Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight

Chapter 7

Because I Want You

I was slightly anxious. I'm sure I would actually be very anxious if Jasper wasn't using his power on me to try to keep me sane, and calm. Its not like I was trying to be so hyper and just plain anxious. How was I supposed to act when there were non-vegetarian vampires coming? So that's what I was doing, I was sitting in the Cullen's family room while Alice was in a vision and Edward was concentrating really hard on something but I'm not really sure what exactly, to be honest it was kind of freaky. Also Rosalie was acting indifferent but every time I managed to make eye contact with me she would glare daggers at me, and at that moment the saying that went through my head was 'if looks could kill' I shuddered and looked away. Then there was a woman that I haven't et before and she looked very kind and nurturing, she was looking at all her 'children' with a loving glance and when I caught her eye, she smiled and gave me that same look, so even when I didn't belong I really felt like I did. After that one very small moment of affection from Esme I think that was her name, I went right back to trying not to rip my hair out from all these emotions, and inner turmoil coursing through me.

Before I actually went crazy I went back to noticing the small things around the room. Jasper was looking at me with love and concern deep in his honey colored eyes. It was like he was staring into my soul and I, his. I guess any normal person would think it was very unusual for someone to notice such small things about someone and decifer what each little small movement meant but as any normal person could see, I wasn't even in the same caliber of normal. My mother always told me that I was in my own little world, and sometimes I really think that's true, I mean how many people do you know have to deal with vampires that have really strange and unique vampire powers? I could answer that for any sane person, no one.

Once again I was back to what was going on in the room. And also I was still staring into the eyes of Jasper. I didn't know that I could get that lost in his eyes; Ii must have been zoned out for a good five minutes or more because Jasper was looking at me with a furrowed motion in his perfect, neat eyebrows and he looked very concerned. I ignored his look and turned my gaze away to Emmett. Was he always so…big? He had the body structure of a body builder, yet he didn't even have to work out, being a vampire he was strong and muscular by default. Emmett caught me staring, or ogling really and flashed me a suggestive smile, Rosalie saw this and slapped him across the head. He just laughed whole heartedly and brought her on his lap, she squeaked in surprise then when she remembered I was watching in amusement she returned to her indifferent self. I smiled, it was nice how close this family was, and in some ways, I wouldn't tell jasper because he would immediately deny it, but sometimes I feel out of place like Jasper belongs to someone else besides me. I didn't want to continue on that though, being away from Jasper for any length of time was ultimately depressing for me.

Finally Alice snapped back into reality and looked back up at everyone. My panic immediately shot into overdrive and I'm sure everyone could the unsteady rhythm of my heart beating. I noticed at the corner of my eye, that Carlisle flashed me a quick concerned glance then quickly turned away, to hide his own self turmoil. Apparently during my frantic and unhelpful, for Jasper's situation, panic attack I completely missed what Alice said so I was completely confused and I looked at Alice and Jasper, though they quickly covered it up into a blank face, I could clearly see the panic that relied there just a moment ago. I felt really embarrassed and ashamed, for making Alice to have to repeat what she said, since apparently going by the expressions on everyone's faces it definitely wasn't something that anyone wanted to hear again, but I had to know so I could find at least some way to help, I knew I couldn't do much since I was only human but I still wanted to be included.

"Alice, what did you see?" she turned to look at me with the sound of my voice. Then she sighed and everyone left the room except for her, Edward, me and Jasper. Edward looked annoyed; I would have to talk to him about that later, but right now I needed to focus on the matter at hand. "Well I saw that some of our kind, were coming. I think they are just curious," it was obvious she didn't have much faith in her suggestion but she continued. "But regardless they are supposed to be here in a few hours, tops. So we will hide you here and make sure your safe. Me, Emmett, Jasper and Edward will make sure you are safe and no harm comes to you. But if thing come to a fight then we might need to evacuate you." She finished with a solemn voice. I frowned I didn't want them to be in danger. Then at that precise moment, Edward went into a huff and exited to living room to go to his bedroom. I furrowed my brow in confusion. I needed to get to the bottom of this.

"I'm going to go check up on Edward, we have got to settle this matter, because he will have to get used to me being here, whether he likes it or not." I got up to leave but not before I saw the corner of Jaspers lip twitch into a crooked grin and then Alice show an amused smile, I suppose she saw what would happen. I also heard the booming laugh of Emmett upstairs and with that I headed up the stairs. Thanks to the tour Jasper gave me earlier I knew where I was going. I headed to the farthest room on the right from the third story floor, put on a brave face then feebly knocked on the door.

"Come in Bella." He sounded strangely calm and sighed. I guess he was expecting this sooner or later. I walked in and sat on the couch across from his bed. Then I was confused, why would they need beds if they can't even sleep? I almost smacked myself for my stupidity and I blushed a deep scarlet red when I realized what it indeed was for. Edward looked up at me, with a mixture of emotions on his face, ranging from curiosity to, amusement to finally the too original frustration. I had to quickly advert my eyes from him so that I wouldn't completely drown in my embarrassment.

