Part 7
Faith's POV
"So you're sure that David's the head vampire?" I ask, I don't know why, I've asked her like nine times in the past few minutes.
"As far as I can tell. They all follow his lead." Each time I've asked, she's found a different way to word it.
"Ok." I want to say more, but can't think of anything to say. "Ok. Ok."
"So, it's ok?"
I catch her eyes and manage to grin. Until I take a good look at her. She looks awful, her face is deathly pale there's a light sheen of sweat across her face and every so often she shudders. "You ok, B?"
She smiles at me, a totally beautiful smile I've never seen before, something in it seems lost and at the same time young and innocent. I realise that it's the same expression Star was wearing when I met her. "I'm five by five, Fai." She tells me.
"Ok, let's address this, you've shortened my name, you've just said 'five by five' and I'm being sensible at the moment – have we traded places?"
She laughs and looks a little better. She gets up and struts around the room cockily, puffing away on an unlit cigarette. "I dunno, girlfriend, but I'm feeling wicked-cool and five by five!"
B laughs and I join her. Then she starts shaking.
"Cold." I'm up like a shot to hold her and offer warmth.
"Not cold." She mutters through clenched teeth, backing away from me.
"Then what?"
"I'm fine."
I realise she hasn't opened her mouth the whole time. "You vamping on me?" I ask.
She looks at me, tears in her eyes. Shakes her head, no. Then nods.
"Hungry?"
She nods again.
I offer her my neck. "Only if you're in control. Are you in control?"
"I won't do that, Faith."
"Why not? You're weak."
"I won't feed."
"B, you're gonna need all the strength you can get for tomorrow. You're meant to sleep through the day but you're gonna be awake."
"I can't, Fai."
"You can." I urge. "Star says they make her drink from the bottle to keep her strength up until…" I trail off, not wanting our conversation to go there. "They hold her down and force blood down her throat."
"I can't do it."
"You can, B." I say softly. "You're the best slayer that ever was, you can control the urge, got it? And if you can't, I can. Now feed!"
Slowly she approaches. I can feel her anguish just by meeting her eyes. This goes against every single Buffy Summers principle in existence, but she needs it. I'm not having her die during the fight because she was too proud to drink, and became to tired and weak to fight.
She's trembling in my arms now. "S'ok, B." I whisper. "Just take it easy."
Her teeth pierce the skin of my neck and I wince. B draws away, but my hand pulls her mouth back to my throat.
Damn it! My knees are shaking, but it's not from fear. What she's doing to me right now is just about the most intimate thing I can imagine, it's far more intimate that sex. And I'm sharing it with B.
I realise I've been holding my breath and let it out in a ragged gasp.
My fingers aren't quite steady as they find their way to her back, stroking her from the top of her neck right down to the bottom of her spine, and I find that I'm not the only one who's shaking. One hand finds her face and caresses it as she drinks from me.
I could die right now and not care. I mean that literally. I'm hers now, even if she never kisses me I'll always belong to her in a way that no-one else in the world does, not even Angel.
She begins to drink deeper and I realise the bloodlust is taking over. I gently ease her away, for a second she fights it, then gets a hold of herself. Her teeth leave my neck and she lets out a deep breath.
"Wow."
I don't know how to take that wow, but I can't help agree.
Buffy's POV
There's a strangeness in the air as we get ready for bed. I could write it off as being just an exceptionally weird day, but it's more than that.
It's what happened when I drank Faith's blood. Not the drinking part, the effect she had on me. Her hands on my back and face.
I've not stopped staring at her since. She comes out of the bathroom wearing only a tiny vest and a pair of panties. I have to stop staring at her now, it's rude.
"Ciggie before bedtime." She says and climbs up onto the windowsill. She lights up and stares out of the window. "Why is it the most beautiful towns always have the biggest amount of nasties?" She muses.
I don't answer, I'm staring at a tattoo I've never seen before. There's a bee on her hip. "New tat?" I ask, wondering why a bee.
She turns to me, notices I'm pointing at her tattoo and blushes. "Yeah. Last birthday, Angel gave me a hundred bucks and told me to buy something I really wanted. I spent half of it on tequila and the other half on the tattoo. I just wish I'd got drunk after."
"It's a bee." I say, then I get it, or think I do. Bee. B. Buffy. Or maybe it's I hope I get it.
"Yeah. See you've got a tattoo, when did that happen?"
"Also birthday, not long after I came back. Wanted to do something non-Buffy like. I was also smashed."
"What's it mean?"
