A/N: Hello, friends. Been a while. This chapter was a doozie. A lot happens, and don't hate me for it. Enjoy :)
Chapter 6: The Ice is Getting Thinner
The next day
Chloe Beale trudged into class, taking her usual seat located behind Alex. She forced a smile toward the brunette, receiving one in return. Last night, she was out past ten because she was with Alex. They had spent the entire evening together, at Kona's, working on their project and Chloe caved to helping the brunette with her term paper topic. Alex remained true to her word, never once asking Chloe why she sounded so upset on the phone. While Chloe appreciated it, she was also kind of disappointed. She was hoping that if they got onto the topic of her and Beca, it would fall back to her and Alex and why the ginger had developed weird trust issues. But, Beca never came up.
Professor Karwick began lecture, and Chloe tried her best to pay attention but her mind was whirling. She abode to Beca's wishes, not calling her. Her girlfriend had been at the back of her mind since their argument. Chloe felt torn. Part of her wanted to talk to her and work this out, but part of her was reluctant to do so, fearing it would only result in Beca growing more annoyed and upset leading to a possible break in their relationship. In addition to her uncertainty of when to talk to her girlfriend, Chloe also really confused on how she felt toward Alex. Last night, she expected feelings of awkwardness and resentment, but they never appeared.
Instead, Chloe did feel distracted. Alex was her usual self, making the redhead laugh and engaging her in interesting conversation. When Chloe got to Kona's, Alex had her favorite drink order already there, a chai latte, and of course, her own. The skinny vanilla latte with cinnamon. She was also wearing that perfume. Alex was, for lack of a better phrase, a perfect gentleman.
Chloe sneaked glances at Alex the entire class period. She pretending to follow along with the lecture, but couldn't stop herself from staring. Alex was incredibly beautiful and she never even tried. The way her threw her hair up in a messy bun, letting a few pieces frame her face. How she had to keep pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose every so often, her hazel eyes focused on her notebook. And her full smile, a smile that took Chloe down memory lane.
The redhead was jolted out of her daze when Dr. Karwick dismissed lecture. The brunette stood to leave, Chloe watching intently and nervously. She also stood, and tugged on Alex's sweater. The brunette turned around, and beamed. "Hey, Chlo. Did you get the copy of the revised outline I sent you?"
"Uhm, yeah, I did."
"Okay, great. So, I was thinking maybe this weekend we can bang out that powerpoint presentation?" Alex's voice was enthralling. Her smile only emphasized the little dimples dotting her cheeks, and the small freckle above them on the right. Chloe had loved those features when they were together.
"Uh-uhm, sure," Chloe paused, "Do you wanna grab lunch before Carson's lec?" She felt her cheek flush, and almost immediately regretting asking the question. She wasn't entirely sure why she asked it. And she knew it wasn't her best idea. Then again, Chloe Beale had run fresh out of good ideas lately.
Alex grinned ear to ear, "Yeah, I'd like that."
Aubrey was on her lunch break at work, reading up on the new evidence filed against their defendant. She wanted to be prepared when she sat in on Wyatt's afternoon conference. She took a bite of salad, when her phone buzzed in on the table.
Stacie: So, what are the chances ur coming over after work? ;)
Aubrey rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips.
Aubrey: What's in it for me?
Stacie: Anything u want
Aubrey: You.
The blonde bit her lip, a little shy at her directness. She waited for a response, eating her salad and looking through the files, feeling slightly distracted. Last night, after a shared bath (which didn't last long), Aubrey gave in. She and Stacie had sex. Multiple times. And it was amazing. Stacie was very talented.
In the morning, she didn't regret it. It felt good, physically and mentally. Stacie had gotten up and dressed when Aubrey did, ensuring the blonde didn't feel like it was a mistake and when the coast was clear, she said goodbye, kissing the blonde on the cheek before she left. It was all surprisingly casual.
Stacie: U can have me any way u want.
