heat of his shoulder beneath her cheek, the solid feeling of his body pressing against her side and the warmth of his arm surrounding her and gathering her close in the chilling air of burgeoning night, felt right. Despite how she might react once she let her bitter tormentor out of its captivity and that part of her mind started spouting logic and reasoning, she was going to enjoy this, because there was very little in her life that she did just for her and she was fairly certain that she deserved this moment.

It was over all too quickly, but he didn't let her go. They all stayed as they were, apparently unwilling or unable to step away from the life affirming act of watching the natural world darken to a deep blue.

x.x.x

It was almost eleven by the time they made it back to the cabin. Alexis excused herself to bed as soon as they walked in the door, giving her dad a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She surprised Beckett as she passed her on the way to the room and hugged her as well.

Kate didn't know what to do with the sudden gesture, so she simply returned it with a smile and a simple, "Good night."

Castle disappeared into his own room without a word, but she didn't feel ready to let the day end, so she began to examine the collection of books. It was an eclectic selection, to say the least. Next to Green Eggs and Ham she found Faulkner, a large leather bound copy of The Iliad sat flanked on one side by Dickens' The Adventures of Oliver Twist and on the other side Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends.

She felt a wistful smile pull at her lips as she reached out almost reverently and grabbed the book of children's poems off the shelf. The familiar weight of the hardcover felt good in her hands. She could see from a single glance at that white cover that this book had taken as much abuse over the years as her own copy had.

Memories of lying curled up with her mom as they read the poems over and over again had her suddenly blurry-eyed and clutching tightly to the book.

She didn't realize Castle had come back until he was reaching around her and carefully prying the book out of her hands. "Hey." he greeted her softly, "Put this on."

She looked down to where he was trying to pass her something, replacing the book with, a sweater? A hooded sweater. She blinked back the tears and looked to him with a question in her eyes.

"I want to show you something, you'll need that."

His tone was low and soothing, drawing her back out of her thoughts of the past and into the present, a time of confusion as she continued to stare at the large black sweater. It was tattered, she noticed. Not the whole thing, just the back of it. Frayed strands of cloth pulled loose in patches.

She forced herself not to think on it too much as she pulled the large garment over her head, practically swimming in the abundance of material as it swamped her. Once she tugged it into place, feeling the warm weight of it, she looked back at him. He had obviously put on a similar sweater in the time he was out of the room. He seemed aware of her hesitation as he reached out and lightly grasped her wrist.

She was grateful for the gesture and his apparent understanding that had he gone a little lower she might have run for the hills. He didn't have the book in hand anymore, she noticed as she blindly followed his careful path. Absently, she noted that his sweater bore the same fraying and wear as the one she was now wearing. It was an odd thought, because the one on her was obviously his as well if the scent of him clinging to the fabric was any indication.

There was a hatch in the ceiling near the kitchen that she hadn't noticed before and Castle reached up, pulling on a handled and then drawing down the steps to the attic. She didn't know why she wasn't protesting, but something about his serious expression and the careful way he led her with him, left her more than a little curious.

Castle flipped on a light and she realized that the attic was little more than half the height of a regular room down the middle, the gradual slope of the roof making each side of the room slant down all the way to the floor. He must have realized that she was going to follow him, because he released his hold on her as he led the way to the far side of the space.

They had to crouch all the way across the attic and she was glad for low shoes and the small cabin when it didn't take long to get there. Castle pushed open a window once they reached the end and then disappeared out it. She stood, hunched in the space for a moment, looking at the spot he had just been standing in and not understanding what he was doing. His head poked back in and he grinned at her, the first hint of him coming back with the teasing words, "You coming?"

Figuring she'd come this far, not to mention more than a little curious as to where he was leading her, Beckett still managed an eye roll as she moved through the window onto a strip of roofing along the back of the cabin. "Impatient much?" she asked sarcastically.

