Here we go! A new chapter for all of you! Hope I get some people to chuckle/laugh while reading this one. If so, it made my day. Enjoy. :)

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It's a wonder how I'm not really noticing that Haruhi did not physically beat me like I originally thought she would. Now that I think about it, I realize that I had left Suzumiya-san in that movie theatre, by herself, for however long the movie took to finish. I effectively ditched her when I decided to go to the bathroom, even though it wasn't originally my fault in the first place.

Damn Koizumi! He just had to find the will to snatch me out of the real world at that specific time, didn't he?

This seems like the time for another one of my usual sighs. In a perfect world, Koizumi might have found the urge to pluck me out of the real world and bring me into closed space at some other moment. He could have done while I was sleeping, or maybe when I was in the middle of another deathly boring class. But of course, any world that Suzumiya-san had a part in creating will always remain far from perfect.

It is now that I'm being pulled along by the hand, by none other than the same all-powerful girl that I ended up leaving in the move theater just before. Suzumiya-san has not spoken to me once since we left the vicinity of the theater, and I can't help but begin to imagine the things probably going through her head right now.

For all I know, she could be plotting my very downfall. First, she'll seduce me and make me think everything is alright. I won't even know what hit me…

What would be the murder weapon? Would she strangle me with her Ultra Chief armband? Will she bash my head into the clubroom computer screen over and over and over again? Will she just throw me out the window? God! I can't live in this much fear!

Wait a second. I need to get a hold of myself. Suzumiya-san deciding to kill me? What kind of idiotic thought is that? If there's anything I should be sure of, it's that no matter what the circumstances, no matter what I do, Haruhi must care about me enough never to consider ending my life. I know she does.

Another frightening thought entered my mind. It was one that involved me finally telling Suzumiya-san that I was fed up with her, and I never ever wanted to see her or be a part of her idiotic SOS Brigade ever again. Days later, I wind up in the obituaries, having been killed via strangulation. A red armband with the words, "Ultra Director. No one will ever cross me again!" on it, was the cause of my death.

I gulped. Let's just forget about all of that for the time being.

And so, the night is already falling like a blanket over the sky, much faster than I had expected, in fact. Suzumiya-san is content with dragging me along like I'm just a little kid's red wagon, but I guess it would be unwise to struggle against her powerful grip. Sometimes, I feel more like an action figure than a boyfriend to her. An action figure she can forcibly kiss whenever she wants, of course.

"So, do you mind if I ask where we're going?" I said to Suzumiya-san as she continued to forcibly pull me along, and I could see nothing of her face. I only got a full view of her chestnut brown hair that slightly bounced as she walked along at a determined pace.

"We're going to eat, that's where!"

That is most certainly a typical Haruhi answer. Straight to the point, with none of those cut off corners. Sighing would be redundant right now. The only option left is to just let her bring me wherever she intends to bring me.

Apparently, that destination is far from here. It's not long till we're winding through the streets again; bringing attention to ourselves, mostly because of the way Suzumiya-san continues to just drag me along.

I can't help but hear the multiple things people are saying around us such as "Awww…how cute." and even a few "Wow. She sure looks like the man in that relationship." I would be lying if I said that these various comments were not annoying the hell out of me.

But some of them are right. I should shamelessly admit to myself now that Haruhi is, in fact, the man in our relationship. Or at least she's the instigator, intimidator, and generally bossy Brigade Chief. I should just admit it before I find myself groveling in tormented embarrassment.

After some time of us walking, something pops into my head that I find I would like to say. It's mostly considering the fact that part of me continues to imagine my eventual end by Haruhi's hands. It's hard to get such scary thoughts out of ones head.

"Um Haruhi….I'm kind of surprised, I have to say."

In response to my declaration, Suzumiya-san turned around to face me, as if I had said something traitorous to her.

"Surprised at what?" she asked me, except with a tone that obviously pointed out dissension in her voice. The streetlight nearby was severely complimenting her natural looks, but something about it was kind of making her look almost demonic as well. Maybe it's just my imagination. Yeah, definitely my imagination.