Aubrey's cheeks tinged pink and was about to reply when a hearty, booming voice interrupted her. "Aubrey Posen, just the girl I'm looking for!" Wyatt bellowed into the lunch room. He pulled out a chair for himself, scooting next to the blonde, and examining the files in front of her.
"Uhm, is there something you need, Wyatt?" Aubrey asked politely, shoving her phone in her pocket.
"I just wanted to point some things out to you before the meeting," Wyatt began. He dragged on for about ten minutes, emphasizing the newly developed evidence. "Now, even though these pictures are grainy, it's fairly evident the logo on the shirt. Carlos has the same shirt, and considering his past record, things are looking dismal. It's not enough to convict and we're going to ride on that. However, today we're discussing the possibility of plea bargain."
"Do you really think Carlos will like that idea?" Aubrey pondered, flipping through the photos.
Wyatt sighed heavily, like he had a big weight on his chest. His blue eyes scanned the room, as if trying to come up with an explanation or words to verbalize the complexity of the situation. In this split moment, Aubrey saw past the gelled-back hair, mega watt smile and seemingly-fake demeanor. She saw sincerity. And it took her by surprise. "Does Carlos even have a choice at this point?"
Wyatt drummed his fingers on the table. "It's not always what the client wants. It's what we can get. And, right now, a plea bargain is looking like our best option. Carlos is a good guy on the inside, and he was doing what he had to to provide for his family. But, that doesn't disregard that fact that he broke the law."
Aubrey sighed this time. She had met their client, Carlos, only on a couple occasions and genuinely felt bad for him. "I just feel sorry for his children."
Wyatt gave her a comforting look, one she didn't expect. He then proceeded to place a light hand on her knee, advancing it only a few centimeters before speaking again. "All we can do is try to shorten his jail time and hope he gets out for good behavior."
The blonde smiled and nodded, unsure of what to do. Her boss's hand was on her leg. And it didn't feel appropriate, yet she wasn't sure if the gesture was comforting like a pat on the shoulder, or something more. Perhaps, she was reading the signals wrong, but the way Wyatt gawked at her made her feel like her radar was on point. She cleared her throat, "What time is the meeting again?"
Wyatt instantly removed his hand, placing it is heavily on the table top. "Thirty minutes. I'll see you in there." He stood to leave and turned to face her. "And Aubrey?"
"Uh, y-yes?"
"Could you fetch me one of those iced coffees from downstairs? You know what I like," Wyatt said with a wink, a tad condescendingly. "Oh, and a banana nut muffin. See you in thirty." He spun on his expensive, leather soles and was out the door, his previously soft, tender voice transformed into the typical manly tone. Aubrey scoffed audibly, wondering how one person, whom she perceived to be completely materialistic and superficial, could resort to a gentleman and then right back into a corporate jerk moments later. She rolled her eyes and began packing her files, shooting a text to Stacie before heading to the downstairs cafe.
Aubrey: I'll see you tonight. Xxx
Jesse was on his way to the station, using every ounce of energy he could muster into not thinking about Beca. Not think about how he missed her. After last night, he'd been wondering what she meant by "I miss you". Was it the same kind of 'miss' he was thinking of, or just a general kind of miss. And why did he care?
After Beca fell asleep last night, Jesse spent most of the early morning hours tossing and turning. He reminded himself over and over again that Beca had no feelings for him, that she broke up with him months ago for Chloe. That she chose Chloe. And, if he was being honest with himself, he almost felt like Beca's abnormal physical affection towards him was in spite of Chloe. And as that thought grew, he felt worse. Used. Was Beca using him as some sort of revenge? Chloe was hung up on her ex, so Beca was teaching her a lesson?
No, that couldn't be it. Beca would never do that. Right?
He entered the station and spied Beca in the DJ booth, doing her thing. He nodded toward her and she waved, in the middle of speaking into the microphone. Putting on some other chart topper, she came out of the booth and slid next to him. "'Sup, dude?"
"Uh, not much. Had a quiz in Western Lit, you?" He leaned against the desk, nervously tapping his fingers against the wood. It wasn't that he was necessarily upset with Beca, he just had a weird feeling of apprehension, uneasiness, or something.
