Nothing More Sinful – Eva Dahl
Together? Like Together Together?
When Sam opened his eyes he could see the back of Dean's head they'd fallen asleep last night, the exhaustion had won over. Sam moved his hand that surprisingly was rested on Dean's shoulder; he was still sleeping his chest rising slowly, long lashes covering the blinded eyes, a green that was fading. A pain filled Sam's heart he had to get Dean's sight back, how long would that take? What if Amelia leaves him? Familiar worries similar to Stanford.
There was a loud snort as Garth woke up his leg hanging off the couch, he pushed himself up "Morning Sam" he groaned "Morning" Sam smiled his eyes still hadn't left Dean's face the thought of those fading green eyes was filling him with grief. "How's he doing?" Garth moved to sit at the end of the bed "I… I don't know what to do Garth?" Sam sat up diverting his eyes to the floor "We find that light and make it fix him" Garth reasoned. "I have a suspicion but it doesn't make much sense" "We'll figure it out Sam, it'll just take time is all" Sam shook his head this meant his Life was going to be thrown away.
That afternoon Benny had taken Garth to the library and Sam was sorting through the supplies keeping a cautious ear out as Dean had insisted on having a shower. "Dean, what do you want for lunch?" Sam called as he turned the corner of the bathroom shocked to find the bathroom door wide open; Dean was standing under the spray of the water his back facing Sam. "Whatever you're making" "Were you born in a tent?" Sam laughed Dean's head turned toward the door his eyes searching in thought "Oh the door" he worried, "I got it" Sam smiled closing the door slowly.
Having Dean back was a miracle, why couldn't he have Amelia and his life as well? Dean wandered toward the kitchen "Smells like food!" Dean exclaimed in excitement "That'd be because it is" Sam laughed pushing the plate toward him "You're the best Sammy I was so sick of raw fish". "So what happened in Purgatory?" Dean began eating his food telling him the basic story, leaving out some things like how Benny had bitten him as that wouldn't help Sam's trust issues.
"What about you?" Sam took a deep breath "I got out" there was a silence "I met a girl, her names Amelia she took care of me, we started dating and then she offered for me to move in she's a vet and I'd do some odd work" "You looked for us right?" Dean all but whispered, again another silence. "Sammy?" Dean's expression was of hurt, "You were gone Dean, I had nowhere to start, no Bobby nothing" "Cas and I were in Purgatory and you were up here living some Apple Pie Life and forgot about us!" Dean raised his voice now. "That's not it Dean!" "Then what is it Sam!?" Dean had pushed away from the table and turned his back to Sam's voice.
"I had to move on" Dean cringed "You could have tried once, we were still alive down there" "Dean…" "No don't Dean me! You gave up on us!" Sam was building frustration "Dean I am not going to fight with you! I… I just don't want my life to be thrown away again" Dean calmed at that "We're not meant to have it Sam" Sam looked at Dean who had his eyes closed "Dean, I didn't know where you were and I just tried to deal". Dean's hand reached out in search to find him "I'm here" he smiled taking Dean's hand "I know, but you can't have everything Sam, so make up your mind now this…" he squeezed his hand "…or your Apple pie life because I tried having both and all it did was hurt people". "I…" Sam was torn, he thought about what he wanted, what he'd had while Dean was gone was good but he didn't feel love for Amelia, not like the force he felt pulling him toward Dean.
No matter how far he went he would be somehow be back where he started. Dean's eyes opened there was the fading green he pulled Dean to him and held him tight he was making his decision now "I won't lose you again Dean, and I'll be damned if I'll walk away". Dean smiled at that "We can't seem to get away from each other it's like a damn curse" Sam laughed "You're right" Sam moved his hand to grab Dean's lightly he threaded their fingers together pushing his palm lightly against Dean's, Sam smiled and began calmly… "You know why I choose this life…"
"Because we're blood, We shared a Heaven, Ash said that means we're soul mates, we're tied to together in every possible way, because our bond doesn't end at family Dean, I know you can see it, I can feel it, it's like you belong to me, a part of me, you always have been, I was happy with my new life but I can't choose it over you, this what we have it's more important than any perfect life, you need me, Castiel needs me, and that comes before anything in my life Dean, including Amelia".
Dean was speechless at Sam's admission, he squeezed Sam's hand lightly he could feel Sam's piercing stare "I'm sorry I've dragged you away again" Dean was raw, he's defences were down; attitude absent he couldn't rebuild his defences because Sam kept swinging at his emotional wall with a pick axe. "I couldn't have it Dean, but what I can have is this life and you, I guess we can't get away from this life we're inseparable" Sam whispered firmly he was drawing dangerously close to Dean he's grip on reality was wearing away and a primitive possessive power was filling him he couldn't stop he'd never got this far through Dean's defences and now thought maybe he shouldn't have because he was about to go beyond what either of them were capable of handling…
-Nothing More Sinful-
To Be Continued…