"Well…." I began, nervously rubbing the back of my head. Suzumiya-san had let go of my hand by this point, but I still could not find the urge to exactly tell her what I wanted to tell her. For all I know, it would be stupid to point such a thing out. But in the event that I didn't end up saying anything, it would just invariably haunt me for the rest of my days. I sighed heavily and loudly before I said my statement.

"I just expected that you'd be angrier than ever after finding out that I spent that whole movie in the bathroom. I mean, I figured you'd be really pissed. Maybe it's clearly my imagination then, and I have nothing to worry about."

I guess something inside me had been unwound from a tight knot after saying those words. It was as if the anxiety of having to think about Suzumiya-san being super angry at me had just gone with the wind, and it was certainly a very pleasant feeling.

"Oh. Don't worry about that, Kyon…" Suzumiya-san said in a soft, almost cute voice, and to my surprise, her face was now only inches away from mine. She had a seductive smile on her lips, and it could do nothing besides make my heart melt like micro-waved butter.

"You should be way more than worried, you moron! You're lucky I didn't rip your head off for leaving me there! How dare you try some kind of idiot stunt like that! Especially to your Brigade Chief, of all people! I'm going to give you the maximum penalty I can possibly give! You'll be begging for mercy by the time I'm finished with you!"

Haruhi's voice had come out with the kind of loudness that would come out of the trunk of a male alpha elephant, and it had every hint of anger that she could possibly show. If Suzumiya-san's eyes were lighting up with an intense heat right now, I would not be surprised. Still, her sudden explosion of anger could not help but scare me just a little bit.

Who am I kidding? I'm terrified. I don't remember the last time I've heard Suzumiya-san this angry. Wait a second, I have. The last time she was this angry….she almost caused the end of the world. I mentally slapped myself and kicked myself. Here we go again….

"I'm guessing…sorry, won't suffice?" I said feebly, as I was now trying to narrowly avoid making Suzumiya-san any angrier than she already clearly was. She looked back at me with a glare, as if considering accepting my weak apology. Crossing her arms, she turned her gaze away from me, still obviously annoyed.

"We'll see how I'm feeling after we get something to eat. I'm still starving!"

After that embarrassing display in the middle of the street, I managed to get Suzumiya-san to finally lead me to wherever it was she wanted to eat. I would assume that satiating her would hopefully quench whatever anger she might be feeling as well. It's not like I wanted Haruhi to continue being mad. That would just lead to highly undesirable consequences.

To my utter dismay, Haruhi decided she wanted to eat Western food again, and she was in the process of finding us a table in the same restaurant I had gone to with her some weeks before. That was the day I had first gone on a date with Haruhi. What an interesting day that had certainly been. I think the clearest memory was when I watched Suzumiya-san punch Taniguchi right in the nose. As brutal of an act as it was, it certainly was almost funny and enjoyable to watch. God, I sound sick thinking that. But sometimes even Taniguchi deserves that.

As we got to sitting down, Haruhi seemed to just catch the waiter's attention almost immediately, and her mouth started moving like it was powered by electricity.

"We'll be getting some of this, and a little bit of that, and some of that, and a side order of this, and add a little of that just for the fun of it." She said, effectively confusing the waiter with half the things she said. I could see he was just feebly trying to write down everything she had told him, despite the fact that Suzumiya-san had made herself more or less incomprehensible to most anyone.

After the waiter left, still utterly confused out of his mind, Suzumiya-san diverted her attention to me. It's awkward to have her staring at your face like it's a television screen. She seems to have this need to find something to keep her attention, like every second of boredom is poison to her. I guess I can understand why she can't help but avoid boredom, considering what's happened every time she ends up getting too melancholic. Maybe her constant search for excitement is the way she indirectly stops herself from destroying the universe. At least, Koizumi would probably put it that way.

Damn that esper boy! I most likely won't get to hear any of his explanations till Monday. He's lucky I don't know where he lives, or I'd just go to his house and interrogate it out of him!

Once again, who am I kidding? I'm no Suzumiya-san. I don't have the spine to interrogate anyone. I might as well admit that and spare myself the utter shame and embarrassment.

"So you want to see what I've been reading lately?" a high, jubilant voice said to me from right across the table, and the only logical answer would be that it came from Suzumiya-san.