Beca bounced awkwardly on the balls of her feet, picking at her chipped maroon nail polish. "Just class and work, nothing exciting."
"Have you talked to Chloe?" Jesse asked cautiously.
The DJ bit her lip, nervously tucking her dark hair behind her ears. "No... not since yesterday. Since our fight. I don't even know what I would say."
"Just be honest," Jesse shrugged. He tried to read her, but as usual, reading Beca Mitchell was not easy. She obviously appeared upset, but she was more stand offish than the previous night. He didn't know why, but wondered if last night's moment of need of comfort was just that... a moment.
"Ha, yeah, that'll turn out super well. 'Hey, Chlo, I think you still have a thing for your ex, and we should take a break because you piss me off to no other end.' Yeah, that'd be stupid. No, I can't talk to her just yet." Her tone was indifferent and sarcastic. Jesse wouldn't be surprised on a typical day, but when it came to Chloe, Beca was serious yet caring.
"You really thing she has a thing for her ex?"
"Jess, I don't know." Now, she just sounded defeated.
Jesse regretted the next sentence out of his mouth immediately, his ears burning with embarrassment. "Maybe she thinks you have a thing for your ex still, too."
Beca narrowed her eyes, "Are you fucking serious? You're supposed to be on my side!" She sneered. It was a one-eighty. She went from projecting ambivalence to complete irritation.
Jesse backed up, his hands up in defense. "Whoa, I'm just... Look, remember my high school girlfriend? Katie? Well, when we were dating she was friends with her ex and it caused a lot of problems between us. He was always texting her, hanging out with her, and touching her, and then one day I saw them making out in the locker room-"
"So, I'm bound to cheat?" Beca thwarted.
"No, that's not what I'm saying! I'm saying that I understand why Chloe feels the way she feels, and getting burned before doesn't help. Maybe you should cut her some slack-"
Beca rolled her eyes dramatically. "Cutting her slack? That would mean ending our friendship. Is that cool with you?" She asked sarcastically, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.
Jesse ran a hand through his hair, "No, but maybe sleeping over in my bed isn't adding to the solution."
"You let that happen! Don't sit there and make Chloe's insecurities my problem!" She said in disbelief.
"It is your problem, she's your girlfriend!" Jesse argued back.
"Whatever, dude. You're supposed to have my back."
Jesse let out a heavy sigh. This wasn't how he pictured spending his afternoon at work. He hated having Beca mad at him, but the reality of the situation was, he wasn't willing to get in the middle of their relationship. He reminded Beca how he'd been there before, and he was honest when he said it sucked. But, whatever rebellious act Beca was trying to attempt against her commitment to Chloe, conscious or subconscious, Jesse knew better than to allow his involvement. "Becs, I do have your back. I just feel bad, like I added to this somehow, and I don't want to get involved-"
"So, you're suddenly Chloe's biggest fan because you feel guilty? You don't think I feel bad about this, too? Still a heartless bitch, right? Then, fuck you. Fuck Chloe. I've got a set to finish, then I'm outta here." She spun on her heels, back to the booth.
Jesse called out after her, "Beca, come on. Don't be like this! I'm only trying to help!"
Beca stopped in the doorway, and turning her head slightly to the side. "You can help by stacking CDs."
Jesse cringed when the booth's door slammed shut, and shook his head despairingly when she forced the blinds shut. Beca barricaded herself in the booth, guarding against any intruder. When Beca let her walls down, it was a truly beautiful site. But, when she forced them back up, it scared him. While their argument wasn't exactly the worst they've ever had, Jesse couldn't help but feel a little blue about it.
He trudged over to the rock section of the station, setting his bag down with a soft thud. He plugged his earphones into his cell, selecting a playlist. He would never admit to pouting, but he put on a playlist that was heavily saturated with The Smiths and Death Cab for Cutie. He wasn't sure what to do. Beca was resorting to her former 'I hate the world' behavior, and Jesse was very sure disturbing her further would only send her retreating into the Beca cave. So, all the brown-haired boy could really do was stack CDs and hope Beca would eventually understand his reluctance to involve himself. Then again, being Jesse, he was incredibly loyal and would go to the ends of the earth for the DJ. But, where was the line between being loyal and being in love? Was there a line? And if so, had Jesse crossed it yet again?