The light of the moon illuminated his smile as he craned his neck behind him as if informing her of his intent before he turned and made his way over to climb up the foot and a half that put him on the long strip of gradual sloping roof that ran the length of the cabin and overlooked the fields and corral.

She stared after him for a long moment. She hadn't climbed around on rooftops since she was a kid, and they had usually been flat apartment style ones. Still, the rough roofing shingles under her feet made her feel secure despite the angle she was walking at.

She didn't know what she expected to find when she followed after him, but he was sitting near the middle of the roof, his feet down on the shingles to keep him in place. "What are you doing?"

"Come here." he said simply and somewhere in her it didn't feel like a question. She followed along, not sure why, but deeply curious about this slightly pensive side to him.

She carefully made her way across, glad to note the slant of the actual roof was more gradual than the part they had climbed out on from the window. Sitting beside him, she finally turned and asked what she'd been wanting to since the moment he passed her the sweater, "What are we doing?"

She almost forgot how to breathe as a moment of panic filled her when Castle reached out. She didn't move, perhaps thinking he was like a T-Rex and if she didn't move he wouldn't be able to see her. Slowly, his hands got closer until they passed by her cheeks and reached behind her. Something fluttered in her stomach as she thought he was about to pull her to him and do. . . something. She didn't let her mind work out the details on that and simply waited feeling uneasy.

It took her a moment to realize he had reached behind her on either side of her and grasped something at the back of her neck. A moment later she felt him carefully pull up the oversized hood and rest it over her head. His hands moved away faster than they had approached and she was left wondering if he was treating her like a scared animal that might jump and run at sudden movements. She almost laughed at how accurate a description that probably was in the moment.

She watched as he did the same with his own sweater, drawing the hood up around his head until his face was cast into shadows. Then he was lying back against the roof, his knees bent to keep the soles of his shoes planted on the roofing for traction, his hands folded carefully over his stomach as he lay across the roof and looked up at the sky.

The tattered nature of the sweaters finally made sense as she considered the rough shingles catching on the fabric as he lay up here looking at the sky. She looked up; trying to figure out what drew him here. Even with the hood blocking part of her field of vision, she almost gasped at the sheer number of stars visible in the sky.

She didn't need any other convincing as she lay back and copied the position of the man beside her. Once she was prone, the edges of the hoody fell away from her eyes. She could feel the roof gripping her everywhere she touched it and she was grateful for the sweater and her jeans.

They stayed there a long time; silence their companion as they each apparently got lost in thoughts that were theirs alone. She couldn't have said how long it took the moon to move from point A to point B, but the silence kept it company from one random spot in the sky to where she stopped following it because Castle finally spoke.

"I come up and watch the stars every time we're out here. It puts my life in perspective." he informed her softly, as if concerned he might interrupt her own ruminations. "It's my little secret." he added and she wondered if that was to calm the random thought in her head of who else has worn this sweater and shared this very moment with him.

"Why?"

"That's not a very direct question, Detective." he pointed out lightly.

"Why show me if it's a secret?" she elaborated, though she was sure he expected her to ask why he came up here. It was the safer question.

She heard the rough sound of fabric against the shingles and could imagine him shrugging as he took a moment to find the words he wanted to say. "You looked like you could use a little of what this spot gives to me."

She thought about it for a while, just looking up at the universe that seemed to surround them and blanket everything. "Thanks, Rick." She was a little surprised at herself for dropping his first name so casually, but then she brushed off the thought.

This wasn't work or even time spent in the presence of others while they both had their masks of confidence and humor in place. This was him sharing a bit of himself with her, sharing something he admitted that he kept to himself intentionally, and that was too personal for her to stick with business.

Swallowing heavily, she decided she would return the gesture. Her voice came out soft, but stronger than she had anticipated, stronger than it would have in that moment downstairs as he took the book from her hands. "That was my favorite book growing up." she explained. She was close enough that as he tensed from the words, just the slightest, she could feel it.

