Hey guys remember that one time i had a fanfic?

Me neither!

But for real though

Sorry that i haven't been updating recently, i assure you i have a good reason

I have a job now, school started up again, i got myself a boyfriend to pound my muffin, I've been writing an actually serious story (which you guys probably won't ever see) also I'm in an extreme amount of pain!

Anyways let's get this done before i decide to do something else


It was early in the morning and the only thing that could be heard was the distinct sound of someone yelling through food "MMMMPPPPHHHHHAAAAAA" it was Ruby fucking screaming into her breakfast like a psycho

"Like why are you, like, screaming?" yang was also there

in an attempt to answer the question quickly ruby tried to swallow alll her food "KAGH" she obviously choked... and coughed... and coughed "... just expressing my hatred of your existence you fucking living siesure" totally saved 100% legit my dude

"why do you like, have to like, be like that?" this woman could kill a family with her cringe

"because my only sister tries her best to make my life a living fucking nightmare" valid point indeed

*phone sound*

*other phone sound*

"well well well look at that a reason to not talk to you" * clicky clacky sound* "youve reached the phone of unreconized talent leave a message after the prank fam"

~"hello? is this miss ruby rose?"~

"yeah!"

~"im just calling to inform you that the bullheads to beacon launch in an hour"~

"neat"

~"... enjoy your semester"~

*what are phones?*

"like, who was like, that?"

"a person fuck off"

and so the initiation day of beacon academy #gotgettingstartedbegining (please make that a real tag i will cry)


ruby and yang barely made it on time... almost entirly due to the fact that the appartment they share is only like a block away

yang was... somewhere on the bullhead while ruby was... sitting on a chair staring out the window which was likely due to the fact that before she was a small adorable MINOR she was a borderline pschitsophrenic with... far too many conditions to count

cue #theforshadowing "in other news this saturdays faunus civil rights protest turned dark when members of the white fang disrupted the ceremony, the once peaceful organization has disrupted-" the extremly out of place woman was cut off by everyones favorite boobed professor

"hello and welcome to beacon, my name is Glynda Goodwitch. You are amoung a privledged few who have received the honour of being selected to attend this prestigious academy-" at this point ruby tuned out... she was never big on speaches

Ruby then precided to think about dinning on some carpets and smashing lips... She may or may not have gotten so focused on these things that she tuned out the entire ride... Nobody has to know about that though

*literally what does door make sound?*

The bullhead the new students were riding landed and students started filing out... well most were at least... "Blough" gross

"what if i tried going for someone unexpected? Like maybe... Uh... Cinder?.. No wait that would be very expected shit" as ruby continued her strange thoughts she happened to forget about one of the most important scenes from episode one

*tripping noise?*

luckily ruby managed to save herself from smashing her face into the concrete... she didn't manage to stop her self from face planting into a pair of breasts though "Hey watch where you're going" dun dun dun it was the mega bitch herself

"well well well if it isnt the abomitable ice bitch herself" oh shit dude nice that's like a solid ten points on christmass holocaust

"W-What? How dare you! Do you even know who i am?" instead of retaliating the new arrival decided to start with the questions

"course i do white supremacy" oh shit a blow right to her pride straight in the family fuck "you sell people dust or some shit right?" oh and she keeps going

"Wha-i-I'll have you know we are far more than just a dust company!" oh man she was triggered... Badly

"listen baby spare me the speech alright" with a simple finger to the lips ruby begun the hunt "a school full of teens doing nothing but studying and killing monsters" ruby lowered her finger and drew closer to Weiss as she spoke "surely that gets unbearable at some point... Right?"


Weiss was more than a little confused

This random little girl, who probably didn't even belong at Beacon, had started insinuating she would do such a vulgar thing "L-Listen here i have no intention of doing something like that" Weiss stated as she pushed the girl back

The instant her hand met the girls chest "how cruel!" She yelled in a dramatic manor as she leaped back "for my love to have forsaken me so" She cried dramatically as she started walking away

"... Excuse me?" It took Weiss a moment to realise what was happening "... Hold on!" She was angry that someone would go that far for something like this "Did you seriously say all that just so you could get out of saying sorry?!"

"oh shit the cops! quick eat the drugs!" The strange girl screamed as she started to run away

"Hey get back here!" In Weiss's eagerness to catch the girl she forgot about the luggage at her feet "Wah!" And face planted into the cement


well that was fucking dumb "finna make a book about the stupid shit that happens when im around" ruby spoke to herself somemore... crazy fuck

as if decread by the god of ineptitude ruby once again tripped while not paying atention... And by tripped i meant she slamed her body into another student "again?" she asked out loud

"Are you okay?" asked the man infront of her who turned out to be Jaune

"i am a god" ruby stated as she did the action movie jump up thing off the ground "your chest cannot hurt me"

"Uh... Alright" Jaune was visibly worried for her mental health... I don't blame him "Well uh... I'm Jaune" he reached out his hand waiting for a shake "And you are?"

ruby grabbed his hand "names ruby kid" she violently shook his hand making him stumble "you can call me boss though" she let go and Jaune nearly fell over... how weak?

"Boss?" Jaune questioned "Why boss?"

taking a break from wondering how hard this year would be for Jaune ruby decided she would answer the poor guys question "because one I'm better than you" Jaune deflated a bit "two because i'm gonna make you into a champion"

Jaune looked surprised "Wait what? Why me?" i guess he expected to be the punching bag

"because you got potential my boy" ruby adopted the tone of a friendly grandpa for this one "i see you doing great things in the future" she gave him a smirk and held out her hand "Jaune you could change the world if you tried... be my friend and i'll help you unlock your power"


This thing i do where i don't finish chapters in a reasonable amount of time needs to stop

I hope you enjoyed this years installment of "shitty meme fic 9000"

Peace peace