It was a complex question that plagued him as he alphabetized the alternative rock section of the station all afternoon, sappy rock blaring in his ears and a feeling of heaviness weighing on his shoulders. Every once in a while, he glanced toward the booth, hoping to catch a glimpse of Beca. But, after her shift was up and Luke came to replace her for the evening, the last Jesse saw of Beca was the tail of her plaid shirt flapping behind her as she raced out of the station, headphones on, destination isolation.
Chloe didn't want to. She had been thinking it since lunch, and it bothered her to her very core that she was about to do it. After spending so much time with Alex, her intoxicating scent, laugh and personality taunting her, she had to do it. She had cried on the way home from class, completely distraught by the yet to happen but inevitable act. She hated herself for it. It was so inconceivably stupid. She was already on Beca's shit list, and if the DJ ever found out, the damage was unthinkable. Chloe was fairly certain, if Beca ever found out, she would end things right then and there. Yet, the redhead felt compelled to continue with her plot.
She felt the same way she did during freshman year. Addicted. Just a little taste of Alexandria Desparta had her wanting more. She didn't understand why she could just not feel this way. She understood that Alex had always influenced her, always drew her in. It was manipulative, and as much as she wanted to fight it, she always gave in. Even years later with a great girlfriend at her side. Alex was that girl that everyone wanted and everyone wanted to be. She was rebellious, smart and witty, sexy, and at rare moments, loving. In fact, she reminded Chloe a lot like Beca.
But Beca was different. Different in the best of ways. She was dorky, and beyond musically talented. Determined and strong, despite whats airs she put on. Beca wasn't afraid to take a chance, she was just often afraid of getting let down. And getting abandoned, forgotten and left behind. Chloe couldn't help but feel a twisting knot form in her stomach as she realized, she was becoming Beca's worst nightmare. This feeling of guilt, shame, and cruelty lead her to a drive through liquor store where she purchased a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Waiting until she was in her drive way, Chloe twisted off the cap and immediately took a few swigs. She felt a few tears slip from her eyes, almost choking on the warm whiskey washing over her tongue. She caught her reflection in the rearview mirror. These thoughts, and actions... She was forcing herself into an episode of great self-destruction, but even worse, was putting her relationship on the line for a few moments of impulsiveness. The rushing feeling of doing something you know isn't right, and the trailing reminder that consequences lie ahead.
She knew she was wrong. She knew this whole Alex thing was fucking with her head. She hated that she hadn't spoken to Beca in over twenty-four hours. But, she was being pulled into two different directions. One, what she should be doing, and two, what she let herself do. It was a disturbing cycle. It was addiction. Addiction to something that was once appealing, and someone that once controlled her. Chloe sighed heavily in the driver's seat, shoving the bottle in her purse and resting her head on the steering wheel. As much as she tried to fill her thoughts of the good times with Beca, like their first date, or the first time they slept together, it all circled back to the same idea that had first arose when she said her goodbye to Alex and climbed into her car. It all circled back to a particular item housed in the deep trenches of her closet. An item she desperately and ashamedly wanted right now.
She made a quick exit from her car, bouncing quietly up the stairs, in a hurry to get to her room unnoticed. A light danced beneath Aubrey's bedroom door, but she crept slowly to her room. When Chloe Beale opened her rather large walk-in closet, she knew exactly which plastic bin held the item she was seeking. The grey bin with the pink lid. The one slightly covered in a layer of dust which held every Barden University associated apparel she ever owned or found. With a loud grunt and a partial sob, she took the bin down from the closet shelf, letting it fall with a heavy thump. She wiped away her sniffles as she tore off the lid. The floating dust caused her to sneeze uncontrollably, and tears remained in her eyes.