She didn't know if it was a reaction to the fact that she was speaking, what she was sharing, or an effort to fight reaching out to her. She knew he fought that in these situations. He couldn't hide it and it had always tempted her to accept the unspoken offer of comfort. He was a father, he understood more than anybody how much it would pain his daughter to lose someone she cared about so much. She could imagine he wore that same look from the few times she'd watched him catch himself before he could reach out in similar situations, but she didn't look at him to confirm it.

"For years, if I was picking the book before bed, that was the one I'd pull off the shelf." this time, when the memories came, they washed over her with warmth and a smile as opposed to the tears she had felt trying to escape earlier. "She'd lay with her arm around me, tucking me into her side with my head resting against her shoulder as we both held the book and took turns."

She felt the gentle graze of the back of his hand against her arm even through the thick sweater. The small act was probably the most he'd allow himself to assume on the part of offering comfort. He knew she'd throw it back in his face if he even hinted that she was weak, but tonight she didn't want to fight. Instead she just talked. She told him about that book and memorizing half the poems in it, but not caring because when they read them together it was like she was reading them for the first time again.

She pushed at his hand gently when it came back again, and he moved it away quickly as if embarrassed to have been caught in the act of trying to sooth her or worried about what the ramification for that gesture would be. She propped up on an elbow just slightly, enough to reach and push his arm further up and out of the way.

She didn't let herself overthink that she was not only accepting of comfort from Castle, but initiating it. She adjusted herself until she was lying again, this time with her head using his shoulder as a pillow as she continued to look up at the sky. His arm stayed loose around her shoulders, letting her decide what she needed from him without pushing and she appreciated his restraint.

The silence dragged on again, but it was comfortable, nothing like she would have expected from accepting this from him. Letting anyone close enough to comfort her was not something she ever did, not since she was a teenager with a broken heart. Not since her mom. She realized.

She felt Castle's low soothing voice rumbled through his chest, but it took her a moment to realize what he was saying. She smiled through the threat of tears as she realized he was reciting a poem from the book from memory. The tears stayed buried as the words floated around them and she was grateful that he had chosen a fun and silly poem to recite, because it banished the tears that had threatened.

'Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too' rolled smoothly off his tongue into the night and she felt herself relax into him further. He finished and she realized she didn't want the silence anymore. "Another?" she asked, feeling tentative and shy in her request. Perhaps that was the only one he knew.

His chuckle was different then, almost embarrassed, but he didn't speak except to start into another. When he began to recite the lengthy 'Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout' she was certain he'd miss something in that one. The vast array of foods listed had always tripped her up in memorizing that one. She was pleasantly surprised as his voice rang out softly with a gentle lilt and a steady cadence and he made it through the whole thing without even stumbling once.

"How often did you read that to Alexis?" she asked, feeling suddenly intrigued with this side of him, the fatherly side, though 'suddenly' probably wasn't the most accurate word.

"About a million." He exaggerated. She could tell from his voice that he was smiling. He didn't wait for her to speak again and instead he launched into 'Smart', one of her all-time favorites from the book and she found herself laughing along as she always had as a child.

x.x.x

A/N: The reason I didn't post all 8000 words yesterday is because I wasn't done, had only made it up to the sun starting to set when I was too exhausted to continue. As you can see from the length here this went even further than the 4000 words I cut from last night's post.

BTW I'm not Shel Silverstein and don't own Where the Sidewalk Ends, but love love loved that book when I was younger.

Review that made my day: Beetlebug, who is apparently going to spend this entire story on the edge wondering when I'm going to do something crazy like drown a kitten. I love that you know me so well after so short a time on here, but relax. This is just supposed to be fun. Yes, it's completely out of my comfort zone and not like my other stories, so hearing that you like it anyway is such a relief.

I might throw in a little action or a smidge of angst to keep things interesting when I get bored, but this one is supposed to pull me out of the depression that writing To Have and To Hold put me in. It seems to be effective because I'm smiling a lot more this week than I have been for the past few months.

Thanks to everyone for reading.