I turned, initially unsure of what to think of Haruhi's quick change of mood. It was a good thing, actually. If her attention was changing so quickly, then perhaps she might just as easily forget about all the anger she might be harboring towards me.

The best choice of action right now was to simply humor her. It's not like it could hurt, right?

"What is it?" I said, leaning towards her as I tried to make myself as interested as I possibly could. Haruhi reached into the pocket of her jacket, and I wondered exactly what kind of book she could be keeping there. She looked like she was searching for something that had obviously been lost in her coat. I tapped my finger impatiently, until I finally saw Suzumiya-san pull something small out of one of her pockets.

"Here it is! It's a really weird read, but I like it!" she exclaimed, nearly slamming the tiny book on the table. Upon getting a closer look, I almost groaned at what it was she'd been reading.

Of course you would like anything weird, Haruhi. It's only in your nature. And you've only mentioned it to us for the thousandth time!

Why do I sound so alarmed and annoyed? It's probably because of the book that Suzumiya-san has proclaimed to be vigorously reading. It's called….the Bible.

Look, I swear that I have no idea where the hell she got a copy of this from. And why did she get one anyway? I haven't read this text myself, but from some of the things that Koizumi mentioned, it sounds like religious gibberish. But I never was too religious….so maybe I shouldn't talk much…

"Check it out, Kyon! There's this one part at the end called The Book of Revelation or something. I don't remember. It was saying all this stuff about the end of the world and an alien warrior called the Antichrist who overthrows everyone and takes over the world. In fact, this book says that the Bible has proof of aliens affecting history! I knew it! It's everywhere, and people won't acknowledge it!" Haruhi stated to me, holding both books us as if comparing one to the other.

Apparently, Haruhi assumed that one of the books in her hands, Chariots of The Gods, was undeniably saying that the other book, the Bible, had unquestionable proof of alien contact with human beings in the past. Even though I haven't read either of these books, I can somehow make a good guess that Suzumiya-san is definitely misinterpreting something.

For one thing, she was clearly making an embarrassment of herself and of me, because I could just feel all the stares around us burning themselves into my soul. Second, I already had figured out that the orb I had seen in both junk data space and closed space was created completely and totally by Suzumiya-san. That was something anyone could have figured out at this point, granted they knew what Haruhi's power was in the first place.

Where the hell did she find all this nonsense? All it's done is given her more crazy ideas that just make everyone else's life worse. I groaned, putting my head down as I waited for our food to come.

"Kyon! Are you even listening to me? I'm trying to tell you what I've been reading! Answer your Brigade Chief, or you're going to end up cleaning the entire club room floor on Monday, with a toothbrush!"

I guess I could do nothing but jolt up in response to that. There was no way I was planning on cleaning the entire club room floor with a toothbrush. Not anytime soon, at least.

"Sorry, sorry. I was feeling tired. Go on…" I said with false excitement. I really don't want to continue feeding an interest of Suzumiya-san's like this. Especially when it's an interest that is not necessarily good. And to my dismay, our food was taking awhile to come.

Damn you, Haruhi! Did you order so much on purpose? And I'm not made of yen, you know!

"So like I was saying…this book talks so much about aliens! They call them angels, but I can tell they're all really talking about aliens in disguise. Especially since they all seem to come down from the sky. I mean come on! Why would random guys with wings just come down and want to talk to ordinary boring humans? It makes no sense to me. They all have to be aliens!"

I could already clearly tell that Suzumiya-san planned on talking for quite awhile now. With nowhere to escape to, I could only help but listen to her and pretend to be interested. I had a feeling this was going to be quite a long Friday night.

Okay, it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was. After Haruhi had finished talking, she ate only a small amount of the food she had ordered, all of which I was still expected to pay for. It was annoying, but it wasn't that much of a bother.

Luckily, I managed get a goodbye kiss from Suzumiya-san when we walked to her house, which certainly brightened up my evening. With not much else to do, I decided to just head home.

The night routine went fairly quickly, as I washed up, brushed my teeth, changed, and somehow managed to avoid my annoying younger sibling once again. Luck continued to stay on my side, and I guess I should cherish such little things that help make my days all the better, even if they seem bad to start out with.