Inside, a wave of Barden pride splashed at her and a momentary smile broke on her face. Seeing the old memorabilia of her younger years at Barden was a momentary warm welcoming, but knowing the item she sought was at the bottom brought her back to reality. She neatly removed the stacks of shirts, shorts, flags, and other clothing items from the bin, setting them gently on the closet floor and bit her lip when the said item was unveiled. It was a Barden Classics sweatshirt.
The dark green sweatshirt was dull but it's embroidered gold letters still shone brightly. She carefully lifted it from the bottom, and let it unfold in front of her eyes. Tears flooded along the brim of her eyes as the familiar scent wafted from the almost four year old item. She buried her face into the sweatshirt, crying and whimpering at how familiar the smell was and how good it still smelled. The scent and feel of the sweatshirt made her feel a form of guilty happiness and sad misery. She inhaled deeply, not seemingly able to get enough of the intoxicating perfume that was Alexandria Desparta.
She reluctantly dropped the sweatshirt into her lap and cried into her hands. Here she was, crying into an ex's sweater while she had many items of Beca's clothing littering her room and laundry basket. You are fucked up, Inner Chloe scolded. She lifted the green sweatshirt and threw it into the corner. "Fuck!" She screamed. "Fucking fuck! Fuck you!"
She sat for a few more minutes, crying sloppy tears into hands and filled with regret. She should have left that sweater where it was. Her ears perked up when heard a soft thud coming from outside her room. A second noise was confirmation enough that Aubrey was home. Although the redhead hadn't really seen or spoken to the blonde for the last day or so, she needed someone to confide all her shitty feelings to. She would always be honest with Aubrey, the blonde could read her like a book, seeing right past any attempt at a lie. However, she also knew Aubrey would only scold her, lecturing how awful Alex was and advocating for Beca. But, maybe that's what Chloe needed. Someone to bring her back to reality, tell her what a horrible person she was, remind her of her amazing girlfriend, and set her straight. "God, that's so fucked up," Chloe whined at her own thoughts. But, she mentally prepared for a lecture, knowing she needed someone right now. And Aubrey was always her person.
She tip-toed into the hallway, another odd noise coming from behind Aubrey's door. She didn't really hesitate before opening the door, a look of shock and humiliation painting her face as soon as she did. "OHMYFUCKINGGOD!"
Two figures peered up at her from Aubrey's bed. The blonde herself, and their mutual friend Stacie. The brunette was mostly dressed, her body and hands nestled between the bra-clad blonde's bare, naked legs. Chloe gasped, her hand over her mouth. "Holy, fuck. Oh, my- I-I, god," was all she managed to get out before slamming the door shut. She scurried back to her room, shutting her own door with force and covering her eyes, attempting to get the visual out of her mind.
She was trembling. Except, she wasn't sure if it was from her own twisted emotions, or the extremely awkwardness she felt after witnessing her friends engaged in the mattress mambo. She was trying to figure an escape plan in her head, grabbing her purse, Alex's sweater, and her keys, but when she opened the door she was faced with a pair of deep green eyes. "Chlo, I can explain-"
Chloe only shook her head, "Save it, Brey. It's fine, I don't care. I gotta go-" She avoided Stacie's sly glare from Aubrey's doorway, as she tried to move past the towering blonde.
"No, Chlo, you don't understa- wait, are you crying?" Aubrey said, putting her embarrassing moment on the back burner. Chloe's mascara had run down her cheeks, and her chest was pink and lips quivering. She had her bag and keys in one hand, and what looked like a Barden sweatshirt in the other. "Chloe?"
"It's fine, I'm fine. I'm fine," Chloe repeated, squeezing her eyes shut, hugging the contents in her arms closer to her body, attempting to hide behind them. She felt Aubrey's grip on her forearm. "Brey, I said I don't care-"
"I do care." Aubrey declared assertively. She tugged on Chloe's arm, forcing the redhead to look at her. "What is wrong?"