"Look Edward I didn't come in here to make a fool of myself so I'm going to get straight to the point." He gave me a rare smile and it was good encouragement for me to keep going. I took a deep breath then, continued but I looked away from his face. "Edward I want to know why you hate me so much, or why you are in a good mood then when I come into the room you get moodier than a hormonal pregnant woman. Or why you're always so frustrated at me. I didn't even do anything. Have you even considered that you always acting so cold to me hurt my feelings? Because it does." Then I couldn't help the small tear that worked my way down my face. I felt horrible and I didn't realize how much him hating me hurt me. Then before I knew it Edward carefully came and wrapped his arms around me, I cried into his chest and he rubbed comforting, soothing circles on the small of my back. I breathed a ragged breath and looked back up at him, then before I even could comprehend what was happening he leaned forward and kissed me. This could not be happening! I loved Jasper and I would remain faithful, and what was he doing? He had Alice, and he always acted cold to me why the sudden attitude change? Then I realized I was still kissing him back and I quickly pulled away from him. I got up and moved to the bed and wrapped my arms around myself. Then I got more tears in my eyes. How could he do this? I already had enough problems. I had to worry about Jasper and Alice, the vampires that were coming and now Edward. I frowned and looked up at Edward.

"Why did you do that Edward?" I asked softly, and my voice sounded so small and unsure, I hated it. "Because I want you." He said simply. I made and audible gasp and looked at him, he had the same look that Jasper gave me. No no no no and no, this can not be happening, I thought. Then I looked back up at him frown still I place. "What about Alice Edward? Did you think of how much this would hurt her? And what about your family did you think how that would affect him?" He thought about that for a while then instantly frowned. I laughed a bitter, humorless laugh. I guess he didn't figure this out. Once again I looked up at him. "Edward you can't love me, you just can't it's not right, it can never be. I love Jasper not you Edward, I'm so very sorry." I said in the softest voice I could manage, I really did not want to hurt him.

I really didn't want to look up at his face and see all the pain, but apparently I was starting to turn into a masochist. So I looked up, big mistake, very big mistake. His facial expression was even worse than I thought It would be, he looked so sad, it was truly heartbreaking. I'm sure that if he could cry than he surely would be bawling his eyes out. I went up to comfort him, I couldn't just do not do anything; it wasn't in my nature, to just sit back and let people get hurt, I had to find some way to help him. When I got closer to him I wrapped my arms around him. But he stopped me. "Don't Bella, please don't." and with that being said he quickly before my eyes could even register what happened he vanished and I was all by myself. I sighed a long depressed sigh and made my way back down the stairs. That was when I remembered something. Esme would surely be able to help me, as nurturing and motherly as she is. I walked into her and Carlisle's room it was a beige color and had a desk in the right corner of the and in the left corner of the room was a nice leather recliner where Carlisle sat reading one of his medical volumes. Esme was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed reading a home decorater magazine.

They both looked curious as to what I was doing in there room but they smiled in welcome nonetheless. "Can I please talk to you Esme?" I asked and my voice still sounded broken from all of the crying I did earlier. She looked deeply concerened but nodded and followed me out the room. I walked into their office so we could have some privacy. I heard her come quietly in behind me and she quietly closed the door behind her and came by my side. I didn't even have enough time to start the calming process and get my self together enough for me to speak properly before I dropped to the ground and cried. I cried for all the messed up problems I had and how nothing seems to go right. I cried for Alice and the rest of the family that would have to suffer from Edwards actions and then I cried for myself, why did this have to happen to me? I heard Esme gasp quietly and softly mutter "Oh dear." Then she dropped down to my level took me in her cold arms and rocked me back in forth like my mom used to do when I was upset or sad.

I ruined another shirt today, perfect. I finally calmed myself down enough for me to speak to her. "I'm sorry I ruined your shirt Esme." I gave out another humorless laugh. She laughed with me but hers was whole hearted, I guess she was glad that she could make me stop crying. "Its okay dear, I'm just glad your stating to feel better, your pulse is even back to a steady beat, so why don't you tell me what's wrong and I will try to help you in any way I can." She sounded so sincere and loving; I really didn't deserve this family not in the slightest. I sniffled then straightened up, took a deep breath, because I would definitely need it and I started to tell her.

"Well when I was going to ask Edward why he had a problem with me, I started to cry since I realized how much he really hurt me, then he came and gave me a comforting hug, or so I thought. But then when I finally calmed down enough and was going to thank him, he kissed me. When I asked him why he did that he said it was because he wanted me and then he gave me that special look that Jasper always gives me. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do when two great people love me. And since they are both your 'sons' I thought that you would be able to help with my problem, and the best way to solve it."

She patiently waited and listened to what I had to say and rubbed soothing circles on my back, and wiped away the few tears that escaped my eyes while I was explaining. Then she finally spoke, and to my surprise and relief she wasn't angry, but understanding. "Well Bella who do you love more?" and I thought about that then realized that I loved both of them, I frowned I really wish this wasn't happening to me. "Both" she nodded then gave me an encouraging smile and continued. "then tell them Bella, I'm sure they will understand."

I smiled. That's just what I needed to do. And as I came to my epiphany the three words Edward had said to me flashed in my mind. Because I want you. It was so simple and made so much sense, but I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring, and then a feral snarl….

A/N I know I just couldn't resist I had to make some drama between Edward and Bella. Also the chapter title was inspired by the song Because i want you by Placebo. Well review!!