CHAPTER 6:
BAPTISM OF LASER-FIRE
NOTICE TO ALL PERSONNEL
I am happy to say that UNIT, and indeed the Earth, has survived its baptism of laser-fire. The Cybermen's fleet is now debris, as is the bomb they nearly fired into Earth. Tobias Vaughn, along with key personnel of International Electromatix, are dead, victims of the Cybermen. Thankfully, casualties during our raid of IE were minimal. Thanks to Miss Watkins, we also have a photographic record. So we can at least justify our funding to Geneva. I should really talk to Group-Captain Gilmore about this…
SPECIFIC NOTICES TO PERSONNEL:
Corporal Benton: I am glad to hear that your mother won big at Bingo, and that you will be taking an extended holiday with her. But please remember that you are bound by the Official Secrets Act, so don't tell her about it. If she starts talking about such things, anyway, she might get sectioned.
Captain Turner: I warned you, didn't I? You are very lucky that Commander Bykovsky is forgiving enough to not do more than slap you. I heard rumours that she was of the…Sapphic persuasion, shall we say? As it is, you have Miss Watkins eyeing you up, and Professor Watkins plotting your murder for seducing his niece, even though it seems she's seducing you. Still, well done on sending that missile into the Cybermen's mothership. But if you do intend to elope with Miss Watkins, Gretna Green may not be far enough.
The Doctor: I'm sorry that the medic nearly killed you with aspirin, but you complained of both a headache and burns to your rear end(1). Should we ever retain your services, we will list that under 'allergies' on your personnel file.
Miss Heriot: I can see why you wanted that sparkly catsuit retrieved. My men are most appreciative, and I certainly appreciate the boost in morale. But who is the Karkus, and why do you keep saying that, and I am quoting you verbatim here, 'kicked his musclebound arse in the Land of Fiction and made him my slave'?
McCrimmon: Good Lord, man, how did you drink an entire bottle of medicinal grade alcohol and only get a bad hangover?! According to our medic, you should be dead, and pickled to boot! And please do not say it's because you're a Highlander!
Miss Watkins: As competent Captains are hard to find, could you restrain from flirting with Captain Turner any further? Your uncle is plotting his murder.
Professor Watkins: As competent Captains are hard to find, could you restrain from plotting Captain Turner's murder?
Mr Cl3v3r, L33t H4xx0r: As you are now currently a cloud of atomised dust, I believe that, with the assistance of the Doctor and Miss Heriot for the lingo, I have the last word. And here it is: PWNED!
CHAPTER 6 ANNOTATIONS:
The end of The Invasion, but not the end of the madness. Next chapter, the beginning of Spearhead from Space.
Oh, and look, it's my first numbered annotation.
1. In The Mind of Evil, the Doctor states that aspirin can kill him. And in case you're wondering about the burns to his rear-end, blame Patrick Troughton for hamming it up during that sequence. Every time an explosion (set off by Cybermen shooting at him) went off, he'd clutch his bum and howl.