Chloe glanced back and forth between her two tall friends. Aubrey had managed to throw on a top and bottoms, Stacie put her hair in a ponytail and leaned in the door frame. "Yeah... I'm gonna go, Brey. I'll, uh, call you later. Feel better, Chlo-"
The redhead shot her a panicked look. "Where's Beca been?"
The tall brunette seemed caught off-guard, figuring her presence wasn't needed in this bestie moment. "Uh, work. School? Holed up in that cave of hers, working on mixes-"
"Has she been with Jesse?" Chloe asked carefully.
Stacie looked to Aubrey for instruction, but the blonde shrugged her shoulders. "I-I don't know. I thought she's been over here-"
"What? What do you mean?" Chloe felt her stomach turn.
"Well... I thought she spent the night here last night... she didn't come home, so I just figured," Stacie said, cautiously. She wasn't about to lie to Chloe. Stacie Knapp was many things, but she was definitely not a liar. However, in this moment she did feel a little confused.
"Fuck," whispered Aubrey.
Stacie observed as Chloe's features seemed to melt. The tall brunette put two and two together, figuring there was some big feud between her two friends she was unaware of. Something dealing with Jesse, or Beca being with Jesse. She bit her lip nervously. Unsure what to do, she just mumbled something about leaving, and the former Bellas allowed her to do just that.
Chloe's lip trembled harder, waves of tears ready to spill onto her already sticky cheeks. "Do you think Beca was with Jesse?"
Aubrey sighed, sadly. "Yes, but I don't think anything happened, Chlo. What's going on between you two?"
The redhead whimpered, tears dancing down her face and onto her shirt. She backed into her room, plopping onto her bed and crying softly into her hands. Aubrey rubbed her back, whispering words of comfort in that special way a best friend does for another. Once Chloe regained control of herself, she peered up at the blonde. "Me. I'm what's wrong. I'm fucked up, Brey."
Aubrey only shook her head, kissing the redhead on her forehead. "Chlo, no, you're not. I'm sure this isn't just you. What happened?"
"We got into a fight yesterday. We've barely seen each other all week, and when I went to her house, she was with Jesse. Hugging him. Not just a friend hug, but a dating hug and I got so upset with her-"
"Understandable-"
"She kept saying how I had issues because of Alex, and Alex was holding me back from trusting her-"
"Beca Mitchell was saying you had trust issues, oh, that's rich," Aubrey said sarcastically, already plotting what she would say to that little midget.
Chloe took a shaky breath, knowing she was at fault and unhappy that Aubrey was so quick to jump to conclusions. "So, I said I didn't trust her around Jesse."
Aubrey leaned back, a confused expression gracing her features. "Seriously? Chloe, that girl is so in love with you it's insane. She would never- if anything he would try something," she reassured, holding onto Chloe's damp and mascara-stained hand.
The ginger shook her head, letting more tears fall. "I should have never said that. I know she wouldn't. But, I hate the way he looks at her, and touches her, like he thinks they still belong together, and I-I was just so angry. I felt like she was right. I let Alex do this to us-"
"Whoa, slow down. What does Alex even have to do with this?" Aubrey said, suddenly confused.
"I-well, she and I, you know we're in class together. I feel like I see her everywhere. And then yesterday we got paired to do an assignment-"
"Chloe, please don't tell me-"
"I was so angry, Brey. And hurt. And confused." Chloe confessed, hanging her head low.
Aubrey pinched the bridge of her nose tightly. "You met up with her last night, didn't you? That's why you didn't get home until late?" Chloe merely nodded, completely ashamed. Damn, Aubrey knew her well. "Chloe, please, please, for the love of God, tell me you didn't sleep with her?"
"No, I didn't sleep with her. But, I feel guilty all the same," the ginger mumbled out, readying herself for an Aubrey Posen lecture.
What she didn't expect, was for Aubrey to take her hand and hold it gently. The blonde used her other hand to move Chloe's chin, forcing the redhead to meet her eyes. "Hey, we're gonna figure this out. And everything's gonna be okay, alright?"
The only response Chloe could muster up was more crying, her best friend whispering soothing words into her ears as she let go of all her emotions.