Now here's a funny story. I went to a tattoo artist while drunk, Spike came along, and he's been sworn to secrecy about this. I remember asking to have the Japanese symbol for Angel tattooed on my shoulder. What I actually got what the symbol for Faith. Both Spike and the tattoo guy distinctly remember me asking for Faith. The word Angel never passed anyone's lips.
I asked Spike the next day why he didn't correct me, he said he was quite happy that I wasn't going to have 'a sodding symbol of that bleeding nancy boy' permanently engraved on my body.
"B? What's it mean?"
Lie or truth?
Faith quirks an eyebrow at me.
"It means Faith." I tell her.
For the first time in the history of mankind, Faith is dumbstruck. Finally, "Like religion or destiny or whatever?"
"Or whatever." I agree. I'm neither lying or telling the truth.
Again, the weirdness. Faith climbs into bed next to me, the wound in her neck calls to me. It's open and uncovered, no point in band-aids, Slayer healing will take care of it in a couple of hours.
It calls to me, I lean over, and drop a kiss on her neck.
She looks at me, with that quizzical Faith look that I'm beginning to love.
"Forgot to do that earlier." I explain.
She grins from ear to ear. "Night, B."
"Night, F."
Faith's POV
Lyrics are from "Lose Your Way" by Sophie B. Hawkins.
I think she's still asleep. Her eyes are closed, but she's not snoring like a pig, so who knows.
There's a hell of a lot whizzing round my head right now. I climb out of bed and light a cigarette, climbing up on the windowsill.
The sun will be up in a few minutes, I think I've had about three hours sleep since we arrived in Santa Carla, I tell you, the minute we've finished with this gig, I'm taking a vacation, and screw what the Watchers Council think of that. Maybe B will come too.
B. The source of my late night and early morning thoughts. I look at her and wonder what she'll be like when the vampire leaves her. Right now I'm having the best and worst week of my life simultaneously. B's a half vamp, Star – my possible holiday romance – is one too. B and I are getting on amazingly.
More than amazingly. She blew me a kiss, she kissed my neck better and we're acting like we've been friends all our lives. And while this is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me, I'm terrified that it's all come from the vampyness in her. Why would she want to be my friend, or anything else unless something brought her down a peg or two. Something like bloodlust, for instance.
I take a deep drag on my cigarette, and wave to some kid on the street. A song floats up from his stereo, and I find it oddly fitting.
I have no
confidence
And I can't see why I should
But I could do most anything for you
And you know I would
I try too hard then I give up way too easily
I'm the runner-up inside of you
And you're the winner inside of me
Lose your way
And I will follow
Here today
And here tomorrow
Let my freedom, I know
I'll never let you go
I still wish on the evening star
And I s'pose I always will
Every child loses something
A whole life can't fulfil
And when you cry
I feel the sky
Bust open in my veins
Lovin' you makes a slave of me
And I'll spend my whole life in chains
Lose your way
And I will follow
Here today
And here tomorrow
Let my freedom, I know
I'll never let you go
Walk the line
I'll walk inside you
Change your mind
Let your love decide you
It's the reason I know
I'll never let me go
Never let me go... oh no no no no baby
Never let me go... oh no, ain't that right now baby
Lose your way
And I will follow
Here today
And here tomorrow
Let my freedom, I know
I'll never let you go
Walk the line
I'll walk inside you
Change your mind
Let your love decide you
It's the reason I know
I'll never let me go
Buffy's POV
I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Faith. She's sitting on the windowsill in her 'smoking seat', the early morning light filtering in around her makes her look like an angel. I don't know if it's the beauty of Faith or the light that make my eyes water.
"Morning, sunshine." She grins, flips her cigarette out the window and wanders over to me. "How are you feeling?"
"Awful, could you pull the shade down?"
"Sure." Faith hands me a pair of sunglasses off the nightstand. "I'm gonna go downstairs, see if I can get us some coffee and food, you get ready, ok?"
"Ok." She drops a kiss on my forehead.
I remember the last time she did that, it was right after she'd tried to drag Angel over to the dark side. What a difference time can make. She did that then to remind me what I could have had, a way to humiliate me, I guess. She knew I was kinda… ok, a bit of a homophobe and that was a mini payback.
Again, time makes all the difference. I've finally processed all my thoughts about that time in my life, every act of hatred towards Faith was because I didn't want to admit how much I admired her, how much I wanted to be her, and the final revelation came just before I fell asleep: I've finally realised how much I wanted her. Then and now.
I just hope I come out of this as a human so I can tell her.
