1A/N: Alright, I'm going with Chicago, because I loved this too much to pass it up. Thanks, Claire F.!

Razzle Dazzle

The Voice

No sooner had Nudge finished singing and Max II and I finally rested our aching ankles after all the damn flippys we'd done when Fang came bellowing in, busting down the door with Iggy, Gazzy and Angel behind him, all in ready-to-fight stance.

Great, I thought, watching as the Erasers ran up to them and began to fight.

Hey,said the Voice, don't lose all hope yet. You've got Max II, and Nudge, and maybe even me to open a few doors... as these words were spoken, the cell door slowly creaked open, and I looked at Max II and Nudge, hoping that I wasn't just seeing things—was this door really opening up, were we really free?

Yes, Max, chuckled the Voice, c'mon, at least put up a fight... for my sake.

Something was bothering me about the Voice... maybe the fact that it sounded like it was going to go on a streak of confusing metaphors, or give me some riddles of some sort. Not only that, but it was going nuts, thinking that my flock could take on this many Erasers after this exhausting time.

Oh, c'mon, Max, you know you can do this.

Oh? I raised an eyebrow as I exited the cell and broke a single Eraser's neck. Do I really?

After a short jolt of pain, music began, and the Voice's... well, voice, was no longer speaking. He was... singing.

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle them. Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it, and the reaction will be passionate. Give 'em the old hocus-pocus, bead and feather 'em. How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

I picked up dirt from the corner of the room next to the broom and threw it into one Eraser's eyes, kicking another's legs out from underneath him. I rather liked the way the Voice was talking, er, singing, though the latter was kind of creeping me out.

What if your hinges all are rusting?

"They aren't," I snapped aloud, kicking an enemy in the face.

What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

"I'm not," I gritted my teeth and knocked two skulls together.

Razzle dazzle them, and they'll never catch wise.

Whipping around quickly, I studied how my flock was doing. Nudge was a bit bloodied, but okay. Fang was doing great—I watched him take out three Erasers by doing a scissor kick thrice. Angel and Gazzy were teaming up and holding their own, and Iggy was beyond fine. Even Max II was fighting the darned Erasers.

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle, the Voice was singing again, razzle dazzle them. Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous, row after row will grow vociferous. Give 'em the old flim flam flummox, fool and fracture them. How can they hear the truth above the wrong? Throw 'em a fake and a finagle, they'll never know you're just... a bagel.

"Am not!" I cried angrily, punching an Eraser in the chest and then throwing him into the brick wall. "Am so not!"

Razzle dazzle them, and they'll beg you for more.

"Whatever," I sighed, and watched as even more Erasers poured out of Freaking Nowhere. "Ahh, what the hell? Where are they coming from?"

Fang spun around, and just seeing his face made me blush. "No idea," she shrugged and punched an Eraser blindly, knocking its lights out. He walked over to me. "You alright? You look like you've been talking to the Voice," he noted, and tapped my forehead twice for good measure.

Give 'em the old double whammy, daze and dizzy 'em.

"No, I'm fine," I nodded and cringed as the mental image of Fang singing this song seared my brain. That was more painful than the brain attacks themselves.

Back since the days of old Methuselah—

"You sure?"

everyone loves the big bamboozala.

Fang saying 'bamboozala'? That was too much—I burst into laughter. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine, I'm great. We should probably k-keep fighting—"

Give 'em the old three-ring circus, stun and scatter 'em. When you're in trouble, go into your dance. Though you are stiffer than a girder, they'll let you get away with murder—razzle dazzle them, and you've got a romance.

Now either my mind was playing tricks on me or the Erasers actually were wearing feathery pink boas and stilettos... probably works of the Voice. I shook my head viciously, trying to get the boas and stilettos to leave, but the Erasers were looking at their feet and their boas questioningly, like, "Holy crap, where did these come from?"

Then the Erasers were singing back up to the Voice. God, this was getting fucked up. Give 'em the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle them. Show 'em the first rate sorcerer you are. Long as you keep 'em way of balance, how can they spot you've got no talent? Razzle dazzle them—

"RAZZLE DAZZLE THEM!" the Erasers cried, doing a kick line.

Razzle dazzle them... the voice paused and then its voice was strong and in time with the Erasers'. And they'll make you a staaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

"LET'S GO!" I shouted, and I started booking it down the hallway and out into the open grassy field of darkness. "YES! CAN I GET A WHOOP-WHOOP FOR STILETTOS?"

"Whoop-whoop!" Iggy answered, and we high-fived for good measure.

Suddenly, Jeb was right behind us, holding up a large gun. "MAXIMUM!" he shouted, and I giggled at the use of my full name. "What did you do in there?" he roared, holding the gun up to his eye. "You're going to pay!"

...Okay. So Jeb had finally gone crazy... what was next?

"Wait!" Fang started, jumping in front of the line of fire. "It... it wasn't her."

Jeb lowered the gun. "Oh, really?"

Fang nodded. "Really, man."

Why was he talking like a Jamaican?

...and that's where things started getting weird.

A/N: Next is "Benjamin Calypso," a song from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Great song from a great show that I'm currently doing. :)

–Steph.

(PS: I'm officially turning of anonymous reviews because of some anonymous flames on the RENT board that I can't address... I might change my mind, but I'm not sure.)