Beca Mitchell stomped on the hard pavement, her footsteps matching the beat that was floating from her headphones and into her ears. She had walked all though campus, not having a destination in sight, but somehow she ended up here. She peered up at the massive building in front of her. The Arts Center. She trudged past the art students, keeping her head low and weaving in and out. She bound up the stairs, ignoring the burning in her thighs after nine flights of stairs. Out of breath, and feeling a little sweaty, she burst through the rooftop door, the cooler air calming her lungs.
She took a lot of deep breaths, moving her headphones from her ears and resting them around her neck. She bent over, bracing her hands on her knees and as she caught her breath. She scanned the rooftop, keeping an eye out for the gardening club. A little twinge of disappoint over came her when she didn't see a familiar redhead leaning against the bordering brick wall.
She figured Chloe wouldn't be here, but it didn't take away the hope that she would be.
Beca perched herself on bench, mentally and physically exhausted. It was quiet here. A still silence that she desperately needed. She unplugged her headphones, turning her phone off, and rested her head against the wooden back of the bench. She stared into the strangely dimmed sky, thoughts racing through her head.
Sitting, stewing in her own thoughts, was enough to drive her insane. The longer she spent staring at the sky wondering what the fuck was going on with her and Chloe, the more anxious she felt. The bad kind of anxious. And although she really hated taking them, she dug an emergency Xanax from her backpack, dry swallowing it. She didn't feel like a true panic attack was coming on, but she just needed to slow down.
She struggled placing one event at blame for her feelings of anger. She finally came to the realization that it was many things. She was upset at three people: Chloe, Jesse, and herself.
Obviously, Chloe didn't trust her around Jesse, despite what she said to contradict it. While Beca knew it stemmed from Alex, she couldn't help but feel Chloe was a little right. She was friendly with Jesse, and while it wasn't necessarily intentional, she didn't try to not do it either. It just was. And maybe it shouldn't be. Maybe, that's what Chloe and Jesse actually agreed on. In addition, Chloe's fixation on her ex was equally irritating.
With Jesse, Beca knew he was so reluctant to get involved because she had hurt him so badly before. It wasn't fair to indirectly ask Jesse for his help, but he was her best friend. She hated that she couldn't share the important things in life with him. It didn't feel fair to either of them. So, maybe she shouldn't be mad at Jesse after all. She knew he'd go to the moon and back for her, and that's what he always did. In reality, she had no reason to be mad at him. He always complied to her feelings, whether she wanted to be left alone or wanted to be held and comforted. If she put aside her frustrations, she realized he was actually being a model best friend. And the person she shouldn't be taking her aggression out on.
The other person who was at fault was herself. She allowed herself to behave inappropriately with Jesse, and for what? Because someone said not to? It was her typically rebellious behavior rearing its ugly head. And while she knew Chloe was open about her needs, she knew the redhead also hated conflict. Maybe if Beca had been more intuitive, she would have known Chloe had concerns about her ex being around. As much as Beca knew she had to be more open, there was still a part of her that she guarded. Would she ever be able to truly let her walls down? She had come so far this past year, and here she was on a rooftop by herself sulking in her own angsty pool of self hatred. She sighed heavily, feeling worn down. "This fucking sucks," she mumbled to no one in particular.
Beca looked out on the campus life below her. People bustled about, running from class to class, completely unaware of the alt girl emotionally suffering on the Arts Center rooftop.
A/N: So... What'd you think? REVIEW please! I've started on the next chapter, but as always, predictions are entertaining to me :D So much going on here... Chloe and Alex, Beca and Jesse, Aubrey and Stacie... and sorta her boss, Wyatt! Wut, wut. How's everyone feeling about Staubrey, and my own made up characters, Alex and Wyatt? Just for my own curiosity.
Also, kinda Chloe-centric, but there will be more insight into Beca's thoughts as we continue on this journey. Comments, questions, or just encourage is always appreciated, so leave a review!
Shout out to my brilliant editor, Ann, for double checking I wasn't ruining my story. You're awesome!