Falling asleep took almost no effort, once I got into my bed. I just lay down, closed my eyes, thought about Suzumiya-san for a bit, and eventually, I just drifted into a calm, pleasant sleep. Hopefully this time I wouldn't be woken up and teleported into some junk data space. Nagato-san did that once, and I would sincerely hope that she didn't find the urge to do it again.

When a good night's sleep seemed right within my grasp, something just had to snatch it away. When it seemed like I might actually be getting the kind of lazy morning I wanted, something just had to get in the way. And behold, that something was none other than my incomparable sister.

"Kyon! Wake up, sleepy head!" she nearly screamed in her sing-song voice from behind my door, battering at it with her tiny hands. Like I've said, it's cute to anyone else, but definitely not too me. I rubbed the back of my head in utter annoyance, clearly because I was really pissed off. It's a Saturday morning! Can't I get some sleep just this once?

"Gah, what is it? It better be important…" I said, obviously not wanting to get up, even though I forced myself out of bed. Your own bed is always the most comfortable right before you fully leave it.

"Your girlfriend is here, Kyon! She wants you to come to the door!"

I guess there was not much else to do but sigh at such a response. I guess I shouldn't expect a free Saturday from here on out. Whatever happens, it seems that Haruhi always needs to have something planned for all of us. I sincerely doubt that whatever she's doing, she's certainly not doing it without the rest of the Brigade.

And since when did I tell my sister that Suzumiya-san was my girlfriend? How does everyone know all this stuff when I don't even say a word about it?!?

Never mind. This is obviously going to continue on like some sick joke that keeps getting played on me. There's no point in arguing with it. I couldn't help but sigh yet again.

"Hold on a second." I said emotionlessly and in a tired tone, as I changed my clothes and tidied myself up as best I could. The worst thing I could do right now was to keep Haruhi waiting, even though I knew I'd be getting a scolding fit from the girl no matter how much time I took getting to her. Without taking too much time, I quickly ran out of my door, breezing right past my smiley-faced sister as I did so. At least being with Haruhi meant that I wouldn't have to be dealing with that little girl…

And as I got towards my front door, I could clearly see that it was already wide open. I figured my sister might forget to close it. Either that, or Suzumiya-san took the liberty of keeping it open. Nevertheless, I stepped right outside, only to be greeted by the Brigade Chief's obviously impatient voice.

"You're finally up! Do you know how long we've been waiting out here?"

I initially ignored Suzumiya-san's statement, taking the time to realize that the whole club was now present in front of me. Nagato-san was reading a novel, and ignoring everything else, as usual. Asahina-san gave me a wave, and she wore a cute expression that did nothing less but makes me melt inside. Koizumi had his hands in his pockets, the same plastic smile on his face. Suzumiya-san's arms were crossed, and she did not look very pleased with me at all. Right next to her, there was what looked like a red wagon, and it contained a few rectangular cardboard boxes.

"What's going on?" I said, yawning loudly as I closed my eyes for a moment.

"Don't fall asleep, idiot! You're in charge of carrying this!" Haruhi exclaimed at me while my eyes were closed, and I felt something nearly get dropped right onto my foot. It took all my reflexes to catch it, and I when I did manage to grab it, I noticed it was quite heavy.

"What's this?" I said as I stared at the large cardboard box now in my hands. It felt bulky, and there was some stuff written on it that I didn't feeling like really discerning at the moment, due to my current exhaustion.

"It's one of the new computers that I got for us this morning. While you were sleeping your ass off, Kyon, the rest of the club and I went to go pick these up from the electronics store. They're the latest models, and we're going to get them to the club room on the double! Now let's go already! I want to try them out!"

Without another word, I watched Suzumiya-san turn and take hold of the handle that began to drag the red wagon carrying the other cardboard boxes along. It was then I noticed that there was just enough space left in the wagon to easily fit the cardboard box I was currently holding.

She's making me carry this just to spite me? What the hell does she think I am? What kind of crazy gi-

Gah…there's no use. Without another thought of protest, I simply followed Haruhi's lead, and Nagato-san, Asahina-san and Koizumi did the same. We're all just the workers in her big circus. Lucky us….